My Dear Home, Indonesia

Hi peeps. Titanic is on TV right now. How adorable was Leonardo diCaprio!!! So anyways peeps I have been back in Singapore for 3-4 days now. Arrived here on Wednesday night and I have been quite tired going back to the routine, unpacking the stuff I had, laundry, and ironing the stack of clothes which was waiting for me. I also managed to do my homework, to the surprise and delight of a boy which I'm gonna call Nicky in this blog. I was kinda nervous about this morning's session, simply because I was scared that Mr.P was gonna torture me to talk about what I did during my holiday. I was kinda sad that Yeni wasn't coming and it seems she's not gonna continue as well :( I like having an Indonesian around. The Indonesian language is still running pretty deep in me after my holiday that I almost answered Raggio's question today in Indonesian. Well, maybe I can take comfort in the fact that Mau will still be there, as well as many of the people I have grown accustomed to.

So how was my holiday? Well the last time I wrote, I wrote about how battered and wounded I was that I think it really took a toll on my health. Or perhaps I could be simply unlucky. I got sick and I had to see the doctor twice for 2 different reasons *sigh* In fact the last time I went to see the doctor was last Sunday and so I guess my energy level has not really come back to its fullest state. I actually felt pretty weird with my body today :( and after days of averaging a 9-11 hours of sleep, I have been having around only 6 hours still I came back :( Then not to mention, Singapore is really really darn hot :(

I'm gonna give you the boring story of me getting sick back home. The first visit to the doctor happened after Chinese New Year. I had flu. My mom wondered why I was having flu when I had flu vaccination. Well to defend the nice Singapore doctor who gave me the shot, I skipped the whole runny nose part and went straight to the bad sore throat and coughing :( I knew I needed antibiotic as usually prescribed by my doctor in Singapore. The Indonesian doctor did give me that, which now that I remember, all his dose was lower than what the Singapore doctor usually tells me to take. The indonesian doctor told me to take 1 pill instead of the usual 2 which I am normally told here. I don't know if the dosage of the Indonesian medicines in themselves are stronger. I kinda doubt it. The second visit to the doctor happened because of a stranger reason. You see, last Sunday I was supposed to went to a crater lake in Bandung (a city outside Jakarta) with my aunts. My aunts were picking me up at 5 am (darn they do start early in Jakarta! More about that later). So anyways, somehow last Saturday I couldn't sleep, which was strange. I usually slept easily at home but that night I couldn't sleep at all. Then I started to feel sick and nauseous and sometime before 4 am, I vomitted! It's been years since I vomitted, so I was alarmed but somehow when my aunt called me saying she was on the way, I didn't tell her that I was feeling sick. By the way, my mom wasn't around at that time and my dad was leaving for work soon after and I don't know why eiher, I didn't tell my dad before he left that I vomitted. I vomitted one more time before 5 and before I knew it, my aunts have arrived. So I went with them, still didn't tell them that I vomitted earlier. Around 10-15 minutes in the car, I vomitted again :( then I told them that I couldn't make it. We were actually going to another aunt's house first to pick my cousin and my aunt told me to just go there first and rest. We arrived, I was feeling really unwell. They felt that I had too much wind in my body which they were most probably right. My aunt tried to help me with the traditional dikerok. I wasn't feeling better so it was decided that we were not going to make it for the trip. My aunts told me to rest first until I felt better, so we waited. Sometime before 7, my aunt received a call that her sister in law had died. She was pretty sad. She was crying and it's never easy to see someone older, who you look up to, cried. In the end my other aunt encouraged this aunt to just take a flight to Semarang (which is in central Java. Jakarta is in west Java by the way) for the funeral and so they went. So it's kinda fate played a hand of me getting sick and as such we were not able to leave as planned and thus we were still around when my aunt got the call which then allowed my other aunt to accompany her. The being sick part still wasn't nice. I got worse. I ended up having high temperature and that's when my dad had to take me to the doctor again. It's really like there's a lot of wind in my body and they were kinda trapped and I felt so sick :'( I cried in fact. Not because it hurt but more because I was mellow and moody. You see my mother wasn't around. She was in Bangka at that time to do the customary prayer since my uncle's grave had been completed. I was really really feeling sick but thank God the drugs work and Monday morning, I was feeling better.

So with the sickness, I didn't really go out much. In fact, I only went to the mall one time. It was good though because I got to try the pancakes from Pancious. Pancious is a pancake restaurant which my Indonesian friends have been raving in Facebook. I love this place! If only there's such place in Singapore too. The visit there brought a lovely surprise because I got to see Stella! My roommate back in NUS. It was such a coincidence, a good one. She had some tears in her eyes, which made me wanna cry too :P I finally got to see her 3 kids, which were such a fun group to watch. I think Stella is like the pinnacle of housewife that many women in Indonesia would really like to be. You see, she has 3 kids, 2 nannies, and a maid. The only thing missing in her household is a driver, which she perhaps also has anyway. So she's quite a successful housewife in a sense :) Anyway, in the mall I also got a haircut. Somehow I feel my hair should have been shorter. I had my hair cut by the same person who cut it last year. I gave her a really generous tip which gonna makes my mom mad if she finds out. Well I hope people will see me as being nice instead of a dumbass :P

For Chinese New Year, we did go visiting to aunts and uncles' houses. The trips each had some unfortunate events :( The first one saw us getting lost in finding our way back, that we were on the road for 1-2 hours longer than we should have been. The second trip saw the air conditiner broken down that it was blowing hot air :( I should have sensed something was wrong with my body when I didn't sweat as much as my mom and aunties who seemed like they were in a sauna. I guess these things might have contributed to me getting sick. Also the fact of that I didn't really watch what I ate, especially the many rambutans that I had which my dear dear mother nicely peeled off. I didn't even have to work to peel them off :P

The sickness also caused me to bail out on my dear friends, Marlisa, Dewi, and Emilia twice. We did meet one time and had dinner in Cheesecake Factory, another place I heard people mentioned in Facebook. This was a place I was interested in seeing because it's where Penny from The Big Bang Theory works. I expected the waiters to be wearing Penny's uniform, unfortunately they didn't. They did wear vests, but they were black. I don't know if the Cheesecake Factory in Indonesia has any relation to the ones in the US. We tried the cheese cakes but somehow I didn't find them to be amazingly extraordinary.

Oh yeah, I did go to Sari's wedding dinner with my dad, aunt, and uncle. Sari is my classmate back in high school. We were in the same class in our 2nd grade and we sat together. It was a javanese wedding, so it's kinda cool to see the costume they wear. The males had keris on their back. Well I don't know if there were actual keris in the sheaths. I got to see a few of high school friends as well. It's always surprised me that people can still recognize me. Well according to Wira who nicely greeted me, I looked the same :P somehow I always think I change :P Too bad Emilia didn't come though. Oh yeah, speaking about Indonesian custom and such, I love how batik has become so popular in Indonesia. I wanted to get me a batik skirt but I couldn't find any and of all the shirts I saw, I didn't find one which I really like. Now I regret not having bought any, I should have looked harder :(

So that's pretty much it about life back home. I had fun though. I like being able to get away from my Singapore's life. I like seeing my mom and spending time with my mom and dad watching tv. I like the chance I had on spending time with my aunts, uncles, and cousins, however short it was. I got to see my cousin's kids which were also quite a higlight. Unfortunately with me being sick, I wasn't able to see them more often. I like just spending time in my house, watching Indonesian TV and the DVDs that my brother bought. Indonesian TV stations are still showing some rubbish but I like some of the things that they show. I kinda miss them now. I like the fact that Indonesian TV stations are really about the people. Unlike Singapore TV stations who are more about the profit. You see, without cable TV, Indonesian get to watch live sport matches from the tv stations, like NBA games, boxing, formula 1, etc. In fact we spent the Chinese New Year holidays watching all stars NBA games on tv. Day 1 was the dunking competition and the other types of competition, kinda cool. Day 2 was the East VS the West. The ending was tight! Then for the world cup this year, Indonesian will have easy access to watch all the matches live! I like that it's like that in Indonesia. In Singapore, I will not have access to these matches because I don't have cable. BOOHOO!!! Things like this really can unite the nation because it's something that people can talk about. Unfortunately it's not like that in Singapore :( Not everyone will get to watch the matches, so only a few people will be able to talk about it. Not all men, women, and children :(

Anyway, I found out that there were many important things that happened to my family that my mother didn't tell me. So it's kinda sad. Like the fact, that there was a time when my mother was sick, my father got hurt, and also the time when my brother had an accident. I couldn't believe they didn't tell me that my brother had quite an accident! It's sad to be missing out on this. Oh I need to tell about how Indonesian do start early. Well I would say that Indonesians are laid back, which some people may see as kinda lazy, but for these laid back Indonesians in Jakarta, they do start their day early that I think it's pretty crazy. I have once wrote about how a tv station has started airing their news live at 4-5 am. People are actually awake and already working at that hour. My mom told me about how my aunt took her to see a traditional chinese medicine doctor at 4 am when my mother had a really bad pain in her waist. She said people had started queuing at that hour and the doctor does start the practice that early! Even my aunt started cooking at 3 am to prepare our food for the trip last Sunday, it's crazy! She walked out to buy cucumbers at 4 am something and people have actually already started selling stuff! It seems even normal for my cousins to be waking up that early. Jakarta is just wonderfully chaotic, quirky, and unexpectedly amazing for me. This time around, I don't have much complain about its imperfection. I just love it so much! Hence that's why I feel that Indonesia is still home for me, even after years in Singapore. I love it dearly! I love my home, I love Jakarta, I love Indonesia :) Still so many things to write but maybe some other time. It's been pretty long. Take care peeps!

:) eKa @ 8:00:00 PM • 0 comments

Off to Rehab and Detox

Gonna go home today. I hope I can make it alright because my passport is actually expiring in less than 3 months. I hope I can make it back to Jakarta. I am not so concerned about not being able to come back to Singapore. I was telling NanSee just now how unlucky I have been these days. I think I am so battered and wounded in my life right now. I really need to go home. If I am a character in a game, my lifeline is diminishing fast. I could feel it when I woke up this morning, like my energy is really running out fast. So I really really hope, I can reach home in one piece.

This week has been pretty scary. Something really really bad and wrong happens in my body. I should be seeing a doctor but I didn't. I guess simply because I am scared to see her and get diagnosed and if it's of concern (which it is actually), I have to go through more tests and with that the ultimate bad news may come my way :'( I know I should't be ignoring the fact that something is really wrong with my body, but I am. I am hoping that it will be okay on its own soon :( I am not supposed to do this, really. I was seeking comfort from googling, which is so WRONG! I mean if such thing happens to you, I will urge you to see a doctor. It's just of all the so many things I can do and should do alone, I really don't want to do this alone :'( Anyways, I've told my mom. So if it's not getting better back home, at least I have the whole family there to help me get through what it is I need to get through.

Well nothing much else to say. I wish you guys a Happy Chinese New Year!!! Happy holidays! As usual I am pretty depressed thinking that I have to go back here. Aaarrrgghhh. For now, I am just so comforted thinking about dinner and my nice bed. Finally I will be able to sleep. Take care peeps. See you when I see you.

:) eKa @ 12:21:00 PM • 0 comments

Everybody's Fine

Darn, I woke up from my nap today with a severe flu. My head is so heavy right now and I cannot breathe properly. Aarrrghh, so this post may gonna be an explosion of random thoughts jumping in my head incoherently.

The title of the post is from a movie I watched this week, Everybody's Fine, starring Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, and Sam Rockwell. This movie is based on an Italian movie called Stanno Tutti Bene, which unfortunately I haven't watched. I did watch part of it in youtube and it seems to be very interesting. Anyways, Everybody's Fine tells a story of this old man (Robert De Niro) who decided to do a surprise visit to his 4 adult children. All because the kids all bailed on him when they were supposed to drop by for a gathering. So he went to each of the cities the kids were living in. He felt a distance with each of the kids, like they couldn't really say anything that they felt, when they used to do so with his wife who's dead now. Cut the long story short, in the end, he found out what's been going on in their kids' life. It's kinda very touching. Maybe I was just in such an emotional state though. He asked each of the kids, "Are you happy?". That question makes me so sad simply because I am not. Kinda made me wanna cry. One scene in the end showed the old man talking to his wife at her grave, kinda saying something along the line that the kids have problems in their lives but bottomline they're fine. Again it made me wanna cry. I relate to that. I am unhappy and depressed in life, but I am fine. I'm okay. I'm hanging in there. I don't know when will I reach the point of 'not fine'. I hope I will know that moment should it arrives before it's too late *sigh*

This week has been quite a whirlwhind week. It's amazing how fast things could happen. Did a few things this week that caused my nerves to run on high. However I don't think any of them will work out. For someone who seems so sure of herself, I actually have confident issue. What I really really want is to stop. That brings a lot of points to my head. Certain things seem more and more logical and there's a sense acceptance building in me. However it still messes up with my head a lot. I just don't want to hate myself in the end. I don't mind hating other people, but to hate myself is not really an option since I am stuck with myself forever *sigh*

Anyway, home is in a few days, less than a week. I am actually looking forward to leave this place and go home. However with the crazy week I have been having, there's no room for excitement. I should really get packing. I hope I can get everything done tomorrow. I have kinda get everything that I need to bring home. Didn't really do much chinese new year shopping, since financially I need to settle a few things *sigh* As usual, I am already depressed thinking that I will have to come back here eventually. Home is the safe place for me. Home is where noone will hurt me and I am loved and cared for. So to leave that is hard. How does one leave from that? *sigh* If you haven't thought much about your home, do think about it. Do cherish the parents who are living with you and don't take them for granted because really at the end of the day, it kills your parents' hearts to see you miserable in life.

My flu is really killing me and I am feeling a bit warm now. Goodnight peeps!

:) eKa @ 11:10:00 PM • 0 comments