Friday, February 12, 2021
In the time before, I wouldn't be here writing to you; but it's Chinese New Year in a different time, so here I am blogging. The last time I spent Chinese New Year alone in Singapore was in 2004. I wrote about it in this blog, apparently mom sent me a care package (aww!). This time we're living though, travelling is a costly hassle. So I'm here. Now if this is pandemic time and dad was still alive, I would perhaps approach it with more lonely sadness, but then dad died and since we haven't passed 1 year of his death, the family can't actually celebrate Chinese New Year and so in any case, this Chinese New Year is meant to be subdued. So I was just okay approaching it, but then restlessness can just hit you any time without warning. Yesterday morning I was okay and perhaps was rather looking forward to having the afternoon free, but then in the afternoon, I was just kinda sad restless. They say exercise can help you feel better, well it's not. I did a long walk to get to the mall to get fruit and lunch yesterday and I think the whole thing caused me to be annoyed because when I arrived in the mall, it was crowded. The flurry of people trying to get things done last minute was just ... gosh, I hate people. By the time I got to the supermarket, the staff was saying we needed to queue now because there's many people in the supermarket. I guess I should have counted myself lucky because when I got there, the queue was not that long and by the time I finished, it was snaking and queues to many different places where like combined together, it's hard to see where things ended. Anyways I got my stuff and since then I've just been in my room. I need to get out later though to find something to eat.
Someone asked me what I'm going to do this Chinese New Year. I was wary at the question because I thought the person would ask me to do something together out of pity to me. No such luck or perhaps luckily no - I am that anti-social. So anyways, I'm planning to watch The Godfather since I have never watched that and I have Amazon Prime Video on trial, but then they don't seem to have the 3rd one, so I don't know what I'm gonna do then. I have been trying to watch as much Prime Video as I can before the trial ends in a few days. Though it is cheap at S$2.99, I will not be moving forward with this. The selection is so so for me and I suspect some things are just not available here, like the latest This Is Us is not available here :( and I think some time ago I saw Sylvie's Love available, but not anymore. So I didn't manage to watch that. Back to This Is Us, how did Kevin manage to go from Vancouver to Seattle without identity check? There's no border control? If there is, he couldn't just use the same ID to get on his flight?
Anyways, so how did I get Amazon Prime? Well because I have gotten a new laptop. I wanted so much the same specs of my old Vaio but with better processing power and the closest I can get is an HP. Amazon US is selling it like S$500 cheaper than the HP store in Singapore and the HP store still doesn't have the stock (even now!), so to Amazon I went and they put me on prime trial. It was quite a journey seeing this laptop travel and it made me think of the many things are moving right now all over the world to get delivered. It's kinda crazy. This laptop's journey is as follows: Charleston (Tennessee), Louisville (Tennessee), Knoxville (Tennessee), Louisville (Kentucky), Dubai, Shenzhen, then finally Singapore. It made me feel bad about global warming and all. Anyways, so far the laptop is fast, but if only my old Vaio can just be filled with the latest processor and more RAM, I like it more. The old Vaio has CD drive and more USB ports and an SD card slot which I use for my Canon. The camera was also much better. This camera in this new laptop is just bad, I'm all fuzzy. The lack of USB port also means I may need to get a USB hub and I was surprised to learn those things can be quite expensive :( Then the new laptop battery doesn't last as long as I would have liked it. The only plus I guess aside from this laptop being fast is that it comes with a stylus pen which my old vaio doesn't have. Anyways, as I switched on this laptop today, I got reminded that I need to wipe my old laptop clean and dispose it in the e-waste bin, but I'm still procrastinating.
Hope you guys are doing well. I feel there is sadness when you are alone without your family, though you have technology to communicate. I think people, especially those who have their family living with them, often don't even register this can be an issue for us the lone wolves. Most times we are okay, we're functioning, but then there are times when yeah you feel the sad. I think all these years alone may have done some damage to me emotionally. To be a kite fluttering alone in the sky, it's ... it's a long way down to remember someone is still anchoring you.
Side note: talked to mom just now, it seemed most of the family are just staying put and not visiting. My aunt and uncle who live a few houses away just came and I'm glad to learn everyone are masking even for the short visit. I'm glad if everyone are being cautious and disciplined about this.
:) eKa @ 12:06:00 PM • 0 comments
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