Saturday, April 09, 2011
My head is kinda throbbing right now. I had another long Saturday. Hmmm ... if only I could have one of those pills from the movie, Limitless, which I watched today. Perhaps I would have had some clarity right now and this post will be extremely interesting. Let's start with the movie, Limitless, which I watched because of Bradley Cooper. Hmm ... it's weird, perhaps I'm kinda over him but I didn't find him to be extremely gorgeous here, except for when he appeared in the ending. He looked good clean cut. The one thing that captured me about him in this movie is how blue his eyes are. They are so blue and so captivating. NanSee thought he used contact lenses :P Anyway, Limitless wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be. I particularly didn't like the ending but I supposed it's a logical ending for it. I mean if a drug could make you be so smart, then you should really use that intelligence to figure out what's inside the drug and make it better and safer. Still, a life which was kinda based on cheating and without any major consequences doesn't really gel well with me. So basically I'm not raving about this movie :PAs usual my day today started with class. Nothing much can be said about it though the morning started so unexpectedly. De was the only one there when I came and he was actually late, which meant I was also late too if you're wondering. Yeah, I've been coming pretty late these past few weeks. Anyway, I'm just so relieved to see De there because being left alone with the teacher is nerve wrecking for me. De said, "But Mr. M is not bad". Well it's not him, it's just any teacher will make me nervous if I'm left alone with them. Simply because I don't speak french. So since there were only the 2 of us in the morning with Mr. M, I think we got to know his personal side more. After class was ramen lunch in Ippudo with some of the classmates and Yeni. Oshie loves this place so much that other ramen places fell short in his grading :P Well, I did love my ramen there but I'm pretty easy, I guess. I just don't like Ajisen Ramen :P
So anyway there were things said during the lunch that made me think some things about me. I was pretty relieved to be meeting NanSee afterwards. By the way I've been meeting her for some Saturdays in a row now, that I told her I feel like I'm dating her. Errr ... that is so wrong!!! Anyways, I just needed her opinion regarding some of the things said about me during lunch. She kinda knows me for some years now and she's still around in my life, hence I think I do have to be thankful that someone can accept me for who I am and also at the same time it shows as a proof that I'm not totally bad, that some people do find me nice, interesting, and worthy enough to be kept in their lives. Well maybe they are just amazingly nice people. The thankful part really made me feel thankful for the friends in my lives. My first thought goes to the people in Singapore who knows me well, like NanSee and la Gioia, who really get me and know what I will like or dislike and accept me for everything that I am and don't get surprised anymore with how I think, feel, or behave. I remember one time la Gioia told me that she knew that there would often be times when I need my space and she also knew how distinct I am in my opinion of things and I am very clear in what I want or don't want. These are the same knowledge of me that my good friends like Dewi and also perhaps Marlisa and Emilia understand about me.
So they get me. Even if they don't, I think they are not so surprised with what I can say or do. I don't really know how to describe how I feel or bring across my point here. Let me try. This week someone told me that she thought I was the happy-go-lucky kind, echoing the same thing that people told me as I mentioned in the previous post. This person didn't expect that I could be so emo*. Well I just basically told her that I need my space a LOT and I would rather be alone rather than be with boring people. Like seriously, my God, boring people are just ... I just feel I'm wasting my time if I have to hang out with them. Time that I can use to do other things that perhaps can calm me down or make me happy. I'm gonna be fair here and say they are not perhaps boring but they're just not interesting for me. They're perhaps a lot of fun for other people, but for me they just don't have anything interesting that can capture my attention and make me want to get to know them more, and worse still as I found out today, if they don't get my sense of humour. Well fine, some things that I thought are normal or funny or a-kind-of-a-joke things perhaps can be interpreted as being totally uncalled for, rude, too straightforward or direct, out of place, or plain wrong but guess what, there are crazy people out there who are as crazy as me or get my craziness and I have so much more fun with these kinda people. So as I was contemplating if the comments should make me reflect on myself and my characters, I ended up just wanting to say fuck it! So you think I'm crazy and improper for saying the things that I say, well fine, I don't hold that against you. I guess we're just not in the same frequency and that's fine, let me hang out with people who are more in my wavelength :) But I think if you can accept this about me, you will realize that I can be kinda fun or funny and my honesty can be something beneficial for you. I do actually hold my tongue, though perhaps many people will not believe this about me but really I do and when I do, I do it in every aspect of the way. I start from not saying what I really think about the person to the point of when I don't correct the person when they do something wrong and this is actually not beneficial for them and this basically shows that I don't give a shit about them, that I really just don't care. I don't know about you but I think it's better when someone cares about you, rather than not. Hmm ... I sound angry, don't I? Oh well ... there you go, I think I manage to say what I really want to say. If you're gonna mark me as stubborn, so be it :D
What else to say. This week has its good fortune but that doesn't mean I still don't have problems to deal with. I'm getting really tired and frustrated with things but I have to push on. I guess I just have to see it as noone else will look out for me except for myself. I guess noone else but God can do it better anyway. So God, please show me the way. Yesterday started and ended in a more relaxed mood and I think the start of next week would also be more relaxed and calmer. I guess what I need to try to do now, is try to keep being level headed (as if I ever am!) when the mess come trudging my way. Of course I like to just pray every night so that God protects me and keeps me from harm way. That's about it peeps. May God also protect you and keep you from harm way. Buonanotte!
*I really don't know how one describes emo in proper english, so I used the word as is. I guess my best bet to describe it is to be a cross between emotional and temperamental?
:) eKa @ 10:18:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, April 02, 2011
I'm very tired now that it's really hard to push my brain to churn out sentences. So let's try if I can make this brief and avoid repeated sentences. There were 2 good movies this week and so let's start with that.On Tuesday, I met YeeMaggio to catch up and talk about her newly acquired freedom. I think good things really come to people who work hard for it and she's one example of that. We went to watch Morning Glory which also highlight that idea, that when you work hard, something good will definitely come out of it. I love Morning Glory very much. I came in not expecting it to be amazing but I thought it was really good, funny, and entertaining. I kinda could relate with some of the things that happened to Rachel McAdams' character. I thought the cast was great. It helps that there's a handsome nice guy in there too :) Love it, love it, love it.
After class today, I had lunch with YeeMaggio, NanSee, and JM (my brain is too tired to create a name for her in this blog). We didn't spend much time together after lunch because me and NanSee decided to watch Mary and Max. I thought it's really really good. It's an animated film for adults based on a true story. The movie is about a young australian girl who randomly picked a name from a phone book and started writing letters to that person, who happened to be a 40 year old something guy living in New York. I felt that the way the story moved kinda mimicked the growth of the characters. When the girl was young, it was funny. As she grew older the story became deeper and more serious. The ending was pretty sad that I shed 1-2 tears. It was funny, touching, and enlightening, it's really really good.
I don't really feel like writing more. I'm so tired. This week has had its difficulties that if I have to list them all, I'll just get sad. With some things that kinda get resolved, more difficult and problematic things come my way. Damn, why can't things just be easy? In the class today, Mr. M asked us to talk about stress and such. I had U as my partner and she was stunned to know that I get stressed a lot, get depressed, get sad, and get withdrawn from the world and be unfriendly when I get stressed out. For the record, that conversation didn't take place entirely in french :P Anyway, U was surprised to find out this about me because she said I always look happy. Err ... Also this week, SC was telling me that I didn't seem to be the kind who get depressed. He thought I was the happy-go-lucky kind. I don't know how to respond to this. I'm still pretty twisted and restless. Obviously there are people and places who make me feel more relaxed and happy. Sadly those places or people are not in my everyday existence, so I guess I just try to get by. I don't really know if you get what I mean. I guess why I wrote this is because I'm just so stunned with how people perceive me. On one side, sometime I feel that they just don't know who I really am, what I am like. On the other side, I wonder if I am all that, that they think of me, it's just I just don't realize it yet. I don't really don't know.
There are perhaps may other things that I can write about. Feeling, sentiment, frustration, worry ... but I feel that by not talking about it or writing it out, I can kinda contain it and not let it go because when they go out, it's like a flame which get bigger and bigger and I'll end up being emotional and right now there are just too many things that I need to solve, that emotion is crippling. I don't know if I am making any sense. Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 8:48:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Hello guys, how are you doing? I had a 14-hour day today. I'm pretty tired. I'm glad to be all showered, smelling kinda nice, and just be in my room. I'm digging my brain to get a coherent flow of thoughts to be put here.This week hasn't been awesome simply because my mind is so obsessed with something and that something doesn't happen. Well perhaps not yet. So many people are telling me to be patient and that's exactly what I am not. I'm thinking if I should be plotting for plan B but I'm way too tired to do it now or this weekend for that matter. Please God, please the universe, let me have this, and let it go really really well, please?
So today, I went to watch Rango with NanSee. That girl was sorry that she forgot my birthday (she realized it after logging in to Facebook) that she got me a chocolate mousse today and treated me for a movie. It's really a sign of people who know me, they know I'm easily satisfied with movies and food. I have to say, I really really love the treat. It's always nice when someone gives you something, no? So I chose Rango because of Johnny Depp. However I'm not liking the movie much. I even found it to be rather boring. The characters were all these desert animals which are far from being cute, except for the mariachi owls, I think they were pretty entertaining. I can't comment much on the story because I thought it was rather predictable. There's a character who kinda thought pretty highly of himself, who luckily got into a position of importance, only to be proven to be a fake when it mattered, but then found his way back to redeem himself, and then everyone lived happily ever after. There were some pretty funny moments though. I did have a good laugh but it's not really a movie which I will watch over and over again. It's rather weird that I found this movie to be not too appealing especially since the reviews have been encouraging and there are many people raving about it. I think it's totally necessary that everyone has different opinions in this world but I really wonder why I'm not seeing how great this movie is, the way other people see it.
Other than the movie, I accompanied NanSee to get her ticket home from a travel agency in Chinatown. I showed her the touristic area of Chinatown. Chinatown really has some contrasting sides. On one side you have the tourists / (I think) caucasian expats area and on the other side, it's the Chinatown area where the locals and the people from China hang out. They are really 2 completely different sides of Chinatown. I will refrain from commenting further just because I don't want to appear so judgmental ... but wait, I'm already evidently and obviously judgmental :P but yeah, I'm just not gonna comment any further.
Today someone said something to me. After hearing what was said, I was thinking if she's being sarcastic and I thought it was kinda hurtful but again I'm not sure if she meant what she said or realized what she said could imply. It's interesting because today NanSee was telling me about this girl in her world which didn't seem to get how people perceive her and the sarcastic comment that some people gave to this girl. So it really got me thinking about the opinion which was uttered to me. Was the person who was saying that being sarcastic? I have to say it was rather good because it was so subtle. I'm not even really sure about it but I got pretty annoyed. It could be just me who perceive negativity really well. Maybe she didn't mean what I thought she meant but if she did, her subtleness is really good. However for the literal me, I feel it's kinda a waste. If you want someone to know how you feel, I think you shouldn't wrap it so delicately that the person may not get it. Make sure the person gets it, because if not, what's the point? I agree that you can be nicer in the way you phrase your sentences but I think being too overly diplomatic is not effective and efficient sometime because the person may not understand fully what you mean. That's just me. I have had people telling me that I am harsh for being this way but believe me when I say, I don't say most of the things that are in my head. I think that's me being nice, that I keep some things for myself. So when I do say something, I really really want it to be clear and understood fully :P Okay, let's just stop this topic here.
So I was talking to U after class today. We're talking about lives here and such. It's interesting the way she views her life now and I'm wondering why I am not seeing my life the way she sees hers, like ever. I really really don't see my life as amazing, even though I know how sinful this point of view is, especially since there are many people who think that my life is great. Why is it so? I don't know. I keep on thinking that there's something missing in my life but I don't know what it is actually. The stupid answer that people usually give me is that I need a boyfriend. Aarrrghhhh! I actually suspect that it's not an actual thing but more like a point of view or a state of mind, of just being thankful. I don't know if I'm right. It's 2 different things, of knowing what's right and actually doing what's right. So yeah, food for thoughts. Maybe to be like U, I should just learn to let go and accept what's here and appreciate and make the most of its every single second. She's still looking pretty positive and calm with all the things happening in Japan now. I really really hope things are going to get better there soon, especially because her parents are staying put in Tokyo :( despite of the fact that her sister and brother in law are coming here.
On the boyfriend part. Simply because I had some girl talk with NanSee today, I will try to answer the question that many people have asked me, of what kind of guy that I want / look for. One time, I tried to be unique and original and answered he should be intellectually interesting. This time, I'm gonna be practical and say, he should be tall, rather skinny, knowledgeable, funny, and interesting. I think the funny part is important because God knows, I need laughter a lot. I also have to add that for me, an interesting person is one who is rather smart and knowledgeable. So that's kinda important. On the way home today, my random thought told me, so that's what you want but perhaps that's not what you need and God always gives you what you need instead of what you want. So perhaps I've been setting the wrong criteria? Who knows :P Hmmm ... So that's my brain today. Take care peeps. Buonanotte!
:) eKa @ 9:28:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, March 14, 2011
Hello peeps. So I turned 29 today. It's an odd number (I like odd number more than even number) and it's a prime number (which I like even more). When I thought of 29, I was just thinking that it's the last prime number between 20 and 30. A quick look in wikipedia showed me this. I love the fact that 29 is the sum of three consecutive squares (2, 3, and 4) and Saturn requires over 29 years to orbit the Sun, what do you know! Cool trivia.So there have been many kind souls who wished me on my birthday. Love them all. Was wondering who were the people whose sms would reach my inbox first and I was delightedly surprised because the people are not who I expected. I haven't even talked to 2 of them for some time. So it was pretty good to hear from them. There were also some who I'm sure forget, but when they remembered, it's pretty nice. Then Facebook is of course such a good help. People don't even have to remember anymore, they just have to login.
All and all, there's nothing special about today. I wanted it to be low key and calm anyway. I've survived today, thank God!!! I prayed and made my wish last night. I have to say my wish this year was pretty mature. Hope God grants me what I wish soon. How do I feel? I feel okay. Knowing how cool 29 the number is, I feel pretty excited to be in it. Too bad I only have a year. I have decided to give something awesome for myself, hope it will work out. I cannot wait but as mom said I really just have to wait. Talked to mom just now. She's funny. I wonder if I really don't have much things that require a lot of attention in my life that I can remember a lot of stuffs. Mom was surprised that I remembered something *sigh* Sometime I wonder why many people don't remember things. Is it really because there's not much things in my brain that I have a lot of space to store things? I don't know. I don't think so. This rambling is getting weird. Anyway, I guess there's nothing much to say. I just want to give thanks to God that I'm breathing today. As much as I don't want to be older, I have to say 29 is better than 28, simply because 28 is an even number :P Sorry for this boring post but it is my birthday. May I have more patience, may I be nicer to people, may I be more useful to the world, may I be more thankful for my life and be happier with me. Buonanotte tutti!
:) eKa @ 9:19:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I'm not really sure if the title above is grammatically correct. Anyway, looking at this week, I had quite a social and expensive week. Yeah there were the mundane days but I met a few people this week.Monday - I did something which is the first step to something that I really really want. I cannot elaborate much about it because I'm pretty superstitious. There's no news so far and it kinda makes me rather worried and down. I think it's me being so impatient. Patience is really not one of my virtue.
Tuesday - I met up with NanSee for dinner and movie. I don't have anything that I really want to watch these days but she seemed to really want to watch a movie. So I thought why not. I was thinking that if there's a time I really want to do something with someone, I would really like to have someone who willingly do it with me even though it doesn't interest them much. As usual she came into the cinema not knowing what we were going to watch. I settled for The Adjustment Bureau. In the ad, it was mentioned that it was like, Bourne meeting Inception. I don't find it to be such an encouraging review simply because for me it kinda shows the lack of originality. It kinda implied that the movie took elements from 2 successful movies and put them together in the hope it would be great. However I thought it was kinda better than I expected it to be but maybe I'm bias. I just loved seeing Anthony Mackie. The black dude is hot, yo! At the core of it, despite of the science fiction elements or what have you, The Adjustment Bureau is a love story and it is kinda inspiring in a way. It's between choosing your heart and your head. The sceptical-in-love me really wondered if choosing your heart will always make you happier. Hmmm ... maybe the key is being happy, not happier.
Wednesday - It was the normal routine. Laundry. Glee. I love Glee but even I, have to admit that the story line has become pretty questionable these days. Maybe it's just me.
Thursday - I went to an Adobe Refresh talk and I saw a few people I know but the most surprising thing of all was when I saw Gascoigne. Holy God!!! We haven't seen and talked to each other for a long long time. He kinda went into a hermit mode. It was really good to meet him. There's so many things which I want to tell him. I also want to ask him what's been going on all this time but alas we don't have enough time to go through our lives in these past few months.
Friday - Nothing much to say here.
Saturday - Class as usual. U was telling / reminding me about the fact that I'm getting older really soon. Yeah, at that time, what bounds to happen was going to happened in less than 48 hours. She was comforting me again, telling me nothing is gonna change. Yeah, I really don't want to think about it and to be honest it's kinda stupid to be focusing on the fact that your age is changing when there are bigger and more pressing matters happening in the world. I was glad to hear that U managed to contact her family in Tokyo and everyone is okay. She said that she only managed to reach her dad at 1 am Saturday morning. She mentioned that there were worries about the fact that there are nuclear plants near the area of the earthquake and as evident from the news, they are causing concerns now. I remembered studying physics back in junior high school and I was totally fascinated with how much energy a nuclear reaction can give and I thought it's such an amazing idea to generate that much clean energy. However hearing nuclear leak and such like right now, it does make you wonder if the risk is worth it.
Yesterday I actually wanted to have someone to watch Jakarta Maghrib with but I didn't ask anyone so I thought I wasn't gonna watch it. Lo and behold, Oshie sent me an sms asking if I wanted to go for dinner. Let me pause right here and say, for all those people who told me how can you just sit and hope for something to happen to really happen if you're not gonna do anything about it. Well sometime it happens okay, sometime God just drops things for you. I suppose if you want it to happen faster or make sure it happens, you can just make your moves but seriously if it's not meant to be, it's just not gonna happen. So anyway, I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie. He said why not. Jakarta Maghrib is a short Indonesian movie, running at just 1 hour plus. It is actually a collection of short stories about the people in Jakarta during maghrib time. I don't watch many Indonesian movies. In fact this is only the second Indonesian movie that I watched in a cinema. The first one was also in a Singapore. I've never watched an Indonesian movie in an Indonesian cinema, strangely. It's just these days most of Indonesian movies are horror movies which I cannot watch anyway. Then Indonesian movies and tv series tend to be overly dramatic so that is such a turn off. However I found Jakarta Maghrib to be pretty good even though the english subtitle sucks so badly. God! How I really really hate bad english. I think my english is not like totally Shakespearean, I'm sure I make mistakes but little simple mistakes annoy me greatly. Back to the movie, I thought it was pretty good. I don't think it's Academy Awards material though (Crash it is not) simply because it's so deep in the context of life in Indonesia, I don't think people from other cultures can relate to it much. It's also pretty light-hearted which is fine for me. I enjoy seeing it, seeing Jakarta, and listening to Indonesian the way it's really spoken there and perhaps the way it's not really spoken by me anymore :( I really enjoy and like it. Sadly it's kinda a bit too short. Oshie thought the girl in one of the stories was pretty :D He really needs to go home. Anyway he dropped me some news which I cannot elaborate much. It got me thinking about stuffs on my way home. Seeing Singapore from the train windows, being under the night sky and air with its half moon, I kinda feel rather sad about things. I know it's melodramatic and I know I shouldn't be feeling sad about anything but I couldn't help it. I tried to contain it though by trying to block everything from my mind and I really really do, not want to think about anything right now. The sun has set and it will rise tomorrow and it's by God's grace that we're going to breathe again. So be it, we'll learn to live.
Sunday - Alright I have only a few hours left in my 28ths. I don't have anything special that I want to do. It's another Sunday evening and it's perhaps gonna be the usual Sunday night in which I wouldn't be able to sleep much and get cranky on Monday. Nothing changes perhaps as U said. Let me try to get back to you tomorrow.
:) eKa @ 9:21:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Was supposed to hang out with some people today but I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I decided to hang out with Ms. J instead and watched True Grit. I had a good lunch, the movie was pretty good, the afternoon tea was great as well, the talk was thorough, so all in all my Saturday has been pretty good. I did feel sleepy during True Grit but it's not because the movie was boring. As usual my Saturdays start early and I had lunch before the movie, so I guess being sleepy is expected. I have to say that the English was not so easy to understand but it's still so much better that Brokeback Mountain. I actually love many of the lines. They really did speak differently back then. It just sounded more poetic and if only people do speak like that once awhile now, it will make things more amusing. I thought True Grit was pretty good. The lines were pretty funny at times and the casts were great. Special mention for Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld. They do deserve their academy awards nomination. The Oscars have been handed to the winner, but let me just tell you (as if you care) my preference among the 4 movies which were nominated for best picture which I had watched recently. They would be (in order of preference) The King's Speech - True Grit - 127 Hours - Black Swan. I don't mind with the fact that The King's Speech won best picture but somehow I felt that it should have gone to Inception because it was so brilliant in terms of the story and special effects and the casts weren't bad as well.On other news. So Saturday started as usual. I sat next to U today and I was telling her that I start to get panic attacks and feel depressed that March is here. She tried to comfort me by saying that it's okay and that she felt the same way when February came but when her birthday came she said that everything is just the same, nothing changes. Talking about being in total denial :P I guess for us we are really hanging on to this last year in our 20s. Maybe we'll really be in a zen mode next year or maybe not, we'll see. So with my cousin turning 29 today, it means it's 9 more days 'til it's my turn and I'm really not ready. I don't want to think about it but I know I have to eventually face it. On one part I want the days to go by fast so that I can experience the birthday present I'm getting myself. However on the other part, I really really don't want to get older :(
So today was spent with Ms. J. On my way home today, a thought came that it's been a long time since we first met and were Ms. J and Ms. Eka. I do have to say that there were times I miss being Ms. Eka. Anyway, I'm really in need to tell someone about something and it was good that there's Ms. J around. She counseled me on something which I've already known. However hearing it from her didn't make it easier to swallow and if anything it kinda made me a bit sad but as often it goes, reality is not as we wish it to be :( I've told her though that even as I understand what she means and my head is telling the same thing, I still feel what I feel and it's even growing stronger. Even as I know that I have to control my feeling instead of the other way around, I still do not learn how to do that. I even often let my feeling roam freely around and even at this point, the point where I'm gonna be a total foolish girl pretty soon, I'm still not trying to contain it. I learned a new phrase today, il n'y a pas de hasard, maybe I should keep my hope in that. Oh well. I hope all of you are having a good weekend. There's something that I need to do Monday morning and I feel totally nervous about it. I'm trying not to think so much about it, but I'll be praying a lot so that everything will go smoothly (PLEASE GOD!!!). Allora, buonanotte tutti!
:) eKa @ 9:56:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Went to watch 127 Hours with la Gioia yesterday. To be honest, initially I wasn't interested eventhough James Franco is such a luring factor. I was thinking if it's gonna be like Cast Away, where following that 1 person got really boring. I mean it's okay to watch it one time, but Cast Away is not really a movie I can watch over and over again. In the end, the James Franco factor kinda won so I contacted la Gioia who had expressed interest about it. I have to say James Franco was really really good. He was so goofy but when he came down to it, I thought he was able to convey the inspirational story that was behind this movie. Cinematography wise, I thought it was really really good. I love the scenes and the canyons are so beautiful. It made me feel like I want to include visiting places like that in my life list.Anyway, the movie being based on a true story really made me think how I would react on the same situation. I really don't know how I can survive. It also got me thinking of how hard it is to die. I think at a certain point he was expecting to die and yet with every morning he woke up and was alive. I guess he realized there's a reason why he's still alive or since he basically had nothing to do, he might as well try to cut his hand and try to get out. It's tough tough tough! and I really admire Aron Ralston for being able to get through it. It is really amazing. The movie felt pretty real in describing the shittyness of the situation, the fear and sadness of being alone and stuck, and obviously the amputation. I actually covered my eyes in many of the scenes because I really couldn't watch it. I thought it's a really well made film and I like it more than Black Swan but I still love The King's Speech more.
There's a line in the movie that really captured my attention.
You know, I've been thinking. Everything is ... just comes together. It's me. I chose this. I chose all this. This rock ... this rock has been waiting for me my entire life. Its entire life, ever since it was a bit of meteorite a million, billion years ago. In space. It's been waiting, to come here. Right, right here. I've been moving towards it my entire life. The minute I was born, every breath that I've taken, every action has been leading me to this crack on the out surface.
I thought it was really poignant and at the same time poetic and I kinda feel that it's so true and I hope hope HOPE, there's something like that rock for me in my life. Something that will come into my life and make me realize that I was destined to meet it. I do hope it's not like being stuck somewhere and I hope it's something nice but I do hope I get to meet that something that make me realize how it's meant for me and for my life. I don't really know if I am making any sense. Oh well ...
:) eKa @ 9:52:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Went to watch Black Swan today. I didn't like it much. I think it's because I just don't like the pyschotic theme around it. I don't like the dark element around it and the dark elements literally on the cinematography. Natalie Portman did do really well as a frail paranoid dancer but I don't think she blew me away with her performance. I guess I'm really not excited about this film at all. As I was watching the movie, especially towards the end when Natalie Portman's character got more paranoid, I was thinking if I'm gonna get a nightmare tonight because of the kinda scary (for me) scenes that I really should watch some lighthearted things before I go to sleep tonight. Anyway, if I want to compare it with The King's Speech, I guess I like The King's Speech so much more. I was looking at the list of movies which are nominated for Oscar this year. Obviously I haven't watched all of them, but I'm thinking if I should give my vote to Inception since I was totally blown away when I watched it and I like it a lot. For now, I'm kinda very interested with True Grit. Let's see if we can schedule that and 127 Hours in.On life. I was thinking that I wanted to say there's nothing interesting happening in my life but the truth is there are a few things that I could share and in fact I would really want to share. Unfortunately I cannot write them here and as much as I want to share them, I kinda don't have people whom I can talk to about, well at least people who would just give their time and attention and to hear me completely. I guess it's pretty interesting whom I put my trust into. Like there are people whom other people would never have suspected who knows a great deal about things that I keep quiet. It's rather weird how I choose the people whom I tell my deep thoughts to. Even I get surprised at the randomness of it, especially when I realize one of the people who know quite a whole lot is a boy who's 7 years younger than me. How I became so trusting of this boy, I don't know. I guess when you can talk really well with someone, the conversation just flows. It's too bad this jabber boy is not gonna be around this week. Something happened yesterday and on that instant I was thinking that I wanted to tell him about it. As a substitute I told NanSee about it when she called me last evening. However I don't think she really got it because I couldn't give her a reenactment. Anyway yesterday in the class, I said something along the line that my heart is okay. It happened when we wanted to know how to say, my heart is broken. U thought I was heartbroken and so I said, no my heart is in an okay mode. It is really true and I want to keep it that way. I want a calm and peaceful heart. So whatever butterflies which are trying to flutter, they gotta be crushed. I'm borrowing that line from Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl. Yes, I have to embarrassingly admit I watch Gossip Girl :( Hmmm, since I cannot elaborate much, I guess I stop now. Have a good week ahead, peeps!
:) eKa @ 7:46:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Went to watch The King's Speech with la Gioia yesterday and I enjoyed it very much. I think it was really good, fitting of its nomination for Best Picture in this year's Oscar. A lot have been said about Colin Firth in this movie and yes he was very good. However I was actually more drawn to Geoffrey Rush. He was a delight to watch and knowing that he was the one who played Captain Barbossa in the Pirates of the Caribbean just made it more amusing for me to watch him. It was also interesting to watch Helena Bonham Carter. She's just so different than the normally manic her in the Potter movies and in Alice in Wonderland. Seeing her being so nice and supportive is such a nice change, she made her character so loveable. By the way, it has been said that most of British actors and actresses (almost everyone) acted in the Potter movies and yes it's perhaps true. I recognized the actor who played Dumbledore and there's the actor who played Peter Pettigrew.Watching the movie kinda made me wish I am a royalty and people will have to call me "her majesty" or something like that :P I'm glad that la Gioia asked me to watch this movie and since it's so good, I really wonder if I should check out the rest of the movies which are getting Oscar buzz. I am planning to watch Black Swan soon. Anyway I'm totally recommending you to watch The King's Speech. If you think it might be boring, it's not boring at all. It's touching, kinda inspiring, witty, and really heart warming to watch. Hmm ... I should comment on the part where King Edward VIII abdicated for love. I don't know if I can do that if I'm in that situation. How do you know that love is worth a whole kingdom? I'm not sure if walking away from your responsibility for the sake of following your heart is the right thing to do. I guess I'm so uptight and really sceptical in love :P
Okay, I will stop now. I wanted to watch Glee but all the sites are too slow. I should sleep early I guess. I've been wanting to sleep early and yet I couldn't managed to do it in these past few days. Good night peeps!
:) eKa @ 10:23:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Hello guys, how are you doing? I hope you are doing better than me. I'm down with flu. It's really bad. I've been having it for 1 week plus. Yesterday I finally surrendered and went to the doctor and man was that expensive. My usual doctor is not back yet from visiting her son in England that I have to go to a different clinic and it cost me double than usual. I do feel much better but I am not totally well that it's pretty annoying. I really really hope I will be great by Monday. There's so many things that I have to deal with and I need my brain to be working. If it can work better than usual it would be even better.So I arrived here on Tuesday night. The plane was 1 hour late and so I arrived later than I wanted to. I had my flu and there's something with that and the air pressure that there was a point where my ears hurt a whole damn lot. I remembered it had happened to me before but I was still pretty worried. I couldn't hear really well after that, it felt like there's water in my ears. Luckily by the time I woke up the next day, they felt much better. I was so heavily medicated that I kinda lost my taste sense and basically I was just plain miserable. I felt so bad for having to stay at home yesterday but I thought I needed to. I was thinking the long weekend would be good for me to get a good proper rest. However I did go to class today. We are starting at 08:30 for our remaining classes to make up for the class we missed when Mr. M went for a holiday. It's not ideal for me because I already normally come late when it's at 9. So it's hard for me to be half an hour earlier and you can be sure that I am not making it on time. Well at least Mr. M is entertaining. I was thinking that one of this day I would on reflex punch him because he's so mischievous.
Let's talk about home. Well it was so great to be sleeping on my bed. I really really really love my bed at home. I hope I can have it here in Singapore :( I had a haircut. I met with the girls, Marlisa, Emilia, and Dewi and confessed something to them. I confessed the same thing to my mother though I downplayed it a lot. It's so weird that I am telling all these people. If it really goes my way, I think it would be nothing short of a miracle. But as I wrote that I don't even know what my way is, what I want is. Maybe when it comes down to it, I just can't commit. Moving on. So Chinese New Year rituals and traditions were the same. Saw the aunts, uncles, cousins. Heard stories. Saw changes. I seriously only get to see most of them once a year and for the adults, you don't see much changes in them but for the little ones like my cousin's kids, it's a whole lot different. I love seeing Little Alden because as my aunt said it, he seemed to be very open to be around me. The last time I saw him he was just learning to walk but now he's walking and maybe next year he'll start singing like his sister, Mikaela. Man I still remember the time when Mikaela was so young that she peed in our living room without warning :P Anyway, baby Alden was so funny. He was like a turtle. When you put him lying face up, apparently he couldn't get up on his own. My cousin said one time he bumped his head or fell trying to get up that it seemed he's traumatized to do it again. So they are using this to punish him. As mean as it is for me to say it, it is really funny to see him get frustrated and starts crying :P
Me and the aunts and an uncle and a cousin took a trip outside Jakarta this time around. We went last weekend actually. We went to Puncak. My auntie has a really wicked driver. He kicks ass. Well under Singapore standards he may be seen as reckless. I even had my worries when we were going down a mountain on a foggy dark morning when it was only 4 am. Well roads in most mountains are always in a spiral, so there's always a lot of sharp turns. We had fog and it was dark because the sun is not up yet and it's Indonesia which means when I say it's dark it's really dark, it's not as properly lighted as Singapore. I do wonder if living in Singapore all this time is like living in a sterilized bubble. I am prone to sickness more easily in Indonesia because things are not so clean as here and I've become rather spineless because it's always so proper and by the rule here. Anyway so that driver under that condition, still managed to go at a really high speed and overtook some people. I was pretty worried at that time actually. I think he got us down a mountain in around half an hour so it's actually totally awesome! When we were going there, the sun was slowly rising so it wasn't so dark but the fog was pretty thick and yet we could arrive substantially earlier than my uncle who left earlier and whose house was nearer to Puncak. My aunt and uncle were so impressed with the driver that they wondered if we flew there :P
Anyway it's been a long time since I went to Puncak. It's cold there. We went to Taman Bunga Nusantara. It was actually pretty nice there. It's unexpected that Indonesia has such a place. It's not like totally amazing but it's not bad and I think for Indonesia to have such a place, it's pretty cool. Then we also went to see a waterfall in Cibodas. It was quite a walk to get there. The trail wasn't actually smooth so it was actually quite a fun walk. Well at least for me, I know some people had difficulty going through it because of the distance and perhaps the fact that walking on the path was like walking on cobblestones. Again the Singaporean influenced me was thinking of how actually the path was not so safe and there weren't actually staffs or people who you could call if something went wrong. There were little boys who worked to help tourists to go to the waterfall. Not actually a good business since you can't possibly go lost when you just need to follow the path but I did see a boy who piggybacked an Indian boy as the Indian father ran behind them. Obviously they were tourists. I couldn't help feeling it's ironic and amusing at the same time. 2 boys with different fates in life and as much as I pity the Indonesian boy, I thought it was cool of him for being able to do that :) By the way these boys are like 9 or 10 years old. Anyway the walk was fun for me because you just felt so good when you completed it both on your way in and out.
Another interesting visit on our trip was when we visited a factory outlet. I know many Indonesians are crazy about factory outlets but I had never visited a good one until this time that I felt pretty sad that it's after chinese new year hence I couldn't shop :( I so want to go there again. All the branded goods were like 4-5 times cheaper and I'm pretty sure that some of them could be even 10 times cheaper. I do question the originality of the goods but they seemed pretty authentic. My aunt who has a clothing store said that they are authentic because as you know your clothes though they are american or italian brands, they do come from places like Indonesia, China, and India. Even the recent gap jeans I bought was made in Bangladesh. So my aunt said some of these goods are rejected goods but that doesn't mean they are bad. The mistakes could be so minor that you wouldn't even notice it. She also said that sometime these goods are left over. Like the factory was told to make a dozen and yet they make 13 or 15. When I touched the fabric, they did feel pretty good. You have things from Armani, Gap, Guess, Esprit, Marc Jacobs, Prada and many others. I was pretty shocked when I saw something from Desigual there. I can go crazy inside there. Even for an Indonesian price, it's really not expensive. So who cares if a button is perhaps not so perfectly sewn in. I hope we can go there again but the thing is, it's pretty far :(
That's about it peeps. Here are some pictures from the trip. I took a lot of pictures of flowers that even my mom was bored with it :P The peacock picture is from Taman Bunga Nusantara. For more pictures you can go here. Stay healthy all!
:) eKa @ 8:16:00 PM • 0 comments
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