Monday, February 26, 2007
Hey peeps. I am back here in Singapore. I was thinking how unlucky I was with this trip, even from the beginning. When I went back, I was having difficulty finding a taxi under the drizzle of rain. I called for one but it never came. NanSee was really good that she tried to locate and get me another taxi, but at that point in time there was no freaking taxi in Singapore. I made it to the airport on time. It was pretty much my first time going to the plane straight away without waiting to board. When I arrived at the Soekarno-Hatta airport, I thought I saw my cousin. But since we haven't seen each other for a long time, I wasn't sure it was him and I didn't say "Hi". I then found out that it was him and I felt pretty bad for not greeting him because I am eternally grateful to him for taking care of me on my first day in Singapore. The trip home from the airport to my house was a pain because of traffic jam.Arriving here early this morning was a worse trip. All started yesterday in the airport when I checked in. I think there were around 3 planes departing to Singapore at around 10 minutes apart and I think all those planes are full of Indonesians going back to Singapore. So checking in was a pain. Then there was the queue for the tax exemption and afterwards there was the queue for the immigration check in. Because of the so many people boarding, my plane was delayed more than half an hour so that everyone can get in. Emirates was pretty nice that it gave us bread, cakes, and drinks while waiting. I must say that flying with Emirates is really really good. Arriving in Singapore, we had to go through another baggage check. I think it's because Singapore thought that Indonesia didn't do a proper job since we were just rushed to take off. Then waiting for my luggage was a pain. Afterwards the taxi queue was a British (I think) tourist said, "It's horrendous!". I think there were 2 taxi queues in the terminal, left and right. Due to the so many people queuing for taxi, the end of the 2 queues actually met! I only got my taxi at around 00:45 am. The taxi uncle was pretty nice, he drove really fast. I think he didn't go below 80 and around half an hour later, I reached my place. With a bit of this and that, I think I slept at around 2 am.
Chinese New Year was not bad. It was actually the NBA all stars weekend. Goodness, I forget how I used to enjoy watching NBA back in junior high school. NBA matches are really cool. Didn't really watch much of the competition and the all stars games though. For once, I really think that Eva Longoria is pretty. I guess it's different seeing the normal her outside Desperate Housewives. What Eva Longoria has anything to do with NBA? Well, get to know more things peeps.
My days at home was pretty okay. There was a heavy thunderous rain last Saturday night that I was really worried that there would be flood. Fortunately, there was none. Had really good sleep on my bed. I love my hard tough bed so much. Didn't bring my vaio home and I actually managed to watch a few DVDs:
:: The Longest Yard - I love it. Love Adam Sandler in it. I think he's a really nice guy. Too bad Chris Rock had to die.
:: Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - I didn't watch the first one. I think the 2nd one is your average family movie. Not so interesting.
:: In Her Shoes - Not bad.
:: Just Like Heaven - aaahh ... so average. After watching this and In Her Shoes, I do wonder what it's like to find that 'guy'.
:: Mean Girls - I think this was pretty good. I think Lindsay Lohan was pretty good in it. She is not a bad actress actually. I guess she should really focus on acting rather than creating drama.
:: Repli-Kate - Aarrgh ... I regret watching this. I feel I was getting dumber after the movie.
:: Click - Just when I thought I like Adam Sandler. Not his fault actually. The idea was interesting but the story was just not that good.
Other than DVDs, there were the usual cartoons, love Jimmy Neutron! Too bad I didn't spend more time for Spongebob, Hey Arnold, and The Rugrats. There were also Oprah. The most captivating one I must say is 4 Mata. Perhaps the hottest talk show currently in Indonesia, hosted by the silly Tukul Arwana, or perhaps in English, he would love it to be known as TooCool. When I first heard news of him, I thought he's some kind of brilliant and sharp comedian. After watching the shows, I think it's his creative team who are the smart ones but now I realize that he himself is pretty good because different people can be given the same resources and how you make the best of it and come out with something amazing show how brilliant and creative you are. There were chances to watch soccer but I missed them. Saw a bit of a Italian Serie A league match (I forget between which). It was pretty weird watching a match without spectators in it. You can actually hear the players shouting. I wonder if they felt it's like a normal training session. There were chances to watch Champion League matches but I couldn't muster the will to get up and Arsenal lost!
Met with the girls twice. Love them. They actually gave me my first birthday present this year and I got another one from Marlisa's sister. I got 2 presents and my birthday is still some weeks to come and I haven't even bought a present for Marlisa. Anyways, I got really girlie stuffs. I think I should really slowly embrace the girliness in me? Well, I guess it's necessary. The girls seemed to be doing pretty alright. I almost forgot to tell you that my dear cousin, Marlisa, created a very lovely card for me. I love it! She must have spent much time doing it.
Had that life discussion with mom and she's not so supportive with what I want to do. There was plan A, make that A1 and A2. However those didn't come true. There was plan B, due to some restriction I actually tone it down but mom disapproves! I wonder what plan C will be (currently there is none). Anyway those things and the fact that today I am getting back to what I have been doing, I just got really depressed and frustrated with my life. To the point that I really felt like crying. Life sucks! Seriously! I feel it with all the bones and blood in me. It's just I don't want my life to be like this. Aaarrrrrggghhhh...I have a headache and a tummy problem that I don't even have the energy to tell you what's wrong with me. Anyway, I'm just gonna be in a mellow mood until further notice and as such I will just be a bitch.
Can I just say that I love Leonardo DiCaprio! and Jennifer Hudson is really a testimony of how God makes everything beautiful and better in His time. Night peeps. A picture from home, cropped and the sky was photoshop enhanced. You are looking at electricity cables and some rain droplets. Taken from my house's 2nd floor balcony. I don't usually spend much time there. One afternoon I actually saw a good looking sky. Stupid me, it didn't occur to me that I should take pictures and after waiting for another sky to appear, which didn't happened, I had to settle with this on my last day.
:) eKa @ 10:42:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Finally managed to watch Half Nelson after thinking that I should just let it go since it seemed that I may not have the chance to do so. Before I elaborate about the movie, can I just say that it has been an individualistic start of the week for me. Yesterday I had dinner alone in a public place and today I watched the movie alone. I really like it. It feels good to remember that I can do this, that I can be with myself. Really love the alone movie experience today. Half Nelson was at the Picture House at the Cathay. My first time in that cinema. It looked really cool upon receiving the ticket, because it came in a small black envelope folder (can't really describe it well). The ticket counter girl said that snacks weren't allowed in the cinema (just when I really felt like having snack). So I thought the cinema must be so exclusive, but it wasn't really so. The seats were different. It was a smaller cinema, but nothing special about it. Of course there's the Picture House lounge, which I didn't enter. I wonder if only patrons who are watching in the Picture House get to use the lounge. Either way, the things sold in the lounge seemed to be too high-end for a movie. Okay, enough, let's talk about the movie.Ryan Gosling received an Oscar best male lead nomination for his role in this movie. I forget why I wanted to watch this movie in the first place. I think because I thought the trailer was interesting, and he actually looked attractive in the trailer, and finding out about his Oscar nomination raised my urges even more. Was he really good in this movie? I'm sorry, I think I will be bias. I just love him so much!!! I want a Ryan Gosling type of guy. From the first scene until the end, I just couldn't take my eyes off him and it's not because he's amazingly handsome. He looked rugged and not clean, though he did clean out for the last few seconds of the movie (Thank God!). The point is, given any girl out there, I don't think he will be seen as the handsome one. However ... I love him!!! I love him!!! I love him!!! Oh the eyes! I think they were green. I love him despite of his role as a junkie. It kinda felt a bit strange for me, how a junkie can ever function properly, especially as a teacher. Ryan's role in this movie was very interesting, especially since the story pretty much centered around him. Story wise, the movie is not bad. I wonder what kind of message it tried to deliver, but then it hit me that sometime it is just a story. A story that some people think it might be interesting to be told. Some people may find the movie boring and slow moving but I found it to be interesting enough to keep me on my seat. At one point I thought the ending would be unhappy. There was a really deep-thought-and-emotion-provoking scene which I thought was beautifully made though there were no words being uttered. The ending wasn't a clear happy one but I found it to be pretty hopeful and it made me smile
Finished reading By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho. The same thing, I have no energy to write and analyse the book further. One thing I can say though, I am now pretty curious with charismatic church and how it feels to speak in tongue. It doesn't mean I want to partake in any activity from the church anytime soon. I still find it pretty freaky and that's enough to keep me out. I must say that Coelho is so contradictory. Well I don't think he means to be that way. He believes what he believes and noone has to justify what he believes or conforms with what the norm or what the society accept if they do not fall in the same line as what a person believes. I may not get what Coelho was really trying to say in this book, simply because all the other things got me thinking and questioning. It's another book from him that I read that involved lots of spirituality and God. He does see God in a different way, unlike the conservative Catholic church.
Okay, I cannot write any longer. My mom warned me not to get sick when I get home and I should really rest. I may not have time to write before I go. Don't feel like addressing anyone actually. The individualistic mode may have turned to a selfish / hostile / anti social bitch mode. Take care peeps! Let me leave you with a line that Ryan Gosling said to his students in Half Nelson. I got the answer correct, by the way
The sun goes up and then it comes down, but everytime that happens what do you get?
You get a new day.
:) eKa @ 10:48:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Sometime it matters pretty much. Sometime it doesn't matter. Sometime the desire to take the plunge and chase that dream kicks in badly that everything seems possible. Sometime reality checks come in and the dream has lots of paper works to be dealt with. This morning was one of those days when I felt pretty demoralized. Not having the happiest day today though people had been pretty nice. Feeling very mellow and sad and afraid. I wonder why though these feelings can continue to seep through, I never get used to it. I just need to take that step perhaps and take it from there. But days like these are the days when I'm very clouded and waver. I guess I need to remind myself times and times again that I need to do justice for my life and I don't want to die without having done something really really good for me. You can't rely on other people, so you must make sure that you will be kind to yourself.Was invited to a traffic party tonight. I must say that the concept is interesting. However of course I didn't go. Here I am blogging. The peeps were pretty nice about it and tried their best to convince me to go. I'm always stunned with the sincere care that people show me, especially these peeps. They are really nice people. Gosh, chances like this may not come again, to be invited to a party by the organizer herself who happens to be quite well known in her industry. But it's just not me. I wouldn't know how to react and I would be a bore there. Nevertheless I can not help thinking that the 10-year old me would have expected the 25-year old me to do such thing. So see, I am already disappointing myself. Maybe I can take comfort that I am not yet 25? No, I cannot *sigh*
Flood has gone away in my parent's parts of the world. So home is a real possibility now. It will not be long enough for me, but I guess I must make do with it, and get all the necessary life discussion going on. It's really important for me to know that they are supportive with what I want to do. Afterwards, I guess I should really get off my chair and get moving. It's very scary thinking of everything, thinking of all the people I've met. The people pretty much got me thinking a lot today. It has been a blessing and an interesting encounter indeed. Like the people I've been spending my Saturdays with. It was scary when I first started and I still get nervous pretty often, but it's been an interesting meetings with them. So I will leave you with a line from one of Letto's song, I'll Find a Way, below. It's not just about a person, it's about many people, a group of people, and of places. The title of the post is also from one of their song, Truth, Cry, and Lie. I hope I am that charmingly sentimental brain
...you cast your spell on me darling...
:) eKa @ 11:19:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, February 04, 2007
If you watch the news regularly here in Singapore, you will know that Jakarta is currently having a bad flood. It's been making the news for 3 days now. My mom first told me about it on Friday morning. Our area is flooded but luckily the water hasn't flooded our house (just yet). Just received an sms from my mom hours ago, saying that it's around 2 cm more and our house will be flooded. I really hope that it wouldn't come to that. To have the water come in our house would mean that the water in the street in front of our house reaches around 1.5 m. It is really really scary. I managed to call my mom yesterday night. The flood subsided and was not bad last night. We still managed to laugh about it but right now I think it's really really rally bad. Imagine seeing a raft floating around in front of your house, how bizzare is that? Yesterday I can still see the fun of it, but after 3 days and my parents are still suffering with no electricity and running water, and the forecast of things getting worst, it is so NOT right!!! Of course, my parents are still the fortunate ones. I mean there are people who are worse off, our neighbours for example who I heard have taken refuge in our house. My cousins also took refuge in our place 2 days ago and perhaps today as well. I suppose their parents are persistently staying in their flooded house just to make sure things are alright. You don't want people to go and rob your house, hence the persistence if you are wondering.Imagine now as I am writing this at 7 pm +, imagine Jakarta, flooded and no electricity. It's dark, that also means your fridge is not working, which means whatever meat or vegetables you have in your fridge will most probably get spoilt. I heard from my mom that there are people coming in the raft and bringing them food, like biscuits and being the typical Indonesian (we love our instant noodle), they are also getting instant noodle. To live with instant noodles for days, you're gonna get sick. Then there's also no water, so they must really use water wisely, and showering is really out of the question. It's also not like you can go out there and buy food. I also imagine that it gets quite cold. So for all you God believer out there, can you say a little prayer for my beloved home, so that things will get better. This makes me wonder if I can go home in less than 2 weeks time. I will be so miserable if I am stuck here for Chinese new year. I also feel a bit bad that my family are suffering there and I am not there with them. I often feel like I miss out on the many happenings with my family, especially with my mom. As such, it really makes me wonder if I should be here *sigH* Please say a lil' prayer, peeps.
I had lunch and Starbucks chilling out session with the circle of trust yesterday. We had a complete set yesterday. Ms. J and I were actually discussing some days ago that coming into it we would stand united and not divulge some of the shocking things in our life. In the end we let it all out. Well, I was most worried with awkward silence and so some scandalous information must be revealed for the sake of having a conversation. I regret saying some of the things that I said. As bad as I am for saying this, but I have a big apprehension that the circle of trust is as strong as we were. Paranoia is building in me. As luck would have it, NanSee called me yesterday evening and we touched on an issue that I shared with the circle of trust. She said I would be so dead if I disclose it, and I did, and she totally thought that I had made a mistake. I think she's right. Seriously, I am so paranoid right now *sigH* Anyway, Metallotorto gave a good analysis on Ms.J's situation. You do need to hear it from a guy's perspective.
Starfish finally called it quit on Friday. I had my doubt that he would do it and he did. So now, I should really take the leap as well. I was so nervous for him. Seriously when I saw egg came, I think I blurted "shit!" and my heart was beating faster and my hands were getting colder. I didn't expect to be nervous. I'd always thought that there's nothing to be nervous about, but turns out it was nerve-wrecking. Starfish handled it really nice actually, it was really amicable of him. I don't think I would care that much. Around 2 weeks ago, he wrote such a touching post in his blog that made me teared a drop. I said goodie bag, he said basket *sigH* It was really comforting to have him in the same boat. It's really comforting to know that he shares all the frustration and feeling on unfairness that I also feel. I think we both managed to put pressure on egg last year. Yes, A4 was the one who did the talking and pushing but I think since me and starfish stand united, things are better for the pets now. I think I actually didn't do much, because they were more frontal than me. So I kinda fly under the radar and yet I also gain the profit. People weren't there when we first started, they weren't there to see the struggle we had when we there were just us and we were trying so hard to cover all our basis. He has been smart and helpful and I am just thankful to be trusted enough by him. I feel he has been treated unfairly but I hope what I think will come true.
Take care peeps!
LATEST NEWS (added 08:38 pm) - My mom just sent me an sms. Our house is flooded now, it's around ankle length in our first floor. They are moving up now. This is definitely the worst flood ever.
:) eKa @ 7:11:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, January 29, 2007
Went to watch Babel with Vivy and her scholar friend, Sigit, yesterday. Babel wasn't as what I expected story wise. From the little clip that I saw long ago that featured Brad Pitt, I thought the movie would be about like the title implies, the inability to communicate what we want because of language barrier and how it can lead to misunderstanding, or the ability to communicate and work together though we are not able to speak the same language. However, the movie isn't like that. Babel told 4 different stories which in a way linked to each other just like Crash. Though I feel one of the link is not that strong.One story told about Brad Pitt and his wife, Cate Blanchett who went on a trip to Morocco when her wife was accidentally got shot when they were in the bus. I think this story is the one being used the most to promote the movie. I guess this story told not only the desperation you experience when your loved one got hurt, but it also explored the kindness of people. How the Moroccan tried their best to help this couple. My most touching scene in this story is when an old granny gave the wife something to smoke to ease her pain. I don't think that this story was really strong and heart moving. But it is really telling how human can react in such dire situation. When the rest of the tourists decided to leave the couple in the village out of fear that they might get killed just because the people in the village looked like terrorist, I just can't help thinking how people can really walk away.
While this couple in Morocco, their Mexican maid out of desperation took the couple's 2 children to Mexico to attend her son wedding. She tried her best to find a babysitter, but she couldn't find any. Everyone seemed to be having fun at the wedding, though the 2 kids experienced quite a major culture shock. When they went back to America, things went wrong because obviously a lowly Mexican with 2 American kids do raise suspicion. The maid and the 2 kids ended up almost dying in the desert. Fortunately no one died. The maid was deported back to Mexico without any chance of returning to America. The Brad Pitt family pretty much the only one having a happy ending in this movie.
Another story told about the shepherd boy who shot Cate Blanchett. He and his brother didn't mean it, they just wanted to test the gun. They were stupid for aiming it at a moving bus, but it's like one of those thing. You think nothing bad will happen from harmless fun, but it can be so disastrous. In this case, his brother died when the police tried to catch them. It is so heartbreaking because they were with their father who tried his best to protect them and yet he couldn't really do much. It's also heartbreaking how someone so young can use a gun and shoot well. Being in the age that we are right now, the news in the movie were all about terrorist who were attacking this American couple. I can not help thinking being in a real world, if such thing does happen and the government in that country said "Oh, it's just an accident done by a shepherd boy". Who would believe that? People would think that the country is so lame for coming out with such an excuse. I guess that just shows how high the suspicion is in our world now.
The rifle that the boy used to shoot came from a Japanese man who gave it to his guide when he went hunting in Morocco. This brings us to the Japanese story, of his deaf and mute daughter who I felt is so sad and had so much frustration inside of her. I think she's pretty desperate of wanting to be wanted by someone. She practically threw herself to every guy out there and yet no one wanted to sleep with her. It is sad, because she had given everything to the point of being naked and all and yet it wasn't happening. It's like there's nothing else she can do to make anyone want her and I just can feel her sadness and uneasiness being in this world, like things are so wrong, like she doesn't belong there. The actress, Rinko Kikuchi, got an Oscar nomination for her role here. I do must say that she is the strongest out of all the cast, but I can't help wonder if she got it because of the heavy nude scene she had to do. But yeah, she was really strong and intense in this movie.
So was it a good movie? Hmmm...I don't think it is as strong as Crash however maybe it does deserve an applause for exploring life and culture in other parts of the world. Crash explores a city but Babel took us to many places in this world. Watching it, I can't help thinking how different life is in another part of the world. In Morocco, you have these people living in a rock house, in Japan you have school girls wearing such short skirts and there in Mexico and America, which is so near and separated by a border, how life and civilization is so different. It's not just about the place, but the people and their view of life. Here you are thinking of getting an iPod and yet in another country, a family is sharing 1 plate of food. It seemed so incomprehensible that we actually live in the same planet but it is the way it is. Does Babel tried to deliver any message? I don't know, I'm not feeling anything. I suppose if after watching it you can appreciate your life and the culture in other country, then it would be good. If you can slow down a bit and listen more and understand more, I suppose life would be better because it doesn't matter if you speak the same language, if you don't listen you will not understand.
Moving on, ah it's gonna be a long post. Did a stupid thing yesterday morning. Cleaned my right lens with the wrong solution and straight away put it in my eye and damn it! It hurts!!! It was so red and is still a bit red today, though I think this evening it finally is getting clearer. So I had no choice but to wear my glasses the whole of yesterday and today. As such, I was not really in a friendly mode today. Just feel quite cranky. It doesn't help that now arriving in the place I live in feels weird because of an addition of a strange stranger. Can I also complain about all the babysitting that I now seem to be doing quite often. AAaarrrghhh, I have enough kids of my own. Anyway, I just realized that I haven't eaten junk food in at least 2 weeks. Such an accomplishment. As a matter of fact, had been eating more Indonesian food that usual. Yesterday we had lunch at Garuda Padang in Vivo city. Stupid me, I was pretty stunned to see the food are so Padang (hello Eka, it's already in the name!). The price was pretty high for the serving they gave but my rendang chicken was not bad, the egg in curry was also not bad (I love eggs), but the chicken soup was a disappointment though there were generous amount of shredded chicken. I just feel my chicken soup tastes better and I don't even cook!
Okay, moving on, I have put too many words up there. It's time to address one of my reader's mail. None other than Ms. J. She emailed me about one of the phrase I wrote in the previous posts. The line from Paulo Coelho's book, "Why is it that we destroy the things we love most?". From that line, I expect people to just stop for a while and reevaluate their lives and hopefully can prevent doing what the line suggested but Ms. J kinda offers an explanation why people does so. In short I think what she means is what you love can be so wrong. Now that I think about it, I guess you do can love the wrong thing. Your heart may not be pure, there's lust, greed, jealousy, and so on and as such these things can fuel a love which is not right. Love burns and it can really burn you. I guess, the thing is, as it is with life is to strike a balance. Reevaluate your life and your feeling often and don't quickly jump into action just because you are afraid you will be heartbroken. Do not destroy something before it has a chance to bloom. Yes it may wither and die but for a small second it lasts, you are able to see how beautiful it is when it blooms. Be happy for the kindness you receive. Be sincere about it. If you can't pay it back to the one who gives it to you, make sure you are able to do the same to others. Be thankful 'cause most importantly it is God who is looking out for you and so He sends all these wonderful people. So do the same to others. Really got to stop now, so tired and it's been too long. I will leave you with this tagline from Babel
If You Want to be Understood...Listen
:) eKa @ 8:49:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, January 22, 2007
Now I feel a bit like writing. It's more because this afternoon I did something that I've never thought I would be able to do. The thing is, I can dislike someone and not talk to that person ever again. I hold grudges and when I don't like someone, I wouldn't talk to that person, ever! Not even for the sake of being polite. If I freeze then that's it. Silence is pretty easy for me. However, today someone whom I pretty much imagined I wouldn't speak to ever again, someone whom I am not so keen on meeting, happened to bump into me. She said "Hi" and I actually replied. Goodness me! We didn't really make much of a conversation. I was pretty much stunned with me and I was trying to process the whole thing but I did manage to say goodbye. Well, after it's done, it's just done for me. Surprisingly, I am okay. It's like all the grudges and hatred that once filled the pages of my diary seemed like so unimportant. I am okay. I am guilty for hating and for having grudges and so much anger. I still understand how I felt last time but the point is, I am okay now and it kinda feels good. Hence the title, wait it out.Time does heal all wound? Like this stupid heartbreak of mine. It's still a bit there, but hey I can feel that it is losing its weight. I am okay and I will be getting better. By the way, I have to applaud Vivy for guessing my msn nickname correctly (You and I, just you and I. There's never been us). She's so smart. The nick is actually part of the song lyric from Letto - U & I. Totally recommended! Anyway life has been ... well, it has its bad and tough times, like the fact that I haven't been sleeping well since the start of the year and strange dreams are haunting and tiring me out. However, there are good moments and even if it's only 15 minutes or so, I am pretty thankful about it. It's strange how a 15-minutes can change the outlook of the day. Okay, don't make that 15 minutes, make it a simple gesture from someone that only takes 1 minute. As I was telling Ms. J, it can make you smile and grin and feel sunshiny inside
Had an interesting talk with Gascoigne before I left today. I always think of myself as being knowledgeable but when we were talking about dinosaur, I am so not! It's kinda embarrassing actually. I guess I felt embarrassed because he was emphasizing it also. He said I'd better not tell anyone that dinosaurs extinct because of the ice age. He thinks it's pretty embarrassing that I said that. Well, now I write it to you, so you know that dinosaur did not extinct because they were frozen to death. I know you do not know that either
Meanwhile this picture was taken by Casryn when we and La Gioa were walking around the park. La Gioa was exploring places for her photo shoot. It was interesting. The park does have some nice spots. I especially like the small bamboo bushes near the murky pond with the gazebo. Anyway, that's me on the right and La Gioa on the left. Ah, I feel there's something wrong with the way I look, am I fat?
:) eKa @ 9:07:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Hello peeps. How's your weekend?My yesterday morning was not bad. Didn't initially have any plan for the rest of yesterday but NanSee (not the actual spelling) asked me out for lunch. I agreed and I had to pick that girl in Orchard MRT! Her reasoning was that she didn't know Orchard well enough and hence she needed to be picked up. Okay, perhaps she has a point. Lunch was at the Vil'age. I had a voucher to spent. Then I accompanied her to shop a few things. I am maybe selfish, because I kept on thinking that I was tired and sleepy and hence I wasn't really into going from shop to shop. So I think I was not much fun to be brought shopping around. When is I'm ever fun for that, anyway?
Today, I met up with Vivy. It's unlike me to go out on a Sunday, because I always think of it as my hibernation day. So I didn't really hibernate today, though I was able to wake up really late. Anyway, went out with Vivy because Mimi (not the actual spelling) showed me a book voucher from Borders which you can print out off the Net. 40% off for a book. That's something worth checking out, so me and Vivy went there to see if we can buy anything. I bought Paulo Coelho's Like The Flowing River. If you read this blog and remember what you read, I actually had bought it last month. I'm buying it again for a present for someone. I don't know yet who that someone will be, but it's good to prepare, right?
Afterwards, we went to Vivo city to watch Fast Food Nation. See what an effort we made for the movie. Unfortunately it was a very boring movie. The unexpected famous people appearance was the only excitement for me. If the movie tried to raise some kind of awareness, I don't think they were able to do that well. I'm not really sure what they're trying to say. It's not really a window to the world of fast food. I think the illegal immigrant workers story took over the whole fast food side. The climax of the movie was horrifying for me. I had to close my eyes and I only do this on horror movie which I don't really watch. The climax showed how they slaughtered, skinned, and chopped the cow. Since I love my meat so much, I really had to close my eyes. If I don't eat meat, I will die of hunger. Feel a bit guilty to Vivy whom I psyched into watching this movie. I told her that it's like Thank you for Smoking but it's about fast food. Ah...it's so not! I will throw this one into the same disappointment basket as Borat. Sorry, I know many of you like Borat to the T.
Was psyching Vivy to watch Babel too, telling her that it's like Crash (Best Movie for Oscar 2006). Hopefully I am not dead wrong again. I guess Babel will not be much of a disappointment, since it won the best movie category for Golden globe 2007. Alrighty, so that's next on my list and perhaps Bobby (for historical reason) and the Dreamgirls. I love movies, love it! But I realize now that watching a boring one can be such a disappointment. I think it's because of the amount of money we spent and I've been spending way too much these days to satisfy my urges. Okay at least I've experienced cinema europa in Vivo city. The GV max is the next one I want to experience. Take care peeps. My life has been as uninteresting as this post. So much thoughts and things to say but I don't feel like writing it. Too tired.
:) eKa @ 8:25:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, January 13, 2007
This week does feel like week 1 for me. Week 0 was tough and I was hoping that week 1 would be better, but it was busier. Very tiring. Was just happy that it was over at around 4 pm yesterday, only to feel quite nervous because I realized the week is not over yet. So many people were down with sickness these last 2 weeks. I had quite a bad cough earlier this week (blood was involved), mom was also down with cough, but we are all better now. However, many people were still down with the usual flu, cough, and fever. Some are recuperating, some are just in the initial state. Take care peeps.Other than sickness, other things were...well, I can not really disclose it. There was a sad news. Still hoping that it will not happen so soon. But I guess everyone is trying not to waver now. Yesterday, I felt like I was lying to this bunch of people who I surprisingly was quite happy to meet. I guess because they were quite behaved yesterday. I was saying things like "I want..." and "We...". Well, I am not sure if I used "we". It's just I feel bad saying all those things, knowing that there will not be a "we" and all the "I want" is something that I will not see through until it is finished. It kinda affected me and see, I should not waver. I know this is silly but I feel it's like saying "I love you" to your boyfriend / girlfriend, though you don't really feel like that anymore and though you are thinking of breaking up. You say it because you haven't made the decision yet (though you are thinking about it) and it's just something that come out, out of habit. Ah, what do I know? I have no experience in relationship. Anyway, I really meant what I said and when the time comes, I really hope and wish they will be in good hands. I once heard this from a local tv drama, a saying that goes something like this "You know how much someone meant for you with how big the hole they leave behind, when they leave". So the arrogant me is thinking that I will be leaving quite a hole, when the fact is I may be gone unnoticed.
Been waking up late this week, I think it's because I have very little self-control. So even today I was late, quite embarrassing! I thought I would embarrass myself for being stupido instead I did it by being late. Sigh!!! I should have known that since today was our first meeting, everyone would be on time. Again, it's the lazy me fault. Today wasn't as bad as the worrying me expected. It was pretty good. Can not say the same thing for next week though, since we will be having changes. It's good to know that I am not the only one who are having apprehension. Ci manca Sabrina.
Since I didn't have any engagement today, I decided to collect my tickets home. Got it and sigh, just like everything else these days, it's like when I start realizing the fact of my remaining days, I get really scared. Talked to my mom on the phone today about what I want to do and of course, she being the nicest mom, let me do what I want. She can bear my brother, and so what I want is nothing compared to what my brother does. Will have a serious conversation about this when I'm home. Don't think that my dad will be too happy about it, but I guess all of us does what we want anyway.
Just went to Carl's blog and oh my goodness
:) eKa @ 11:11:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Blood Diamond, The Valkyries, and Parts of My Life in the Eyes of Others
Blood DiamondWoke up quite early today for a bit of Jamie Oliver and Kids Central. Not gonna experience any of these anymore. Ms. J sent me an sms about something. Such thought-provoking conversation in a such-early-morning-for-the-lying-in-bed me (though it's around 9 AM). Somehow that continued to watching Blood Diamond and so just like that we went with the flyingNun in the afternoon. Ah...hopefully metallotoro doesn't get too sad that he wasn't asked.
Blood Diamond was very very good. I don't want to use the word awesome because the story is actually a sad one. I cannot find a better word in English to describe it, other than sad. In Indonesian it would be prihatin. Anyway, I think Leonardo DiCaprio was amazing. He really has some depth as an actor. Kinda remind me of Johnny Depp actually. They just seemed to be able to pick good roles and awed us with their performance. It would be interesting to see Leonardo in a romantic drama playing his handsome self, because his recent movies always portrayed him as not so clean cut anymore. In Blood Diamond, Leo spoke in African English, for a while I thought it would be fun hearing him in Singlish, him or any other Hollywood actors for that matter
The Valkyries by Paulo Coelho
Finished reading this book, around 2 weeks since I started it, which is considered quite fast for me. The book is about a spiritual journey, about love. The first sentence written at the back of the book cover was, Why is it that we destroy the things we love most?. You may disagree and find the sentence to be odd. But I think it's true, because I did / do that. The Mr may be able to say that merda must be flushed out, but hey the truth is, it was something good. From the short summary written at the back of the book, it seemed so interesting, hence why I bought it. I have no energy to write a summary of my own, so sorry. It wasn't a really easy book for me to read because the book explored spirituality and relationship with God in ways and methods that I wasn't "raised" or educated with. It's like, I'm gonna use Jesus as an example. You know the Christians believe in Jesus Christ and see Jesus as God. However, God itself, the Father (Jesus is the son) is a bigger concept than Jesus is. I always believe that there is God and I don't think that it is have to be through Jesus you can connect to God (though I am sure many Christians disagree with me). Coelho emphasized numerous time that God is love and I think this book explored the idea of relating with the love of God through other ways outside the boundaries of religions. At some parts, there were things that I agree and understand because it was similar with what I know. At other parts, I am just pretty skeptical because there are things that I would think wrong because the religion says so, but perhaps it you see it in a more universal Godly way, it becomes easier to accept.
Coelho wrote about getting forgiveness and I really relate with the fact that it is hard to receive forgiveness. Some may think it is easy, but it is true that it is us, ourself who is the most difficult person to forgive our own self. He also wrote about understanding and accepting blessing without thinking we are unworthy of it because of all the mistakes we make. I also relate with that. There are many times, I think I am not worthy to accept all the kindness that people give me because I am not really a good person. And as what Coelho was experiencing at the point of his journey, I am also in his cycle, of expecting a storm on a peaceful day. Everything goes alright in my life and yet I am like waiting in anticipation that surely a storm will come because again I am unworthy of a good life, and so without I know it, I may have sabotaged my own life just to satisfy that urge for the storm to come and hence you really do destroy the thing you love. Coelho went through quite a journey to get out of that cycle. I wonder how that would work out for me or if it will ever happen. I need to receive that forgiveness from God. What I mean by this is that, yes God forgives us but you yourself may not take the forgiveness He gives. The key is to forgive yourself first. It's a life process, I suppose and I need to give some time for me to ponder about this and experience it on my own.
It so happened, the pages that I read around 2 days ago talked about infatuation and love. Coelho was having an infatuation to one of the Valkyrie on that spiritual journey. He wrote about what makes infatuation different from love. The Mr was in disbelief because he doesn't think that one who is married would / should ever experience infatuation. To that I could only laugh
Parts of My Life in the Eyes of Others
In one of the email the Mr wrote me this few days, he wrote and I quote ...I must say that this can get out of hand one day...and that one day might happen sooner than later dudette!. He and Ms. J are trying to put some sense to my head. I got quite sad thinking of what they said in the bus yesterday. However after more talk with Ms. J and the flyingNun, this thing that they are warning me about is really so real and requires my utmost attention (By the way, I wonder why the 3 of us always ended up having heavy conversation in that place). The Mr and Ms. J have their own different reasons but they ended up in the same conclusion. Ms. J just wants me to have a pure and clean mind and heart, while the Mr is just really looking out for my best interest and reputation. It is strange I suppose. If I bring myself out of the situation, I think I will be saying the same thing as them. However, being inside it, I'm so clouded. As much as I think it's not my fault, it could very well be. The Mr just doesn't want me to tread and ending up falling off a cliff. Maybe I should take comfort in the fact that I am asking all this right or wrong questions, which means that I am sensing that it is wrong. Aah...so help me God, please.
Had the chance to go home with Gascoigne* this week. In the bus he said that only you can make yourself happy and only you can make yourself sad. He's right but it doesn't come easy for me. Infact it doesn't come at all. I hope I can stop being sad over small and stupid things, but I can't. I hope I can stop being so happy about things which are not right, but I can't. My head is so messed up, and so again I think I need to repeat that song, I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head...
*Get the nick of this person and if you are in my environment, you may know who I am talking about
:) eKa @ 12:03:00 AM • 0 comments
Monday, January 01, 2007
Felice Anno Nuovo tutti (Happy New Year all). Was feeling rather in the sad side actually yesterday, because I was alone here without anything to do. Really wished more than anything to be at home, because at least there would have been some company. But yesterday, apparently all my family members spent the new year without each other. Mom decided to stay over at her brother's house with her sister. So she's there. My dad was alone at home. I was alone in Singapore, and my bro was in Bandung. Well, at least my mom had her siblings and my dad had his brother just a few metres away. My cousin went home yesterday. I didn't really spend much time with her when she was here. She had her friends and they had really explored all the major malls in Singapore. I'm not really into shopping and I didn't really enjoy going out with her friends hence why I didn't really spend much time with her. Had a good talk though when I was with her, in all our meals. She coincidentally met "some people" when she was here and I wonder why me who have been living here for some time never ever bump into these people. Such divine intervention.Yesterday, to get myself out of my room (being in my room just made me feel more pathetic), I actually went to the church. Been some time since I was last there. I'm glad that I made it, because it was one of the last few masses to be held in that hall. The church is undergoing renovation. I'm not into making new year resolution, because I waver pretty easily, but I actually made an earnest prayer to God. Let me confess first that I think I pretty much lost in my own world during the sermon. Seriously I just couldn't seem to concentrate. But in the little time I managed to concentrate, I prayed that God would give me courage, courage to make a decision and follow it through. I kinda finally decided that I would do something. I hope I won't waver. It is perhaps the most irresponsible thing I ever do and at this age of mine (gosh! I'm so old in 2007), being irresponsible is not something I should be doing. However, I just feel I need to release myself.
Last year, at the start of the year, I kinda thought that I would take it easy in 2006. To take breaks, when I want and need to. Alas, I didn't really do it. Only sickness put me down. See, I really can not do all this new year resolution thing. What happen was, in 2006, I became less patient. At times I think I appeared as fierce, tough, and cold hearted. Now that I think about it, it's kinda sad because I don't get a chance to show that I'm actually a nice person, a nicer person at least. Maybe I should console myself and say that though it is in the very littlest way, I am appreciated.
Asked Vivy out for an Indonesian lunch. We successfully found The Rice Table. I think it was purely by sheer luck. I don't think some of the food are really Indonesian. Is it a stereotype that Indonesians eat spicy food? In most of the dish, there were chili. Totally wrong and totally bad for digestion. Don't think we ate our money worth (it was all you can eat), but I think the place is not so bad. After lunch, we walked around. I bumped into the pretty Esther, who excitedly embraced me. Aahh...she's so nice. Me and Vivy then decided to have our dessert at Delifrance. All the walking got me hungry again. My chocolate fondant with ice cream was great. However, I can not deny feeling that it would get me diabetes. Afterwards we shopped for shoes. I got shoes! It's brown! Chose that one because it's much cheaper compared to the slightly nicer one. So I gave in to cheaper one. Then we went home and here I am writing. Holiday is ending. School is starting. Seriously feeling like when I was a student back home, feeling that holiday is ending. Though there were times we felt bored during holiday but we didn't want it to end. It has to, of course. Nothing we can do about it and I'm pretty much gonna die on Wednesday *sigH*
:) eKa @ 8:43:00 PM • 0 comments
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