Christmas 2013

Hello guys, how has Christmas been for you? I think I ate way too much. Met up with la Gioia for a christmas lunch and it was great to do so. I didn't feel so pathetically alone on the most wonderful time of the year. We went to Jamie Oliver's restaurant here, Jamie's Italian. I hadn't been to VivoCity for a really long time and some things have really changed. It was a hit and miss in Jamie's Italian. At first we ordered the small portion, but darn it was seriously small. So we ended up ordering another smaller portions for ourselves and we also had desserts and also shared a bruschetta. Overall it all totaled up to be quite expensive :( but I wasn't feeling full :P Though it wasn't Jamie Oliver who was cooking, it was interesting to see what kind of food he makes and how they taste. My vongole tagliolini was great, I love it though la Gioia thought it was on the salty side. For my second meal, I had prawn linguine and that for real was extremely salty. My panna cotta was great though. Will I go again? Perhaps, but I guess for now curiosity is fulfilled.

So yesterday evening, I decided to watch The Act of Killing which I accidentally stumbled into some weeks ago. I forget what I was googling at the time that caused me to end up to this. It's a documentary about the people who committed countless, hundreds of murder of people suspected to be communist during the communism purge in Indonesia in 1965. Before the bloody reformation period in Indonesia in 1998, Indonesian tv actually had to show a propaganda film every year about how the communists were evil and how the military at the time led by Soeharto managed to eradicate them all. That basically gave credence for him to assume power as President. I personally have never watched the film because it's scary and I could never (still cannot) watch any scary movies. I would end up not being able to sleep and had to go sleep with my parents in the middle of the night. I remember a school trip to Lubang Buaya, where the bodies of important military generals allegedly killed by the communist were dumped, gave me nightmares for 2-3 days. So anyway, after 1998 and President Soeharto resigned, all things started to surface in Indonesia, including about a different version how 1965 went down. There's some conspiracy theory like how the CIA basically supported the coup by President Soeharto at that time. So instead of a coup by the communist, it was a coup by Soeharto with American backing. I guess America didn't want to see more countries becoming communists, especially with Vietnam war already in their hands. Was our President Soekarno at that time intent on making us a communist country? My history knowledge is not that deep to answer that. Perhaps he just felt the west was pretty arrogant and so he wasn't friendly to them. Anyway back to the documentary, The Act of Killing, the maker was curious when he met these killers that they were proud and not remorseful about what they did. So he asked if they would like to do a reenactment of what they did for a movie in whatever style and genre they would like. Their ideas were pretty funky. At 2.5 hours, it's pretty long. It seems that if you're in Indonesia, you can download this movie for free from their website. I watched the International version though with English subtitle which I thought wasn't precise at some parts. I think they should have just kept the word "preman" instead of translating them to "gangster", that would make the connection to "free man" more easily understood. That was the first time I heard of that actually. Anyway, this documentary is critically acclaimed and has won many awards. It's pretty draining mentally. As an Indonesian watching it, what I felt was anger and sadness and more anger, basically a lot of anger. Not to what happened in the past (why I was even slightly sympathetic to one of the killers when he felt tormented towards the end of the documentary), but more into how corrupts and morally rotten the people in power are. I was boiling mad seeing the Chinese vendors in the market being harassed for money and this is their reality, that's what happens to them and many others in Indonesia on a daily basis. It's sad seeing that these are the people who are in charge of our country. I think of people like me and my peers who have all these idealistic. There will be times when my generation will be taking over and some of them are already do and I do really hope that we can do better for our country, but I do wonder if being in the system will change who you are. One corruption case in Indonesia that got me really asking this is the case with former beauty queen Angelina Sondakh. I asked this to Oshie once if being inside the corrupt system will just change who you are. I wonder. We need cleaner, more sincere people. This documentary is seriously honest in its approach. The people being interviewed, who openly expressed their rotten ideals knew they're talking to the camera and it'll be in the film and they were pretty comfortable with it all. There's some undeniable truth in this movie. One of the killer said he didn't feel guilty because he's carrying out order and I am the type of person who thinks that if you are in war, you do have to carry out order for the sake of your side. It's just unfortunate that the side he was in is a very bad one. When confronted that he committed war crimes, he explained and cited correct examples (like the war in Iraq commissioned by President Bush) that the definition of war crimes is being made by the winner. Since he's on the winning side, he could say that what he did was justifiable. It's totally correct. It's the way of the world. So while people can be enraged watching this documentary and think how messed up Indonesia is, this kinda thing happens all over the world, not just in Indonesia. That makes you really sad, no? Another thing that was rather troubling was the many anonymous in the crew list. These are the Indonesians whose identity had to be hidden for the sake of their protection. Hope they'll feel alright and satisfied they had bring up a story that needed to be heard.

Casryn said I watched such a heavy movie for Christmas eve. I guess I did. Today I watched something nice though, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Love it so much. It's not really comedic if that's what you expect from a Ben Stiller's movie. It's more drama and for me I did choose to watch it to be inspired. Feeling rather sad having to do things alone but since it's the reality of my life, I really need to go out there and not just hide in my hole just because I don't feel like doing things alone. Ben Stiller is looking pretty handsome here. Well I have always felt he's quite good looking since Meet the Parents. Just checked Wikipedia, darn that movie was in 2000, it's been more than a decade! Altogether now, aaarrghhhh!!! Anyway The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is pretty good and the scenes were all so pretty. I correctly guessed what the final picture would be, but it was more beautiful than I thought it would be. The clue, ghost cat Walter Mitty was pretty spot on. Love Ben Stiller in this and love how first and foremost it was about his character exploring the world and not the love story. Yes his crush to the girl was a source of comfort, but above all it's mostly about him. I find it rather interesting, funny perhaps, that just one small thing can be the trigger to spur you to do extraordinary things and I think more often that not it is the case, the small thing, the so called straw that break the camel's back and speaking of that I was reminded of the version of that phrase in french that Mr. N kindly told us, c'est la goutte d'eau qui fait déborder le vase, the one drop of water that overflow the vase. I do recommend you guys to watch this movie and I personally really feel the lines below that the movie is telling us over and over. Have a good one last few days (in 2013) guys :)

"To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to ... to draw closer ... to see and be amazed. That is the purpose of LIFE."

:) eKa @ 10:23:00 PM • 0 comments

New Vaio, Olla!

Hello guys, writing this using my new vaio which I got yesterday. My old vaio has served me for the past 7 years. I haven't discarded it yet. It's still working albeit slowly at most times, but you know I have a fondness towards it and it did take me some time especially in these last few days to decide if I really want to let it go. I'm not the type of person who change IT gadgets ever so easily, example: I've been using my ipod for the past 6 years. I just think it's a waste when people easily change their IT gadgets, which make me wonder what people do with their not that old things when they get new things. While people may look at me in a bit of a ridicule with things that I own, like my phone (so many people have asked me why I am still using my nokia), I actually take quite a pride that I don't submit easily to following what the mainstream mass is into (for the record, my phone is smart enough, I can make call, send text, browse the net, take picture, and that's enough for me). If any ridicule to be made, it's me looking down at how the "smart" gadget that people have does not necessarily help them to be smarter. No amount of technology can change your inherent nature of wanting to get knowledge. Anyways, I seem to have gone defensive there, so let's talk about this new vaio. Decided to get a cheaper one than the one that I set my eyes first, but I feel happy with this decision. It has bigger screen, the same as my old one so that's one big plus, though this one is smaller in size compared to the old one. The processing power seem to be slightly higher than the one that I initially wanted. The keyboard which I am using to type now is very soft and nice, but I need more time to get used to it. It's black, so yay! Been wanting to have a black one since my first vaio but there wasn't any at that time, though I have to say the silver one for this model was quite good looking too. It's in Windows 8 so that is a HUGE change and I really need to get used to how things are. My previous vaio is in XP which causes my IE to be stuck, not being able to be upgraded to view HTML 5 content and yes before you scream at me for even mentioning IE, I did end up using firefox or chrome to do my browsing, mostly firefox. The chrome seemed to get my internet connection to disconnect all the time in the previous vaio. Again with all my unexplainable fondness, I do have a fondness with IE, so I am typing this post now in IE. It gives me some error though while going to blogger :( I still need to install things, maybe I should make a list now that I think about it. Right now, I just get rather overwhelmed thinking I need this and that. Yesterday, I almost collapsed trying to figure out how to connect the Bluetooth mouse I was given. I had a bad flu yesterday or a bad allergic reaction (I'm not sure), anyway I was sneezing like crazy and the head was getting painful and I tried so many things and yet it couldn't work. The OCD me just couldn't let it go and lie down (side note: yesterday evening as well, I was driven crazy on finding the one sock that I was so certain that I saw with its pair an hour before. With the mouse not working and me getting sicker, it was really hard, but I did find it). I also did manage to make the mouse work *yay!* Thank God, I almost wanted to give up and planned to get a normal mouse with cable today. Would I though? As I said my OCD just couldn't let me just lie down and watch Agatha Christie's Poirot on TV. Thank God all is okay and I didn't faint. So what else to say about this vaio. The screen is a touch screen, I suppose because it enhances the use of Windows 8. I'm not one who like changes, so as much as I think Windows 8 is more user friendly for people who are using the computer for the first time, I am just missing the previous windows experience that I have grown up with. I just found out that my computer only has C drive, which again I think make sense for people who are using computer for the first time. I mean all those partition can be confusing right, but now for me it troubles me somewhat without it. So much things to get used to. Suddenly I am thinking about Sheldon Cooper and Abed having to deal with changes :D With that TV reference, can I just say that Hawaii Five-0 is so promoting Windows 8. Like every time I managed to catch it on TV, there will be deliberate shots where the guys are using Windows 8. Product placement which is too obvious like that just turns me off and Indonesian TV and films these days (imagine films!!!) are so guilty of that. Anyway so I guess that's about it. I'm not one who gives myself Christmas present though I do seem to be always getting myself something near Christmas time. I just want to say that this year, the Christmas present is quite expensive. I do hope it'll last as long as the previous one.

Moving on, I finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I love it. Didn't expect the story to be as warm as it is since in the back cover it's written, "Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit' em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird". A lawyer's advice to his children as he defends the real mockingbird of this enchanting classic - a black man charged with the rape of a white girl. So I was expecting something more intense, but it was actually quite a warm story as seen from the eyes of the young daughter of the lawyer. The rape case was perhaps the highlight of that period for the kids and the town, but there are actually other things being explored. The rape case story itself only started almost halfway into the book. I love the book and I'm glad I got to experience it. It has a really meaningful message in it so I get why it's a classic. I do have difficulty imagining the period. I kept thinking it's like in Gone with the Wind period where the ladies are wearing those long gowns, but it's actually more modern since they have cars. Maybe it's before Mad Men era? So anyway that's book number 4, I am short of my 5 books a year goal, so I need to try harder next year. I did get a new book today. I ended up choosing Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan. I was already kinda intrigued by it when I was choosing the 4th book this year. Today I finally settled on it because in the book cover, there's a line written by Erin Morgenstern about how she likes the book. Erin Morgenstern wrote a book that I really love, The Night Circus. So I guess if she likes it, it should be good :)

Other thing that I managed to do today is to wake up rather early and go watch 12 Years a Slave. It's a good sad movie. I think there's no word sufficient enough to describe how awful and unfair slavery is. I was thinking how lucky we are to not experience it but I know slavery is not totally gone in this world. You just need to go to CNN to read about modern slavery. 12 Years a Slave tells the story of a free black man who was conned and ended up being sold as slave. Imagine that, how horrible that must have felt. Horrible is perhaps not a good enough word to explain how it's like. In the end he got his happy ending, but it was truly heart-breaking for me seeing how he had to leave the other slaves who were still have to suffer the injustice :( There's one person free, but for the many others it's an awful existence without hope of an end. It's definitely a strong movie. The cast were great, they would definitely move you, especially Chiwetel Ejiofor who played the main character, Solomon Northup, and Lupita Nyong'o who played one of the slaves. One thing that I found interesting are the dialogues which I would describe as a bit Shakespearean though perhaps it's not the right word to describe it. I love hearing the English being used and it makes me feel how we're so not poetic in the way we speak in this modern world :P

I'm gonna stop now. A few more days to Christmas. Tomorrow is Mother's day in Indonesia which is also tangyuan day for the Chinese. Then it's a few more days to the new year which I know I will dread as the days are passing by. I wanted to do something at this end of the year, but I don't think I'll get to do it, so it's business as usual. The malls have been annoyingly crowded. "How I hate people!", lament I. I haven't been feeling much Christmas spirit, haven't been listening to many Christmas songs, but I am going to leave you with this picture. It's the Christmas decoration in Wheelock Place, one of the malls here in Singapore. For those of you who have started to enjoy the Christmas holidays and end of the year, hope you have great one :) Peace out!

PS: I gotta add, Windows 8 have some amazing themes for the desktop. I have to stop myself from browsing and downloading most of them. I know it doesn't matter for many of you, but I am a girl :P

:) eKa @ 10:52:00 PM • 0 comments

The (Useless?) Things in My Brain

I was thinking of writing a post fitting of the title during the weekend, but Saturday was spent finishing season 1 of Les Revenants and on Sunday, I had a massive headache caused by a strain in the neck and so I didn't manage to write anything. Now more than 12 hours later since I watched Season 3 Finale of Homeland, I still couldn't shake off the sadness that Brody died :'( and so this post will be about tv and all the things I watched which most probably be too many and will make you think that I seriously have no social life and to that I say you are spot on :) I have no social life but the love for stories are just innate in me. I loved reading when I was young and too bad the many distraction in my adulthood have steered me away from reading more, though I do try. I always love tv, I am the one who sneaked out of the room during nap time to watch tv and how weird that when I was a kid, I detested having to nap and now I am longing for it. I love movies and watched a lot of stuff and yet I still feel I haven't watched many good movies out there. Bottom line, all those love points to one basic and simple truth, I love stories :) I just do. With that, let's do this.

Let's begin with Homeland. Hiks :'( Season 3 hasn't been so Homeland-ney if I can say so. I think I wrote before that I thought season 2 was better than season 1. Going to 3, I was like ... err. It so happened, when I got round to watch it, it's on the same evening as The Walking Dead season 4 and I always did it as such that I would watch Homeland first then The Walking Dead and it was a good way to do it because this season of Homeland was rather slow at times (I really do not want to use the word "dull") to the point that if something happened, I was rather excited when in retrospect the thing that happened wasn't that amazing to begin with but when you set it against what's been going on, you just got kinda pleased. It was so in contrast to how The Walking Dead been presenting itself this season; they were bang bang, fast speed on the get go, from the first episode. Either way though, I was still watching Homeland because I remember how much I loved it. This weekend as I was thinking that the season finale is coming soon, I was thinking about how people in the internet have been saying that Brody should die and I was thinking I will not be ready for it to happen. Had I written this post on the weekend, I was already planning to write something like, I hope they didn't kill Brody. They did do and it was so surreal I guess. As the scene was developing, I was thinking something's gonna happen, like Quinn would suddenly already swoop down to Iran to go all badass and save Brody. It would perhaps speak a lot to Quinn's character as someone who really just follows order as he was the one who was assigned to assassinate Brody in season 2. That didn't happen and I thought Javadi would use a body double during the hanging, but that didn't happen. As it really did happen, I was in an okay mood. There was no tear shed, no "Oh my God!!!". Weird. I guess I was in denial, thinking that perhaps he's not truly dead, that it is another conspiracy thingy. It did sink in and I did feel truly truly sad as evident by my tweet after watching the episode. I got even more sadder this morning as I read recaps and interviews with the creator and it added more finality to the whole thing that Brody is truly dead :'( Now going back to the last episode, I feel it was more tragic because Brody and Carrie didn't have their last resolution to how they feel about each other. Yes Brody now knew that Carrie is pregnant with his child, but there was not a last kiss or even a hug. It was all so sad and I personally feel worse because I've taken a lot of liking for this character. You see, in season 1 you have Brody as this bad guy and you really just want to root for Carrie to take him down and just hate him, but then the unpredictable Carrie factor really just changed what should be a straight forward thing, and she managed to turn Brody and you really just start to want a happy ending for him and you began to think it could happen in season 2 until his confession video was released out framing him, arrrgghh :'( From then on, it seems he just didn't have a chance all the way to the end. So sad. I know Brody wants everything to be over but it still is hard to accept his death :'( If he has to be gone, I would rather he's just be alive in exile somewhere. Love Damian Lewis in Band of Brothers and love him again in Homeland. His death really makes me not so excited about season 4 anymore :( Perhaps it could be something that I watch when I have nothing else to watch rather than something I eagerly keep up with each week *sigh* Even the presence of Quinn whom I love in season 2 cannot soothe this sadness :'( and by the way, didn't Quinn say he's gonna quit CIA once all this is over? So why is he still there 4 months later?

So that's that. It's rather weird that I'm feeling this big loss over a character dying. When Hank died in Breaking Bad, I was sad even though I knew there's no way out of it, but in the end I was okay. Maybe if Jesse had died, it would have been a different story, but overall I was okay with how Breaking Bad ends even with Walt dead. Perhaps because it's a series finale, hmmm. Then we have the The Walking Dead mid-season finale, where we also had one of the main character died. The governor died which was good riddance for me since I really dislike him. Then Hershel died, I was feeling sad as it was going to happen, but overall I was okay. The weird thing was that I was okay as Brody was dying, but then after the hour was done, I was feeling really really sad :'( Hiks ... Anyway, looking forward for The Walking Dead to come back soon. By the way, as the boy who plays Card grows, I begin to think there's so much Daryl in him. They kinda look alike too. In this universe of zombie apocalypse, I just see that when Carl is an adult, he's gonna be all badass like Daryl :P

Speaking of the undead, last week I finished season 1 of Les Revenants or The Returned as it's called in English and I do recommend all of you to check it out, asap! I found out about this because I read an article that the Americans are planning to make the american version of it. It's french so I thought I should check it out, hopefully at the same time I could get same french knowledge into the brain. I was ready to watch it without the subtitles but then I found versions with english subtitle and I have to say that my french is super bad and the subtitle is much much appreciated. I guess it's also because they speak in a more casual manner, like for anyone learning Indonesian, they may have difficulty understanding how Jakartans speak because we unconsciously structure our sentences differently. Anyway Les Revenants took a different view of the undead. I guess with zombie, we're just accustomed to see them as something monstrous, but what if dead people can come back and be seemingly normal and not in pursue of eating other humans. This is the theme presented by Les Revenants. The human drama and reaction of the family finding out their loved ones come back were interesting for me. There was the mother who was undoubtedly happy, a twin sister who cannot deal with what's happening (after all if you have tried to cope with a death that ruins your family, being pulled back to like nothing ever happened is a lot to digest), then there's also the guy who cannot accept that his love has moved on with life (it was kinda selfish of him not being able to see what 10 years of having to accept death can do to someone). Of all, I was most taken by the grandpa who's so freaked out that he decided to just burn his dead wife along with his house and then commit a suicide. However the undead will just be undead and so the wife returned back. Also an interesting question, how do you feel if the person you killed comes back, how do you react? While it may seem like it's all human drama, Les Revenants is much more than that. There's a sinister undertone and it's intense and suspenseful without actually shoving blood and scary deformed zombies into our face. One of the character that I'm so curious about is the little boy, Victor. This boy is so cute (when he speaks) and creepy (when he doesn't) that you don't know if you want to feel good about seeing him on the scene. Love seeing him, but I start to feel worried because the thing about child actor is that they grow and if he has to be written out because he's grown so much, it's kinda sad. Anyway, I feel it has a Lost-esque feeling about it with all the mystery, like who gets to come back, and why now, why this village, and where's Victor had been all this time since his first sighting 4 years ago when he caused the bus crash. There are only 8 episodes in season 1. At episode 7, for some reason I felt it was getting weird and going to be silly, but by episode 8, it was so gripping and intense and all without actual violence happening. At the end of episode 8, I feel like, what's going on?!??!!? It's too bad that season 2 is not even in production yet. I hope they're going to be really clever in explaining the mystery.

As I do hope the people in Sherlock will be when they have to explain how Sherlock survived the fall. Yes, that is another thing that I watched. Starting in January, along with Community which I'm quite excited about since Les Revenants made me feel like I need to watch something funny. Before all that, we still have Downton Abbey Christmas special we have to go through. Now that I wrote that, perhaps I'll survive Brody Homeland death just as I have survived the death of Matthew and Sybil. Those 2 were quite hard to take as well. Oh yeah, it's rather amusing for me that Les Revenants in France has a warning that it's not recommendeded for kids below 12. One episode even had a 10 years old and below warning. Yes, there's not much violence, there's nudity which is expected for something french, but still I thought the vibe can be too frightening for teens. After I watched the last 3 episodes back to back, I was wondering if I can sleep alright :P

On other news. Last Italian class last Saturday. Not gonna sign up for the new class. Not sure what I'm gonna do next year. I feel like I should start planning things. Really feel like I should learn another language, but like everything else I don't know what I should be doing :( Anyway, in class, there was an exercise where Sara asked us to watch a muted short clip and try to think about the dialogue happening in that clip. There's a clip when Marilyn Monroe was about to sing Happy Birthday to President Kennedy. Before the clip was shown, there's the black and white image of Marilyn and Sara asked us if we knew who that was and what's happening. I answered it's Marilyn and I guessed it's the Happy Birthday clip. In retrospect, I wonder if my classmates knew who she was, like I wonder if I should have answered with her full name, but seriously who's the most famous Marilyn out there. She can go on a first name basis. Then as we watched the clip, one of the classmate asked which president she's singing it to. I was seriously stunned and I had to tell her it's Kennedy. They were also laughing at my other classmate version of the dialogue which involved her singing happy birthday in a breathy tone. I think they didn't know it was really like that. This got me thinking some things. One, I have so many useless things in my head? I know things like this. However you see, I feel proud and good that I know all this and the evil me do look at these people like they're just not my kind of people. I am an elitist as I think people have tried to allude. I'm not that smart smart though, so I guess I cannot be part of the elitist because they will look at me the way I look at these people. Two, I begin to think, I seriously SERIOUSLY need to be with someone who can match this knowledge of mine. Maybe it is too much to ask, hence I am still alone, but I cannot imagine being with people who don't know stuff. Lastly, I begin to think that perhaps I see myself as too young. I mean perhaps and there's a big possibility that all these girls, my classmates with their ignorant questions are way younger than me. Maybe I look old and I'm denial about it. I wonder if people see me and they straight away think I am 30 something? I guess if these people are like younger, perhaps I can pardon them a bit, but I do wish if they're in their late 20s that they would have more general knowledge. So with that very snobbish and arrogant note, I should end this post before I sounds more like an ass.

:) eKa @ 7:23:00 PM • 0 comments

Reading Differently

Today in Italian class, the topic was still about movies and I told the class that the last Italian movie that I watched was probably Italy: Love It or Leave It. I said I like the movie because I find it very interesting the different sides of Italy that the movie gives. Usually foreigners will see Italy as this wonderful beautiful place, but this documentary gives a more real view of Italy. I said those in a not very articulate Italian, but basically that's why I love it. It was refreshing for me when I watched this documentary and obviously since the film makers decided to show these sides, they know that these issues exist and it's pretty encouraging that they are bringing to the front things which they deem are wrong or bad because this shows that there are people who are in tunes about things that are wrong and that there are people who are not ignorant. It's important because by understanding things that don't work, only then can we start to find a way to fix them. Now that I wrote that, I'm thinking why I didn't say this when I was explaining why I like that movie. Anyways, another girl has also watched the movie and she didn't like it because she said it showed a lot of bad sides of Italy and for the title of Love it or Leave it, the documentary does not give a balance argument to each side. All seems to point out to leave it. The documentary itself was somewhat came to fruition because the couple who made the movie was at the point of deciding if they want to leave Italy. The couple was this Italian and a non Italian. The Italian was feeling heavyhearted about leaving but as they explored Italy more, they realized it's getting harder to find a way to love it wholeheartedly. In the end though, they chose to stay. I guess it kinda resonates with me too because I still love Indonesia though when I look into it, there's just more and more things that I hate about it, but here I am still keeping my citizenship. I have to say, I think it's easier for me to say I love Indonesia since I'm not living in it. If I live in it and I have to deal with the shit day in and day out, I may say differently.

So anyway it got me thinking of how I view things and hence the title above. Does it seem that I am the pessimistic one? I mean I know I am. The glass is half empty for me all the time. I just feel like I prefer thing to be told in all its sides rather than be sugar coated to make it easier to swallow. It's a strange thing to say considering I don't like getting the necessary harsh truth. In fact, I always get stressed out when I have to deal with inconvenient truth. That being said, I don't know, I guess I would still rather choose to know all the bad sides first. It's like the bad sides are more important since that way you would really know what you're getting into. The good sides are more like a bonus. Maybe this only makes sense to me? Anyway, next week is the last Italian class. What are we gonna do next year? I have no idea. In this downward mood, I have no desire to do anything :( This week, there's indication that the thing that I don't want to happen may happen and the stress is building again :( I'm trying to pull it together, but I just can't really control my mind. It's all so screwed up. I often can't sleep on many nights now. Sunday night is not the worst anymore, there are many nights like that these days. Mom wishes for me to be more relaxed. Perhaps I shouldn't be so stubborn in how I read things and take another view of the situation. Obviously the way I have been looking at things only sends me spiraling deeper into the dark hole so perhaps a more positive read on things could lift me up. I always say I can't control how I think or feel. I know for sure it's not correct since many people have testified on their ability to control how they think and feel and the good thing it does to them. It's a matter of wanting to do it and be disciplined about it. I got it right when I used the word "stubborn" up there since I stubbornly holding on to how I have been feeling instead of trying to change it. You know what they say, "if you cannot change the situation, you can change how you feel about it". I don't know why I can't bring myself to be positive or even just try to be positive.

Moving on to stranger stuff. In Italian class today, one of the girls in class said, "I don't know who Anthony Hopkins is". WHAT??!?! Another one then asked who Susan Sarandon is. I know it's rude, but in those 2 instances, I was like openly, "hah?". I mean like, you girls live in a city, come on! Then I was thinking, darn it Eka, there are people like that. No matter how easy it is for them to access information, they will just not use it to fill things into their brains and it's not like these things are that important and you know one of them has a husband, the other has a hot boyfriend (so the class was informed last week) and what do you have Eka? What do you get with all these information in your brain? Yeah, I got nothing. So we're moving on to other topic now. I was ambivalent about it, but in the end I decided to just go watch Frozen after class today. It's just it's been awhile since I've been in a cinema. It's actually only been like 2 weeks. Anyway, there isn't any movie which is like calling to me these past few weeks, but then I thought I should just go and as I entered the cinema hall, I realized how I really do like movies. I want to bring this to your attention, the thing about watching a cartoon in a cinema is that there are many little kids and darn they're noisy! I think the thing I hate more than their talking, screaming, and comments is the parents who let them do it. Arrrrgghhh. I observed that today it's the Asian kids who are doing it all. There were westerner kids and somehow they know to just sit and watch the movie without making noise. What's wrong with these Asian parents?!?!? Though I have to say, the most annoying mom I've encountered was the mom who brought her young kids to watch Midnight in Paris. She let the kids run around in the cinema hall. I was ready to murder her.

Anyway, Frozen was delightfully wonderful. I love it very much. Most surprised with Kristen Bell. She sounded so different. I was in disbelief that it's her. There's not a trace of her Gossip Girl voice. I am also most surprised that she can sing really well. The songs, I have to say, are one of the part that makes this movie great. It really gives a Disney feel to the whole thing, although I have to point out that I have mix feeling about the lyric of the songs and the musical style. I love all the songs, I don't hate them, but I wonder if they're really just gonna be bad without the modernized pop feel in the melody and the lyrics. Like if the lyrics were more poetic instead of more current to adapt to how people these days speak, would they make the songs not as easily loved? I don't know if you get me. Anyway, back to the movie. Totally didn't see the twist coming though as it was revealed I did have an inkling on how the story will be resolved and I was kinda right. Glad that I went to watch it :) Feel like finding the songs so that I can put them on loop :) Okay guys, that's all I have so far. Darn, it's always much better in my head of the things that I want to say but when the time comes to write it, I couldn't pin them down anymore or make a good connection from one thought to another to make a fluid composition :( Hope your days will be great. I hope nothing bad will fall on me, but I can only pray and pray for that :( How I wish I can be happier.

:) eKa @ 8:35:00 PM • 0 comments

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