Pretty Boy Christian Bautista

Been hearing Christian Bautista this week. First heard of him when I was at home last December. Saw trailer of Christian Bautista's Acoustic Special on MTV. Was pretty amazed and I thought he was Indonesian, but he's a Filipino. Was thinking of buying his album last December but then seeing his pretty face in the cover kinda made me doubtful because that would mean I'm getting it because he's a pretty boy (which is actually pretty much true). Saw him again on MTV during my Chinese new year holiday and since I couldn't really shake him out of my head (tried to download his song after I got back from my December holiday), I decided let's just get the album. The album is so typical pretty boy. Average songs sung by good average voice. The songs are heavy on the piano, but the piano parts are not as complicated and amazing as the ones from Alicia Keys or Vanessa Carlton, plus he doesn't play the piano himself. He also doesn't write his own songs. All and all, sometime I guess we just need something light and nothing complicated and this pretty boy with his pretty love songs do can make you smile, because you know you're just waiting for some pretty boy to say something like this to you:

I don't want to see you cry again
I only want to see you standing proud
Tell me where it hurts and I will ease your pain

:) eKa @ 8:06:00 PM • 0 comments

Heart-Shaped-Chocolate Mould

I am remembering the conversation that I had with my mom before going back here (Yes...I am back...Somehow I hate the word back there, should I say...I have arrived?). The conversation was about Valentine...which is today....Happy birthday to dear cousin. The conversation was about how suddenly the heart-shaped-chocolate mould sells pretty well in the market these days. So mom was asking, who give what and all. Roses must be selling pretty well today. Anyway, me who also think this "event" is pretty much about the people trying to make money rather than the love itself also share my mom's sentiment which feels that this is pretty much a waste of money. It's one thing if you are earning your own money but consider those who are in schools who are dependent on their parents' money, who are spending so much moneys for someone who most probably is not "the one". Wait! It's not because I'm so single (which is pretty much by choice actually) that I am saying this, but I guess a lot of things these days are about the money rather than the spirit itself, Christmas is the best example. Okay...maybe what I wrote is of no importance. The important thing is I miss my mom so much. I don't want to be here. This is seriously food for thought. I really have to think about this seriously. Hua....Was reading a few of my last posts...Man! I don't know how I'm gonna get through my days.

This is about Home.

1. Do not like Lufthansa. Really wish that I don't have to use that airline anymore. Arrived home on Saturday (Feb 5) safely. Then became a paparazzi for a short minute (until my mom scolded me). Yes just a few minutes touching Jakarta, my mom had scolded me which was actually truly my mistake. I was careless. If only I had been more aware, mom would have been more supportive of my paparazzi-ness. Okay, the one that I saw in the airport was actually Peterpan (who happen to be the biggest band in Indonesia right now). I didn't know it was them 'cause I actually couldn't see a thing. Asked a "mbak-mbak" who was the reporters chasing, she answered "Ariel" (sounded like Aril) whom I didn't understand initially. Only when she said Peterpan, I understood truly. So they just came back from MTV Asia Award 2005 (MTV Asia Aid) in Bangkok, winning the Best Indonesian Band award but all these reporters were only interested and asking about Ariel's sudden marriage (he made the girl 5-month pregnant) and this news were all over TV until Wednesday (I seriously doubt that Indonesian give a damn about this marriage). Their win in the MTV thing was only reported a bit, which as I recall was only been told by 1 TV station. I seriously think all these infotainment reporters in Indonesia are pretty much out of line. I can not believe that people actually can be that interested in these people lives that they need to show it over and over again and to the silliest detail. With 10 TV stations, I think you can get a dose of around 5 hours of infotainment (gossip) shows everyday (the TV stations feel that they need to have at least 1 gossip show every day). With only a few gossips on some days, the same news can last the whole week. Man! People can actually memorize every single word the celebrity said in the interview.

2. Had a day out with mom. Talked to my auntie...Nothing interesting. Did the praying on Chinese New Year eve. The family is now having 4 sets of everything. There are 4 chickens, 4 sets of seafood, 4 sets of pork meat. If each of us can be said to be in charge of finishing that 1 whole chicken and friends, Man! That is crazy. So now I had left and so had my bro and so left my poor 2 parents who have to deal with this fattening food and there will be more next year.

3. The Chinese New Year days were fun. Met people whom I have never met for a long long time. Things have changed a lot. Kids are getting bigger than me. The next-door neighbours kids whom I played with when they were toddler are growing and (I seriously think) will be taller than me. The most interesting one is Kevin's younger bro whose name is Keanu The parents are so fun to name their kid Keanu I don't think those kids remember me. I saw them when they were 0, fast forward 10+ years and now they are so big.

4. I got AngPaos for Chinese new year Was really looking forward for this, so was really happy to be getting it though in the end I gave it all to mom (after spending some part of it). Well...None of them gave me singapore dollars. That doesn't mean that I am not thankful, I am. I was so happy to be getting all those AngPaos

5. Met my mom's older sis and her very young granddaughters, cute kids. Just realize that things are so expensive in Indonesia now. The playgroup fee for one of them is nearly as much as my high school fee (when I was in high school, around 6 years ago) and she only gets to go to the playgroup about twice a week and that is not even in Jakarta. That's just crazy. My cousin's school fee (in a private school) for a month is more that half a million rupiah. I am flabbergasted. With an average income, I don't know how parents survive. You really have to start saving since the kids are young so that you can afford their education and pray to God that they have reasonable lifestyle (imagine funding entertainment money: handphone, movies, trip to the mall, etc) and kids these days need entertainment money. Nuts!

6. Met with the girls for dinner on the same place, Eaton. Man! The girls really have bullied all the waiters there but then actually their request (Dewi's request to be exact) is quite reasonable. They really made me laugh. Love those girls. Had conversation about life and other things. Was really surprised when I made a statement and Marlisa said "So True!!!". We were talking about how we are waiting for the days to end. Then I said how sad it was to be hoping for the day to end quickly and to quickly move on to tomorrow just because we can't really stand today. It is sad because life is precious and every single day is precious, a blessing from God. It is sad but we can't help feeling it. I wish we can get up every morning feeling excited and so thankful that we are alive. I wish every day there is something to look forward to, to make us smile. I wish we can go to sleep feeling satisfied with today and with hope for tomorrow, instead of dreading tomorrow. I hope we can have the same feeling for every single day in the week, instead of dreading some days and embracing another and hate for it to end. I wish...that is it, I wish. I fear I will never have those feeling or have those days to enjoy. I am so sorry God.

7. I can't say much about home. It rained a lot on the last few days I was there. It was nice. The food is nice, so nice not having to think about what to eat that day. It was a week and the days seemed to be going slowly and I kinda like it. It gave much satisfaction about going home. Global TV with less MTV sucks! But MTV Indonesia itself is getting less fun now. Had tears when I left for Singapore, which reminded me of how when I was young I used to stay over at my aunt and uncle's house (they didn't have any kids then). On the early visits, I wouldn't cry and would enjoy myself truly. Then as we did it more often, I started to cry there. That's when I stopped staying over at their house. Maybe it's the same thing now, maybe it's time to stop staying over at other people's country. My mom said that I sounded like a kid. As much as I hate to admit it, I think she is so true.

8. Maybe God was trying to talk to me last night. So in the plane, there were only 3 seats in my row. I took the window seat, then there was a guy who looked so much younger than me next to me, and next to him there was this lady who was coughing quite a lot. None of us stroke a conversation. Until the plane landed this guy stroke a conversation with the lady. I wasn't part of the conversation but I heard their conversation. From what I heard the guy is my age and he had to have operation every 2 or 3 months because of the tumor in his eyes (this have been going on for 4 years). He used to study or perhaps stayed in Delaware, USA, but because of his sickness he moved back to Jakarta. He had an exciting life ahead of him and yet all crumble because of this. Still, he seemed like a nice guy. He looked so young. So the moral of the story is as what my mom said: It's okay to be poor, as long as you have your health. Really, that's the moral of the story and also for my case, I think I should just stop whining, I am so fine and I should be damn happy about it.

9. Received an sms from Rista when I landed. Should have called her when I was in Indonesia. Man! That girl is damn tough. She has got a job for Freeport and the amazing thing is she has to go all the way there to Papua (the province formerly known as Irian Jaya). Man! I don't think I can do it but she will do it. I am so amazed by her. She's tough!!! If you are not Indonesian you may not understand why this is so awesome. I really wish I can get to meet her someday. It's been years.

Alrighty, that's about it folks. I miss my mom so much. I think she loves her dad so much *sigH* I am so lost in my life.

:) eKa @ 4:32:00 PM • 0 comments

Disappear from the Face of Earth

What constitutes the earth? What defines it? Is it the whole round thing, the land + the sea? Is it only it? How about the atmosphere? The clouds? Are they part of the Earth? In one of the meaningless conversations over lunch this week I was telling this people that I will be gone. One person said: Gone would mean you disappear from the face of the earth. I said: Yeah, I would not be on earth, I would be in the sky up there (in a plane). That doesn't count as being gone from the face of the Earth, does it? I wish it could, but maybe one day when I can get to travel to the outer space. Maybe then, I can claim that I disappear from the face of the Earth.

I am...Will be gone from this city for a week, which is actually a very short time, only 100+ hours. Will be going home again for Chinese New Year. I am so excited, but because of the stupid things which have been happening since I came back last time, I kinda don't have much energy to show that I'm thrilled about going home. I am. I really am. 4 years not spending Chinese New Year with the family itself makes this trip so highly anticipated by many. Not just me, but also my family. I know that things are not the same anymore. It's not the Chinese New Year the way I remembered it when I was growing up. There are certain people that I don't get to see anymore but still there are some that I do get to see. Let's just be happy with that. Be happy that we can still celebrate it with the family event though its shrinking. So I'm hyped, I'm so looking forward to this and how I wish I don't have to come back here again.

When I came back to Singapore earlier this year, everything become bearable because I know within 1 month time I will be back home. But after next week, when I come back here again, there's no sight of home in the near future. I can see me being more depressed than I am now. Irony...There are people who are nice to me but at the same I'm facing all these things that I could not stand anymore. It's just...I feel torn, dillemmatic...and maybe it boils down to being afraid to just walk out.

*sigH* Let's not think of it anymore. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna talk to people who gonna make feel at ease. Then I can see things clearly and be strong in whatever it is that God wants me to face. On another sad note. I did something really bad. I think it's because of my carelessness. Hopefully it can still be saved, otherwise I'll be too embarrassed to face someone.

Okay...Take care people. Happy Chinese New Year

:) eKa @ 2:00:00 PM • 0 comments

Finding Neverland

Went to watch Finding Neverland yesterday, but sadly was a bit late for it. Anyway, I love the movie. I love Johnny Depp. I like the way the story picture his character. It must be so magical if you can see things in a different way, everything it's like an adventure. I also love the cinematography. The colour is vivid and I love that. Johnny Depp did a good job but not actually amazingly great, I guess it's also because his character doesn't have much depth. So compared to Leonardo in the Aviator, I still think Leo is much better. One person that captivated me more is the boy who played Peter, who inspired the Peterpan character. My goodness, this soft-spoken skiny small boy with a very big green eyes, you just want to hug him, especially since he has the most emotional part in the movie. He's awesome.

Okay, need to go, by the way last Saturday I also managed to go to Kinokuniya and managed to read Coelho's Warrior of the Light a bit. Good book and I can kinda relate to it. Okay, really need to go, take care you all.

Just a bit of silliness, really.

:) eKa @ 3:22:00 PM • 0 comments