Sunday, October 21, 2018
I went home last weekend. Spent a few days until Wednesday. It was good, sat myself silly in front of the tv, did things with mom. Mom cooked things. She even made the chicken soup I adore twice. Though short, it was a good break, much needed especially if you have been reading the posts in these past months. Mom been saying that I should just go home whenever there's small pocket of breaks or a long weekend, especially since I get stuck in my head so much and be all sad and depressed. The thing is I have class on a Saturday so that pretty much makes it hard for me to go, but last weekend there's a break and off I went. While being at home is good, since I was unproductive, there's nothing much to say really. It was insanely - I'm gonna faint - hot. I watched tv, I ate. Basically that's all.
What's more interesting was perhaps the plane right back to Singapore. The plane wasn't that full and in my row there's just me and a guy from the UK. Somehow we started talking and I thought it would just be small talk, but it turned out to be quite a lengthy conversation that took place most of the flight. I can't say I enjoyed it much because I just wanted to be quiet, but he kept on talking so I tried to be polite. I was thinking perhaps he has not been talking English much and having the opportunity to talk to someone who could understand him, well it's like a release. So this is his story.
He's going to Singapore because on a tourist visa you can only stay in Indonesia for 30 days and he's kinda permanently in Indonesia right now because he's engaged to an Indonesian lady. He showed me his engagement ring, don't ask me how come a guy has an engagement ring, I don't know, maybe it's some sort of weird uncommon Indonesian thing? At this point, if you're thinking TLC's 90 Day Fiancé
, so was I. I was like, good God!!! Pretty much the reaction I got every time I caught parts of TLC's 90 Day Fiancé
. Why do those people do that? They get paid to be on the show right, how much do you think they get to air their stupidity and insanity? Are there any successful couple from that show? Anyways this guy, he's been making the trip to Singapore twice now, in which he just stays the night and returns to Indonesia the next day and restart his entry from day 1 again. I was thinking who this lady is and in my head I just assumed she's a muslim and this guy would have to convert, all the while also thinking perhaps he's already a muslim. He told me that he just has a conviction in his heart hence he's willing to do all this, the kind of talk that religious people do. Unsurprisingly he met the girl from the Internet. I asked how long the process was, thinking maybe a year since they first met on the Internet. He said it's very fast. Shockingly fast for me. They like talked for a week or so, then the girl asked his intention and if he would be interested in marriage. He talked about it with God and then he flew to Indonesia and once arrived, it went so well that they're like okay let's do this. He's been in Indonesia for 2 months now. Are you rolling your eyes? I was though not visibly at that time.
After much talk, I found out that he's a Christian and the girl is too and it was a Christian dating site. Indonesia's bureaucracy is a nightmare, a real bureaucrazy so to speak. To get a permanent resident status, the paper work is just hard and to get married, they need to go through the Church counselling thing and both have to attend the church for 6 months at least. The guy apparently has been doing evangelizing works and feels strongly that this is from God. It feels perfect for him. They're both from the same denomination and I guess they value the same thing. Both have had histories of fail relationships; the lady had a 9-year relationship with another caucasian that didn't work out; he had fail relationship with a Philippina lady previously. I wonder if he sensed my apprehension and hence felt the need to fill in more blanks for me, somewhat to convince me or to perhaps evangelize as well in the process that God works in wondrous ways. I don't know, I really just wanted be quiet with my own thoughts. Many times I wanted to respond with, praise be
, but I wonder if it would sound rude and I managed to keep my tongue. Well you would understand why it can sound rude if you watch The Handmaid's Tale
in which the phrase is often said sarcastically or in mockery by the handmaids. It is sad though that such nice phrase now also has a bad connotation.
Being someone without love since like forever, I was surprised I wasn't a hopeless romantic and rooting for their magical or perhaps in his words, blessed relationship. By the end of the flight, I can't say that I'm like convinced that they are meant to be. I just don't know. However as a believer in God, if they are to have a chance to really work, then it must be because of God. That's the only possible reason. So if as he said he heard God, then perhaps this could actually work out. I don't know how one hears God. It works differently for different people I guess. I just wonder how you can be sure it's God and not just your irrational head telling you things. The guy said God answered him by posing another question. I guess if you have a close relationship with God, then you hear Him better. I'm not that close I guess. I obviously sin quite a lot. You know now that I am back in Singapore, it's so fast, perhaps within hours that I felt the despair, the restlessness, the wanting to leave. That guy is brave to uproot himself to a totally different country and as much as I pray to exit this life, I do wonder that I am perhaps not that brave to just leave and take the leap to the unknown. At the end of the flight I said good luck to the guy. He said it's better not say luck, because there's good and bad luck and it's like it's by chance. It's better to say, God bless. Yeah he's that kind of Christian. May God bless him and the lady. May God bless you and I hope God bless me with understanding and strength.
:) eKa @ 12:46:00 PM •