Life Until Further Notice

I'm back here in Singapore. Not that you know that I was away. I went home for Chinese New Year. Speaking of which, Happy Chinese New Year May you be more prosperous this coming year!

I went home last week, on Tuesday and just got back last night. I arrived pretty fast last night. The plane wasn't really full. For the first time, mom just dropped me off and took off. I had much time, so for the first time I was exploring the inside of Soekarno - Hatta airport. I actually bought things inside there, some birthday presents for people whom I think will appreciate it.

Chinese New Year at home was okay. For me Chinese New Year actually felt like a sequence of things that we have to complete. I didn't have much excitement in it, to be honest. It feels like things that I have to participate on, the praying, the meeting of relatives and such. So yeah, that's pretty much it. Mom went back to work on the second day of Chinese New Year. I guess in general, the family is just not too hype up about it anymore.

Home was okay, I suppose. I miss eating at home, darn it! More talk about depression later. Met up with the girls twice and how I love them. I don't have this kind of friendship with anyone else. I wonder if they do. My cousin did say in our ride home that she felt that she could talk very openly to us and she couldn't really do so with her other friends. I love talking with them. Talking to them is different compared to me talking to my other friends, even the Indonesian. Well, for one, they can actually keep up with my speed and volume of talking. Then we are just the crazy comfortable us with each other. I really miss them. I miss them when I was with them 'cause then I knew what I miss. Dewi was saying that we should (and she hopes) that we still stay in touch even when we have kids. I said most probably our kids going to go to Samaria as well. Whatever it is, the biggest hope among us is that we stop being "jomblo" The girls also gave me my first birthday present of the year. Haven't really opened it, hope I can put it to good use.

Talking about present, perhaps my first present was from mom. She got me a new phone. The one that I want. I actually was ready to buy it myself, but when I went to the mall, there wasn't any stock. I started to think if I wasn't fated with the phone. Then my bro was kind enough to go and get it for me. I think the new phone is pretty but I can't help feeling sentimental with the old phone, which stayed with me for 3 years. The previous phone before that stayed with me for 4 years, so I guess I'm pretty good at keeping stuffs? Anyway, what made me sad about parting with the old phone was the fact that I couldn't transfer all the sms that I had. I kept some of the sms-es sent to me. Some of it were as records of who say what, and some of it were shocking and some were purely for sentimental reasons, because there were sms-es that made me smile. I guess I really have to let go and stop clinging to the past.

I didn't really go anywhere when I was at home, except to the uncles' houses during Chinese New Year and when I was out with the girls. Nothing much to tell about home or Jakarta for that matter. There are many Indonesian movies being released. I guess the production houses can actually make money from the movies, because if not I don't know how they can sustain. Some of it actually seemed interesting though I wouldn't put much hope on the story lines and the acting ability of the actors. I was interested to watch some of the movie, including Love which is released today.

There were some rain, which of course traumatize many Jakartans for fear of flood, but thank God none happened. Not in our area at least. Some of the rain was really heavy though. I was thinking perhaps that's how it feels to be standing under a tap of water that God opened fully. There were strong winds as well. Still we still have to be thankful that we were okay, we have an okay home. I guess this is one thing that I should really try to do more this year. Be more thankful for everything. Saying grace more often. Say thank you to God more often because the truth is, life has been kind to me.

Okay, that's pretty much it. Not much to tell about home. I survived today. Didn't really sleep much last night. I think I'm acceptant now to the fact that I don't sleep well in Singapore. Why? I don't know. So I woke up earlier than I wanted to, despite of me being tired and sleeping quite late. Did ironing and laundry this morning. Unpacked some stuff, while some will just stay in the suitcase. Oh yeah, I arrived last night in my room with a notice of a higher rent. I thought it was such a mood killer but then I saw that the hike wasn't much, so see there's a need for me to be thankful. Back to today. Dealt with a few stuff today. I supposed my engine wasn't warm enough that I took a while to solve something but in the end I did and with every small taste of success, I felt happy and proud with myself.

Had a weird feeling about being in Singapore today. It just felt surreal for me that I'm in Singapore. I was looking everywhere around me and tried to absorb all the things here in Singapore, though these are the things that I see pretty much everyday and I only left for a week. I think this strange feeling is contributed to the fact that depression is kicking in because this is my life, pretty much. Back to the old routine. Yes things are changing but I don't know, I just feel trapped in this life which is not making me smile sincerely. I know I have to be thankful nonetheless. Maybe I should really take flight. I have around 1 month to decide. I hope by my birthday, I have some enlightenment.

Since I don't have any interesting thing to say, so ciao peeps. It's Valentine day, my cousin's birthday. Happy Valentine day to you all. I will leave you with a picture which I like to call Cats on the Roof. It was taken from my house's balcony of the roof of the old house in front of us. The 3 cats were cuddling because it just rained quite heavily with the strong wind. The wire you see is electricity wire, a weird concept for Singaporean I think As usual, it was photoshop enhanced. Sadly, I don't think it would be good enough for Carl's Gatti Del Mondo exhibition. A short story about these Jakartan cats. They pooped in my mom's flower pots. Instead of digging the soil, dropped their poo poo, and covered it back, they just dropped their poo like that and that made my mom nuts. City cats, I say. Take care peeps!

:) eKa @ 8:38:00 PM •

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