Saturday, April 17, 2010

Prettier

Met Rista today for lunch :) She had a 12-hour transit here before she flies to Jakarta. I only met her for lunch because I had my usual saturday engagement this morning and so she went to meet up with her cousin first. She did a bit of shopping. I also got myself a few stuffs, which after I assessed my financial state just now, I shouldn't have spent money on unnecessary things :( You know, it's really nice that a foreigner can claim GST refund. Rista would be able to claim back around S$46 for her purchase today, that's not bad! It was really really nice to see her and just speak Indonesian. When she saw me, she commented that I looked good and prettier. Err ... pretty / beautiful is not really something that is associated to me so it was kinda surprising and flattering when she said that. It also brought into question, why the hell I am still single now. When we were waiting for our food to come, apparently there were some seconds in her head in which she was trying to analyze what's wrong with me or the universe, that I haven't had a boyfriend, ever!?! :D If you ask me why, I think it's perhaps because it's not the thing that I really want the most in my life right now. So I don't know ... my mom may argue, hence change your mind. Maybe. I don't know. In our lunch today, I was telling Rista that I just have certain things that I expect to see in "the guy" and also certain way in how I see things in life, and perhaps those are immature and selfish thoughts and so until I am able to be more mature in my thoughts, I will not gonna get any guy. But you see, "any guy" is not "the guy" and right now, I just don't want to settle. I don't want just "any guy", I want "the guy"! Maybe I will have him someday, maybe I will not. Maybe I will eventually settle. I don't know. Before she went in for the immigration check and we had to say goodbye, she said, don't worry, there'll definitely somebody for you. This really took me by surprise! Seriously?!?! After all that we talked about, we came back to this again? :P I suppose the fact that this thought came to my head really showed that having someone is really not on the top of my list :P

So anyway, Rista is going home for 2 weeks to prepare for her wedding in July. It's gonna be a mad rush. I really want to go to her wedding in Medan and have the chance to see Danau Toba. I've never been to Medan, so it's gonna be an exciting experience. However since there will most probably noone that I know of there, I kinda wonder if the trip will happen :( I am asking my mom if she's interested. Anyway, in the topic of love and such. I was telling Rista that her story is like 500 days of summer. She was with someone before and they were moving towards marriage. However towards the end, she just couldn't do it. I believe that there were other reasons, but some of it was because she wasn't willing to give up her life in Australia right now. But with her fiancee now, she's willing to do that although they actually haven't gone out for a long time. Yes, they do know each other for some time, but they are not in this boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for a long time and she's already very sure about this leap. I do ask her about this a few times. She said this guy just feels right and not just that, everything just falls into place easily. So maybe that's what it is, when it's right, it's right? It's so vague and I do have to say that I am not even sure that I believe that, that it could happen :D Okay, maybe I should just :P

This week has been alright, I think. In the spirit of being positive, I'm not gonna say negative things, even though I have nightmares haunting me and I have started not being able to sleep again :( Sometime it gets so bad that I wonder if I actually slept when I woke up :( Oh well. Today is day 10 of my medication. Last day! Finished one of the drugs after lunch today and I am left with another one that I had to take before I go to sleep. This one is the hardest part :( I feel happy that it's over but at the same time I feel rather worried if things are really getting better because so far things just feel strange for me :( Well, I just have to hope for the best. Okay, that's pretty much it peeps. Nothing interesting happened in my life. Take care all!

:) eKa @ 8:05:00 PM •