Saturday, November 25, 2023

Gadis Kretek + Election Thoughts

Gadis Kretek is this Indonesian miniseries on Netflix. The English title is Cigarette Girl. I saw the poster, but wasn't sure if I should watch it. Then when I met my cousin back home and she said she liked it, I thought I should give it a try. It is pretty good and I enjoyed it. It tells the story of this girl whose father owned a kretek factory back in the 60s. The girl's foremost dream was to be somebody who could create a blend for this type of cigarette. Then she met a guy who saw that she's amazing in her own rights, they fell in love, but they did not end up together and the episodes are about unraveling what happened to this girl. I like the different sources that fill in the gaps about what happened to this girl. Toward the last episode, I was pretty much done with the love story though. I'm not sold on the guy. I did have little tears at the ending when I saw the girl's little sister finally reunited and reconciled with her best friend. That kinda warmed my heart. There's a lot of smoking in this series and I wonder if it makes smokers watching this curious about smoking a kretek which as I understand it, is more heavily flavoured. I watched this with Indonesian subtitle because there are some Javanese dialogues and I wanted to understand everything. I was kinda impressed with one of actress who's not Javanese but in my ears sounded very Javanese. I also became quite picky in listening the dialogues and the word that got me is "nggak" which means no or not in English. I don't know if the Javanese in the 60s already used "nggak" but I heard that, so that's a bit weird for me. It's kinda really nice being an Indonesian watching this because knowing certain events or the Indonesian way of thinking or doing things made me feel like I understand this more deeply. Conversely I wonder if non-Indonesians will understand things like how grave the political situation was back in the 60s that truly changed many people lives. Other things that I like are the songs. My cousin said the theme song will stay with you and she's right :)

Now on to Indonesian election next year, it's the thing that filled the news back home aside from the situation in Gaza. I have a lot of thoughts. For the presidential election, I think there's only one correct answer. However seeing the survey polls, it's quite scary. Polling on election in Indonesia is quite accurate so this early indication worries me a lot. Sometime it feels so weird to me that there are still people voting for people who I think have no quality at all and questionable characters, but there are those people. On one conversation in my house, my aunt was saying don't speak too loud, there are many people in this area supporting who I feel is the weakest candidate. All the presidential candidates and parties seem confident on getting the job done in one round, but I think they're not realistic at all. Disappointment on our current president's sons are of course plentiful and warranted. That famous line in the TV series, Succession is so apt for these people, they are not serious people. One time I was there, me and my family went to the temple to visit my dad's urn and on the way there's a big poster of the party that President Jokowi's youngest son magically got chosen as the leader. His pose in there is so not serious that I just rolled my eyes. It wasn't the worst though. On my way to the airport, I realized there's another big poster of his party in my area with him holding a teddy bear. I almost blurted out loud, what the fuck?!?! I have nothing against young people. In fact I voted for that party in the last election. When I told my family this, my mom was like, why did you do that?!? But my cousin apparently did the same. That party also had a lot of voters among the Indonesians here in Singapore. So us young people perhaps had hope in this young party filled with young people who are perhaps more tolerant, more open, but I guess I am damn wrong. I don't know what this party is all about. Can you imagine in this world there are young people leading climate change protests and movement, young people in America demanding gun reforms, and here somehow the people that be think that this guy who has no vision, no public service achievement or even attempt, who thinks yeah it's cute and okay to pose with a teddy bear for a party poster, this guy is the right guy to lead a party. WHAT??!?! ARE YOU INSANE? Yes this party is small and does not matter, but how are we to take them seriously and give them a chance and vote for them if they don't take themselves seriously. It's infuriating how low they stoop and for what. I am really curious to see how many votes they're going to get. I hope they'll get decimated.

Then President Jokowi's eldest son - sigh. Of all of his kids, this was the one who surprised me most. His youngest son not so much, because he doesn't mind the media and throughout his dad's presidency does like to appear all over. When President Obama came for a personal visit and visited President Jokowi, this youngest son was sure to be there too. But his eldest son was different. Early in President Jokowi's presidency, he didn't seem enthused with all the hype and kept a low profile. He pretty much just moved about like a commoner which we the people appreciated. So his rise to now becoming vice presidential candidate is just mind boggling to me. Does he really want this or he was directed to? The circumstance that allowed him to be eligible to run as vice presidential candidate has been discussed and dissected ad nauseam which make us nauseous ourselves hearing it, so not gonna add more to that. My thing is his lack of self-reflection or humility that really makes me question his character. There is nothing fair about his candidacy. There are many mayors in Indonesia and I am sure there are mayors who do a good job, but were there consideration for them? It's precisely because he's the president's son he gets the spotlight. He should have understood that and asked himself if this is fair. Even his dad didn't get from mayor straight to presidential candidate. This son hasn't even completed one term as mayor. So the fact that he himself didn't say it's not for me or not my time now, that really puts his character in question. If he's meant to bring the young people votes, I don't know which demographic that is. Who can relate to this guy? If you're struggling to get a job, applying for many posts but don't even get an interview, how can you endorse someone who gets ahead clearly by familial connection and accepts it. The only people who could relate to him are perhaps like another ex-president's son whose party is now endorsing him. Geez, I actually now feel a bit sorry for President Yudhoyono's son who tried so hard but gets nothing. One last note about President Jokowi's eldest son. He seems to often deflect or refuse to answers questions asked by reporters. Granted some questions perhaps are not the point or important or annoying, but considering the post he's applying to, I feel he should answer. The people are entitled to know his thinking or reasoning. If this is something he's gonna keep doing while in power then what will that look like? We can never get answer on questions he doesn't like and we just have to accept their policies? Fuck that. I hope I can watch all the debates. With the time difference, often times I couldn't watch until the end.

The election feels early for me, being held in February. I actually gonna be home at that time. I was excited about the possibility of actually voting back home, something I haven't done since my first election in 1999, but I think I may have to just give it a miss and vote as before in Singapore. I'm not registered to vote in my neigbhourhood which is as it should be since I don't live there most of the time. I could still go and vote by bringing my ID card between 12:00-13:00, the time allocated for cases like mine, but that's also provided they still have spare voting papers. That part is the risky part for me. It's perhaps silly that I put so much thoughts on voting when there are many people in my world who don't care much, but I read world affairs news, I read about politics and elections all over the world, so I like to think I am more informed and there are many shitty leaders out there, so it's important to get the correct one. The candidates are all of course far from perfect, but there is the least scary and that's the correct answer.

What else from home? Home was okay I guess. Maybe not okay. Kinda had a breakdown one night I was there that I cried badly when I was going to sleep and spent the next day still sad. I really have issues and really lost in life and I would rather leave it at that and not gonna elaborate more. Coming back to Singapore, I was in a state of dread due to something that I had to do that I prayed for outrageous things like can a meteor strike the place or something, which of course didn't happen and I had to go through it anyway. After it was done, a huge relief washed over me that I could actually get excited about things like eating KFC. Truly, freaking anxiety can really dull any excitement that you may have about things, like things may not feel or taste as good :( That being said the pessimistic and overly fearful me cannot just be in a longer state of bliss because just as quick there's the thought this may not be over yet, like a zombie it can rise from the dead, in fact they're not in a zombie state yet because it's not necessarily dead yet. I wish I can be more hopeful and be more chill, but I am not. My cousin said she also has anxiety and her sister would tell her why worry about things that have not or may not happen. I am filled with all sorts of thoughts that if I really lay it all out and say it out loud, I wouldn't be able to get through it because I would cry. My emotional state is weird. If I think about December coming and how it's the last month of the year which means another year of being older, I would freak out, but at the same time I'm like holding on to a hope that it'll be a cool calm quiet somewhat peaceful December. This sliver of hope is a rarity that I somewhat feel need to be celebrated considering it's the pessimistic me who's having it. One thing for sure though, January is gonna be a bitch :( See I just have way too much worry :(

:) eKa @ 11:10:00 AM • 0 comments