Off to Rehab and Detox

Gonna go home today. I hope I can make it alright because my passport is actually expiring in less than 3 months. I hope I can make it back to Jakarta. I am not so concerned about not being able to come back to Singapore. I was telling NanSee just now how unlucky I have been these days. I think I am so battered and wounded in my life right now. I really need to go home. If I am a character in a game, my lifeline is diminishing fast. I could feel it when I woke up this morning, like my energy is really running out fast. So I really really hope, I can reach home in one piece.

This week has been pretty scary. Something really really bad and wrong happens in my body. I should be seeing a doctor but I didn't. I guess simply because I am scared to see her and get diagnosed and if it's of concern (which it is actually), I have to go through more tests and with that the ultimate bad news may come my way :'( I know I should't be ignoring the fact that something is really wrong with my body, but I am. I am hoping that it will be okay on its own soon :( I am not supposed to do this, really. I was seeking comfort from googling, which is so WRONG! I mean if such thing happens to you, I will urge you to see a doctor. It's just of all the so many things I can do and should do alone, I really don't want to do this alone :'( Anyways, I've told my mom. So if it's not getting better back home, at least I have the whole family there to help me get through what it is I need to get through.

Well nothing much else to say. I wish you guys a Happy Chinese New Year!!! Happy holidays! As usual I am pretty depressed thinking that I have to go back here. Aaarrrgghhh. For now, I am just so comforted thinking about dinner and my nice bed. Finally I will be able to sleep. Take care peeps. See you when I see you.

:) eKa @ 12:21:00 PM •

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bluesky.

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made a mistake today and I only have myself to be disappointed with :( I wasn't raised this way and somehow I become this :( thank God the merciful still gave me a good alternative
 
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the good Lord really watches my back today, praise be
 
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finally a little bit of sun and blue sky and it's most probably the only one I would get here - side note: feel quite sad about Pope Francis, such an inspiration to be humble and down to earth :(
 
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bench with falling white flowers
 
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adieu Paris, je ne sais pas s'il y a une prochaine fois - si non, je pense que je suis contente :)
 
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knocked my tea all over the table, but a girl quickly came to help me clean up and even said sorry about my tea - it gives me hope about these kids
 
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from the poem 大阿蘇 (おおあそ) by 三好達治 (みよしたつじ): もしも百年が この一瞬の間にたったとしても 何の不思議もないだろう that line is just ... it stucks with me
 
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a good present - bought a cake and getting a slice of cake for free - I know the universe has love for me :)
 

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