Saturday, April 17, 2010
Met Rista today for lunch :) She had a 12-hour transit here before she flies to Jakarta. I only met her for lunch because I had my usual saturday engagement this morning and so she went to meet up with her cousin first. She did a bit of shopping. I also got myself a few stuffs, which after I assessed my financial state just now, I shouldn't have spent money on unnecessary things :( You know, it's really nice that a foreigner can claim GST refund. Rista would be able to claim back around S$46 for her purchase today, that's not bad! It was really really nice to see her and just speak Indonesian. When she saw me, she commented that I looked good and prettier. Err ... pretty / beautiful is not really something that is associated to me so it was kinda surprising and flattering when she said that. It also brought into question, why the hell I am still single now. When we were waiting for our food to come, apparently there were some seconds in her head in which she was trying to analyze what's wrong with me or the universe, that I haven't had a boyfriend, ever!?! :D If you ask me why, I think it's perhaps because it's not the thing that I really want the most in my life right now. So I don't know ... my mom may argue, hence change your mind. Maybe. I don't know. In our lunch today, I was telling Rista that I just have certain things that I expect to see in "the guy" and also certain way in how I see things in life, and perhaps those are immature and selfish thoughts and so until I am able to be more mature in my thoughts, I will not gonna get any guy. But you see, "any guy" is not "the guy" and right now, I just don't want to settle. I don't want just "any guy", I want "the guy"! Maybe I will have him someday, maybe I will not. Maybe I will eventually settle. I don't know. Before she went in for the immigration check and we had to say goodbye, she said, don't worry, there'll definitely somebody for you. This really took me by surprise! Seriously?!?! After all that we talked about, we came back to this again? :P I suppose the fact that this thought came to my head really showed that having someone is really not on the top of my list :PSo anyway, Rista is going home for 2 weeks to prepare for her wedding in July. It's gonna be a mad rush. I really want to go to her wedding in Medan and have the chance to see Danau Toba. I've never been to Medan, so it's gonna be an exciting experience. However since there will most probably noone that I know of there, I kinda wonder if the trip will happen :( I am asking my mom if she's interested. Anyway, in the topic of love and such. I was telling Rista that her story is like 500 days of summer. She was with someone before and they were moving towards marriage. However towards the end, she just couldn't do it. I believe that there were other reasons, but some of it was because she wasn't willing to give up her life in Australia right now. But with her fiancee now, she's willing to do that although they actually haven't gone out for a long time. Yes, they do know each other for some time, but they are not in this boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for a long time and she's already very sure about this leap. I do ask her about this a few times. She said this guy just feels right and not just that, everything just falls into place easily. So maybe that's what it is, when it's right, it's right? It's so vague and I do have to say that I am not even sure that I believe that, that it could happen :D Okay, maybe I should just :P
This week has been alright, I think. In the spirit of being positive, I'm not gonna say negative things, even though I have nightmares haunting me and I have started not being able to sleep again :( Sometime it gets so bad that I wonder if I actually slept when I woke up :( Oh well. Today is day 10 of my medication. Last day! Finished one of the drugs after lunch today and I am left with another one that I had to take before I go to sleep. This one is the hardest part :( I feel happy that it's over but at the same time I feel rather worried if things are really getting better because so far things just feel strange for me :( Well, I just have to hope for the best. Okay, that's pretty much it peeps. Nothing interesting happened in my life. Take care all!
:) eKa @ 8:05:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I can list many things that go wrong this week, things that I have to endure that leave me dead spiritually. But after all the things that have happened this week, I'm gonna share the one that I actually don't really share with anyone. Aside from my parents (I don't know who they tell), there are only 3 other people that I told the details to. So why am I sharing it now? Well, you're still not gonna get the full details. It's just I feel like getting what concerns me the most in life currently out there. In a way, it's kinda me taking care of myself by getting it out of my chest.I know not many people read this blog, but just in case you do, maybe you remember that before I went home for Chinese New Year, I wrote that something really really bad and wrong happened in my body. I didn't do anything about it because I was just too freaked out to deal with it which actually is a really bad thing to do. So I went home and the bad thing that happened to my body stopped, but I did got sick went I went home and I had to see the doctor twice. So perhaps the body was just focused on going self-destroyed in other modes. So anyway, I realized the bad thing happened again this week. Well maybe it's been happening since I got back but perhaps I was in such a self-denial state that I haven't really looked into it but somehow this week I realized it happens again :'( So I finally got to see the doctor. Was feeling quite stressed out when I met her. She wanted to properly examine me but somehow or another she couldn't really do so and I think it's also because I was already quite freaking out. She did manage to do basic examination and she was optimistic about it. She gave me medications for 10 days which I am following quite religiously. But still the medications are stressing me out. Both her and her nurse were telling me not to be scared and take it easy, I will be fine. I hope I am. We have 10 days and I really hope things are going to get better. I don't even want to entertain the possibility that the problem can be more serious :'( I am trying to be positive about this and I'm focusing all the positivity that I can muster, in getting myself to be really okay. Right now we are in day 4. Taking the medication is not getting easier for me :'( Inspite of the nurse telling me that it'll get easier. So far there are changes, but they are strange changes, so I don't know if it's a good sign or bad :'( It doesn't seem good for me :( I can only pray that things will be better.
Seriously of all the things that bring me down, I wonder if I am being selfish and not strong enough for only wanting to focus on this. But seriously when people are just watching their own interest and not you, is it wrong that you yourself are watching your own interest. If noone is going to care for you, I believe you should care for yourself. In fact I believe in caring for yourself first and foremost. This belief has got something to do with me being in Singapore alone and handling a lot of things on my own. Sounds really selfish, but if you don't function well, you can't function well for others as well. At this point, if people gonna say my attitude is selfish and wrong, I'm just gonna say "Fuck you! You can go to hell". I'm tired and I just want to focus on having peace within me. Everybody else and their agenda can just shove it.
This afternoon as I was going back, I realized that Rista will be here next weekend. I'm very excited about that. Looking forward to be speaking Indonesian to someone who knows me although she will only be here for a few hours. Rista has her wedding date set and my best friend, Emilia, too. As well as my pen friend, Dagi, by the way. I wonder how my life will change with them getting married. Yes I know it sounds so strange that someone getting married change your life but I feel it can be. It's the beginning of the time when people closest to me are getting married and starting a new life and I am not. I think it will somehow change how I look and feel about certain things. We'll see.
This week has its own nice happenings as well. Somehow I can only think of 2 and one of them felt rather normal actually. Let's see if it sounds nicer if I wrote the other one this way. Vendredi, je l'ai vu et il m'a fait sourire. Chaque fois que le vois, mon coeur sourit. J'aime son parfum et je sais que je suis bizarre :P J'ai voulu dire "hi!" mais je ne l'ai pas fait. Lui me fait heureuse chaque fois que je le vois et je suis reconnaissante pour cela. Okay I got google translate to help me a lot with that. Aaaargghh ... so little time and so many things to put inside the brain. Alors, Bonne nuit tout le monde.
:) eKa @ 9:41:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Hello peeps. Managed to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid today and I love it. It's actually a kid / teenager movie and me being 28, of course it's rather alarming that I still get interested and captivated by this type of movie. I believe it's because there's a large part of me who seriously does not want to grow up and kinda never grows up.Anyway in Diary of a Wimpy Kid, I actually like the "sidekick" more, the boy named Rowley. His character just had so much confidence in him to be himself and not try to pretend to be someone else, someone "cooler". So it's kinda adorable and admirable. However, I do think that some things were a bit unrealistic about him and his character. For example when he showed up wearing something like a poncho, noone made fun of him. So that was kinda unrealistic. Even Betty in Ugly Betty got totally made fun of. However still, Rowley was so lovable, he's really such a nice and good friend. How about Rowley for a boy's name? :P The main character, Greg, kinda appeared as an ass for me, even though the movie is centered on him trying to make it in middle school. Well when you kinda have a character like Rowley at the other side, it's kinda hard to come as the more likeable one. The other kids were also interesting, like the Indian boy, Chirag Gupta, and the super weird boy, Fregley. Fregley was really really funny and he really had the look for it :) Well, I had fun watching this movie. It feels good to be laughing and to get away from my life for awhile.
On other news, I've gotten my passport. This reminded me that I have to start remembering the number. I also have to update this to Singapore's immigration and I also have to check the filing of my tax. One of the thing that I hate the most here is having to pay tax. Yes, I am sounding that unreasonable. Well, new passport, I have to christen it. Unfortunately, money is not really at a surplus. Alrighty, take care peeps! 2 days to go 'til long weekend.
:) eKa @ 8:21:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Hi guys, it's been awhile since I last wrote. So I'm gonna do this in points.1) This week, I applied for a new passport. The old one was expiring. The process was such a breeze. It's totally different than 5 years ago. I wrote my experience 5 years ago in this blog and apparently I had to come to the embassy 3 times, to apply, to get my picture and fingerprint taken, and to collect it. It cost so much more too last time, around S$100, I think. This time around it only cost S$35 and S$10 for the picture. I had planned to come earlier because I was expecting a long queue and yes there were people there even before the embassy was open, but there weren't as much people as I expected. There wasn't a line. Most of everyone was able to sit down in the waiting area. The embassy is open at 9, but when it was 9, the counter was still not opened yet and we were still waiting there. Then a girl (who I thought was pretty brilliant!) just stood up and started to stand in front of the counter. Just like that a line was formed behind her. We were such sheeps :P Come to think about it, I wonder if the officer instructed them to do so, or she just initiated it on her own. In the end I ended up having queue number 6 :) and the process took like around half an hour plus to complete. I just have to go back next week to collect it. The efficient process was such a joy! The area for passport renewal and visa application seemed to be so much bigger. At least that's what I thought. It's kinda brighter as well. I'm totally happy with the embassy's improvement. I do have to say that the embassy is pretty strict. You have to dress properly to go there. I think a lady was singled out because she was wearing a knee-length pants. Then I was called out for not wearing my pass around my neck. In my defence, I was a few metres away to the post where I had to exchange my pass to exit, hence I took it out :P I kinda like being at the embassy. I like being in Indonesian land. Of course I would have spoken differently if the process had been a nightmare :P
2) Since I finished so much earlier, I had a lot of time to kill. So in the end, I went to watch How To Train Your Dragon. Not in 3D. I am not into the whole 3D hype anymore. I thought How To Train Your Dragon was not bad. The ending was perhaps the most sobering ending that one has seen in a children animation movie since Shrek 1 in which Fiona actually turned as an ogre in the ending. This movie did have a happy ending but it came with a realistic ending which I think teach a good moral value to children and empower them if they should ever have to undergo similar fate. Not liking the dragons much except for Night Fury a.k.a Toothless who was very cute. The rest wasn't cute at all. For a dragon species which was described as being highly dangerous, I was quite disappointed to see how cute Night Fury is :P Reading some trivia about it, I found out that it was modelled after Stitch in Lilo and Stitch and I do can see quite a resemblance in them :) Anywho, yes, I would like to have a dragon like Toothless :P
3) Today I feel that things hasn't gone as well as I wanted. It's like there's certain things that I wanted and yet they didn't happen or they happened imperfectly. Maybe I am just putting too much expectation on things. The only sentence I can explain it is, things just don't settle well. I don't know if that makes any sense. Lunch was good though but even then the "ayam bakar" (grilled chicken) wasn't amazing. Maybe I'm just such a complainer on every single little thing. Anyway, wanted to use my GV birthday treat to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid however I couldn't use it for that :( so I settled for Remember Me. I wasn't interested in watching that and even after watching it, I thought it's one of those film that ended up on a Sunday afternoon on tv. I wasn't crazy about it. I am never one of those girls who go gugu-gaga over Robert Pattinson, so even with him inside it, it didn't interest me much. This is actually the first movie of him that I saw. He is handsome but yeah I feel nothing of him and nothing of this movie as well.
4) I suddenly remembered what happened yesterday. I was having lunch in a canteen and suddenly my eyes went into this guy who just walked through the door. My God! Lo and behold, it was the guy whom I had a crush on back in my NUS days. It's been perhaps 6-7 years since I last saw him and by a twist of fate, he just walked into my world again. Well, one would argue it's a sign and so on but I'm just as shy as ever. So I just blushed and saw him walking around. I kinda have to say I don't have any feeling towards him anymore, at all. It's kinda weird in a sense to be seeing this guy whom you once had intense feeling for and now you don't. It's weird :P
5) Over that lunch too, YeeMaggio whom I was having lunch with was talking about how sad and kinda depressed she feels about her life right now, since she is having a change in her universe. I told her that I couldn't believe that she also feels her life kinda sucks. She said she thinks everybody does and people manage to somehow survive it because it's not in their face so much and when it's really hitting them, that's when all energy are sucked out like a kryptonite to a Superman. I actually would hate to see her go, but I kept on telling her that things might actually be better.
You see, I met my Italian classmates around 2 weeks ago and one message that I took from those successful ladies is be positive. Our energy is like a magnet and we are attracting similar energy to us. So when you feel so negative all the time, bad things just come to you naturally. In my case, it makes me realize that people around me, a lot of them, are depressed with their lives (with the exception of Vivy). So I am trying to be positive and hey reading all that I have written all this time, you know it's not easy for me to do so. I'm trying, trying hard. Right now, I am just making a mental effort of not making a negative statement and as mentioned by Carl, not sigh. I told Oshie about this and asked him to be positive as well. I know it's not easy, but I'm just hoping collective positiveness (is that a noun?) from people around me will raise us up instead of bringing us down. God knows, I am tired of having to comfort people when noone actually bothers to ask me how I am and comfort me.
6) Speaking of selfish people, well I just want to complain about snobbish people. Geez, some people just don't see that they are being such an ass when they're talking about their successful life. Hellooooo!!! There are common people living here. We don't have your life, your lifestyle, and perhaps your wealth. So shut the fuck up. They are so into themselves that they don't see anything wrong with what they are doing. I hate it when people come to me to boast about their recent success or such. In a way, I was thinking this kinda attitude is what get you so unsuccessful in your personal stuff, like in your relationship or family. They are lacking in empathy. It kinda make them pretty fake. I like more humbling people who drop what they are, what they do, how much they earn for a real conversation with you. I am thankful that I have the chance to meet some of this humble people and from them I actually learn from what they are saying. They are just sharing sincerely. Not because they want to teach you because they think they are so mighty successful.
Wow, I got quite fiery in the end ya? Oh well, I think that's all from my life in the past 2 weeks. Looking forward for the next week :) I don't even mind that this Saturday is going to end :) I hope I can continue feeling like this :D Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 8:50:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Hi peeps. I turn 28 today. It's been quite an emotional day today. I'm not gonna write it here. I've written what I wanted to write in my diary, including the reference to 4 x 7. Since it's so personal, I'm not sharing it here.I spent today with myself. I didn't treat myself to anything special. I did buy myself an overpriced ice cream. S$6/cup! It made me miss the days when I was in Italy, getting gelato at 1.50 - 2 euro and I could choose different flavours. Over here 1 scoop of ice cream can cost more than a modest lunch! Not that they taste bad but it's just sometime so not worth it. I really miss having gelato in Italy.
So today, I had breakfast, went to watch a movie, went to pray, and got my lunch/dinner. The movie was kinda a last minute plan. There's isn't any one movie that interest me currently that in the end I settled with Green Zone, starring Matt Damon. I thought it was a good movie and Matt Damon was really really cool in it, even more so than when he was in Bourne Identity, I think. I am not that knowledgeable on the war in Iraq so I don't really know how true or how close the movie is to the truth. But we all know that up to this point, the US cannot really say that they found any WMD or traces of it in Iraq. WMD is weapon of mass destruction, in case you're wondering. If you don't know what it stands for, it may take you longer to understand what they're talking about, because they just refered to it as WMD. I like how the story is. I think it is a good reflection of how things work in this world, that everything is not black and white and eventhough you may find certain things to be the right one, it may not be so for other people. Matt Damon's character kinda went off course to investigate why the intels he's been getting were always wrong. He went on his own course, followed his own instint, even after his colleague pointed to him that it wasn't the order that was given to them. I think anyone in the military will agree that following order is of the utmost importance. So he went on his investigation helped by a CIA agent, uncovering clues one by one, until he discovered that a high ranking US official had been lying about the existence of WMD in Iraq. A high level Iraqi general told this US official that there's no WMD and yet the official said that there's is WMD in Iraq which of course ultimately led to the Iraq "invasion" by the US to find this elusive WMD. In the end, Matt Damon found the high level Iraqi general but then he was shot by an Iraqi who had been helping him because the Iraqi hated what this general did when he was in power. After that, Matt Damon's character sent his report about what had been happening to all the journalist covering the war in Iraq. I give you much spoiler, I'm sorry. But here's my take on the movie.
One, what Matt Damon and the CIA agent were doing was perhaps seen as the right thing to do. But like in any country, or any organization, or company, sometime the right thing to do is not the course that the people in power choose. Being the small minority thinking the other way around and in the case of them, choosing to act on it, they could actually be in deep trouble. In the case of Matt Damon's character, I'm sure after he sent the email with classified information, he could be persecuted by the military court. I guess everything is not always black and white and it is frustrating when you feel that people are doing the wrong thing and making the wrong decision and you cannot do anything about it, that you are being shut down, and you are deemed as a liability for not being aligned with them. In the case of Matt Damon's character who thought he was working to help the Iraqi, it sure sucks when the Iraqi he was trying to help, was siding with the people who were doing the wrong thing, eventhough they had different reasons for coming to the same conclusion. I feel this kinda thing is really a real reflection of how things work in this world.
Two, I do feel thankful for my life eventhough many times I don't appreciate it. I remember some new years ago, standing at my house's balcony and watching the fireworks appear on the sky, with sounds like bullets and bombs being fired. I was thinking it's perhaps how people feel in a war area, seeing fire light up their sky. Unfortunately not beautiful fireworks. In this movie, you can see violence broke on a common neighbourhood area and you really wonder how people actually live there! It made feel really thankful that I'm not there and at the same time I also get when people say that God is unfair. Like why how can He let people suffer like that? And the only answer that we can give ourselves is God has a reason *sigh* When you're in that situation, it's not very comforting, isn't it?
Hmmm ... I guess that's all peeps. I have nothing else to say. I don't know how I am going to survive this coming week. One breathe at a time I guess. Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 8:36:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Hey peeps. I had paella for lunch and waffle + ice cream for tea time and yet I am terribly hungry right now. I don't know why, things just don't settle well and correctly today. Something is just not 100% right *sigh* This morning, I wanted to have breakfast and yet with my buses coming late, I didn't have time to do so :( We started today's session with changes. We don't get Mr. P anymore and people were wondering why, hmm ... I guess Mr. P is like someone you like and hate at the same time. He's not around and you wonder why. When he's around, you dislike the torture. Anywho, we get Mdm. S now. She's okay. I feel that things are moving slower now, but I guess everyone else feel more secure with her. Yeni is not joining us anymore so that's sad. Little boy Nicky is also not among us either. I kinda miss him as well, because towards the end he became rather vocal and did say funny things. I also think it's better if there's another male other than Raggio in a room full of ladies. Oh well.After which I went to watch Alice in Wonderland in 3D with NanSee. I don't know, these days if a movie comes in a 3D version, I would end up choosing the 3D instead of the 2D version. I still don't know if it makes a difference. In the case of Alice, I think it doesn't because I feel that the movie will still be wonderful in 2D and anyway the story or the adventure to be more correct was really good that all the other things were kinda secondary. To be honest, I was never a fan of Alice in Wonderland. When I was young, the story was kinda too crazy and weird for me that rather than leaving me feeling happy, interested, and curious, I ended up having a bit of nightmare. So when the movie came out, I wasn't too excited about it either, even though there's Johnny Depp in it. The fact that it's a Tim Burton's movie was more of a turn off because he's well known for making things darker and he just have a weird sense of comedy? I thought he made Willy Wonka to be such a weirdo, almost to the point of being scary :( I did however enjoy very very much Edward Scissorhands. Johnny Depp was in that one as well, I thought it was brilliant. Oh I also like Big Fish. So anyway, why in the end I wanted to watch this movie was I think simply because this is a very talk-about movie, everyone is talking about it and gonna watch it. There's a lot of hype around it and also for me, it's because there's Johnny Depp in it. Man! I think he's a really cool actor. I think he did well in this movie though some of the manic expression that he made, we have seen it before. I even thought at some point his character, Mad Hatter, was channeling Jack Sparrow :P
I thought the movie was really good. I like the story. The scenes were quite beautiful and at the same time you can see that's it's really Tim Burton's style. The cast was also really good. The girl who played Alice was so likeable. Helena Bonham Carter was evil. She's just really good at playing these kinda characters. I like how this is a different kind of evil, a more selfish kind. She's still the scariest in Harry Potter. I like Anne Hathaway as well. She's just funny too watch. All her mannerism of being kind and nice were funny. The cheshire cat was actually cute and adorable. I like it!!! The cheshire cat used to be the one that scared me the most. When I was young, the grin could give me nightmare. However I like the cheshire cat in this movie, I guess he's the second most adorable cat in a movie after the cat in Shrek? Oh I have to also say I love hearing Alan Rickman's voice as the caterpillar, though I could only remember his name after going to wikipedia. I'm really really looking forward to see Professor Snape again. Do watch it people. The story was nice, it's really like an adventure. At one point, I don't even want it to end. Hmmm ... I guess it's one correct thing that I did today :) Oh yeah, like when in imdb, they will give you trivia or goof and such, well I am going to give you one. At the beginning of the movie, Alice's dad was talking about cities in Asia and mentioned Jakarta. Well at that period of time, Jakarta wouldn't have been around. It would have been known as Batavia instead :)
A bit of story to share. This week I was so close to closing my life here in Singapore and moving back to Jakarta. It was really really close, that I was thinking of things to close over here and things to start over there. I was thinking about having my dad help me with transportation, having cable tv and internet connection at home. I was thinking about my room which gonna actually be my "room" with actual personal stuff and how the other room which is kinda my brother's walk in closet now is gonna be my walk in closet as well. It was quite weird and perhaps frightening how ready I was to start a life there and leaving my life here. You see, a door presents itself to me. I was quite surprised that it came my way. Something when it happens, do happen really fast. Things were looking interesting and I was actually excited about the opportunity it presents and God knows how I haven't been excited about something for a long long time :( Unfortunately not all the variables are right and so I couldn't make the move *sigh* Maybe it is a good thing that it doesn't work out. But I cannot help feeling a bit sad that finally someone wants me and yet I cannot take them :(
It was surprising that my mom was also against me coming back. I don't know how she would react but I really didn't expect for her to really say I should be staying here. I thought she would be neutral. NanSee was convinced my mother would want me to go back. So perhaps my mother does know me better than anyone else. When people back home asked me when I was going to come back for good, they kinda didn't put into consideration that I do have a life here. Yes, it is a crappy life but it's still a life in which I am in charge of. After 10 years, I have built relationships here. I do have friends here. Very very very few friends, but I do know some people and most of all I have my independence and things that I do here. Perhaps my mother realizes that and she realizes that I do have to give up a lot here. So unless the situation back home can tip the scale, she feels that I am giving way too much. I see it as a sign from God. I think when it's right, it will be right and right now it's not right yet.
Speaking of home, here are a few pictures from home that I didn't turn to black and white. They're kinda unsuitable to be turned to black and white anyway. If you wonder why am I talking about black and white, well because I did this. So here you can see some pictures in colors. Jakarta has been having rain, so you gonna see some rain droplets studies that I did. Then there's the sunset and the shadow formed of my mother's plants. Not being able to get out much, I pretty much took a lot of pictures of the plants :P Then there's also a picture of one of the turtle of the house. It's the other turtle than the one in the black and white set. Okay, that's all, bon weekend everyone!
:) eKa @ 6:56:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, March 01, 2010
One thing that's perhaps quite obvious and predictable of me to be doing, is to catch up on the movies that I haven't watched since I was away. There were a few that I wanted to watch when I was at home, but again since I was sick, I wasn't able to go out :( Coming back here, I realized some of the movies that I wanted to watch was phasing out that the timing wasn't good :( I did manage to watch Nine with Vivy yesterday :)I was quite interested to watch this movie simply because of a line from one of the song which was showing in the trailer, which was be Italian!. The movie was pretty good because of the heavy weights who starred in it. Seriously, I thought the story was perhaps so-so but because of the amazing actor and actresses in it, the movie became quite amazing. Notice that I wrote actor in singular form, because basically there's just 1 major male character, Daniel Day-Lewis, who played Guido Contini, on which the story is centered on. Daniel Day-Lewis is just a real fine actor. He's so different in this movie. The movies which I remember him from are Gangs of New York and There Will Be Blood in which he played a real fierce man. So this role in Nine is totally different and he did amazing! He was so Italian despite of being British. I really really like him in this movie. I remembered a conversation we had with Francesca on a Sunday about Daniel Day-Lewis learning the craft of shoe making in Florence. I guess that experience helped him in becoming a real Italian :P Too bad he wasn't nominated for an academy award. I guess the competition was really tight.
With the actresses, they were just amazing as well. Nicole Kidman was stunningly beautiful. Penélope Cruz is somehow always seems to be perfect for this kinda manic passionated role. I cannot believed that someone once liken me to her character Maria Elena in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Marion Cotillard was a real good actress as well. I happened to watch her in Public Enemies during my holiday and I think she always did well in her movies. Obviously her most amazing role is in La Vie En Rose. She's looking pretty cute in Nine. Judi Dench and Sophia Loren are of course so experienced. Judi Dench was such a fun to watch and Sophia Loren being the celebrated her, one is really looking at her on every scene she's in. Overall the movie is good and the cast is amazing. I kinda miss Italia seeing the scenes *sigh*
There's a song that Daniel Day-Lewis sang at the beginning, entitled Guido's Song. I feel that the song represents me too. In a way, I get what the character Guido felt. He was looking for answer, he wanted to just feel alright, he wanted to stop, he wants everything to just reveal themselves to him, and he was so restless. I am all that too. I feel that. So when he sang the song, it kinda resonated with me, especially the line I would like the universe to get down on it's knees and say, "Guido, whatever you please, it's okay. Even if it's impossible, we'll arrange it." That's all that I want. I feel exactly the same! So people, if you have time and not so turned off with musical, do watch it. It's pretty interesting :)
On other news, I uploaded some pictures from home to my flickr. I was feeling black and white. Perhaps because I thought the pictures weren't that amazing, so I turned them black and white to make them more interesting. Some of the pictures are not good in black and white though, so perhaps later when I have the time to experiment with my newly installed Adobe Photoshop CS4, I'll put them up. For now buonanotte peeps! Vi voglio bene!
:) eKa @ 10:45:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Hi peeps. Titanic is on TV right now. How adorable was Leonardo diCaprio!!! So anyways peeps I have been back in Singapore for 3-4 days now. Arrived here on Wednesday night and I have been quite tired going back to the routine, unpacking the stuff I had, laundry, and ironing the stack of clothes which was waiting for me. I also managed to do my homework, to the surprise and delight of a boy which I'm gonna call Nicky in this blog. I was kinda nervous about this morning's session, simply because I was scared that Mr.P was gonna torture me to talk about what I did during my holiday. I was kinda sad that Yeni wasn't coming and it seems she's not gonna continue as well :( I like having an Indonesian around. The Indonesian language is still running pretty deep in me after my holiday that I almost answered Raggio's question today in Indonesian. Well, maybe I can take comfort in the fact that Mau will still be there, as well as many of the people I have grown accustomed to.So how was my holiday? Well the last time I wrote, I wrote about how battered and wounded I was that I think it really took a toll on my health. Or perhaps I could be simply unlucky. I got sick and I had to see the doctor twice for 2 different reasons *sigh* In fact the last time I went to see the doctor was last Sunday and so I guess my energy level has not really come back to its fullest state. I actually felt pretty weird with my body today :( and after days of averaging a 9-11 hours of sleep, I have been having around only 6 hours still I came back :( Then not to mention, Singapore is really really darn hot :(
I'm gonna give you the boring story of me getting sick back home. The first visit to the doctor happened after Chinese New Year. I had flu. My mom wondered why I was having flu when I had flu vaccination. Well to defend the nice Singapore doctor who gave me the shot, I skipped the whole runny nose part and went straight to the bad sore throat and coughing :( I knew I needed antibiotic as usually prescribed by my doctor in Singapore. The Indonesian doctor did give me that, which now that I remember, all his dose was lower than what the Singapore doctor usually tells me to take. The indonesian doctor told me to take 1 pill instead of the usual 2 which I am normally told here. I don't know if the dosage of the Indonesian medicines in themselves are stronger. I kinda doubt it. The second visit to the doctor happened because of a stranger reason. You see, last Sunday I was supposed to went to a crater lake in Bandung (a city outside Jakarta) with my aunts. My aunts were picking me up at 5 am (darn they do start early in Jakarta! More about that later). So anyways, somehow last Saturday I couldn't sleep, which was strange. I usually slept easily at home but that night I couldn't sleep at all. Then I started to feel sick and nauseous and sometime before 4 am, I vomitted! It's been years since I vomitted, so I was alarmed but somehow when my aunt called me saying she was on the way, I didn't tell her that I was feeling sick. By the way, my mom wasn't around at that time and my dad was leaving for work soon after and I don't know why eiher, I didn't tell my dad before he left that I vomitted. I vomitted one more time before 5 and before I knew it, my aunts have arrived. So I went with them, still didn't tell them that I vomitted earlier. Around 10-15 minutes in the car, I vomitted again :( then I told them that I couldn't make it. We were actually going to another aunt's house first to pick my cousin and my aunt told me to just go there first and rest. We arrived, I was feeling really unwell. They felt that I had too much wind in my body which they were most probably right. My aunt tried to help me with the traditional dikerok. I wasn't feeling better so it was decided that we were not going to make it for the trip. My aunts told me to rest first until I felt better, so we waited. Sometime before 7, my aunt received a call that her sister in law had died. She was pretty sad. She was crying and it's never easy to see someone older, who you look up to, cried. In the end my other aunt encouraged this aunt to just take a flight to Semarang (which is in central Java. Jakarta is in west Java by the way) for the funeral and so they went. So it's kinda fate played a hand of me getting sick and as such we were not able to leave as planned and thus we were still around when my aunt got the call which then allowed my other aunt to accompany her. The being sick part still wasn't nice. I got worse. I ended up having high temperature and that's when my dad had to take me to the doctor again. It's really like there's a lot of wind in my body and they were kinda trapped and I felt so sick :'( I cried in fact. Not because it hurt but more because I was mellow and moody. You see my mother wasn't around. She was in Bangka at that time to do the customary prayer since my uncle's grave had been completed. I was really really feeling sick but thank God the drugs work and Monday morning, I was feeling better.
So with the sickness, I didn't really go out much. In fact, I only went to the mall one time. It was good though because I got to try the pancakes from Pancious. Pancious is a pancake restaurant which my Indonesian friends have been raving in Facebook. I love this place! If only there's such place in Singapore too. The visit there brought a lovely surprise because I got to see Stella! My roommate back in NUS. It was such a coincidence, a good one. She had some tears in her eyes, which made me wanna cry too :P I finally got to see her 3 kids, which were such a fun group to watch. I think Stella is like the pinnacle of housewife that many women in Indonesia would really like to be. You see, she has 3 kids, 2 nannies, and a maid. The only thing missing in her household is a driver, which she perhaps also has anyway. So she's quite a successful housewife in a sense :) Anyway, in the mall I also got a haircut. Somehow I feel my hair should have been shorter. I had my hair cut by the same person who cut it last year. I gave her a really generous tip which gonna makes my mom mad if she finds out. Well I hope people will see me as being nice instead of a dumbass :P
For Chinese New Year, we did go visiting to aunts and uncles' houses. The trips each had some unfortunate events :( The first one saw us getting lost in finding our way back, that we were on the road for 1-2 hours longer than we should have been. The second trip saw the air conditiner broken down that it was blowing hot air :( I should have sensed something was wrong with my body when I didn't sweat as much as my mom and aunties who seemed like they were in a sauna. I guess these things might have contributed to me getting sick. Also the fact of that I didn't really watch what I ate, especially the many rambutans that I had which my dear dear mother nicely peeled off. I didn't even have to work to peel them off :P
The sickness also caused me to bail out on my dear friends, Marlisa, Dewi, and Emilia twice. We did meet one time and had dinner in Cheesecake Factory, another place I heard people mentioned in Facebook. This was a place I was interested in seeing because it's where Penny from The Big Bang Theory works. I expected the waiters to be wearing Penny's uniform, unfortunately they didn't. They did wear vests, but they were black. I don't know if the Cheesecake Factory in Indonesia has any relation to the ones in the US. We tried the cheese cakes but somehow I didn't find them to be amazingly extraordinary.
Oh yeah, I did go to Sari's wedding dinner with my dad, aunt, and uncle. Sari is my classmate back in high school. We were in the same class in our 2nd grade and we sat together. It was a javanese wedding, so it's kinda cool to see the costume they wear. The males had keris on their back. Well I don't know if there were actual keris in the sheaths. I got to see a few of high school friends as well. It's always surprised me that people can still recognize me. Well according to Wira who nicely greeted me, I looked the same :P somehow I always think I change :P Too bad Emilia didn't come though. Oh yeah, speaking about Indonesian custom and such, I love how batik has become so popular in Indonesia. I wanted to get me a batik skirt but I couldn't find any and of all the shirts I saw, I didn't find one which I really like. Now I regret not having bought any, I should have looked harder :(
So that's pretty much it about life back home. I had fun though. I like being able to get away from my Singapore's life. I like seeing my mom and spending time with my mom and dad watching tv. I like the chance I had on spending time with my aunts, uncles, and cousins, however short it was. I got to see my cousin's kids which were also quite a higlight. Unfortunately with me being sick, I wasn't able to see them more often. I like just spending time in my house, watching Indonesian TV and the DVDs that my brother bought. Indonesian TV stations are still showing some rubbish but I like some of the things that they show. I kinda miss them now. I like the fact that Indonesian TV stations are really about the people. Unlike Singapore TV stations who are more about the profit. You see, without cable TV, Indonesian get to watch live sport matches from the tv stations, like NBA games, boxing, formula 1, etc. In fact we spent the Chinese New Year holidays watching all stars NBA games on tv. Day 1 was the dunking competition and the other types of competition, kinda cool. Day 2 was the East VS the West. The ending was tight! Then for the world cup this year, Indonesian will have easy access to watch all the matches live! I like that it's like that in Indonesia. In Singapore, I will not have access to these matches because I don't have cable. BOOHOO!!! Things like this really can unite the nation because it's something that people can talk about. Unfortunately it's not like that in Singapore :( Not everyone will get to watch the matches, so only a few people will be able to talk about it. Not all men, women, and children :(
Anyway, I found out that there were many important things that happened to my family that my mother didn't tell me. So it's kinda sad. Like the fact, that there was a time when my mother was sick, my father got hurt, and also the time when my brother had an accident. I couldn't believe they didn't tell me that my brother had quite an accident! It's sad to be missing out on this. Oh I need to tell about how Indonesian do start early. Well I would say that Indonesians are laid back, which some people may see as kinda lazy, but for these laid back Indonesians in Jakarta, they do start their day early that I think it's pretty crazy. I have once wrote about how a tv station has started airing their news live at 4-5 am. People are actually awake and already working at that hour. My mom told me about how my aunt took her to see a traditional chinese medicine doctor at 4 am when my mother had a really bad pain in her waist. She said people had started queuing at that hour and the doctor does start the practice that early! Even my aunt started cooking at 3 am to prepare our food for the trip last Sunday, it's crazy! She walked out to buy cucumbers at 4 am something and people have actually already started selling stuff! It seems even normal for my cousins to be waking up that early. Jakarta is just wonderfully chaotic, quirky, and unexpectedly amazing for me. This time around, I don't have much complain about its imperfection. I just love it so much! Hence that's why I feel that Indonesia is still home for me, even after years in Singapore. I love it dearly! I love my home, I love Jakarta, I love Indonesia :) Still so many things to write but maybe some other time. It's been pretty long. Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 8:00:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Gonna go home today. I hope I can make it alright because my passport is actually expiring in less than 3 months. I hope I can make it back to Jakarta. I am not so concerned about not being able to come back to Singapore. I was telling NanSee just now how unlucky I have been these days. I think I am so battered and wounded in my life right now. I really need to go home. If I am a character in a game, my lifeline is diminishing fast. I could feel it when I woke up this morning, like my energy is really running out fast. So I really really hope, I can reach home in one piece.This week has been pretty scary. Something really really bad and wrong happens in my body. I should be seeing a doctor but I didn't. I guess simply because I am scared to see her and get diagnosed and if it's of concern (which it is actually), I have to go through more tests and with that the ultimate bad news may come my way :'( I know I should't be ignoring the fact that something is really wrong with my body, but I am. I am hoping that it will be okay on its own soon :( I am not supposed to do this, really. I was seeking comfort from googling, which is so WRONG! I mean if such thing happens to you, I will urge you to see a doctor. It's just of all the so many things I can do and should do alone, I really don't want to do this alone :'( Anyways, I've told my mom. So if it's not getting better back home, at least I have the whole family there to help me get through what it is I need to get through.
Well nothing much else to say. I wish you guys a Happy Chinese New Year!!! Happy holidays! As usual I am pretty depressed thinking that I have to go back here. Aaarrrgghhh. For now, I am just so comforted thinking about dinner and my nice bed. Finally I will be able to sleep. Take care peeps. See you when I see you.
:) eKa @ 12:21:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Darn, I woke up from my nap today with a severe flu. My head is so heavy right now and I cannot breathe properly. Aarrrghh, so this post may gonna be an explosion of random thoughts jumping in my head incoherently.The title of the post is from a movie I watched this week, Everybody's Fine, starring Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, and Sam Rockwell. This movie is based on an Italian movie called Stanno Tutti Bene, which unfortunately I haven't watched. I did watch part of it in youtube and it seems to be very interesting. Anyways, Everybody's Fine tells a story of this old man (Robert De Niro) who decided to do a surprise visit to his 4 adult children. All because the kids all bailed on him when they were supposed to drop by for a gathering. So he went to each of the cities the kids were living in. He felt a distance with each of the kids, like they couldn't really say anything that they felt, when they used to do so with his wife who's dead now. Cut the long story short, in the end, he found out what's been going on in their kids' life. It's kinda very touching. Maybe I was just in such an emotional state though. He asked each of the kids, "Are you happy?". That question makes me so sad simply because I am not. Kinda made me wanna cry. One scene in the end showed the old man talking to his wife at her grave, kinda saying something along the line that the kids have problems in their lives but bottomline they're fine. Again it made me wanna cry. I relate to that. I am unhappy and depressed in life, but I am fine. I'm okay. I'm hanging in there. I don't know when will I reach the point of 'not fine'. I hope I will know that moment should it arrives before it's too late *sigh*
This week has been quite a whirlwhind week. It's amazing how fast things could happen. Did a few things this week that caused my nerves to run on high. However I don't think any of them will work out. For someone who seems so sure of herself, I actually have confident issue. What I really really want is to stop. That brings a lot of points to my head. Certain things seem more and more logical and there's a sense acceptance building in me. However it still messes up with my head a lot. I just don't want to hate myself in the end. I don't mind hating other people, but to hate myself is not really an option since I am stuck with myself forever *sigh*
Anyway, home is in a few days, less than a week. I am actually looking forward to leave this place and go home. However with the crazy week I have been having, there's no room for excitement. I should really get packing. I hope I can get everything done tomorrow. I have kinda get everything that I need to bring home. Didn't really do much chinese new year shopping, since financially I need to settle a few things *sigh* As usual, I am already depressed thinking that I will have to come back here eventually. Home is the safe place for me. Home is where noone will hurt me and I am loved and cared for. So to leave that is hard. How does one leave from that? *sigh* If you haven't thought much about your home, do think about it. Do cherish the parents who are living with you and don't take them for granted because really at the end of the day, it kills your parents' hearts to see you miserable in life.
My flu is really killing me and I am feeling a bit warm now. Goodnight peeps!
:) eKa @ 11:10:00 PM • 0 comments
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