American Gangster

Went to watch American Gangster with la Gioia on Friday night. The movie was okay, I think. I was tired and there was such seriousness in it, but I think it wasn't as seriously heavy as Michael Clayton. I thought Denzel Washington was awesome. He had such a charisma and was very commanding on the screen. I think Russell Crowe was okay, I found that his character was overshadowed by Denzel's who as his characters was in the story, he pretty much controlled the movie. His character was ruthless and I kinda wish I can be as ruthless as him. It was quite an interesting story. At the end of the movie though, I was thinking that they should make a sequel of the movie, of how Frank Lucas helped the police and how Detective Richie Roberts went from chasing and prosecuting Frank Lucas to defending him. I think that would be another interesting story to watch.

Had much difficulty to wake up Saturday morning. I decided to continue with my morning engagement, although it's so expensive now and Carl is not joining us anymore. There's many things that made me wanna stop. One was being able to just go out happily on Friday night and not having to wake up early on Saturday, another was the fact that many people I knew, like Carl, wouldn't be there anymore. Then I thought, I started this with a goal and an objective and so I have to be committed to this. This is something that I do for myself and I shouldn't disappoint myself. I want to be good at it and so I will do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes me?

I haven't heard from the Mr again since the last message I got. I pretty much in need to hear him right now because I think he would understand me and perhaps encourage me. Need him more because I had a talk with Mr. A this week and he said I was too uptight and over analyzed thing. He thought I needed to get laid *sigh* I think he's pretty disappointed that I shut down something that made me happy. But Mr, you would think that I did the right thing. Tell me that *sigh* Unfortunately the right thing isn't always the happiest thing to do.

Bought a book on Saturday. It's A Fortune-Teller Told Me: Earth-bound Travels in the Far East by Tiziano Terzani. Un italiano. I saw this book back in December but didn't think much of it, but suddenly I had the urge of buying it. I was almost afraid that I couldn't locate the book because I didn't remember what the title was and what the author's name was, except for the fact that he was Italian. The book wasn't at the place where I saw it in December, but I found it anyway. I like to call it as fate The book isn't a fiction. A fortune teller in Hongkong told this writer not to fly in 1993. He was a journalist based in Asia, so imagine how this piece of advice was really constraining for him. I kinda wished the book is about him saying the hell with the fortune teller and proved it all wrong, but he heeded the advice and this book told his stories of traveling all around Asia and also Europe by land and sea. You can imagine how interesting the stories from this travel can be. I've only read the first chapter which was pretty much the introduction. I found out that the writer had actually passed away in 2004 because of a tumor. It actually made me kinda sad. Anyways, I think I needed answers, answers about my life and a book is perhaps a wrong place to find those answers. I can imagine many people out there saying I should go out to the world, meet more people and such and such. However everything happened for a reason. I bought an unknown book because of the title, I like to think that perhaps the universe is nudging me to see something and somehow I'll find and understand something. I wish for courage though. I need courage a lot.

:) eKa @ 7:52:00 PM •

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