Friday, June 03, 2022
I'm back, it's day 2 and I feel rather homesick already. It was great being home. I got ketupat for my first meal back, imagine that. I managed to eat a good variety back home 'cause mom's been great, cousin's been kind, and by my own sheer determination :D Had the best red velvet cake when I went out with the best friends. It was almost like weird. You see, I first had red velved cake when I was in Singapore and it was so so and so I thought it wasn't something that special, but the red velvet cake I had during that dinner was really really good that it would have definitely changed my whole perception if I have had it first. It was not cheap by Indonesian standard but would be cheap by Singapore standard especially considering the serving was big. No place in Singapore would serve it in that size I think. In that dinner, I also had a really really good mushroom and truffle and cheese tagliatelle. It was really good being with the friends who I always feel put me into perspective and kinda get me. Perspective is something that I lose a lot here because I am in my head a lot.
Then being with mom is of course great that I have my worries when she finally has to be alone because unlike me and my dad - we're built to like or even crave solitude and even then I have many lonely moments - my mom is more social and even now when she's alone most of the time, I actually kinda feel sad for her, but who knows when she finally will be alone and maybe can clear out the house a bit, maybe she'll flourish? We also got to visit my dad's urn. It was sad seeing my mom still being able to cry about it, but at the same time made me feel relieved because then I'm not that crazy emotional for being able to cry about it too even now. I really treasure and appreciate these moments I get to spend with mom. She kinda does exercises every night. I hate exercises and don't do them, so at first I was like, that is insanity, but then I started to join along, though not as serious in putting the effort as her. I mean I'm still me. There was one exercise that involved running in place and I was like what the hell, why are we doing this?!?
News that occupied most of my time there was the missing son of Pak. Ridwan Kamil that a few times a day, we're like checking in, have they found his son? Even on my last morning there. Sometime my mom surprised me with the news that she actually paid attention to, like the school shooting in the US that also happened when I was there. She asked me why the lawmakers there are not doing anything about this, since it has happened a lot. Explaining the Second Amendment, the Republican party, and NRA are just too much so I just told her the politicians there are taking money from the gun manufacturers so they can't do anything about it. Anyways, spending time watching TV with mom, talking, I think that is the biggest adjustment for me being back, along with the fact I get to do nothing there and just watch TV. As I was leaving Indonesia, I thought I feel loved more back home which would sound logical, but I also mean it Indonesia as a whole and in general. In a weird way, as bad as Indonesia can be, I think I get love more back home. I guess that's why I always feel Indonesian and never anything else.
Okay, what else. Finished book 1, The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich. I am embarrassed because it's half the year (gosh time flies, right?!?) and I only finished 1 book! That is shameful. I like the book. It tells the stories of American Indians in the 50s, with a few different characters being featured. It also tells the story of the fight for survival because there's a new law being planned that may get their tribe losing their land and essentially get terminated. The history of American Indians are deep as they are the original people of America and it's really really a shame that I have no knowledge about this and it's hard for me to imagine the scenes, the people, which makes reading it feel rather incomplete. It is one of the injustice of America that the American Indians who are the original native of America becomes marginalized in this modern world. However, I guess that is the case in many other places - looking at Papua too in Indonesia.
:) eKa @ 7:30:00 PM • 0 comments
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