Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Hello people of the Earth! How are you all doing? Life is great? Good. Not feeling very good right now (mentally) but I'll talk about it later. Let's talk about movies first (usual stuffs ya?). I did watch a few movies over the weekend, movies that I didn't watch when they were released.Started of with Mystic River which was showing on TV Saturday night. I didn't like it much because of the ending. I realize I don't like unhappy endings. They are necessary but somehow I prefer the sugar-coated-everything-gonna-be-okay shit. I do have to say the actors were good. I found that Sean Penn made the most impression on me compared to the other actors. It's not a bad movie, rather good in terms of stories and actors but since it's pretty heavy, it's not one movie which I am keen to watch again, anytime soon at least.
Then it was Paradise Now which I watched in UCC NUS Sunday evening. They are having some arts thingy so there are some free screening of movies. I went alone. I kinda knew it's pretty impossible getting anyone to accompany me. Who would want to go all the way to NUS on a Sunday evening to watch a movie. For me, it was just a 10-minute ride, so yeah, I thought why not. I also haven't done many things alone these days so that Sunday, I really made an effort to go alone. I just feel I need to enforce my independence and remind myself that I AM alone and I should be able to do things alone. Anyways, the movie wasn't as amazing as I expected. Not a happy ending as well, so that was pretty disappointing again. It told a story of these 2 childhood friends, who I think were Palestinians, who were chosen to carry out a suicide bombing mission in Israel. What struck me the most about the movie was how the place wasn't as bad as I expected. It is still bad though, imagine curfew everyday and the difficulties of going from 1 area to another. I guess I still have to be thankful that though it is darn difficult for Indonesian to travel, it's not totally impossible. I was also at awe to see that Israel was actually pretty modern and nice. I really didn't expect that. I do feel a bit embarrassed that I do not know much about the history of this area and the conflict and all. One should read more and be in tune with what's happening in other parts of the earth. It really made me wanna reach out to my Palestinian pen friend again, but I've still hadn't written the email. Yes, I am a lazy bum.
So since it practically only took me 10 minutes to travel to NUS, I arrived in time in my room for The Queen which was showing in Arts Central. I love the movie! I thought it was great. Helen Mirren was so cool as the Queen. I've never seen her this graceful and all. I think the movie did provide some insight to the royal family. How accurate it was, I think we'll never know. Watching this movie, I pretty much sympathized with the Queen. Totally recommending you to watch it if you have a chance to. Despite of it being a British movie and all, it's not boring at all. At least for me, I found it to be very entertaining.
The last movie I watched recently was Juno with La Gioia yesterday and gosh I love it!!! I thought it was truly truly a gem. The actors were awesome and I think what made it pretty awesome was because the young actors were the one who led and commanded the movie. The senior actors like Allison Janney and J.K Simmons were not overshadowed themselves, but we do must clap for Ellen Page, and her peers like Olivia Thirlby and Michael Cera (who I think has stamped his ability of playing a dork). Story wise, it ended okay though I can't say it was truly a happy ending (guys are just idiotic and immature sometime), but I guess life is never a happy ending? The snappy and witty lines were totally the crux of the movie. It's what made it so entertaining and what made me wish I can be that witty
So the title of this post was part of the tag line from Juno. I do feel like I have bumps along my way. Today I found out something or perhaps to be more exact, not finding something. I'm totally disappointed. Mom was telling me to be patient and somehow I feel that's God talking to me. See when I thought my mom was going to side with me, she took another view of the situation and that kinda made me calm a bit, though I'm still so disappointed! Lois asked me today whether I was coping with things. I kinda forget what my exact answer was, but I think it's more about I just take it as it was and somehow things do get done, in which God is truly responsible for every single thing of it. Then as I was walking home with my dinner, I realize that no, I don't think I'm coping. I don't think I'm coping with the loneliness, restlessness, and emptiness. Been having dinner alone these days, except when I go out with some people (something that I have to reduce since I don't think I have much money), which was rather rare anyway. The dinner alone, the routine of not knowing what to have for dinner and in the end choosing the same thing made me feel pretty sad. Basically overall the bigger part of the sadness was also him. He whom I used to love to see at the end of my rough day because somehow he made me smile. I looked forward to see him and I still do now. He who used to spend some dinners and desserts with me and how I really miss that. Though I may complain, but I miss standing outside when the sky was dark and waiting for the bus with him. I miss him dearly but today I've got clarity that I shouldn't burden him with how I feel. It wouldn't be fair for him. This will pass, he says, they say, everyone says however it still hasn't passed. I'm basically unhappy currently. I go through the motion, ignoring all these feeling, and laugh and smile, but as I sit in the bus alone, or have my dinner alone, or looking at my desk wondering what I should do to keep myself occupied, I'm basically restless. I still have to be thankful though, for every breath that I am still taking.
:) eKa @ 10:42:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Ms. Mun said I wrote a lot of movie reviews, I should try writing movie reviews for magazine. Well, I don't think it's possible? Since I am very bias in my review? I'm not objective at all as you will find out soonSo Jumper. Watched that with NanSee and La Gioia yesterday. Before we went, Vinny was already telling us that the movie sucks and he was rather disappointed with it. Me, on the contrary, say "I love it!!!". Before we went, I told Vinny, never mind that the story was not so good, we're going to watch the handsome Hayden Christensen anyway and my oh my, he's so my kind of guy
So that's the movie review. Had dinner at Manhattan Fish yesterday with the girls. I love that place. Darn it though that I don't have a good appetite these days that I couldn't eat much and in the end we couldn't manage to finish all the food. I couldn't sleep well, I couldn't eat. Something is definitely wrong with me and I'm kinda worried. Right now, I'm just trying to wait it out and see if things are going to improve. The not sleeping really takes its toll on me. My head is often heavy and right now I'm quite dizzy. I really really really want to be able to sleep.
:) eKa @ 9:26:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Watched that with Vivy yesterday. Love it though perhaps it's your typical chick flick. I think many people (meaning girls) cried during the movie. I cried quite tearfully when the first present from the dead husband came and that was quite early in the movie. I had expected the movie to be very sweet, in a way it was but it was also about moving on and facing reality when someone you love die, so it's not all about unrealistic saccharin sweetness. Even the ending wasn't as I expected, or perhaps in a way it was. I thought Hilary Swank's character was going to end up with Harry Connick Jr, but they didn't. They kissed and they didn't feel anything special. I wonder if it's true. You kiss someone and if the kiss wasn't good then nothing romantic can happen between the 2 of you. Well this movie seemed to say so, since Lisa Kudrow's character also walked out on a guy whom she kissed and apparently didn't feel any tingle with. I also got to thinking. Say the widow got a chance to meet another true love and got married, so what happened when they die and meet the first husband in heaven? What's then? There can be more than 1 true love? Ah, some people think true love is just a myth. Yes, I know my head is funny. Anyways, so I think the movie is nice. The actors were pretty good, Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler (who was dazzlingly charming in this movie), Lisa Kudrow, and the rest were an interesting watch. Some of the lines were witty and I was pretty entertained. Ireland was green of course. I really hope I get to go to Ireland someday. Go and watch it if you are in the mood for some light watch.Saturday started off with morning engagement. It's getting harder and harder now to keep up with it. Yes, I am physically there (though I have to painfully drag myself there) but I don't concentrate well and I don't say any substantial thing so that pretty much defeats the purpose. Then the work is getting harder and I'm so not committed to it. It is needing more time than before and yet I'm giving it less and less attention. I know I should do the work and yet my laziness win the best of me *sigh* Okay, I'll try. I will try my best to give it the required effort.
Let's go back to movies. So Saturday was movie, movie and movie. Went home and watched Under the Tuscan Sun. Amazingly I hadn't watched that before. Another movie that didn't go as I expected it would. However I think it's pretty close to real life. Not everyone gets a happy ending or perhaps sometime happy ending is not as we imagined it to be. We just need to stand a while and see that we do get everything we ask for though it wasn't as we spelled it to be. I hope I get to see this light someday too.
After Under the Tuscan Sun was Closer. I can just say that it's rather a strange movie for me. Jude Law was handsome but I hate his character a lot. Clive Owen was a hottie in his own right as well. Natalie Portman was beautiful, as always. Not a movie that I am keen to watch again but there was something that struck me in this movie, a line which I thought was pretty true. Jude Law's character was telling Natalie Portman that he fell in love with Julia Roberts' Character. Natalie Portman's character said "Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment. I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it, and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one". Very true, I think it's very true indeed.
Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 8:32:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I'm back here in Singapore. Not that you know that I was away. I went home for Chinese New Year. Speaking of which, Happy Chinese New YearI went home last week, on Tuesday and just got back last night. I arrived pretty fast last night. The plane wasn't really full. For the first time, mom just dropped me off and took off. I had much time, so for the first time I was exploring the inside of Soekarno - Hatta airport. I actually bought things inside there, some birthday presents for people whom I think will appreciate it.
Chinese New Year at home was okay. For me Chinese New Year actually felt like a sequence of things that we have to complete. I didn't have much excitement in it, to be honest. It feels like things that I have to participate on, the praying, the meeting of relatives and such. So yeah, that's pretty much it. Mom went back to work on the second day of Chinese New Year. I guess in general, the family is just not too hype up about it anymore.
Home was okay, I suppose. I miss eating at home, darn it! More talk about depression later. Met up with the girls twice and how I love them. I don't have this kind of friendship with anyone else. I wonder if they do. My cousin did say in our ride home that she felt that she could talk very openly to us and she couldn't really do so with her other friends. I love talking with them. Talking to them is different compared to me talking to my other friends, even the Indonesian. Well, for one, they can actually keep up with my speed and volume of talking. Then we are just the crazy comfortable us with each other. I really miss them. I miss them when I was with them 'cause then I knew what I miss. Dewi was saying that we should (and she hopes) that we still stay in touch even when we have kids. I said most probably our kids going to go to Samaria as well. Whatever it is, the biggest hope among us is that we stop being "jomblo"
Talking about present, perhaps my first present was from mom. She got me a new phone. The one that I want. I actually was ready to buy it myself, but when I went to the mall, there wasn't any stock. I started to think if I wasn't fated with the phone. Then my bro was kind enough to go and get it for me. I think the new phone is pretty but I can't help feeling sentimental with the old phone, which stayed with me for 3 years. The previous phone before that stayed with me for 4 years, so I guess I'm pretty good at keeping stuffs? Anyway, what made me sad about parting with the old phone was the fact that I couldn't transfer all the sms that I had. I kept some of the sms-es sent to me. Some of it were as records of who say what, and some of it were shocking
I didn't really go anywhere when I was at home, except to the uncles' houses during Chinese New Year and when I was out with the girls. Nothing much to tell about home or Jakarta for that matter. There are many Indonesian movies being released. I guess the production houses can actually make money from the movies, because if not I don't know how they can sustain. Some of it actually seemed interesting though I wouldn't put much hope on the story lines and the acting ability of the actors. I was interested to watch some of the movie, including Love which is released today.
There were some rain, which of course traumatize many Jakartans for fear of flood, but thank God none happened. Not in our area at least. Some of the rain was really heavy though. I was thinking perhaps that's how it feels to be standing under a tap of water that God opened fully. There were strong winds as well. Still we still have to be thankful that we were okay, we have an okay home. I guess this is one thing that I should really try to do more this year. Be more thankful for everything. Saying grace more often. Say thank you to God more often because the truth is, life has been kind to me.
Okay, that's pretty much it. Not much to tell about home. I survived today. Didn't really sleep much last night. I think I'm acceptant now to the fact that I don't sleep well in Singapore. Why? I don't know. So I woke up earlier than I wanted to, despite of me being tired and sleeping quite late. Did ironing and laundry this morning. Unpacked some stuff, while some will just stay in the suitcase. Oh yeah, I arrived last night in my room with a notice of a higher rent. I thought it was such a mood killer but then I saw that the hike wasn't much, so see there's a need for me to be thankful. Back to today. Dealt with a few stuff today. I supposed my engine wasn't warm enough that I took a while to solve something but in the end I did and with every small taste of success, I felt happy and proud with myself.
Had a weird feeling about being in Singapore today. It just felt surreal for me that I'm in Singapore. I was looking everywhere around me and tried to absorb all the things here in Singapore, though these are the things that I see pretty much everyday and I only left for a week. I think this strange feeling is contributed to the fact that depression is kicking in because this is my life, pretty much. Back to the old routine. Yes things are changing but I don't know, I just feel trapped in this life which is not making me smile sincerely. I know I have to be thankful nonetheless. Maybe I should really take flight. I have around 1 month to decide. I hope by my birthday, I have some enlightenment.
Since I don't have any interesting thing to say, so ciao peeps. It's Valentine day, my cousin's birthday. Happy Valentine day to you all. I will leave you with a picture which I like to call Cats on the Roof. It was taken from my house's balcony of the roof of the old house in front of us. The 3 cats were cuddling because it just rained quite heavily with the strong wind. The wire you see is electricity wire, a weird concept for Singaporean I think
:) eKa @ 8:38:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Went to watch The Kite Runner yesterday with La Gioia. I may should have rallied more people or waited for a more convenient time for my usual companions so that we could watch the movie together. However I wasn't in a mood to compromise. I don't have much time anyway. I found the movie to be okay. It felt quite slow at times but I don't think it's the movie's fault. It covered a lot of parts of the books, parts which I did want to see. Some parts were omitted, of course due to time constraint. Only 1 part was not the same, the part where Amir fought to get Sohrab back. I don't really know why they changed that, maybe for more dramatic reason. The book was such a good reading, it keeps you going and going, so perhaps the book feels faster and more interesting than the movie. Still, I think the movie was a passable attempt on the book. Did it evoke as much emotion as the book? I didn't really feel so, but perhaps because I'd read the book hence I know more and have felt more. La Gioia said she did feel sad that Amir didn't have the chance to meet Hassan again. Yeah reading the book, I thought it was pretty cruel of the writer but life never is fair, ya?A few days back, Ms. Kiera told me that the actor who played adult Amir was hot! Yes, he was handsome. At some point I thought he looked a bit like Jude Law
Now about life. Life has taken quite a turn this week, which reminded me aarrgghh, I have to complete something! Darn, I'm so lazy even to do this good thing. Anyway, yeah life has taken quite a turn and I was thinking. I hope for God to show me signs and yet when it happens I kinda don't believe that God makes it that way. I don't know what I want. It's strange. There were times when I thought I deserved better and yet I didn't get it and now when something good happens to me, I feel skeptical and worried because somehow I wonder if I deserve it. I feel like smacking my head for not accepting a blessing as it is. I just feel God's way are strange and I know the reason I feel that way is because I don't understand it. He's amazing and things happen and one thing may trigger another, after all life are pieces that come together. Maybe I feel strange because I only see the current chain of events while perhaps as it had been pointed out to me, there were reasons from the past that carried me to this state, reasons that had everything to do with me and not because of other people. I'm thinking of all those time, if people had known what it was like really, they would have definitely screaming at me telling me to get out. Some of whom did tell me so. I didn't. I stay. I think it's because I'm a lazy bum who hope God shows me the path. I stay and here I am. Strange but perhaps I truly deserve it. Perhaps this is God's way, a reward for my perseverance. I'm still skeptical and things are yet to be seen. I'm still in a disbelief state. Either way, praise the Lord almighty!
Other part of life. My dear cousin sent me an sms yesterday, telling me about this crush she had a decade ago who apparently is getting married. I don't know if she still has that crush or it's just that lingering feeling, of how the person you like floats in and out of your head sometime. I don't think I have any lingering feeling on any person that I had a crush on before, however my cousin makes me think that we two are alike in many ways. I think when we like someone, it can be pretty deep. Hence why I'm in this deep shit of trying to get someone off my head. Aaah, this is always not the fun part of having a crush and I know for me it will take a long time. I don't know what to say. Maybe I should just focus my energy to other important things? I do try to do that but he floats in to my head when my head is still. It's annoying. It breaks my heart. Aah, part and parcel of life I guess.
:) eKa @ 8:24:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
27 Dresses and Hundreds of Dollars Later
Hello people of the earth! How's the going? I got myself sick. I got myself sick on Saturday but after some self medication, I was doing okay. I was really okay on Sunday. Then Monday came and somehow after lunch, I was feeling sick. Was struggling to get myself all together so that I could just get through this week, but by Monday night I needed an expert help, so I decided to stay in on Tuesday. Got my antibiotics and the usual flu medicine that I love. I was surprised that I can still get flu despite of me already getting my flu vaccine last December, but I decided not to confront the doctor about it. Yesterday did feel like the whole world was against me, but on other thoughts, I was thinking that perhaps the world wanted me to slow down a bit before I kill myself or my sanity. However being the panicky me ("kiasu" is the correct word but I hate to use that) I did some things yesterday and it did clear a few things in my list and made one person happy. So everyone is happy though Eka perhaps needed more rest. I'm still not doing pretty well, cough is coming but I have some cough medicine, I've been having soups all the time, and I haven't drunk anything cold, so I'm hoping all of these will pass soon. My sickness was really really painful. I hadn't been sleeping well in Singapore, add not being able to breathe to that and I got very lousy nights and nap. The drugs didn't help to put me to sleep *sigh* I'm going home soon though, so then I can sleep!Had planned to have a half day off today. By right I should be spending it in my room recuperating but I decided otherwise. Don't tell my mom about it okay. She's so gonna yell at me. I didn't tell her that I was out. Did some Chinese New Year shopping today and a few hundreds dollars was gone. I've finished buying all the things that I need to buy. I even have packed them inside my suitcase. I may buy another piece of clothing for me, settle 1 other thing and I'm pretty much ready to go.
Then I went to watch 27 Dresses and how I love it! Love it! Love it! I was never a fan of Katherine Heigl, but I really love her character and I think she was really pretty. James Marsden was of course always lovable and a handsome guy. I love his character as well. The movie may be typical. At one point the story reminded me of Never Been Kissed and Runaway Bride, because of the relation between the journalist and the object of their writing. Typical and predictable as it may, I think the story was interesting, the characters were nice, and the lines were entertaining. Example: James Marsden's character, Kevin, asked Katherine Heigl's character, Jane, "What about you? You don't have any needs?". She answered "No. I'm Jesus."
On other parts. So the ex-president, Soeharto, died. I felt the way he died was a bit like the way he stepped down from presidency. He clung to it and in the end it was not meant to be. I was rather sad not being at home to follow all the news but did manage to watch RCTI online and watched / heard glimpses of the funeral. Didn't manage to watch all because of the boring Monday rendezvous. Did hear when her daughter, Mbak Tutut, read her eulogy. It was pretty heartbreaking and touching. It was sad. I feel some of the public responses were pretty fake. They spoke badly of him when he was alive and now they really turned and started saying good things just because he's dead. I think he may have done many wrong things when he governed but we can't deny the good things that we enjoyed. Hence I feel that he deserved to be respected.
Alright, there are other things to be told, like Vinny is leaving and apparently the 2 girls are going with him. Then il Gatto told me he is losing 3 people as well. I did feel a lost when Vinny told me he's leaving on Friday but it passed. When la Gioia told me about the 2 girls this morning, I was stunned but I can't say that I was devastated. When il Gatto told me his frustration, I was in a more upbeat spirit, telling him to relax and it's not so damaging
:) eKa @ 8:02:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Yes, this post is unimportant. I'm planning a quiet weekend away from anyone, literally and virtually so I thought I would just write now. Not that you would miss my post.A few minutes before this, I'd just finished ironing my clothes. Then I sent an sms to mom. My life seems pretty boring and plain, huh? Then read starfish's blog and it's still at the other tab, I'm listening to the songs in his jukebox. Everytime I finish reading his blog, my eyes will get all weird trying to readjust after reading all the white in black. I'm not one who really into the logic of choosing color for web. Most of the time I choose colors based on my liking, but there is really a logic in using them. Not that I think he should change the colors combination of his blog, because I would choose white against black myself
So how have I been? Felt rather sucky today. Stuffs as usual. Today I just couldn't bring myself to do any of it. I feel so disorganized, which makes me feel rather irresponsible and perhaps incompetent. Then I also feel that I am getting fatter *sigh* The arms are bulging. However most significantly, I miss him dearly *sigh* I guess it's a good thing that I've said it out in the open (at least to him because many people are still clueless about it) because now all the other things that I want to say is nothing compared to what I had said. Though perhaps I must not say this kind of things. I should just contain it inside. Well, he never reads this blog, so I guess it's okay?
Went for dinner with Starfish, NanSee, La Gioia, Gascoigne, and Lois on Tuesday night. Starfish forgets to mention Lois in his post
Talking about Rista, that girl went to Sidney alone. I was kinda jealous about it but truth be told I may not have enough courage to do it myself. Hence why I am praying for courage. Geez, what am I talking about, I haven't been praying seriously or regularly for that matter. I really need to go through my life, throw away the junk and look into things which have been abandoned. Darn! If I start talking and elaborating about my life, I just get depressed easily. So good night peeps!
:) eKa @ 9:33:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Went to watch American Gangster with la Gioia on Friday night. The movie was okay, I think. I was tired and there was such seriousness in it, but I think it wasn't as seriously heavy as Michael Clayton. I thought Denzel Washington was awesome. He had such a charisma and was very commanding on the screen. I think Russell Crowe was okay, I found that his character was overshadowed by Denzel's who as his characters was in the story, he pretty much controlled the movie. His character was ruthless and I kinda wish I can be as ruthless as him. It was quite an interesting story. At the end of the movie though, I was thinking that they should make a sequel of the movie, of how Frank Lucas helped the police and how Detective Richie Roberts went from chasing and prosecuting Frank Lucas to defending him. I think that would be another interesting story to watch.Had much difficulty to wake up Saturday morning. I decided to continue with my morning engagement, although it's so expensive now and Carl is not joining us anymore. There's many things that made me wanna stop. One was being able to just go out happily on Friday night and not having to wake up early on Saturday, another was the fact that many people I knew, like Carl, wouldn't be there anymore. Then I thought, I started this with a goal and an objective and so I have to be committed to this. This is something that I do for myself and I shouldn't disappoint myself. I want to be good at it and so I will do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes me?
I haven't heard from the Mr again since the last message I got. I pretty much in need to hear him right now because I think he would understand me and perhaps encourage me. Need him more because I had a talk with Mr. A this week and he said I was too uptight and over analyzed thing. He thought I needed to get laid *sigh* I think he's pretty disappointed that I shut down something that made me happy. But Mr, you would think that I did the right thing. Tell me that *sigh* Unfortunately the right thing isn't always the happiest thing to do.
Bought a book on Saturday. It's A Fortune-Teller Told Me: Earth-bound Travels in the Far East by Tiziano Terzani. Un italiano. I saw this book back in December but didn't think much of it, but suddenly I had the urge of buying it. I was almost afraid that I couldn't locate the book because I didn't remember what the title was and what the author's name was, except for the fact that he was Italian. The book wasn't at the place where I saw it in December, but I found it anyway. I like to call it as fate
:) eKa @ 7:52:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Decided to take an afternoon off for a much needed break. Been wanting to watch lots of movie but the people whom I asked to, just weren't interested or just didn't have the time to accompany me. I have to remind myself to stop being desperate in asking people to accompany me. Remember Eka, you can do things on your own and isn't it fun to watch a movie on your own?There's actually quite a number of movies that I want to watch and as such I was really wondering if I should squeeze in 2 movies today. Vinny said yes, it's fun, a movie marathon. Osh said yes, I should give myself a break, and 2 is nice, binge but not overly done
I love The Darjeeling Limited. Obviously it was done before Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. I hope he is feeling better now. Owen Wilson was just the typical Owen Wilson in this movie. I found his character to be quite lovable. All the 3 brothers in this movie actually really had their own charm and charisma and I don't think that anyone shadowed the others. I must say, Adrien Brody is handsome. Love him! Story wise, I found it to be really good though some people may find it weird. I love how the story developed. I love the chemistry between the actors, their quirkiness and the silly things that happened in the movie (there were many) as well as the sad ones. I do recommend this movie to all of you, if you want something different. It's not really a mainstream taste but I don't think it's that hard to digest and enjoy.
Next up was Michael Clayton which I watched because I think I've read good review about it and because I think George Clooney would have chosen something worth working for. Hmmm ... I found this one would be harder to swallow than The Darjeeling Limited. I think it wasn't bad but I can see how many people would think that the movie is boring. George Clooney was of course a good actor. There's Tilda Swinton there. I found her to be fatter in this movie. She was also a good actress. Again playing the bad guy and again being so good at it that I disliked her from the beginning, even before her character did anything. The story was not too complicated to follow basically, however the conversation could be quite difficult to follow, at least for me. If you want something heavy, then you can go and try this movie. I don't find it to be particularly brainy but it is very very serious. I don't think there's much fun in it.
So that's the movies reviews. Finally heard something from the Mr today. I miss him. Glad to hear him, that means he's still alive. He had such a timing though. I'm now gonna tell you another first that I did. Darn, I am nervous as I am writing this. I do not know why I bother writing this though, because I kinda hope my cousin will not read this so that she will not be asking questions to me. This will come as a shock to many people, I think they too will be asking questions to me. I think only 2 people in my universe know what exactly I'm talking about and one of it had received the full story. So with me not wanting to be interrogated, why bother writing it down? I guess because I can and because I should say what I want to say and sometime writing it down makes things clearer.
So yesterday, for the first time in my life I told someone I like him. Yes, I did. Are you screaming "Oh My God!!!" and "Who???". It didn't matter. I had wanted to say it since last month if you remembered the third post before this. I had already wanted to say something when I felt things were going hazy. Finally I did because I just have to, because things have to be cleared and defined. So since I had planned to say it, I had given thoughts on how to say it, the sentences to say, but when it happened, it didn't really come out as I had planned it though I think I got the point across. I think your next question is "How did it go? How was it? So?". Well, the reason why I told him because I needed him to understand how I see what we are and we do see what we are differently. It's not about me saying how I feel and hoping that he feels the same. It's more about how to deal with us when I obviously have more feeling towards him now. The conclusion was ... I don't know, maybe I don't understand. There's no conclusion, I guess. He said okay and told me to do as I please. So I guess the good thing is that now he would understand why I do what I do.
I don't really know how I felt after I did it. Is it relieved, happy, sad? I don't know. Anyway this got me thinking that I have to do another first, to say I like / love you to the right guy, a guy who is really for me
Allora, buonanotte tutti!
:) eKa @ 11:33:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Stories from Home + The First Week
Hello people. I'm back. Landed at 11 plus last Sunday night and it has been quite a first week. Before I get to that, let's talk about home. This is going to be a very very long post.Home was okay, I suppose. My brother has moved permanently back to the house so that was unexpected for me. Met the new niece, Mikaela, and she's small. I think I haven't been around babies for a long time, especially newborns that I didn't realize how small and fragile they are. She was most of the time asleep of all the times I saw her. Can't wait to see her bigger and moving instead of lying down.
Met with the girls of course, though it was only 1 dinner with Emilia. Went with Marlisa and Dewi to a few places which were new to me. I felt how different things are now that all are working. We got to eat in restaurants instead of the usual cheaper places. Of all the places we went, I was delightfully satisfied with 2 places, Death by Chocolate and another one which I think its name was The Honeymoon Dessert. We also went to watch a movie, which we don't normally do. Actually the term watching a movie didn't really apply because we ended up watching different movies. We went to the Blitz Megaplex at Grand Indonesia, which reminded me of The Cathay in Singapore. I'm glad that they took my ideas. It was on a Monday so it was so much cheaper at Rp25.000, which is around S$4. On any other day, it costs Rp 40.000, which is I think less than S$7. I kinda think it was expensive for an Indonesian standard. Sometime I think things in Jakarta are expensive, comparable to Singapore, a sentiment that Osh also shares. It's worse because you don't actually earn much in Jakarta.
Anyways, back to the movies. I wanted to watch I Am Legend and Dewi wasn't leaning towards that, so she and Marlisa watched National Treasure. I thought I Am Legend was okay. It didn't make much impression for me, I wonder if it's because of the noisy other audiences which at one point I had to tell off. I thought Will Smith was cool though. In then end I did watch National Treasure again with my brother (yes, I think everyone was shocked hearing that) and my cousin, Lisa. I finally understood part of the movie. I finally heard that Nicholas Cage actually exclaimed, "The debt that all men pay is: DEATH". Things made sense then. I still loved that movie. Why I ended up watching it was because the options were that, I Am Legend, Mr. Magorium, and Bee Movie. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to watch Bee Movie so I chose National Treasure instead.
I also had a haircut, which was shorter and surprising for many people. My first 2 days back in Singapore was all about the hair *sigh* Everyone was looking at me. The funniest comment was me being so different, like another person, and yet I sounded the same, and the guy felt totally weird about it. I didn't really like it a first, because it was short and weird for me, totally out of the ordinary. At one point, I felt like an indie boy. Surprisingly mom loved it and my cousin, Marlisa, thought it was cool. The haircut was quite expensive for my Indonesian standard at Rp150.000 but it was only 23.80 in singapore dollars. I have to mention that I really think things in Jakarta are not all cheap. It feels strange how my friends back home can manage their lifestyle. They carry 2 mobile phones, several credit cards, in which I pointed to Dewi, doesn't it feel like it's encouraging consumerism? My mom pointed that they don't have rent to pay, hence they can manage that lifestyle. I don't know, maybe things can be cheap there, it's just it feels expensive for me at the surface. Dewi did point out that she didn't carry that lifestyle of eating out in restaurant much, only on occasions like when I'm in town. We did have grown as she pointed out, from our teenagers day of not having much money and having to save pocket money to eat at KFC to now, being able to eat at more expensive places. I hope all of us will continue to be prosperous.
Other than with the girls, I didn't really go out much. Love the food at home. Mom and dad seemed to be doing okay. I actually did a medical check, and it was scary when the result came. Like I was waiting for an exam result and I never got nervous about that except in my university days. I was scared because if something was wrong with me, my mom and dad were sure to scold me. Being 20 something, I suppose to be healthy. It was nerve wrecking when my dad went through the result. Surprisingly my sugar level is normal and my cholesterol level is desirable
What else there is to say. There are things about Jakarta that I do not like. I hate that it's not feasible to travel around but people may argue it's because I haven't tried busway. I hate that it worried me when it rained because we were all waiting for flood. I hate it that running water in my house is difficult, but I guess it's just my house. Dad finally got the pump (I think that's what it's called) fixed, but on my last day! I hate what's on tv, I think the majority of it are junk. Infotainment still rules. The newspaper wrote that there are 210 episodes of infotainment programmes a week and I think that's correct, with around 10 tv stations and 3 infotainment programmes a day, every day of the week, well you got those unnecessary news of who's getting a divorce, who broke up, as if they are so important. Over and over again. It's stupid but I actually watched them *sigh* Since we are in the point of unimportance, can I say that I really don't like Ahmad Dhani. I think he's actually exploiting his kids to portray how good he is. I also felt that one of his music video with his band The Rock was pretty pedophiliac. It's just sick. Indonesia has a really weird censorship system.
However I did enjoy Supermama Seleb Show in Indosiar though I also say that this show is brainless. It's a live show which featured non-singer celebrities competing in a singing contest with the support of their moms. They started with 5 contestants and that 5 contestant can get an hour of airtime though they only sung for 5 minutes or so. The crazy comment from the commentators and the funny brainless interaction with the hosts are what made me glued to it. I told mom the fact that we can get an hour of content without commercials also made it a good watch. So with each contestant getting around 1 hour, that programme actually lasted around 4-5 hours. Starting at 6 pm and finishing sometime after 11 pm. Yes it is nuts. It's a live show, mind you. I haven't really watched it from start to finish myself. Regardless of it not being of much quality (my brother rolled his eyes when my mom and I were watching it), I had a really good laugh and I liked it. Yes, Indonesia's tv stations are a thing of their own. You have all those things on tv, you have shows that made fun of our political figures, I wonder if those shows really help the country and yet at the same time you can watch english premier league and italian serie A matches and NBA games freely on tv. I think you can watch live football matches almost everyday. With Euro 2008 coming, the Indonesians will have a good time watching the matches.
The new year was a surprisingly nice one. Didn't have anything special planned. Dinner was at our front neighbour's house which started and finished early. I left earlier to watch some Indonesian movies on tv. Then suddenly I realized all the noisy sounds of fireworks and firecrackers. I peeked through the window, you can actually see the fireworks, so I went up to the balcony and you could see them lighting up the sky, left, right and center. I went up again to the balcony at around 11:30 pm and enjoyed it while trying to take some pictures. The rest of the family were already asleep though mom said she did see it through her windows. I was there alone with the oh so many mosquitoes, but I didn't mind, I was glad I got to enjoy it alone. I will put the pictures, but mind you it was difficult for me to take the pictures. I didn't know when and where they were going to appear. I thought it was pretty cool and awesome that I could see such view in the uninteresting (perhaps dull) Tomang that I live in. The only unfortunate thing was perhaps the tall houses around me that obstructed the view. We are all tall houses actually. At one point my mind actually wondered and thought that the fireworks sounds sounded like explosion. I wondered if that how it felt living in war zone and hearing explosion after explosion and how weird it was to be feeling safe from where you are. Yes, my mind is weird.
What other things to comment about? Indonesian movies? There are a lot of them and I also think that many of them are brainless. One of them which was showing in cinema had a title like Giving Birth in a Grave in English. Does it even sound interesting? If I move back to Indonesia for good, I would definitely miss Singapore cinemas. So many movies to watch here. There were some indonesian movies which were showing on tv and as much as I think as a whole they lack many things, but perhaps the good news was that there were parts of the movie which were amusing and nice, and some of the actors did give quite a good performance considering the weak stories that some of these movies carry. Let me share my experience watching this particular movie on tv. It's called I Love You, Om. With title like that, I seriously didn't expect much. I thought it was some cheesy love stories. I actually was a bit late watching it on tv. What caught my attention was when one of the character, a 12-year-old girl said "Om Gaza". A name which was familiar to me. So I watched the movie, which was about this girl falling in love with this guy, Gaza, who is around 25+, hence he was called Om and how this guy was also in the end falling for this little girl. How silly is that! Oh God, I was actually laughing and rolling my eyes when I was watching this movie. It was perhaps could have been a good one, if the story about this guy falling for the little girl had been elaborated more and the development of those feeling and relationship had been explored more. Being the typical Indonesian movie, there should be drama and there were many silly ones, but let's focused on the fact that Om Gaza finally died because he was hit by a car who was trying to avoid Gaza's ex-girlfriend's car. I was actually laughing on his dying scene despite of the little girl screaming "I love you, Om"
*sigh* I really think my country is dysfunctional. It has so many problems and issues. When I'm here, I miss it, I want to be at home but that sentiments are so bias because when I'm at home, I am always on a holiday. So I do not have the stress that I have here. When I was there, I realize how frustrating it can be for me there, with the systems and all the dysfunctional things that they have but perhaps I can adjust. I am after all an Indonesian. With the many internal issues that Indonesia has, I think sometime it is so out of tune with the outside world. Many things are happening in this world and Indonesians are oblivious about that, and keep on being the Indonesians that they are. The same sentiments is comparable to being here and being in tune with things like the arts, advancement of technology, books, movies and such and yet these things are so unimportant with many social issues happening in the world, happening in countries like mine. The other day I was talking to Osh about how Singapore had made us too soft to face the streets of Jakarta and I also wondered if all the convenience here has made us such an easy complainer. Life in Jakarta is so much tougher but people do not complain about the long journey they have to take to work, about working overtime and getting the money that they get, about the buses being ugly, about the dust and pollution, about many things. They take it as part of their life and I feel I am not as tough as I thought I was.
Okay, I think I have said much about home. I will be back in less than a month for Chinese New Year. After that, it seems life as per normal here in Singapore. I seriously hope not so. Something has to change.
My first week back had been hell. For the first time on Friday, I stayed until 10:30+ at the park. It was really good to have Vinny and La Gioia with me. I had a good dinner with them and I think we deserved to be treated. Yesterday I went to the park again and actually spent a whole day there. Vinny came for a while. Then I sent my 2 helpers off at around 3 pm. I felt a bit bad for keeping them so long. After they were gone, I was alone and waiting for stuff, so I wandered around the space. Then I saw a picture of Astley on Ms.3L's desk. He was laughing happily with Ms.3L and somehow I got so sad and tears were actually forming. I saw the collage that Jean made and I wanted to cry. For the first time, I realized I miss him. I miss how the last time I was at the park on a Saturday, he was there. I had wished that he could be there yesterday. All this time I just wondered how he is, but now I do miss seeing him, talking to him, and hearing his nonsense. I had to get out of the room because I didn't want to end up sobbing and not focusing on the tasks at hand. However when I was at my desk, tears didn't stop to form. At that moment, Eric came. So I had to wipe my eyes and pulled myself together. I wondered if Astley knew about this and sent someone there, so that I stopped all this crying nonsense. I don't know, I was really tired yesterday and obviously mentally I'm not so well with all the things that I have to endure this week. I had a feeling that something is still wrong but what can I do about it. I hope this coming week is a better one.
Okay let me leave you with fireworks pictures. They actually came up small, but I cropped it to focus on the nice explosion and they also received some colour treatment. Ciao!
PS: I do hope ex president Soeharto can die in peace. I think his time is soon though I hope not so soon. I wonder if what MM Lee said on tv would soften and remind Soeharto's many critics that our ex president wasn't all that bad. I kinda pity him, to be so sick like this and being mocked by people. I think people should acknowledge him more and give him the proper respect.
:) eKa @ 7:30:00 PM • 0 comments
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