Monday, March 13, 2023
It's March and I only completed one book (and not even a thick one at that) which I started last year, The Netanyahus by Joshua Cohen. It tells a story of an American History professor who was the only Jew in his college who (on account of him being Jewish) was tasked to host The Netanyahus family when the father, Ben-Zion Netanyahu / the father of Benjamin Netanyahu, was being considered for a post in the college. When I first started reading this book, it read very academic for me like there were many words being used which made me think I'm not smart enough to read this. Even on some of the Jewish terms, my knowledge on this is really lacking. The Netanyahus themselves only appeared in the middle of the story and in the first part of the story there were both letter of recommendation and I guess letter of truths (I can't find a better word) which were addressed to the prof so that he could get a sense of who this Ben-Zion person is. As I was reading the letters, another thing that made me feel inadequate reading this book is my lack of knowledge about the Jewish history, Israel, Zionism and the like. It did get me to read Wikipedia a bit, but obviously it does not suffice. I felt a bit blind for not understanding completely the context of the arguments so I couldn't judge if the arguments being presented are valid. My lack of knowledge also means that I may not have my knowledge expanded after this because I do not have the foundation. Anyways, The Netanyahus themselves when they appeared in the story, wow they're like crazy rude, their sense of entitlement was astounding. This book is a fiction, but a fiction that was based on real event as mentioned in the credit page. I don't know how much dramatization has taken place in this book, but darn The Netanyahus do not look good at all in this book. It does make me think though if maybe some Indonesians would somewhat similarly impose on other Indonesians in a foreign country on account of us being Indonesian. Maybe in Singapore it's not happening much because Singapore just has a way to turn you into more closed off? I cannot explain it well. Anyways, I happen to be one who thinks fellow Indonesians especially overseas, need to be nice to each other, not be as imposing as The Netanyahus in the story, but be nice and acknowledge there's a bond just because we're from the same country, but here in Singapore I have seen Indonesians who's perhaps so ready to shed that Indonesian-ness? I know my first roommate and her friend in Singapore were annoyed at me initially when I spoke to them in English instead of Indonesian when we first met. My defence was I didn't know they were Indonesians, but I get the sentiment completely. Like, I have met a supposedly Indonesian who does not speak Indonesian to me and I take it bad, like okay you're gonna be like that, fine. The extra friendliness that I may have on account we're Indonesians, well I am not extending that to you. So who is the bad one now? I guess it's me :D
Anyways, last day of being 40 today. Oh dear. I'll spiral if I think about being older and still be in this place of life :( Isn't it weird that you're annoyed when you turn 40 and yet when you turn 41, you think damn can I just stay at 40? Either way, being in your 40s is old *sigh* Truth be told, though the age is increasing, the same fear and anxiety still haunt me. I am not getting any better in surpressing them. The other weekend, as usual so many fears came to me about something that I will be doing, I was thinking it's the same, year after year we do this and it's the same fear, why can't I be better in dealing with this? Since they're running around in my head uncontrollably, I just had to sit with the fear and it was miserable. It's been miserable because they've been coming :( When will life get easier? Is it dumb for hoping it would? I don't know. I am older but I feel I am more tortured mentally as the years come.
:) eKa @ 9:50:00 PM • 0 comments
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