To Point B

Hello peeps, how are you? Another Saturday without nap for me.

First, let me start off with sharing the good news. I passed CELI 3 exam. Well Chiara is known to make mistake sometime, but I don't think she made a mistake on mine. So she emailed me telling me that I pass and I got a C. Yes, it is only a C, but a C was pretty much what I was aiming for when I was studying and strategizing for the exam. I am just freakin' delighted to pass, it's quite un miracolo. I kinda feel it's a nice wrap on my Italian studies all this time. After the CELI 3 exam back in June, I've decided I'm not gonna take CELI 4. Basta, grazie. I do feel that the time to stop my Italian lesson is nearing even though I still can't speak much. I just feel like learning new things. We will see, there's the 'want' and then there's the practicality. So I haven't made a final decision on what I will do next.

Didn't go to class today. I went to Aika's wedding ceremony. Aika was of course gorgeous as she is and I'm happy for her. Was expecting to meet all the NUS friends, but not many came. It was good nonetheless to meet JTG, Arief, Dwi, Siska, Indah, and Velina. Unfortunately, we didn't spend much time to catch up. Life really has taken all of us on different paths and I'm glad some people are still as nice and friendly as they were, like JTG for example. It did feel weird to me being there and see that the people I thought would be there, wasn't there. Funny how life and relationship go, really. Especially after hearing who's married, who's with kids and stuff. The time I spent with my NUS friends are the past, and to hear where they are now without hearing the story of how they get there just feels rather amazing and at times unbelievable. God is really amazing, I suppose. He really has His plans and even though as human you cannot comprehend it, it doesn't mean it's not gonna work out. So how I get to my point B will be interesting indeed. Stay tune peeps.

After the wedding, me and Vivy went to watch Mamma Mia. It was okay, I suppose. I wasn't really blown away with it. I don't think the singing was amazing. The senior actresses and actors definitely outshined the younger ones. Meryl Streep, Julie Walters, Pierce Brosnan were good. I especially like Julie Walters. She's definitely underused as Mrs Weasley in the Potter movies.

My good friend Emilia is in town with the future in-laws. I don't know if I will get to see her. Hopefully yes. She's leaving town tomorrow evening, so we don't actually have much time. Oh well. On other news, well nothing much. Life is just so-so I suppose. Be happy still, even if you can't, be grateful still. That's one thing I should practice more, saying grace. Ciao a tutti!

:) eKa @ 7:42:00 PM • 0 comments

singapore biennale 2008

Took the afternoon off today. Was supposed to watch Mamma Mia but I had some things to do so the timing just didn't make it possible. In the end, went with Vivy to the singapore biennale 2008. I'm writing it the way it was written in the guide book. I'm not trying to be artsy here. The going to there proved to be a real pain in the ass. Many of the road were closed because of preparation for the F1 races. I found out from the news just now that today is actually the first day. Lucky us. I was getting really pissed actually, because I hadn't had lunch, it was hot, and the dumbest thing ever, I took a bus from Bugis wanting to go to Suntec only to end up in Bugis again. Aaarrrghhh. I realize when I am tired, especially if it is caused by walking some distance in the hot sun, I do actually throw tantrums and I become super bitch. I guess Dewi perhaps felt that when we went on our holiday. We did have to walk quite a lot today, since the exhibitions are in City Hall and the South Beach Development.

The Biennale was ... well, I just couldn't get it, didn't understand many of it. The majority of it are installation arts. Only a few featured photographs or art works which were rather obvious to enjoy. Some things really ... I don't understand. Example: the close up photographs of a chewing gum. Mind you they even displayed the chewed chewing gum used as the model. Then one exhibit from an Italian guy was the exhibition of many bar soaps under a tree. Then there's an Indonesian video showing how a motor cyclist compete with public transport in an nintendo game kinda way (I couldn't explain it well). I don't get this kind of arts. I guess I'm pretty much a straight forward person in my point of view. I don't really enjoy having to absorb the display, think about it and process it and try to find the hidden meaning, etc. If anything, many of them actually gave me the creep. They kinda freaked me out. If I should answer if they evoke any emotion, then they kinda evoked the scared sad emotion in me and the little girl me might have nightmares from them. Not that they are scary or anything, though there were some displays in which I waited for Vivy to come and view it together, it's just I just had those feeling looking at them and being around them. I guess I prefer arts that can evoke happy positive feeling instead. Okay, it's getting late. So I'm just gonna post picture, okay (trying to keep the formatting from blogger). See if you can get some of these arts stuff.

Okay the first picture is not part of the exhibition. Just thought it's a very good picture of the window, and behind you can see the red and yellow seats for the F1 races. I think these seats cost a bomb.

This piece is from a Singaporean artist. It's actually very big, covering a big wall, and the artist used paints to come out with this. The guide was very cheerful and friendly when she was explaining to us about the arts. She said she's been there for awhile, I guess the arts got into her head. Seriously though, she was really nice.

This is a floating book, a philosophical book floating in an aquarium. Looking at the picture I took, it kinda reminded me of the jellyfish pictures in my collection. A bit reminded me of Harry Potter too. The description of this piece in the guide book has the words globalization, ideological history, modern civilization, materialistic and spiritual viewpoints in them. Alright, how it gets to there is open to your interpretation.

These ones are from Iranian artists. I love the humor in it.

This one is part of the pieces from Indonesian artists. Their exhibition was in a room, where there are this piece on the wall and a music video at the other wall.

The next few, I like. They are cut out of flowers being placed on sands. I chose this first one because the colour came out great though the flowers on the front blurred the ones behind.

One side of the flowers were colourful and the other side were black. So it's really 2 extreme sides. This is the view from the other side.

And this is from the flowers' side views. You can see Vivy in the picture actually.

This piece on the wall is in the same room as the flowers. Nothing really special about it, but I chose to put this in because in this picture, the car and the boy looked rather 3D towards you when they were actually carved inside (I can't explain it well).

This is one of the many video pieces. I really don't get them all actually, but somehow this ... well it gave me mixed feeling. Solitude is one of them.

This is a knitted lamp. The pieces accompanying this were all knitted. There was a toucan bird on a vespa. You tell me what that means.

These are stacks of things which you can find in your house also I suppose. I guess being able to stack your things neatly is a form of art?

Just a hall being painted this way. Kinda cool I suppose.

The artist for this one is from Vietnam. It's called The Dancer. The head, hands, and feet of the dancer is actually separated from the body, hence you saw all the ropes. The cool thing about it I think is because you can see Vietnam traces in the art, for example in the decoration on the dress of the dancer.

This one I kinda like. A series of pictures of a man with a crescent moon. I found it to be cute and quite comforting. You can perhaps feel disturbed for such childish imagination on an adult, but I dig it.

Last one, this one is on the South Beach ground. I suppose the text is just calling out to you. Though I think the line is something you can commonly find in a T-shirt.

Okay that's all folks. go if you've got nothing to do? Ticket price is S$10.

:) eKa @ 9:57:00 PM • 0 comments


Not really sure if that is a real word, maybe I should just say sono stanca morta, aarrgghh. Not having my usual Saturday nap, so the head is really rather heavy now. I guess I just had such a difficult day physically yesterday. Was having a rather heavy flu in the morning. Any other day, I would have taken myself straight back to bed but I had things to clear and so I stayed on. Drank panadol cold (I think it was left over from Vinny), and perhaps my breakfast wasn't substantial enough that the tummy felt really weird afterwards and I had difficulty keeping lunch down. I managed to do a few stuffs and still met Vivy for dinner to pass her some things. Went home rather late, and I stayed up until quite late as well.

Had difficulty waking up this morning that I was pretty late for class. I guess everyone was having a difficult morning. I arrived a few seconds after Q and she was the first one to arrive actually, at around 20 minutes late. She forgot her wallet today. Rae was later than us. Then A.Nobre dragged his sick body in. Everyone were pretty much trying hard to just get through the class. I really miss bigger class. Smaller class just lack the enthusiasm. But I told A.Nobre that I'll continue if they need the number, because actually I don't feel like continuing next term.

Anyway, did have kiwi today as instructed by MarChe yesterday. It was sweet and I really liked it. In fact my carrot tomato juice today also tasted supreme. The carrots were good, they were sweet. Met up with Vivy and Aron for lunch to discuss our financial situation. Very heavy lunch, kinda very bad for the heart. At least they were pretty good though. We had padang food today and I do need my Indonesian food. Currently I feel, the easiest way to comfort me is to give me some nice Indonesian food.

On other news, Rista apparently is not gonna be able to transit here for a long time, she couldn't get the flight. So sadly I wouldn't be able to meet her. However, my good friend, Emilia, will be in town next week with the future in laws. I hope I can see her. The last time she was here, I had fever. If I had known that these people are able to make it in town at this period, I would pitch to watch the F1 races. Oh well ...

Been trying to sort out my life and try a few things. I've been letting my life to go on as is without driving it. I let it run itself and then I wonder and complain miserably why things do not go as I want it to be. So I am making small steps. Apparently small steps need me to walk more outside my comfort zone. Not really what I am hoping for or actually want for that matter but I just feel I have to see what the other options are. On that note, I've also been making an effort to pray to God, actual effort. Seriously I haven't been really making any effort at all all these times, so now I try to make that time to say my prayer and what I want clearly. All are baby steps. I don't even know if I can keep it up but who knows, things may change, I may change and perhaps I wouldn't be so sad anymore and people will be less worried of me.

I'm biting my tongue on things that I feel like saying (writing) out loud *sigh*

:) eKa @ 6:50:00 PM • 0 comments

E Sará A Settembre

The title of this post is from a song title that Andrea Bocelli sang. You know how sometime you can hear a song many times without getting much out of it and suddenly you just listen to the lyric or the lyric just pop to you and then you realize how wonderful the song is, well something like that happened to me and this song. One day a line just popped and I love the song because of it. Verrai e scoprirai perché io posso amare solo te ... which by my translation means you will come and you will find out why I can love only you. Darn I found that so sweet. I don't know if it's the new language effect kinda thing but sometime I feel Italian songs feel so sweet to me. I finally understand why people can cry watching an opera because there's also one of Andrea Bocelli's songs which made me wanna cry some time ago. It's the lyrics and the way he sang it. I kinda feel that he really put his emotion into the words and it made it beautiful.

Went to see la Gioia again today. RH came as well. She's having complications so she has to stay in the hospital longer and I really ope that things will not go to the worse end. Really have to pray more for her and I hope people do. Kinda sad to see her have to go through this.

My life this week had been ... well not a good one. Broke down this week and cried. I got a revelation about my relationship with God. It's so unexpected and so sad for me. I don't want to elaborate more, let's just say I'm having a spiritual crisis and at this point in time, I haven't talked to God about it again and dealt with it. I suppose to deal with a spiritual crisis is to talk to your religion's leaders or something like that, but that is not something I will do actually even though perhaps I really need it. Sigh. I seriously have life issues. MarChe finally visited us and the kind sensitive him told me whatever it is, just remember that things could be worse, yes it could be better but it could be worse too. Yeah ... I am perhaps not grateful enough.

Yesterday had a small interrupted talk with Starfish. Though I was already signed out, he kindly typed out his thoughts in MSN when I told him about my frustrating desire of materialistic fulfillment. This topic had also been touched by my mother a few times. I don't know why it matters a lot for me when I knew when I cried this week, the main issue that I had is not financial reason. I guess I've been looking at this future plan B that I have though it has been addressed to me that it's kinda silly of me to prepare for plan B, thinking that plan A is not a possibility at this 20 something point in my life. I deserve something good in life but I have difficulty believing it. I'm so messed up.

Okay, let's not talk about it then. Went to Chinese Garden yesterday with Casryn. Another thing crossed in my Singapore list. Rista is coming for a transit at the end of this month, I hope I can cross some things too with her, like going to the Biennale. We'll see. I'm now getting excited for her to come. I really just want to hang out with a different kind of people than the ones I'm used too and an old Indonesian friend would be great.

Anyway, so here are the pics from the Lantern Festival at the Chinese Garden. I don't like the Hello Kitty theme though, but I guess it will have to make do. My favourite one is actually the first one we saw. Very Chinese and there was traditional Chinese songs accompanying the display, so it really set up the mood.

Then here are some of the other lanterns and the Hello Kitty stuff. Some of the pictures I took were actually not bad. Little kids would definitely get a kick out of this. If you wonder, my favorite characters out of all is Kero Keroppi and perhaps the black Badtz-Maru. Not posting his picture though.

Look at this guy, very cute!

When we were wandering around, some of the lanterns were actually off, especially the one we affectionately called the sotong balls, actual term is actually the Hello Kitty totem poles. Luckily when we made a last turn before we went home, they were on. If not Casryn would definitely have cried

The Kero Keroppi stacks. The bottom one is so cute. I didn't take a close up of each of the stacks. If I put them, it's gonna be too long anyway

Last one, the lanterns on the tree. I love the colours. The picture didn't really do justice.

:) eKa @ 10:08:00 PM • 0 comments

"What I want is not what I should want", said Eka

Had the afternoon off today. Been looking forward to it for a long long time. Been feeling very bored, uninspired, and so want to get out of the merda hole. I suppose it's the usual same old whining. Too bad today's solitary has to be over. Hopefully I won't be rude again tomorrow. I just got agitated this morning and ended up becoming quite vicious. I have issues, I have things that come and haunt me and stir my inside, giving me questions and bringing back memories. All that I tried to ignore and shut away, but they're in everything, in everywhere that I am. It doesn't help when you are bored because an unoccupied mind is such an easy target. I guess I have to deal with some of the issues and on others I just really have to bury them deep. The past is indeed really in the past, a past that is so long ago. No such things will happen again (or so it seems) and I should just stop doing what I just did, putting "or so it seems" inside a bracket.

Anyways, so yeah, I used the afternoon to do some stuff. I can't say I accomplished much. Obviously I used the afternoon to watch something. After fussing if I should watch something lighter, I ended up sticking to my original choice, The Hunting Party. The background of the movie based on the synopsis I read was the war in Bosnia, so I was kinda wondering if I would get bored. It turned out to be quite a nice surprise. Entertaining simply because of the witty lines and the good actors, like Richard Gere and Terrence Howard, whom I found did really really well. The story felt so unbelievably unbelievable at times, but the movie was actually based on a real life event, though it seems that the similarity is just a teeny weeny bit. It's really a nice movie, too bad it didn't get much publication and so not many people know about it. I do recommend this to you especially if you get annoyed with the brainless movies showing currently. The Hunting Party is not the least bit boring, it's very interesting, and the ending was quite happy one for me, so overall it's quite a good watch.

Actually if I have my way, I would have liked to watch The Band's Visit which is showing today as one of the movies for the Israel Film Festival. Unfortunately it doesn't really have much showing and it's booked out from like 2 weeks ago. So that's a real disappointment for me. I've been wanting to watch this, since perhaps last year when I first saw the trailer back home. Maybe I should get some help in getting this movie. Anyway, the Israel Film Festival seems to have quite a number of interesting movies, like its main movie Noodle. However no such luck if you are thinking to watch it because it's all sold out and yes from around 2 weeks ago *sigh* I think they are only showing the movies at the Picture House. I feel they should have made it more available for commoners to go and watch it. I just feel that with the little showing, the people who watch it are perhaps people from the embassy or the Israel society here or the Singapore Film Society. It's not really inviting for the normal ordinary people.

Kinda don't feel so good right now. Do want to get a mild sickness so that I can stay at home. Yes, I know that's a really bad thing to say, especially in the light of la Gioia being hospitalized for appendicitis and she's still there, and it's almost a week now. Poor her, she couldn't eat and that's kinda worrying. I do feel thankful that whenever I got sick, I have never gotten so bad that I needed to be hospitalized. I just couldn't imagine going through that here alone, without my family. Went to see her with RH on Saturday. I couldn't help thinking that months ago, it was me and la Gioia who visited RH in the same hospital. The illogical and superstitious me was wondering if my turn would come. KNOCK ON WOOD! KNOCK ON WOOD! I couldn't let that happen. So I guess peeps, I just want to tell all of you, to say a little prayer and take care of your health, okay.

:) eKa @ 8:27:00 PM • 0 comments