Friday, December 09, 2022
2022 Book List
Again, didn't read a lot this year, but maybe better than last year? A bit. Here's the list:
- A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles
- The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich
- A Registry of My Passage Upon the Earth by Daniel Mason
- Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart
The last one I read
Shuggie Bain was really good. Good sad, though perhaps the ending is somewhat hopeful, I don't know. The lives of the characters are harder than mine but since I'm pretty much in a depressed negative state, I relate a lot with all the isolation, sadness, and alone-ness. I guess being in that kinda state makes me unable to say if the ending is a hopeful one. The book tells the story of this young boy, Shuggie, who had to deal with an alcoholic mother all his lives. His dad was a real jerk and absent. His step siblings got out as soon as they were able to and he pretty much had to raise himself. He loved his mother so much, but an alcoholic mom is just not reliable, so he's not getting the love he wanted or needed. I can relate to that, not having the love you want or need. I think his situation is still worrying in the end, but at least he had a friend and I thought that was a comfort. I read a TV series about it is being made and I look forward to watching it. Reading the book, I am curious about Shuggie's brother, Leek. Hopefully in the TV series, he will be featured more.
How has your last month of 2022 been? I was thinking that I ended last year feeling relieved. At the end of last year, I was able to get out from such a horrendous living situation so there's a lot of relief and a sense of security. Ending this year, I just feel rather ... well in Indonesian, I would use the word galau. In English I think it's like a negative mix feeling? In some situations, I have told people we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Somehow it's not an advice that I am applying to myself. There's a lot of worry. There's a lot of prayers, asking God for help, then asking God for forgiveness because when the help came I still have a lot of worry attached to it. I know how ungrateful I am. I think it boils down to the fact that I don't want to do this anymore and be here anymore and the idea of having to just go on feel so suffocating to me. I know I have to dig my own way out, but I'm just too tired and lazy. I just want to stop.
:) eKa @ 8:56:00 PM •