Of The Bond We Made

I don't know what title I should put for this post, but perhaps the words would arrange itself by the time I finish writing. Today, I took a pretty long walk to see Mr. Italian Job. Was feeling nervous about going to the place, because the place kinda hurt my feeling. However, there was no choice, if I want to see Mr. A (let's call him that), I need to go there. So I walked and I was walking at the side of the place where I saw a certain lady that I wanted to see also. It was so great to see her there, because a few more minutes, I might have missed her. She remembers me! And that was kinda amazing because she's not really the type of person who remembers people's names but she remembers me! It was really great to see her. She said I've slimmed down Quite a lot according to her I was just happy to see her. We talked quite a bit and she needed to go and I needed to see Mr. A. Approaching the gate, a girl called me. Another person that I hope to see again. She remembers me and again I was flattered. I just didn't expect that she would remember my name and I think she was surprised too that I remember hers. It was really good talking to her, the way she said she missed me. We talked about her future plan. When we parted, she said "Hey, Ms. Eka, Happy ******* Day". Aaah, so sweet. It was her that gave me my first card and so far hers was the only one I've ever got. It was really good talking to these 2 ladies, kinda reminded me of what I had done and as much as the ending was disastrous, those 2 made me feel like I matter, like I did something good, and they way they talked to me made me feel like I'm being appreciated. I have yet to see the fairness of what happened, I may never will, but I hope I would always remember that for one brief moment, in a small space of time, someone was thankful that I was there.

Proceeded to meet Mr. A who was sitting with Nonya J when I came. It was so good to see and talk to them. Nonya J left us after a while because she needed to watch her herd. I did what I came to do which was to return Mr. A his CDs. They have been with me for more than a year and that was the length of time I saw him last. His hairstyle changed. I don't like it. I think last year style was much better. I heard that he actually had longer hair a few weeks back and just recently had it cut the way it is now. He said it was like one of the Italian player that I didn't know. In the short time we talked, I saw pictures of the kids (oh Mr, you know this makes me worry about you and they asked me about this about you!). The kids were bigger by the way, I couldn't believe that I haven't seen them in person (actually it was kinda expected since Mr. A is always busy). He also managed to make fun of Arsenal (oh well, they did lost and I'm pretty pissed about them also, why are they sucky now?!?). We talked about "general stuff". I've realized I don't really care that much about the bad thing of the place. I guess it's just out of my system. I still do not want to see a few people but I'm generally okay with whatever happening. I just wish I could be more at ease so that I could just go and see the people that I want to see. Oh yeah, an auntie actually came to me to say "Hi" because she remembers me, ain't that something? I was really flattered. Oh yeah also, Mr. A bought me green tea when I asked him to buy me drink (I did walk really far in the hot sun to see him). Green tea! I wonder if he remembers or it was just a lucky guess Anyway, I couldn't talk much to Mr. A because he actually had a rehearsal that he needed to oversee, so we said good bye. With the CDs being returned, I just felt that we lost all connection. I'm not being mean or anything but knowing how difficult it was to just meet up even when I had the reason to, it just would be so much more difficult to meet up just to catch up. We couldn't even do it when the Mr came. So could it be the last time I see Mr. A? I might be. It's okay, I feel I've said my peace to Mr A. I know that both of us wish the best of things for each other. I was sitting on the bus to go home and things just came to my head, of the place, of the people, of the bond I made. The place did give me something and for all the bad things that happened, there were moments when I felt so thankful to God and really felt that God was there because He gave me all these wonderful people. I remembered the way Mr. A stood by me when I was broken, the talk near the church about life and how he genuinely wished for all the best thing for me and how he comforted me. He always thinks I'm cool and good. As I write this (don't get jealous Mr), I also got reminded of you and the Mrs who were there though far all of you were. You guys were listening to me and I could feel the concern. I would always be thankful to you guys. It seriously amazes me that at that time God gave me all of you, not just the 2 of you but there were some others who really really sincerely cared about me. I could get through it really because of you guys. Hiks...If you feel it's touching well know that I am in debt to all of you.

On more recent things. The Mr had a strong opinion about someone in my environment. So strongly that when we talked about it, he would give bad comments. At first, I didn't really take his side but now I begin to see that in some ways he was right and I had done many wrong things when I was blinded. I feel I had been unfair to someone. It's really sad because I really miss this someone now. On some things, I could only share it with this person and there were times when I didn't treat this person fairly. Anyway, back to the person whom the Mr had very strong opinion on. I was actually thinking of just be nicer to this person. I hadn't had the time to go through about it with the Mr, but the thought came because the Mr and Mr. A are really nice to me. I don't know why but they are and since they can do it for reason I'm sure they also don't understand, I suppose I can do it to this person. However, today make me realize that I just perhaps could not do it. Me being nice would get me things that are not the right thing for me to have. There's a reason, a whole logical explanation (at least according to me and the Mr) why I do what I do, why I choose what I choose, and I need to remember that. I can not go back to that path until I know that I'm really not hoping for anything in return.

This post has been quite encrypted, hasn't it? I'm so sorry. Such things perhaps are not supposed to be written here but I wanted to. A treat for the Mr because he can understand it while noone else can

:) eKa @ 8:19:00 PM • 0 comments

"That's All!"

Today is Saturday, started off pretty bad (in my opinion). Gosh, I wonder if I should continue with what I have been doing. Seriously I don't feel worthy enough. I should try harder? *sigH* Met a certain someone that we had been hoping to see. Kinda different from what we expected but seemed pretty bubbly and perky, so I guess that's where the charm is. Oh how love is interesting

Had a ramen lunch with the Nachos. Gave the ramen boy all the things that I had been keeping for him. Ramen is not really my kind of food. The fried oyster that I had was interesting because I just didn't get how the tiny oysters turned into those big lumps. They tasted adequate, but I think the lovely oysters could taste better.

After lunch, we went to watch The Devil Wears Prada. Go to June 2006 archive to find out what I think about the book. Basically I wrote only a few lines for it because the book didn't have much to tell. I was wondering how the movie was gonna survive. After watching the movie, I don't think it really survived. I think it just barely made it, or perhaps didn't really make it at all. But by watching the movie, at least I found out how on earth they managed to craft a movie out of the book. Basically they just changed the whole thing. I think the movie is more of taking the characters from the book and making a whole new story for them. Meryl Streep played the devil in Prada, Miranda Priestley. First of all, I think it's just too easy for them to style her hair like Cruella de Vil. You straight away kinda get the feeling that she's the bad person just because of the hair. I think she's not really that evil as Miranda. In the book, not much human emotion was shown from Miranda but in the movie, there were a few moment, but again they did change the whole story line. Anne Hathaway is of course pretty, I think she has really big eyes. Her boyfriend, oh dear I want to complain! They changed his name and his job, making him some kind of loser. But I still like Adrian Grenier who played the boyfriend, though I think he should really shave. The other guy, Christian, was not that handsome. I actually kinda pictured that Nate Berkus (know him just because he appeared in Oprah) would be physically the right person to play Christian Other things to say? The drama towards the end of the movie was much better than the book because of all the bitchy and working politic things. However the part where Andrea quit, the book was much better because I feel it had more punch Okay, that's all about the movie.

I finally have my glasses today. I actually wrote about this but didn't get it posted, so here's an extract about my glasses. So Tuesday night, I was getting ready to brush my teeth and so I got up and lo and behold, my left lens just dropped from my glasses, to the floor and broke. The last time my glasses broke was in April and so it was happening again. I couldn't believe I was still stunned and in disbelief because hello Eka, unlucky things happen to you, remember? Live with it! So I went to Pauline (the optician), she's so nice that I feel I need to be on first name basis here In a matter of minutes, I chose 1 frame that I think I like. I didn't really care, I just chose one which looked interesting, though I can't really say it looked interesting on me. I think deep down inside Pauline was surprised with my ignorance. It cost me around S$100 plus. Wanted to say damn! and complain because I needed to spend that much money but after 2 days of sticking with my contact lens, I'm just happy I have glasses now.

Not really having a good week, but again since unlucky things happen to me, I suppose I shouldn't be surprise and just get through with it. Along with the unposted writing about the glasses, I also wrote (cursed is a more appropriate word) about an ass. Felt pretty lonely when the ass bullied me this week. I keep on reminding myself since for some time now that I should trust noone. I just feel that I am the only person who can be there for me. So no matter if people said that they would be there, in truth is that they are maybe not available and what right do we have to demand that they really be there for us, because it is a blessing to receive and you can't demand blessing. I guess people would also feel bored and frustrated hearing me complain all the time. At one point, I even felt that the Mr was gone to avoid hearing me. Again, it's perhaps my acute paranoia, but I don't think it's beyond him Be in good health people. I am happy if you are happy (Seriously! Not trying to be cheesy here). I just want to be happy and in peace. If I don't get it, I hope you do. Take care okay. I really really really hope that things are good in your side of the world. That's all.

:) eKa @ 8:28:00 PM • 0 comments

The Quiet Me

I was contemplating if I should write today or tomorrow. Then I thought today because I would most probably have forgotten all the things that I want to write tomorrow. However, sitting here, I just realize that I don't have much to say (why bother writing then you may ask). I think my head is just not having its creative days and of course my emotional state is still in shambles.

Had my Saturday. I used to be excited and anxious about this but for today I was anxious in a negative way and was kinda dreading it. I don't like being dumb and weak, and I suppose that role kinda falls on me now A brasiliano asked me why I was so quiet. Well dude, I suppose I am quiet in front of people that are not that really really close to me and basically because I have nothing to say and for the things I could have said, I just didn't want to or I had no words to say it. Back to the quiet part. You may disagree but I am. These days, in everything I can link it back to my childhood upbringing. In light of the previous post in which I had bad news, well when I was young, I was pretty successful and all in school, so I can't really deal with failure. I had many over the years, but I still get depressed when it happen In the quiet part of me, the first day of school in my life was spent with my cousin. We sticked together for 5 years perhaps, before we got separated and hence why I think I never had to try to open up and make friends. What's the point in telling you this? I guess there's no point. I suppose I'm just venting out my feeling of being helpless on my Saturday. I don't want to dread it but I am, so that's a real bummer.

Went to Popular the bookshop today and saw that they package The Kite Runner and Tuesdays with Morrie for S$29.95. I kinda couldn't believe it. I kinda want to get it, not because I need Tuesdays with Morrie because Vivy is gonna lend me, perhaps I can give it to someone and I have been thinking of getting this to someone. The Kite Runner seems interesting and it's because I remembered what the Mr said a year ago. Saw someone read it in the train also recently. I guess I'm just bored, no, restless to be more exact that I had lots of these stupid impulses that I shouldn't follow. I failed to contain myself of course because for the whole day, I have been intoxicating myself with junk. I'm so gonna get sick.

I thought I was gonna write about something that the Mr and me talked about but I couldn't really do it. You can't let go if you still talk about it, I suppose I just realize how full my laptop harddisk is. It's kinda surprising, I didn't expect it. Oh yeah, I should write, 1 week on and Daisy is doing really good. She didn't give me any problem. If only I had known her problem long ago, I could have saved her from all the pushing I did. Hopefully, I don't damage her much. Oh yeah, an Italiana said over and over again to me today how lovely the Indonesian islands that she visited a week ago. I kinda felt really good about it. I'm glad she and her family had a lovely time. Okay...gotta go now. Hope you are having better days peeps. Aaaargghhh! Thinking about days, I know mine are gonna be sucky. Damn!

:) eKa @ 10:28:00 PM • 0 comments

Happy Independence Day My Fellow Indonesian

Today is Indonesia Independence Day. I was wearing red to mark the occasion. 61 years old. Don't want to say much about this day, just hope that all the Indonesian out there all around the world remember where they once came from. I'm really happy that I'm an Indonesian. I actually kinda forget about today. I woke up and an sms from my mom that she sent yesterday night was showing on my phone. She's saying that she's not gonna work today which made me rather confused. Then I remembered that today is Independence day, so it seems like she took a break and most probably had barbecue at my uncle's place.

Today is in a way independence day for me too. Would be all alone for a few days. When I first found out a bit it, surprisingly I was a bit afraid but I'm now back in my usual excited self on the idea of being alone. However the freedom didn't start on a high note but things could always get better. I have my strawberry gelato tub next to me and oh God it tastes so fattening. I wonder how fat I could get in just a few days. It's okay, I think I need the treat. I kinda would like to believe that God is giving me this time off so that I could be a bit crazy and wild and find myself. I do need to because...

On Tuesday night I had a call and it was bad news. I called Ms. J straight away after that, and tears dropped. However she was having dinner with her family, so we decided that we would talk later. I took a bath but I couldn't really cry more. I got online and the first thing I did was send a mail to the Mr. After that I sent a mail to Ms. J and friends. I guess my sadness and upsetness was accumulating from when I wrote the mail to the Mr to when I wrote the mail to Ms. J and friends. As the letter got longer, I began to sob like mad. I was crying really bad at that time, I couldn't really remember when was the last time I cried so heavily. My thought went to this moment. Thank God the Tuesday break down wasn't as bad as that moment. I didn't write about it last time, but the next day of that moment, Mr. Italian Job actually tried to fix things for me. It was really unexpected, I didn't think it was necessary but he did it anyway and the fact that he did it was really comforting. I think at that time the Mr said Mr Italian Job would do what he thought was right and he could take care of himself. Yeah, the Mr was right. I guess age does make a huge difference and I suppose we need to wait for boys to turn into gentlemen

Anyway, I would like to say thank you to everyone who really tried to make me feel better because of what happened on Tuesday, to the Mr (I wonder if you know how thankful I am for your prompt response all this time), to Ms. J and to everyone. Thank you to the girl (you know who you are) who offered to pray for me. I wanted to say "yes" but I was feeling a bit weird. I was really thankful that I got to talk to you on Wednesday. Talked to my dad last night because mom was having dinner with our neighborhood chief. I'm not really close to my dad and we rarely talk. He asked me how I was and so I told him what happened. Like that moment a year ago, my dad didn't scold me, which was unexpected (because my dad is pretty tough). He was quite comforting actually. He said that these things were common and life couldn't be all smooth sailing. He's right but when you look at your parent and see how they manage to do it all, you do get to wonder if they ever feel the desperation and frustration that you often feel. Again, I guess it comes with age, how you can, not show all the frustration you have. I really have to tough it up. The fact that God hasn't delivered me from where I am means that there are still things that I need to learn or do. I'm still tense people. I just don't want to be caught off guard. I'm trying to be more positive because I guess it wouldn't be fair for all of you who care about my well-being

Today as usual I had a talk with the Mr. Oh dear, his good news made me feel so sad. It is so weird that I should feel sad because it don't really change anything, however legally being disconnected from the Mr is just really sad for me. Turns out after all the so many people I've met, the Mr was still the closest one in a particular environment Obviously because even the bonding which I thought would stay for a long time is not that strong anymore. I am wondering if there is even such a bond now. Oh well. Anyway so I was telling the Mr something. I told the same thing to a younger person. The Mr and my reaction was similar *high five Mr* but the younger person was different. I couldn't help feeling the naivety in that younger person Maybe I am getting mature? Maybe I am walking to that older side? Maybe I am seeing the world in a different way? Or have the Mr influences me way too much? I guess I'm just becoming more realistic? We (well at least me) had quite a laugh this morning discussing many things, so the Mr did make my morning better after he dropped the bomb. You know Mr, I know that you will be happy if I am happy It's an inside joke, people

Just now I stopped writing because I was watching the Singapore Idol result. I feel I need to write about this (hopefully it does not raise any debate like my Rag post). Anyways, when the competition started, I like Joakim. I thought his group performance was different and I thought it could bring something new to the show. Plus, I really like the way he looks. However, going to the 3rd spectacular, I was ready to see him go because obviously he's not a strong singer compared to the rest. Lo and behold people, he's still in the competition. He had a really shock look and I think he was actually sad when the result was announced that he was safe. After all the ad on tv trying to remind (brainwash) people that Singapore Idol is a singing competition, he's still safe. Instead Mathilda was the one voted one. I could seriously feel Vivy's flame right now. Among the 3 that were standing, Jonathan, Hady, and Mathilda, I thought Jonathan was the one who was gonna go home. I kinda want to see Hady and Mathilda in the final. Alas, it's not to be. Damn surprising and I can't imagine all the comments that gonna appear in a few hours in blogs and papers tomorrow. I'm sure many people would start dismissing this show because the technically best singer is gone. Now, the point I wanted to write about this is that I think Joakim's fans should do what best for him, which is to let him go. Come on people. I would rather see him get voted out rather than him not being able to take the heat resign from the show. Let's be objective over here. The more he stays on the show, the more people gonna hate him. I believe the fans want what's best for him. Right now letting go is the best move, so that he could move on. I think he's a nice boy and I don't want to see him sad and not enjoying this whole thing. I don't think he would enjoy being on stage knowing that the majority of Singaporean hate him and think he's unworthy. Release him.

Added 180706: I just realized there were so many things that I was thinking of writing, didn't get written. I just forgot about them when I wrote the post last night. Maybe it was meant to be?

:) eKa @ 8:21:00 PM • 0 comments

Rag Day 2006

Skipped my usual Saturday thing today to went for NUS Rag Day 2006 with Vivy. Being the long-winded me, let me elaborate. Saturday thing, I was just glad to skip it because I think I need a break and I'm totally not prepared. Rag day was with Vivy and Lee Wah (I have confirmed that it's the right spelling of her name) It's maybe my last Rag Day (maybe peeps, I'm not getting my hope high). Anyways, Vivy and me stumbled into Lee Wah last year and we decided to go again together. I think we reached the track and field at around 9. We had our walk through in which I kinda felt that the floats were smaller. Oh yeah, if you do not know what Rag day is, too bad!!! I'm not gonna explain it, you better search NUS website or the NUS student union (NUSSU) site to find out about it. Okay, back to the floats were smaller, yeah I think they were, shorter too. Either the students were getting tired (I'm not using the word lazy because I know the effort put into making floats do not give room for laziness) or as Vivy pointed out, there's perhaps more restriction this year. SOC came up with a float, so that's good. However the float were reminiscence of the one that Temasek or Eusoff hall once made. A good and evil thing with the good one kills the evil one using a spear or something like that. The positioning of the creatures are just too similar. I would just put it as a typical rag thing to do. Lack of originality but they did come up with a float so good for them

The halls are of course the more interesting ones. Not knowing the theme for this year, I was kinda surprised that the halls were making transportation things. Kent Ridge Hall had a train, KE VII had a ship, I think Eusoff were making a ship too and Sheares hall had a train too (surprisingly). Lee Wah pointed out that Sheares and KR are side by side, and both of them came up with trains, so that's weird So, we had our walk through and then we tried to find seats. It was a bad experience!!! There were no seats so we just tried hard to find a good standing place and when we found a decent place, we had people sneaked through us and ended up blocking us. Being me I pushed forward and we ended up standing in front of those people and blocking their views We were there first! So good for us, though there was an auntie who kinda complained to Vivy that we were blocking her views *sigH* Auntie! Give me a break okay. So we ended up standing behind Eusoff. It was weird being there but our views were great and I could take pictures. So here you go. Let me start with the faculties, since they went first.

Goodness, the uploading part to blogger do not really work that well. Hopefully my effort wouldn't go to waste. Anyway, the faculties, I think they used really nice songs. Floats wise, well give them a break okay, I think not much people would want to do rag anyway and if they do I think most of them do it for hall and the one who do it for the Faculty most probably do not stay in the halls (which most probably make them singaporean) that means they kinda can not commit much time since they need to go home. SOC's float is the one on the top left. The rest are from other faculties, I forget which exactly. Lee Wah said that the Med students could dance better than the dentist I don't really have a favorite in the faculties. Arts did a casino theme. Science did a past-future thingy with a house (if I'm not mistaken). Bizad did a cute Japanese theme, however the float was just okay. Engine did a candy world theme, I don't get it, especially with the marshmallow man? The presentation still used a lot of good and evil storyline in them.

Now, the halls. I would say that Temasek came in a bit short this time around. I don't think they did that amazing. I personally like the one from KE VII, hence why I put more pictures from them. Oh yeah, the pictures I chose do not really represent if the floats are really that good, they are just the better ones that I have So sorry, I need to learn to take better pictures and to choose them better. Here you go:

I really like the one from KE VII, though their presentation really reminded me of Pirates of the Caribbean. During the presentation they had the sea creature that attacked the ship, I like that. They also rocked the ship and I thought it was pretty cool. Perhaps the minus point for them is that the ship was a bit small.

Now for Kent Ridge Hall. I don't think it's quite clear, but at least something for you to see. Which train do you think is cooler, Kent Ridge's or Sheares'?

Apparently the judges thought that the one from Kent Ridge was better, more originality and creativity Not trying to be mean to my own hall here but how could they decide between 2 trains that the other one was more original when it's almost a similar thing? Anyway my dear Kent Ridge Hall won a lot though the mc had a mix up in announcing the award. Best float design went to KE VII, I think they deserved it and KR won a few things. I think KR won best environmental friendly, best presentation, and most original and creative. I may be wrong, again go to the NUSSU website if you need correct information. The most wonderful thing was of course KR winning Overall Champion Oh how everyone were so happy after years of being pretty dry in awards (last year was pretty bad, I think). Overall champion! If I'm not mistaken (I may very well am) the last time KR won overall champion was during my batch in 2001, so it's 5 years later that they manage to claim it back. It's so great. I can say it's a happy thing and all but to really know what it means you really have to be a ragger or be part of the hall, when you toil and toil, cutting tetra pack and folding origami and practicing dance routine in the middle of the night after your tiring orientation day and only given less than a week to memorize the dance routine. You feel so happy that you actually want to cheer to celebrate it

So that's my rag story peeps. Saw a few people that I actually know. One of the person gave me a huge blast-from-the-past feeling that I really wanted to tell someone and it was Gaby whom I turned to. Her response was expected. Perhaps I was subconsciously expecting that kind of response and hence why I sent her the sms Anyway, as usual staying with the hall when they were cheering and all was weird so me and Vivy decided to proceed for lunch after they announced who the overall champion was. We decided to eat in YIH and we walked through Extension A and KR (now known as something else) but it would be the dear KR that I will always remember. We walked through A block. I've always wanted to come back there and see it and thank God I had the chance to do it today.

I needed to put Felis' room because it was a big part of our first year. I remember standing where I was standing when I took the picture and called her for supper or just to exchange notes. No more swing in A block, I wonder why (did they dismantle it when they moved). I wonder if Stella's stars are still on the ceiling. I actually remember how she put it up there. She used a broom. So many memories I could tell you. The days me, Stella, and Gaby spent. It was happy days really. So many many things, I wish I could remember them all. It was truly one of the funest time of my life. It's my first home in Singapore. I am thankful that God gave me good people to accompany me.

We passed B Block and D Block and we went for lunch in YIH. YIH is looking good after the renovation but there's no more chicken rice stall that I really like. So lunch was in a Japanese place in YIH. I kinda liked what I ate, but I guess I was dead hungry. After that we went to Sim Lim because I needed a new place for my daisy and it cost me S$ 70 *sigH* Luckily it fits and so far so good. I hope Daisy would really be stable now. On the bus, I found out that I lost my white access card. DAMN IT!!! I wonder how much it will cost me, S$ 35? Why should I be surprised? I should be really okay with it because as usual I am freaking unlucky. Why can't I just have a normal perfect day!!! One day, one perfect day when I can be all smile from the moment I wake up to when I sleep, please!!!

My back is aching now, but since it's already quite long, let me make it longer. Thursday I had (according to Ms. J) a downtime. Yeah, too many things and I just exploded in tears, not anyone fault really. I was just weird at that time. So weird, I wanted to just cry and yet I was praying "Please God, don't let me cry". Due to the time constraint, I couldn't cry much *sigH* Didn't came to my head that Ms. J actually had a tea break which she SHOULD use to socialize and yet she came to us. I should not have troubled her. In past tense, Vinny would be the one who first know about what happened however he was the last and he didn't know that much either. Oh well. I loved what the Mr said after I told him what happened.

One last thing, to the kids who came in here when you are not suppose to (I hope you know who you are. I hope you read up to this point). Please go away. I'm not gonna make this a PG rated thing for you all. Be silent! Read if you want to but HUSH, okay *sigH* I just want a peaceful life.

:) eKa @ 11:13:00 PM • 0 comments

Long-winded Wandering Fashion Writing

Today is Singapore's National Day. I didn't set the alarm clock last night (Well I did actually, to 10 AM) but the point is I got to sleep in. I couldn't remember when was the last time I did it (I still have to wake up early on Saturdays and I do the same thing on Sundays). I decided to first open my eyes at 08:43 am, then I slept in again and finally get my lazy bum up at around 09:53 am. Not bad, at least I didn't exceed 10 am. I do think after 10 is a bit too lazy.

So far the day has been spent with 2 movies and junk food. Watched Boys Don't Cry. Vivy got the dvd on her recent trip to the city with the biggest Chinatown in the world as well as the one with the largest gay community (I found out about this from Vivy, I wonder if the Mr had mentioned this before). Go get yourself some knowledge and found out what city this is (and you can find out where the Mr is staying). Anyways, Boys Don't Cry was kinda disturbing for me. I think because it is based on a real story. It's kinda weird and felt so wrong for me that there are people who can spend their lives getting wasted (drink and be drunk) and doing nothing important and ended up taking hostility and cursing as something normal. Why do people get into this kinda situation? I know it's happening not in America alone but in many places all over the world. Oh, I should say that it's easier to watch girls kiss each other rather than a guy kisses another guy. Anyone wanna give me an idea of why is it so? Other part of the movie which kinda felt a bit weird for me is the very blunt sex scenes (to think that at this age I should be normal with it). Should you watch it? Well, if you want to. Hillary Swank did a good job but at the end of the story, I didn't cry. Did I sympathize with her character, well...I do think that the ending is too tragic, but I can't say that I relate that much with her character's tragic end. I just didn't cry. Considering what had happened, I think I should but I didn't. Is it informative? Well, I guess you should go and watch it for the sake that this movie did get good reviews and Hillary Swank got an Oscar for her role in this movie.

The other movie that I watched is an Indonesian movie, Ungu Violet. Being here, as Vivy said, we are deprived of the latest happening in Indonesia, such as movies and music. Seriously, the Singaporean Ms. Kiera knows more about Indonesian music than me! Ungu Violet was starred by the beautiful Dian Sastrowardoyo, whom I feel was not that skinny in this movie. I wanted to say again, like I said about the movie Tentang Dia in my last post that the movie is so Indonesian. What do I mean with that? Well, the story involves someone who is terminally ill and a serious accident When the accident happened, I was shouting "Seriously?!? Seriously?!?". I thought the ending was gonna be typical but the twist (which I thought was very unlikely) did happen and for me it kinda salvaged the movie. I must admit that I did drop 1 tear (only 1, left and right eye combined) because there was some moving scene in this movie (though I can't really remember which one now). The movie showed views from the rooftop of the male character's building and it showed the mall that I often go to, Taman Anggrek, and of course that reminded me of home a lot. Talked to mom last night and just now she sent me an sms. I need to figure out where I can go. Can I just scream "aaaarrrrrrrggghhhh"?

So today, basically I do nothing. It does trouble me if you ask me. You know, I have been wasting more than half a day doing nothing. Half a day of my life doing nothing! It's freaking pathetic. I did bring this to myself, since someone did offer me lunch and I declined (if you haven't guessed it, it's because I'm anti social). Received an unexpected email today and I can not help feeling that my personal live has been intruded which make me feel doubtful in writing what I thought I would write today, which is ...

Wrote it, posted it and when I read it back, I'm just not sure about it. So I removed it. If you managed to read it, lucky you, and hush!

Okay, I am done now, back to here ... By the way, the title is a quote from here.

:) eKa @ 7:24:00 PM • 0 comments

The Lake House

Finally had the chance to watch The Lake House with Vivy today and how I love it, though if I have to analyze it objectively I may say that its content was not that strong but I love it! Maybe it's Keanu Reeves, maybe it's his character who was so nice and lovable or perhaps my stupid romantic side. I wrote stupid because I also have this part of me who is very skeptical about love. Anyways, I think Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are so compatible. It's so good to see them together, too bad it's not so in the real world. Shed a few tears during the movie, because it's so sweet. Come on, during the line "Take a walk with me" ... Geez, that's just so sweet and nice. I knew it was a happy ending because of a picture in its website and also because of what people had told me. The ending could be more touchy, I feel. However it went on to be just okay for me, that at the ending I wasn't teary eyes. Still, I just love it so much and really want to watch it again. I think it's most probably because it's Keanu Reeves. A really nice guy in Keanu's body? Who can resist it?

This week was worse than last week in many ways. It was tougher for sure, but amazingly I managed to get through it better than I expected but still it has not been a good week. So many things happened and relationships are getting worse, in which in some parts I feel sad but oh well I have chosen to be angry and pissed and unhappy. To be written off as being young with lotsa ego (basically a selfish spoilt brat) was freaking unfair. Tell me why should I care in the first place when obviously none really cares or appreciates me in a fair way. I'm wearing my precious linkin park t-shirt to comfort me (there's always comfort in Linkin Park). Reading it back, I feel I was rather too nice on Friday. Things have really gone worse in so many different areas. Had a talk with Vivy today in one of the areas and had an sms talk with Dewi yesterday about the same topic. It didn't really help much because my mind is still clouded. What have I done? I do what I think is best for my feeling and as much as I feel rather sad, I still think I should not make myself hurt more later on. Dewi understood the "why" and agreed with some of my points so I think I'm not that wrong.

Felis helped me with my Saturdays engagement. I feel really bad that I only look for her every two and a half month when I need help. I'm pretty happy that I'm still on 09:30 though it starts getting its toll on me. I really do speak really fast and it's frustrating if I can not find the words to match the speed of the sentences that I want to let out. I also realize how I love words. They are really huge parts of me because I can feel sentences keep on forming in my head eventhough I am all alone and not saying them to anyone. I just wish I can speak and write better.

I think I've actually had a lot to say but somehow I kinda forget all the things that I want to say. Watched Tentang Dia yesterday and I think the story was so Indonesian. So Indonesian! The story was the kind of short story that you can find in Indonesian teen magazines. Had merry-mint in Swensens today. Seriously not a fan of mint ice cream but I truly enjoyed it the last time I went to Swensens hence the choice to eat it again today. Okay, hope everything will be okay this coming week. No earthquake, no tsunami. Everyone deserves a good break.

:) eKa @ 8:31:00 PM • 0 comments

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