Tuesday, May 29, 2007

oH my Captain Jack Sparrow

Went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End alone today. So happy about it. Actually there's a plan to watch it with some people tonight but apparently the whole of Singapore are thinking the same thing, so the slots that we wanted in the different cinemas that we tried were pretty much full. Lucky me, I had quite a flexible hour today and so I got to watch the digital one, at the grand Cathay, at S$7! So happy. Been spending too much money these days and I just felt so happy that I was able to watch it at one of my favorite cinema (currently) on a weekday price. Another happy thing was the fact that I got to do it alone! Just felt tranquil and in peace on my way home. A "he" perhaps would be nice, but today I just feel so happy being with me. You can borrow Captain Jack Sparrow's lines "Keep telling yourself that, darling" and throw it at me

Let's talk about the movie. Well, perhaps you have read in many places that the critics are saying that the movie is messy and the story is complicated. I have to rather agree with them. I think starting from the 2^nd Pirates movie, the story just didn't really have that much kick in wittiness and interesting twists anymore. I guess the first Pirates was just really unexpected. It had a simple story and there were interesting twist and the witty lines from Jack Sparrow just made people (girls and guys alike) all over the world fell for Johnny Depp, because he's so freaking cool. The 2^nd movie focused more on other things like for example: Will Turner's father story and things just became more serious(?) I think perhaps the best moment from the 2^nd movie was when Jack Sparrow was the tribal chief, and he had to be sacrificed. I remember there were lots of laughter there.

Were there much laughter in the 3^rd installment? No is the answer and perhaps this what made the movie may not be as entertaining as the others and fell really short from the 1^st movie. The movie started with the scene in Singapore and was it like Singapore in the old days? I'm not so sure. The story became so complex of who betraying who, who was being sneaky, who wanted what, who did what. I guess in the end, people just stopped trying to follow the story and understand the whole thing. For me, I just sat there and watched all the actions that follow, knowing that the good guy (this means Jack Sparrow) would win In this latest movie, there's an additional love story which was quite predicted for me and quite easy to follow. I actually quite liked Tia Dalma from the 2^nd movie but in this one, well she grew bigger and exploded and that was kinda too strange for me. I think her story and Davy Jones' was not really resolved well.

The writers may know that the people love Jack Sparrow so much that they made many of him in this one, but that wasn't that entertaining. I guess with the complex story there's perhaps a need to use many Jack Sparrow to say his thoughts out loud because if not things would get even more confusing. However I can't say that it helped much. Elizabeth and Will Turner's story was, ah those 2 were getting more annoying. Somehow I just felt their characters' developments were just to give them more screen time, especially in Kiera Knightley's case and geez that's not really interesting at all. Will Turner as a fierce pirate just didn't fly with me. I didn't really know who Keith Richards is, whom Johnny Depp were said to be used as inspiration to create Jack Sparrow. So when this guy appeared as Jack Sparrow's father, well that didn't really give much impression. Jack Sparrow's expression at that time were more amusing rather than the presence of this guy. There were just too many this and that which made this movie rather not exciting.

Overall, I would still say that the movie is entertaining. I will say all the Pirates installment are entertaining in respect to the awesome first movie and Johnny Depp's amazing Jack Sparrow. This movie, despite of the complexity and some stupid scenes (Hello!!! the scene of the bad guy walking amongst flying debris before finally got exploded was just rather too unnecessarily dramatic) did have nice special effects and cool fighting scenes. The writers are perhaps original at some point, like the rock crabs. Unfortunately, that's pretty much that stick in my head. I can't really point out any other interesting facts. So do I recommend Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End? Well if you have watched the 1^st and the 2^nd one, then you should. If you did not, then this perhaps may come boring for you.

Oh despite all, I just LOVE Captain Jack Sparrow. Man oh man! I love him!

:) eKa @ 11:06:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, May 26, 2007

[untitled] - 26/05/07

Feel hungry as I am writing this. It's quite late and why am I not sleeping? I think it's because I'm restless. Just finished (well I decided that it's finished) writing the codes to kill the tortoise in Il Gatto's car racing frenzy. Now that I think of it, I hope that is what he wants me to do. Not following instruction do frustrate me a whole lot. Anyways, his codes are so complicated that in this hour and day, I can't bring my brain to digest it. That got me thinking, I stick to the basic, to simplicity because I can understand what I write and I need to understand what I write instead of getting it from other places. However, I may not grow much as a result of that.

Apparently on other area, I do not stick to the basic. Ah, non penso come un' italiana e perciò la mia scrittura non era bene. I've got my test's result. It's C A B B. The C was expected but was still a real bummer for me. I can't really count the A because I think it's sheer luck. The Bs are ... well ... let's just say that I'm pretty disappointed with the result. It's pretty much expected and a true representation of how I fair, but I guess you are often get moronic, wanting to have so many things and not having that reality check. Anyways, more or less I think everyone are in the same place. Carl vince una borsa di studio in Italia per l'anno prossimo. Lei è molto felice. Vuole gridarlo al tutto mondo. Duh! Can you blame her? Surprisingly I wasn't really jealous or envious. Stupidly, I have to kinda process am I envious? The correct answer is yes, but not really feeling it. I guess being depressed kinda drain you of emotion and yes, today I feel rather depressed. Not so sure why actually. The test? the loneliness? I just feel restless today and I want to shout "GOD DAMN IT!!!"

Yesterday I actually felt rather happy though it did start rather sad because Vivy had left (and arrived). Then yesterday went on and I survived it pretty okay, I suppose. So I ended it feeling accomplished and I felt happy about it. Today is a real opposite. I guess, yes, right, you can only live happily ever after on a day to day basis. Had an interesting talk with the pet uncle yesterday. If I am in a better state of brain I would write more details. Yesterday, I felt like I was in a confession because the normal conversation turned to other directions and revelation was told. Aaah...I felt honored to be trusted but many thoughts came to my head. How I have to really keep it to myself and not talking simply because of the shocking nature of the content (please note the things discussed weren't tagged "keep it to yourself" however I do practice common sense). These last few days and weeks, I've felt somewhat betrayed by people who talk and somewhat implicate me. They can have their argument and this and that, but I just want peace and with words being said here and there and with my name in it, I just feel that I want to get lost (since they ain't). Another thing about the things people told me, aaahh...sometime those shocking things are just too much for me, hence why now I feel rather tired hearing stories. Always start with normal things that turn into deeper stuff. I guess that's what friends are for? Okay.

I guess now I'm just in a really selfish mode that I want someone to care for me. I don't need all those crappy things that people say, "Whatever it is that you want to say, I will be here for you". Yeah right?!? I want someone to come to me and ask "My dear, are you okay?". Ha! The uncle and me want the same things

Today I found out from Dewi about the psycho who is bugging my cousin and her. So freaky! I feel pissed hearing the story and seeing the evidence. Seriously feel like hunting down the guy and smack the living daylight outta him. Called mom today and she asked me an annoying question which becomes annoying because of the so many people asking me this. Aaaaarrrghhh ... it's like such an unimportant detail in my life right now. I want other things, so this one is not really in my head so much right now. Ask God people, don't ask me.

1 am now and I still don't want to go to sleep. "want" is the operative word. I just feel so restless and I just don't want to sleep.

:) eKa @ 11:55:00 PM • 0 comments

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Born Into Brothels

...and the spending spree continues *sigh* Went to watch Born Into Brothels with La Gioia, Gascoigne, and Lois yesterday. Totally unplanned. Lois wanted to watch it yesterday, she was ready to watch it alone and I asked La Gioia if she wanted to watch it as well. She said yes and I was tempted. Ah...I'm not one who can easily turn down a movie opportunity. Why Gascoigne was there? I'm not sure why I thought of him when we wanted to watch the movie. Anyways, those facts are not interesting, right? Let's talk about the movie.

It is actually a documentary which won an Oscar for Best Documentary Feature in 2005. Yes, quite an old movie, isn't it? I wonder why it only gets around now. It told the story of these kids who were born into prostitute families who live in the red light district in Calcutta, India. An American photographer Zana Briski (which I admire truly) found her way to this area and just fell in love with the kids and the story of their lives. She taught them how to take pictures using cameras, equipped them with cameras so that they can take whatever picture they like, took them on field trip and such so that they could take more pictures, and spent hours and obviously money to get a better future for them, by trying to get them into boarding school. Truly an amazing person. Being able to live there is amazing, and being able to work whole heartedly for these kids are just beyond words. She started this foundation kids with camera in which they are involved with kids in Haiti and Jerusalem as well.

The movie itself focused more on the children rather than Zana. I found them to be truly amusing. I think they're around 11 or 12 years old and they spoke the most profound sentences for someone as young as them. They know fully well what their lives are about, what the people around them do, and most sadly what their fates are. The brothels are such a scary environment to live in. It's dirty. It's full of bad people who curse and swear and say mean things to the kids. It's full of drunk people, where drugs and alcohol are everywhere. It's a totally unbelievable place to live in and these are where the kids are living. Is it a good movie? I don't think one can say a documentary like this as a good one or not. It tells a story, a sad one at that. I don't think it has a beginning and an end because it told a short part of these people's lives, hence who are we to judge whether it is a good story. I think for one it makes you feel thankful that you are far from there and you are so blessed. Two, I think it kinda slaps you in the face really of how you often get absorbed on your materialistic pursue while you can truly use all your energy and resources to help others who are in a real shit hole. Yeah, it's kinda embarrassing that we are still sitting here and blogging. Okay let me not speak on your behalf, let me speak on mine. Life should be useful and again my one is not really so.

On other news. Went for dinner with Vivy on Monday, Garuda Padang at Vivo city and we ate a whole lot. Aside for movies, I will miss all the Indonesian food with Vivy. I don't think I can drag any other people to eat Indonesian food with me, especially the overly priced meal in Garuda Padang. However, I really enjoyed the meal. She's leaving really soon and I am thinking of all the movies on my queue, Pirates of the Caribbean, Shrek, Ocean 13, Harry Potter, and so many others that will surely come out. Ah, it's the summer movies people. I really have to start being nice to many different groups of people so that they will accompany me on my movies urges or maybe it is time for some alone time??? Ah, it maybe is, since I've been hearing too many things these days and I'm getting tired with some people. I need some loving Since I'm not getting any, I should just enjoy my own company, I suppose.

:) eKa @ 8:54:00 PM • 0 comments

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Wind that Shakes Eka

Ciao tutti, come siete? A few things happened to me this week. Had a full day yesterday that when I wrote it in my diary, I wasn't even writing it chronologically since all the thoughts just rushed out. Now, I'm gonna try to do so.

So yesterday morning started with the test that I dreaded, aahhh, non è stato facile and Sabrina was like "NO?!?". Almeno per me, spero che ho fatto bene. Per orale, tutti hanno preso il tempo più lungo di me. Ho presso meno 5 minuti. E penso che non è stato bene. Aahhh, tentate di spiegare Spider-man 3 in Italiano. Non ho saputo parlare. Il peggio è quando Sabrina non ha capito che ho parlato *sigh* Però forse come Carla ha detto, almeno è finito. Si, dovrei essere felice adesso. 4^th level A is coming. I can't believe that I've made it this far. I think Carl didn't believe it as well. Oh the dedication we put into it We should be better than we are perhaps, but I think we are better than some and we can be proud of that.

After it, I met up with the girls, La Gioia and NanSee. La Gioia surprisingly called me Friday evening asking me if I wanted to watch a movie. She made some unknown suggestions, all of which I really have never heard before, except for 28 Weeks Later which I'm not interested and Priceless. In the end we settled with The Wind that Shakes the Barley, in which I know for sure it's so not NanSee's type of movie. It's in Irish. Hah! I make it sounds like a totally different language, but it can very well be since it can be quite hard to understand it at times. It felt it was a long and rather deep movie. I didn't feel sleepy though but I do feel like it's rather boring at times. My other entertainment was when La Gioia pointed out that NanSee was sleeping Maybe I should have suggested Blades of Glory which I was interested initially, but the more I saw the trailer, the more I thought it was rather too silly.

The Wind that Shakes the Barley is actually not bad. Cillian Murphy (pronounced Killian) was handsome! Okay, back to the story, the fate that the 2 brothers had to endure was very touching and sad, however the build up to that nice climax was too long and that main theme only took half an hour at the end of the movie. In a way, it is still a good movie because you get a little education of the Irish fight against the British and this may lead you to a wiki search, perhaps about IRA. Looking at the green meadows of Ireland, it reminded me when I was younger and so in love with a certain Irish boyband, which made me solemnly swear to visit Ireland one day I still hope I get to do that and stand on that meadow and hill and feel the wind.

After the movie, I made what I thought would be my purchase of the day, which was Linkin Park's latest album Minutes to Midnight, however I was so wrong. The CD was made in Malaysia and my God, there's some censorship which made me rather pissed. I think Indonesia wouldn't silent all the F words, even in the lyrics booklet. The album is totally different from Linkin Park's previous sounds. Well, they did promise something different. I don't have any favorite songs, I think I still have to digest it more. There's 1 or 2 that can be favorite, but overall I don't think the album came out as strong as I hoped it would be. Ah, I am maybe not used to this side of them. There's not much of Chester and Mike Shinoda together in the songs anymore. Most of it just Chester and he sounded softer actually. There was 1 song where I felt he actually sounds like one of those vocalists from Good Charlotte and such. I guess these guys are just done portraying angst in a screamingly way. I guess now their angst, frustration and perhaps depression comes in a more mellow way. I still think the lyrics are awesome though, I can imagine quoting it for my MSN nick. I've got an A1 poster with the purchase and aahh, again felt rather sad since I can't put it in my room. I can actually do that but I just feel that since this is not my room "my room", I felt it's rather inappropriate to do so. I want to give the poster to someone who can appreciate it, hopefully it'll get a nice wall soon.

Afterwards the plan was to shop with these girls, me being skeptical if I was gonna spend. But La Gioia's family were in Orchard so she joined them. So I was tasked in accompanying NanSee to satisfy her urges. But the first stop was for me actually. I'm actually already rather broke, but I got myself a Calvin perfume. Didn't regret it, felt happy with the purchase. I guess there were times when you were young when you wish you can buy certain stuffs, it's rather nice being older and being able to do so. Though in my case, I should not have spent so much yesterday. Bought some stuffs and the last purchase was totally unnecessary. I should say "Damn NanSee!!!" but I was not under a gun point It's all done, so just enjoy the materialistic things I suppose

Had a good talk with Starfish last night. Ah, I miss him, and the talks are the reasons why I miss him. In a way, it's rather stupid really to talk to certain people because you know they're gonna give the response you wanna hear, because sometime you need to hear things that you don't want to hear. I guess I like talking to Starfish because there are opinions that we share and ah, I think it will be so much better if he was here, especially this week, because I know I'm not alone in what I think. I guess I just want to shift responsibility and burden The life talks were also comforting in a way, he kinda ensured me that this waiting period are perhaps necessary in my life. I need to believe that

So this week, some things have happened. There are a few that I would rather not talk about. I am tired of certain things but I'm trying to be "lebih dewasa" about it, hahahahahahaa ... I'm not gonna translate that in English because it's rather too silly for me to say it out loud Mother sent an sms on Tuesday evening and it kinda freaked me out because it's so like she has a 6^th sense or something. Vivy said it's mother intuition. Yeah, mothers have that, this is not the first time my mother sensed correctly what I do. I think she has nothing to worry about though. But as Vivy had written, it’s vague and relative and so we will never know how it's gonna turn out.

Had many talks this week, but one that I want to write about is l.o.v.e You wanna laugh peeps? Well, there were talks about why guys do the nicest thing without actually having the intention to make a commitment with the girl. An answer was given like they just like the thrill of the chase. A conclusion was made like all the guys out there are evil! Yeah, there are many bad guys out there. However, last night it so happened that there were 2 guys who admitted that their past relationships still haunt them and churn their inside. Yeah, apparently relationship does matter to some guys This week, I realize that the furthest I've been to a broken heart is knowing that my crush has a girlfriend, when the fact is a fail relationship is so much worse. Maybe I am lucky to never experience it so far, but I guess all these experiences have made all these people so much better

Okay, it's been a long post, what else to write? Felt so sleepy during my nap today that I didn't want to wake up. I slept 1 hour longer than I planned to. Hopefully I can sleep tonight. Then there's tomorrow, I guess as discussed with Starfish, take it one day at a time and be happy if there's bright sky and clouds that make our days

PS: good for Juventus being back in Serie A

:) eKa @ 9:16:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, May 12, 2007

The Attention Span of a Goldfish

Question: How long is the attention span of a goldfish?

I wiki-ed it out and found this. May not answer the question, but I found it interesting.

Gonna write this in points, simply because then I am allowed to jump into random things without the need to maintain continuity.

- It is damn hot right now! Aaarrghh...

- Am much better now but did experience complication with a cough medicine I took. That caused me to take another drug to "fix" it. La Gioia said maybe I should stop taking all the different drugs. So I did that. Drug free yesterday and still haven't taken anything now. The cough seems to be reducing greatly but I think I still need to take the drugs.

- I remember the Mr telling me that he went to watch Spider-man with his nephew and his nephew got bored with all the talking and just wanted to see all the swinging action. I wonder what his take (the nephew I mean) on Spider-man 3. To be honest, I wasn't that excited about watching the latest movie but then Vivy reminded me long before the release and so by default we were planning to watch it together then she has the whole family situation (which fortunately is so much better than the initial diagnose) and as such we couldn't watch it together. Then ...

- NanSee called me out on Thursday and asked me to watch it together on Friday night. So arrangement was made, people were invited and tickets were booked and she couldn't make it!!! It's not her fault but I still wanted to scream. Luckily La Gioia was willing to take her place because she dozed off on several scenes when she went to watch it last week. So it was me, La Gioia, Gascoigne (because I did say I would treat him a movie) and yMaggio (Gascoigne wanted to nick her November saying that there are a lot of girls out there named November, yeah he's strange. Why yMaggio? I have logical explanation, ask me!). Anywho...

- The movie...aaarrgh, I actually felt so sleepy. I don't know if it's because I am really so not used to of being more active at night. I felt the movie was long and somehow being long didn't really please me. Either I was so tired or really losing interest, I just can't really remember much details of it. I think my first instinct comment would be "James Franco is so handsome!!!" and as such I hate what happened to him. STUPID really!. I thought the climax when Spider-man had to save Mary Jane was kinda a reminiscence of the first movie. I felt some scenes were a bit unnecessary, for example the part where Peter Parker danced in the cafe. It did make for quite an entertainment but I thought he was such an ass so I didn't like it. Storywise and character developments, well other people would talk more excitedly about it than me I think it was nothing new? It was expected? I don't know. Overall, I think I am not too ecstatic about it and as such I should stop writing about it.

- Prabh ci invita to his solemnization ceremony. Sabrina was asking why and what's with the decision. He said there's a lot of processes and this is just the kick off. I am so interested in going and honored che lui mi invita but I may not go. Last week, Ayu also gave me an early invitation to her wedding and I am so tempted to go. We're not actually that close "close" but she's so nice to me. Anyway so ...

- That got me to thinking; my first reaction when Ayu gave me the invitation was "you are sure?" about getting married I mean. The 10-year old me would be all excited that this girl gets to get married at her age but the 25-year old is just damn skeptical. Then after hearing Prabh answered Sabrina's questions, the thoughts came to my head that well you can dream of being in love and such but perhaps it's just more about being realistic like what Ayu wrote in her blog. I think perhaps getting married is like forming a union or a team with someone that you can be with, a friend who shares similar views on life, who eventhough may not share the same opinion on things, you know you can live with it. Someone who you know you will have fights with but they will not be bad ones, basically someone who you would enjoy being disagree with. Someone with all their imperfectness which you can accept. Someone who you know will be there with you with all the obstacles in life and you know you two will be able to work it out perfectly. Yeah things like that. Of course some degree of love is needed but I suppose it is finding that someone who can work with you, better than all the others you've met.

- Had a small talk with Carl today about life and such. I really do admire her and it feels good that she was open about her story and encouraging about taking the leap but as she said you yourself will know what you need the most and when you need it. Still, I still don't know about stuff. What I know is I have a weird self restrain and as Stella pointed out one time, I do can stay in a bad situation for a long time and now I feel that it is so wrong. It doesn't help that today's horoscope said: Change and growth are the name of the game. If you fight the turn of the tide, you'll get increasingly uncomfortable reminders from the universe about what path you need to be on. . Let me wait? Let me wait for a while? I do feel it's a sign though with that horoscope and finding out sQin is taking a sabbatical and the talk with Gascoigne about indulging myself with a nice room (at home in Indonesia) like what he is gonna do within 7 days. Oh God, aiutami! I am most scared that I will be punished by God for ignoring the signs.

- So will be having test next week. I am damn nervous and scared, considering my last test was 4 years ago. I really have to work hard but Prabh thinks I'm being all Singaporean about it. He is perhaps right. I just don't want to sucks! I think I'm gonna sucks simply because I'm making a big deal out of this when it actually doesn't matter. Carl shot me a look and said something like how far we've gone since our day 1. I still remember day 1 and it's fated that Carl was always nearby

- I have a song list right on the left, so maybe I shouldn't be writing this; but recently I am so loving Michael Buble's Everything. I think it's so not Michael Buble though. I kinda feel it has a country feel to it. Is it really Bono on the video? The stupidest thing is that I am feeling someone when I hear this song and that's just plain stupid.

I feel like I have more things to say, but I don't have time so ciao tutti! Buon fine settimana, okay!

:) eKa @ 8:29:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, May 05, 2007

My Wrong Decisions This Week

- Should not have eaten McDonalds for dinner on Monday, knowing that my throat hurt. That I did, add an ice cream cone to that.

- Should have taken the antibiotic on Monday night since I was in so much pain. That I didn't.

- Should not have gone out on Tuesday. That I did.

- Should have rested on Wednesday. That I didn't.

- Should have rested on Thursday. That I didn't.

- Should have marched on, on Friday (because I wasn't actually dying). That I didn't.

That's one wrong decision after another. In which at any point, I could have made a right one and not having it culminated to a real mess. I felt guilty. Somehow I felt I shouldn't be, because I can be selfish once a while? I don't know. Have so many things to say, in so many languages, but this week, I'm just gonna keep it short. Statemmi bene, tutti!

:) eKa @ 9:39:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Getting to Know the Grey Area

La Gioia said (for 2 times already I think) that things are so black and white in my world, while in hers and many others there's such thing as the grey area. I am not so sure if she is right but I do have a particular stand on some things. Why is this short introduction? Well, let's just read this post and see if this short introduction is apt.

Woke up not feeling so good today because I didn't have a good night sleep. It's been happening everyday lately¹. So I was late as usual. Grabbed MacDonald's milo because I didn't have the chance to buy a proper thing to eat. Was rather stunned to see half of the peeps didn't show up. Just found out that Carl va in Philippine, un' altra vacanza. Beata lei. La fidanzata di Prabh è qui, e forse loro vanno in vacanza. Molta gente va in vacanza ... ah beata loro. Anyways, Arianna was really nice, and overall it was a nice session though I had to muster every will in my being to concentrate. Oh yeah, I was shocked to find out that I didn't finish something, ho dimenticato! Ah...I should really put in more effort. Less chatting on the Net, Eka!

Afterwards, met Vivy in Orchard. She's having quite a sad situation. I wish everything will be alright. Had lunch (roast chicken). Saw some vaio, geez, I love nice computers and I so want to explore Windows vista (though I already saw something I don't like) Then I finally got my iPod. Was still undecided between the black one or iPod U2, but then I decided to ask for iPod U2, in which the person said there's no stock. Vivy's reaction was why don't we try other places, she thought you should really try to get what you want. My reaction was it's okay lah, nggak jodoh (not fated). So I settled with the black one. Happy? Err...well, it's not like I really really really wanted it. I got it and it was quite a spending, but I haven't regretted it, so I think it's okay? Moving on, being the gluttony me, I just had to have dessert. Ended up in Borders Bistro. Loved my black forest, kinda enjoyed the place as well. Our first time trying that place. I actually ordered a spritzer, which was white wine + soda, thinking that it would perhaps taste nice and not so alcoholic. I was kinda very wrong. Well, I suppose the not so alcoholic part is right, but for me it was still rather too much. The smell was strong and it was bitter. I guess I am not really a wine person. Vivy herself didn't enjoy it and after a few ice cubes, I managed to finish it

I felt kinda weird myself that my alcohol encounter came this soon. Yesterday I had dinner with the pets and their partners and some pet friends. Hhhmm...I do must say that the places by the Singapore river are pretty cool. Anyways the crazy uncle used his birthday to make us take shots of vodka. I was seriously in doubt if I should do it. To be fair, my one was not a shot, he already poured so much less. However, I just felt it was kinda wrong. I don't know why, maybe the whole situation? I guess there are a few things that friends should not ask other friends to do, such as smoking (normal or weed), drinking, and other things that I can't really think of right now Then, drinking alcohol is just not something that I condone. I don't know, I just don't feel it's right. Then of course there's that small thing in the back of my mind that my mom wouldn't like me doing this kinda stuff. Anyways, it kinda went in blur, because I felt I shouldn't take it and wouldn't be able to handle it and there's the whole people looking at me holding the glass and anticipating if I would take it. In the end I did, I don't know why, maybe because why not? maybe because I don't think it will affect me much? Maybe also because I felt that I already made it such a big deal and another 10 minutes of me trying to get away from it would be embarrassing. I didn't like the taste. I gulped a glass of water after it just to get the taste away. Overall, I didn't really feel any effect at all Aaah...I should really stop experimenting with alcoholic drinks.

Had dinner with Vivy last Tuesday. Had talks about the stories people told me. The stupid things people say, the way people handle their problems. A revelation occurred that I look life in a more Christian way instead of in a Buddhist way. After a wiki search, I realized that I don't really know much about Buddhism, though it's my religion in my Indonesian ID card. Ask me about Jesus, I can give you better answer. Anyway, Vivy is a Buddhist and she does have quite a different view of seeing the happening in our life. She believes in karma, the good one and the bad one. As Buddhist, God the supreme being is not really in their belief. How does creation come along in Buddhism? I'm not sure, ask them. Anyways, that's not the point of our discussion. We were discussing about a certain problem someone I know has and how he chooses to deal with it. As much as we agreed that this guy's solution is pretty stupid, we had differing view on the nature of how the problem comes along. Well, Vivy kinda somewhat agreed with the guy on my theory of why such things happen but again I guess we just have different belief I guess I believe that sometime life is sucky because yeah "cobaan bisa datang mendera hidup" I'm sorry, I can't find an English translation for it I don't know how to say "cobaan" in English. Anyway and so with that belief, I also believe in God (in the existence of Him) who can lift our problems and it is really in Him alone that we should submit all our problems. Why am I preaching here? I don't know

¹So the part about not being able to sleep. Well, I made plans and one by one, they crumbled before me. Maybe because they weren't solid plans anyways, but there was 1 that I was really hoping for a lot. I don't know why I could be so stupid and not see that it had a high chance of failure. I guess it was because it was a dream *sigh* That made me really really sad, I can feel depression kicking in. I haven't cried yet. So I guess I can still be thankful. However, my body has already felt this emotional turn. One of it is me not being able to sleep well. Always get awoken earlier than I plan to. There's also the funny and tiring dreams, such as the ones that hunted me this morning, one after another. Damn it! Come to think of it, I guess I haven't been having a real good sleep for a long long time. I don't know what to say. Other things are happening and ... sigh, I can be acceptant, I can be grateful, I can be happy but it feels like I'm in denial. I don't know if I'm being ungrateful or this is really not my place. So much confusion and I just feel so much frustration. I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe I need to talk to older people more. Oh yeah, Mr. Italian job didn't come last Monday. See ... it's really hard to get hold of him, well he did have a good reason, being sick and all. Alright peeps, you take care okay. Hope your days are so much brighter.

:) eKa @ 10:49:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Babi Babi Liar

I am so sleepy as I am writing this. I think people often forget that I start my Saturday early and in a real full swing. I'm not complaining, so why bother reminding you I suppose? Went to watch Wild Hogs with Vivy today. The title of the post is my Indonesian translated version of Wild Hogs I totally totally LOVE the movie. I laughed so much from the beginning to the end. It was totally entertaining and I think the 4 big actors were great. William H Macy got the role as a softie geek. My goodness, he was annoyingly funny I think I've never seen him in a comedy before. My impression of him is a strong drama actor. Can't help thinking that he has many Felicity Huffman trace in him Martin Lawrence was of course funny. Tim Allen's role was actually the wiser one and the sound of wisdom among the gang. John Travolta was actually the wild and silly one in the gang. He was really good actually. I think his cool factor is very high, I find him really amusing. There were many witty lines in this movie, almost every scene is funny. I was totally satisfied and I am recommending this to all of you to watch it. The 4 big Hollywood actors are big for a reason and they were really entertaining in this movie. I think the story itself is an interesting one. I think people can relate of being stuck in the daily routine and finding yourself thinking what have I done all this time, where did my life go, and how did I become what I become and the desire to just run away from all the responsibility. The fight may be a bit too far fetched (all for the sake of comedy) but it's still a good and funny one, up until when the credits were rolling So go and watch it, okay peeps.

Shall I give you an update with life? I don't think Vivy is writing this in her blog, maybe because she is humble but let me just write a few things because it kinda affects me in a way. She's going for a barbecue with Bill Gates. Yes, the real one, I wonder if it's so hard to believe that people needed to be reassured. Gascoigne needed to be explained in details to believe it. Anyways, so yeah, lucky her. I was kinda in a star struck mode when she told me the news. I guess I am star struck for her, because she hasn't thought much about it. So, for that she is leaving Singapore for some time (I don't want to give the details here) and that surprisingly made me kinda brokenhearted. Well, being sad is expected but as the realization sinks in further, I just got so sad. It's losing that only Indonesian voice that pretty much can understand the crazy Indonesian me, losing the movie friend (I must say I influence her a lot on this), losing a person who can discuss a book with me or other issue, losing my supply of songs and movies *sigh* I just realize that we do spend a lot of time together. Very very sad and it's gonna be a real loss. But people are moving on I suppose.

So yesterday I told someone about how I sad I am with Vivy leaving and all I got was a 1-sentence of "take it easy". That didn't help to comfort me. See, I've listened to people....oh I have listened to story about boys, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriend's girlfriend, boyfriend's family, girls, girlfriend, ex girlfriend, housemates, friends, room, colleague, and other stuffs. I may ask many questions that I need to be told to shut up but I do listen and as much as this may sound hard to believe, I do keep some things to myself. There are things which were told to me that I really do not share with anyone, even on things which wasn't tagged "please keep this to yourself, don't tell anyone". So when I tell someone something which was personal and the response was a short sentence, I do wonder a bit. I'm not saying that some people are selfish that they are so absorbed with their lives that they can continue talking about their stuffs and not noticing me who listen to them. Seriously, I wonder how much these people know about me in return. Yes, I may hide a few things about me, but sometime they just don't ask and continue blabbing about their stuffs. Yeah, I can call them selfish, but I just got to thinking that perhaps it is the way it is meant to be in my relationship (currently) with them, that I am in a state of listening. They may not listen to me or perhaps they may not be the right person to listen to my personal stuff, but I guess it's okay. I perhaps do much better for them by listening than them to me by listening. It does feel a bit sad that the people I thought could have comforted me if I tell them stuff, are not able to do so simply because they fail to listen to what I'm actually saying but I think I will survive. It's ironic really, that for example I can have a walk with il Gatto for almost every day of the week and finding myself telling someone else something which he perhaps could have understood and comforted me better. It's not his fault. It's not anyone's fault because as I said, perhaps this is the part of my life when I should just listen more.

Okay enough about that. Almost bought an iPod today. Vivy asked why the sudden urge. I told her the sentence she once told me "don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today" or "today / any day is as good as ever" I didn't buy it. I still feel pretty restrained from it. We will see, maybe next week? Mr. Italian Job said he would come for lunch on Monday. I'm so excited and looking forward for this but I think I shouldn't get my hope high. I'll see it when he's actually there. Take care peeps. Buon fine settimana!

:) eKa @ 7:10:00 PM • 0 comments

Sunday, April 15, 2007

After Week 2, April 2007

No movie this week. Was really tempted to watch something, that I was almost going for Meet The Robinsons. Really kinda get addicted to movies that though I actually don't have any movie that I'm really looking forward to, I am thinking of watching Wild Hogs. The reasoning is that all the 4 big actors in Hollywood should make it for an entertaining watch. Let's just see if I can rally people to watch that with me.

So it has been a quiet and uneventful weekend. I could have perhaps arranged a lunch or something, but decided not to. I wanted to sleep on Sunday and enjoy the TV during weekend. Kinda enjoyed View from the Top last night, though I think the story was not made to be close to reality. Candice Bergen's character was so unbelievably nice that I was waiting that she did something manic, and that didn't happen. It was not great, it was okay and somewhat entertaining.

Had a chat with a few people on Friday night. Kinda felt a bit weird and overwhelmed with 4 windows popping up. It's been a while since I really do a "serious" chat. Last time I did that a lot was when I was in Uni, with all the msn and icq and mirc I guess these days, I use msn if I do really want to talk to someone about something important. I mean even if I talk about something personal or things of no importance, I normally do it with 1 person, but there were 4 of them on Friday.

One was my cousin, which I really enjoyed. It's pretty cool that she can get online more often now and talk to me, it's really good to talk more to her. Talked about where we are in our lives. She said how funny that we are somewhat in the same state. I think I have more frustration than hers though, and I think she also has more experience on certain things. Talked about our family and she said that we have such strange / weird family, which I used as my msn nick. She said something like, "Gosh! you use it as your nick!" Yeah we do have a weird family, I personally think we have a "sinetron" (a term used to called Indonesian drama soaps) like family, with all the drama and supernatural content Seriously, we will make a dramatic story. The ending has yet to be written and so we will wait to see how things will eventually work out. Been talking to my cousin about what I want to do and she is very supportive about it and it puts me at ease a bit. The same thing can't really be said about my mom. Aaaaarrgghhh...seriously! I wish she can be more supportive but I was just rather pissed last night after the short talk with her. I just got reminded of an episode of Malcolm in the Middle that I watched yesterday. Dewey confronted his mom and asked why she tried to sabotage him when he's going for a piano competition. His mom said all parents sabotage their kids at one point in their lives (I don't know if I want to believe that), she said that what matter was to keep moving on despite of not getting any support in doing what you want. Yeah, I guess she has a point. I guess parents will always have apprehension with what the kids want and as such not giving the kids their full support and encouragement and at the end of the day, you just have to move on despite of not having anyone backing you up. See, you are really alone in your life, you really need to be able to rely on yourself.

Talked to Ms. J as well on Friday. Get an update of her life. I only got the updates on Friday because I've been rather occupied this week, I'm just thankful it's all over and it wasn't bad. Anyway, the previous weeks we touched on issue about all the lines that boys said to us or we heard from other girls, how cheesy they were and how these boys seem not to think of the effects of these lines (maybe they do know the effect but they just don't care). We actually wanted to make a top ten list of cheeziest lines This week we talked about how confused boys are Yeah, some guys are just confused and as such they do stupid things Talking to her make me realize that sometime it's not the other person who breaks our heart, it is we ourselves who break our heart. I wonder why it came like a revelation to me, when I have made it happened to myself. I guess my reasoning at that time was that it was the right thing to do. The same reasoning Ms. J is trying to believe now. It's kinda sad to ruin a good thing. See, as Coelho wrote Why is it that we destroy the things we love most?. Well I guess because we feel we don't deserve it? I told Ms. J that sometime people have a soft spot for other people, but that doesn't mean that they have a romantic feeling or anything. I think I kinda confuse her with this theory I believe that because I think I have received unexplainable kindness from some people, which I can only explain they do it because somehow they do care about me. Also because I found myself caring for some people though I have no special feeling for them. I don't know why I care, but I guess it's because the human in us.

Oh yeah, this reminded me of another revelation this week. I found out that I no longer feel that comfortable with someone whom I used to feel very close with. I found myself not talking to this person for days or perhaps weeks now. At the beginning it felt weird, but now I don't even think about it and it seems that I don't even see this person anymore, it's like this person is not part of my view. That's not the revelation, the revelation was that I totally feel okay about it, no tinge of sadness at all. It was shocking that I feel that way, that I actually don't care. Logically it feels a bit bad and wrong, but I don't feel that way at all. I don't know if it's a good thing but as I said, I don't care. Funny how things happen, don't you think?

Okay, gotta go now. For an uneventful weekends, I do have too many things to say, don't I?

:) eKa @ 7:24:00 PM • 0 comments

Sunday, April 08, 2007

of Weekend Movies

Let's see how fast I can finish writing this. Went to watch Conversations with Other Women with Vivy today. After an IMDB search, I found out that the movie was made in 2005, quite some time. I didn't know what the movie was about, going inside the theatre. Almost late, but I made it just on time. The movie was interesting because (well I don't know if I am explaining it correctly) it seemed that they are using 2 cameras, one followed the man and the other followed the women. So throughout the movie (except for the few last seconds) the screen was divided into 2 part, left and right, each showing different take. At the beginning of the movie I thought it felt like we were watching these 2 people having a conversation. Many side angles of their profile instead of a close up take of their faces. It's all about the conversation between this man and woman all throughout the movie. There's not much other people. You really have to bear with them. I kinda think you need to concentrate more to understand the whole thing. I think the catch of the movie was how fast you can figure out the relationship between them. It was rather interesting, really. It's kinda cute how they started off their conversation, especially knowing their history. I wonder if people should really do just try to start again and get to know each other again. That getting-to-know-again perhaps really makes the relationship better. The ending wasn't really clear. It does raise a question, when it comes to relationship, is it better to have the calm and steady one or the passionate fiery one. Calm and steady may seem boring at one point in the future just like the man implied, however the fiery one does burn, I suppose.

Moving on, just finished watching The Last King of Scotland. Forest Whitaker was deserving of the Oscar. He was scary and manic. It was a really long and dramatic movie and I had to close my eyes when they were torturing the doctor. I found myself kinda holding my breath during the last few scenes of the movies. It was a history lesson of sort, but these days I tend to think that seeing can be very one sided. There are other sides of the story. Not really a movie that I would want to watch again, simply because of the heavy and dramatic content in it. I would recommend you to watch it though, for education purposes because hopefully like me you would go to wikipedia and do some readings on it.

On other movies, was actually planning to sit down properly and watch A Walk to Remember and Monster's Ball on Saturday. Unfortunately I had other things hence not much concentration was given to both of the movies. I still love Shane West Was quite surprised to see P Diddy in Monster's Ball, I didn't know he acts. Managed to catch the ending and it was an okay ending, I supposed. I remembered the Mr was recommending this movie a long time ago, but I guess because I didn't really pay much attention, I didn't really see what made this movie a great one. I also couldn't really say that Halle Berry was amazingly good that she deserved the Oscar. Anyway, speaking of which ... aaahh...haven't talked to the Mr for the longest time. I wonder how things are growing along.

:) eKa @ 9:07:00 PM • 0 comments