Bottom of the Zombie Chain

I once wrote before about being at bottom of the zombie chain, a string of words that makes no sense, but since I have nothing interesting to write this October, I'm just gonna use that weird combination of words to start writing about something. Why do I think it makes no sense? Well a chain doesn't have a bottom, unless you set it vertically I guess. I could easily just say bottom of the totem pole, but I think I just started saying bottom of the zombie chain to really emphasize how shitty the situation is. Anyways if you think of a totem pole as being constituted of several pieces or blocks, being at the bottom is actually crucial for the whole totem pole. When you try to remove the bottom, you may cause the whole totem pole to crumble (think Jenga). Now if you're bottom of a zombie chain (though as I established there's no bottom on a chain, actually last would be a more suitable word) and you get eaten by a zombie, you actually give time for the rest of the chain to escape and escape they will and should. Your tragic, painful, and alone demise is actually benefiting others. What I want to say is being bottom of a zombie chain is worse than being bottom of a totem pole.
Side note: The Walking Dead is returning this coming weekend. I usually get to watch it on Monday evening and that's something that helps me get through Monday, something to look forward to, but in this new episode, we'll find out who die and that would sucks!

Anyway why am I writing about all this zombie chain. Is life okay? Well life is comme ci comme ça, comme toujours (so so, as always). Really when I think about it, this time last year was much worse. It was shitty shitty bang bang then. So I should just be thankful that this time around it's much better. However I guess with all the restlessness that always surrounds me like dark shadows, I will forever and always feel uneasy :( This bottom of the zombie chain is right to describe many different situations I'm in, but I want to use it to describe my current Japanese class. I have been talking about how at the bottom of the class I've been feeling, like the song Fond de L'Étang (bottom of the pond) sung by the boys in the movie, Les Choristes (a really nice kinda sad french movie, do watch it if you haven't), well last time there were others who I felt were at the bottom with me too, but now it's no longer like that. We just started a new class last week and that other person left because he's just too busy too work. Seriously, though my classmates are nice, I get more nervous about class :( This current class will end in January next year and I don't know if we'll have the number to continue. One person is planning to leave because she has a good job offer back in her country. I wonder if this class will be my last :( which will be a shame, despite of me struggling in class. It's hard really and it's kinda enlightening to think of classmates in other languages classes that I've taken before who felt this way too, only back then I thought maybe they didn't try hard enough. It can be said of me too, I think I don't try hard enough. I should be more disciplined in learning Kanji and memorizing everything :(

Next week class has a break due to Deepavali and I am looking forward to waking up late. I may still end up doing nothing of interest. Most likely I would just go to the movies. I haven't been doing much of that lately, to my surprise too. The last movie I watched was Inferno and seriously it made me miss Italy, especially the Italy I visited on my first visit there, my first trip ever alone. Watching Inferno, I felt very blessed to have visited each and every place featured in the movie both in Italy and Turkey. I may complain a lot about things I have to do, but there's no denying that all that fund all the wonderful trips I've been able to make. I am really blessed in this case though I don't say my grace enough. Speaking of which, around 2 months left in this year, it's a good time to start thinking what we should do next year. I have some ideas. Next year I will be 35 (damn it) and I do feel like doing something major but there's always fear. We'll see where I'll end up. I have a feeling I may chicken out and choose the easy thing, but who knows maybe somehow I'll end up getting what I want. I really have nothing else to write peeps. Hope your days are glorious. Ciao!

:) eKa @ 6:58:00 PM • 0 comments