Charmingly Sentimental Brain

Sometime it matters pretty much. Sometime it doesn't matter. Sometime the desire to take the plunge and chase that dream kicks in badly that everything seems possible. Sometime reality checks come in and the dream has lots of paper works to be dealt with. This morning was one of those days when I felt pretty demoralized. Not having the happiest day today though people had been pretty nice. Feeling very mellow and sad and afraid. I wonder why though these feelings can continue to seep through, I never get used to it. I just need to take that step perhaps and take it from there. But days like these are the days when I'm very clouded and waver. I guess I need to remind myself times and times again that I need to do justice for my life and I don't want to die without having done something really really good for me. You can't rely on other people, so you must make sure that you will be kind to yourself.

Was invited to a traffic party tonight. I must say that the concept is interesting. However of course I didn't go. Here I am blogging. The peeps were pretty nice about it and tried their best to convince me to go. I'm always stunned with the sincere care that people show me, especially these peeps. They are really nice people. Gosh, chances like this may not come again, to be invited to a party by the organizer herself who happens to be quite well known in her industry. But it's just not me. I wouldn't know how to react and I would be a bore there. Nevertheless I can not help thinking that the 10-year old me would have expected the 25-year old me to do such thing. So see, I am already disappointing myself. Maybe I can take comfort that I am not yet 25? No, I cannot *sigh*

Flood has gone away in my parent's parts of the world. So home is a real possibility now. It will not be long enough for me, but I guess I must make do with it, and get all the necessary life discussion going on. It's really important for me to know that they are supportive with what I want to do. Afterwards, I guess I should really get off my chair and get moving. It's very scary thinking of everything, thinking of all the people I've met. The people pretty much got me thinking a lot today. It has been a blessing and an interesting encounter indeed. Like the people I've been spending my Saturdays with. It was scary when I first started and I still get nervous pretty often, but it's been an interesting meetings with them. So I will leave you with a line from one of Letto's song, I'll Find a Way, below. It's not just about a person, it's about many people, a group of people, and of places. The title of the post is also from one of their song, Truth, Cry, and Lie. I hope I am that charmingly sentimental brain

...you cast your spell on me darling...

:) eKa @ 11:19:00 PM •

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