Saturday, October 15, 2011
Movie of this week was Midnight in Paris. Am I a fan of Woody Allen? Well I haven't watched enough of his movies to call myself a fan. The reason why I wanted to watch this movie was because it seemed interesting and I've seen the posters all over when I was in Cannes this year. Basically I'm just drawn. Back to if I am a fan of Woody Allen. Well his movies often have some elements that I don't really like. Most of the time because the characters in his movie were often so flawed. However, as I was watching the movie progressed, I found myself liking one aspect of Woody Allen. He wrote and direct the movie himself and it seemed he just didn't care if the movie will make sense, if it will be silly, if it's meaningful, if it's gonna appeal to anyone. I feel he's just doing what his head churned out and film it the way he wants it to be. It's very admirable of him.I like Midnight in Paris. I like Owen Wilson, so it's a good start for me :P Does the movie make sense? Well scientifically obviously not. Does it have any message or does it enlighten me in any way? Not really, except it did get me thinking a bit on which period of the world history, I would like to live in. I'm still undecided on that. The movie felt fun for me and it made me feel I want to experience it as well :P Something about this movie though, I think you'll enjoy it more if you know the historical figures. Other thing that I can talk about the movie? Well as I said, I like Owen Wilson. His nose seemed to be more crooked. He's still ever so likable. I thought Carla Bruni is quite pretty in this movie, which is weird, because I don't normally find her so. The rest of the actors were really interesting too. It was a good ensemble. For the ending, I wonder if the girl is from the future. It would fit the theme. I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised that I understood the french dialogues. So all the french lessons did have their effects :)
The thing that ruined my movie experience was the fact that a mom brought her 2 young kids into the movie and for obvious reasons, the kids were really really noisy. The mother didn't even try to quiet the kids. I felt like I wanted to throw things at her. Seriously? Why would you do that? Bring your kids to a movie which definitely gonna bore them and then have them ruin the movie for everyone. Selfish much? I was also rather disappointed with the Cineleisure staff who allowed them in. However YeeMaggio did remind me that by right they could go in because the movie was just rated PG. I just wanted a nice time enjoying the movie which was rather good and yet I got utterly annoyed during it.
I have to be honest, I'm not really in a forgiving mood. Yesterday wasn't a good day. The suckiness of SMRT made me feel pissed even more. As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I thought of what it was that made me feel pissed the most. The answer is how people could be so self-centered. It's the same old story of me listening to people telling me their issue and the moment I sent out 1 line to tell them something about me, they didn't respond. I actually asked out loud, why does this always happen to me? I cannot deal with this. What kind of people are these people? Seriously? Can you just not step aside for 1 minute and think of other people than yourself? Do you think I am always interested and free to be listening to your woes? No I didn't but I tried my best to respond, especially to distress call! I was pissed as I was going to sleep and I was actually still feeling rather moody when I woke up. Was feeling so tired as well that I had to drag myself up and get ready for class. For some reason, I actually made it on time to class. Class was alright I guess. Maybe not for Mr. C because he's rather sick (poor thing). I think the only comment I can make after each of his class is, I survive it. I think I'm getting used to him but his class still makes me nervous.
This week still has its good points. Did a blackberry app this week. It works. So I've done an android app and a blackberry one. It kinda feels good to be able to do all that. There are other kinda good things but as usual, I'm not gonna write about it. Maybe I'll share some of the things that people said about me this week that kinda threw me off balance a bit (not exact quote):
"you're outspoken" --> somehow this kinda thing can still bother me even though I'm most probably that way. Probably? Denial, Eka? I even said if you have an opinion, you should say it. If not, what's your brain for?
"maybe you just like to be in control, but right now you're not" --> yeah, I'm power hungry, as usual.
"you look happier" --> this is very disturbing :P
:) eKa @ 11:10:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Movie of this week was Real Steel. To be honest, I wasn't interested in watching anything because I thought there's no good movie at the cinema right now. However YeeMaggio asked me if I want to watch anything and we settled with Real Steel. It appeared to me as a kiddy movie but I thought it would be a better choice than all the chick flicks around. Real Steel turned out to be such a delight.I'm not really sure what makes this movie pretty good. It think it was the execution. The story was not incredibly wonderful or anything. To a certain extend it's rather expected, except for the ending perhaps. The ending kinda disappointed me but I guess if it had been a happy one, it would have been too predictable. The robots were interesting and the main robot, Atom, was really a real star. You just gotta like him. I really wonder how they did the robots scenes. Did they make actual robots? That would be too expensive. Another star of the movie is the little boy. He's so cute, adorable, and loveable. His eyes really could melt you away. As for Hugh Jackman, well I'm never really a fan of him because I am not one who likes bulky guys :P However I kinda like him a bit in this movie. He's less bulky and when traces of his daddy side appeared, he is rather charming. I wasn't totally taken by him though because his character was pretty much a jerk. I couldn't believe his character was willing to sell his kid without putting much though into it. Then there's Evangeline Lilly who was looking pretty, without freckles this time around :P One thing to note, it seemed Hugh Jackman is pretty tall. Either that, or Evangeline Lilly is not as tall as she appeared to be. So anyway I like the movie, I like that feeling of going in with so little expectation and to come out of it pleasantly satisfied :)
:) eKa @ 7:51:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Movie of this week was The Tree of Life. I watched it Vivy. Haven't seen her since March. Anyways, the movie was kinda painful for me. I read the wikipedia entry before watching this movie and so I knew it received such polarizing reviews but I also knew it won Palme d'Or at this year Cannes film festival. So I thought it's a movie to watch. It turned out to be a rather painful experience for me :( At 2 hours plus, it felt really long. I checked my watch a few times and I remember thinking when it reached the 1 hour mark, that I still had another hour or so to bear :( There were actually people leaving after about 15 minutes and I think the lady next to Vivy wanted to leave as well but I think because of her friend, she preserved. I remembered reading in wikipedia that there are scenes with dinosaurs and so I was hoping it would come soon so that there's some excitement, however the T-rex was just a baby T-rex and again it was another scene which left me thinking, what??!?!Watching the movie is like watching installation art for me. More often that not, I don't get installation art and don't like it. If the movie has some kind of message that people should get, I don't get it. I don't understand it. I understand it in the way that your brain can be weird though. Your brain can move from one place to another, relate certain things, experience, and emotions to certain images. So in a way, I get the weirdness of the movie because my brain works that way too sometime. The movie started with a news of the middle son of a family died, then it went fast forward to the present day when we saw the adult older brother (Sean Penn) grappling with the anniversary of the death of his brother. Obviously it still affected him a lot. Then the movie moved back to the lives of the brothers with their loving and expressive mother and their strict father (Brad Pitt). Along the way, some imageries not unlike things you'll see in national geographics were being inserted. It's kinda hard to make sense of all this and they seriously made you wonder, what are you trying to say? I just see it as the imageries and the selected memories from the older brother reflected how the older brother felt and saw his life. I think that after all this time, he's still quite visibly broken, he needed some therapy :P
The last scene was rather weird again. I don't know what this supposed to mean. It showed the adult brother walking through a door in an unknown landscape and he met people from his past lives in all the different ages. For this scene, I saw it that when we finally die, we're going to meet ourselves and all those people from our past in all the different ages that we were and we're gonna reconcile with all of them. In this scene, everybody looked happy. Some had tears, but they were happy tears. Since I think of it that way, this scene was really really comforting for me :) I always believe what you are now is your past, present, and future combined. I always feel that you shouldn't do things that's gonna disappoint your past and future. Try to fulfill the dream of your young self and don't make your future self has regrets in life. Anyway, so that's that about the movie. I'm not really gonna recommend this movie because I don't know how you're gonna react to it :P It is rather disheartening that right now there aren't many good movies in the cinemas. Some of them are actually pretty dumb :( I actually feel rather disappointed that I don't have much things to see :( I'm waiting for The Help but it's still quite a long wait :(
On life, it's same old same old. I don't like being older but I kinda want next year to come soon. Geez, I need to slow it down and just enjoy these last few months of 2011. The previous post was pretty long that I forgot to write something that I wanted to write. There's been an addition in the household, I'm just gonna call him Max here. This year we had Chloe and Max back. While Chloe left, Max stays. I kinda like the kids but as they grew older, they do come with their teenager attitudes. On one side they are teenagers so they are allowed to be teenagers with all their way of thinking and attitude. It's just it's been a long time since I was a teenager and God knows I don't deal with them a lot. The last time I had to deal with them, I was more in a place of authority so my relationships with them, which I still call kids regardless of them being older, was perhaps rather different. Now having Max around, I do get stumped sometime seeing how he behaves. Last night at 1 am something as I was about to go to sleep, he got into trouble with his aunt. I don't know why they always have such bad timings. Even last time when Chloe was around, I got awoken at 5 am something with all the shouting :( I was quite fearful that someone would call the police :( So anyways, I had my dinner today and Max was at the table. For some reason he started the conversation in french, which was good because I could ask him what happened last night. He explained it to me and he said sorry when I complained to him that I was trying to sleep. That was kinda sweet of him :) I do think that it's all good between me and him. Between our love for The Big Bang Theory and my lack of authority over him, I guess he sees me as someone who he just could talk to as a friend. I'm not sure if he sees me as an older sister because he has one. Just like me who don't really see younger guys as my younger brother just because I already have one.
I do feel that the boy needs some discipline going on. I think he may even have a slight ADD. I don't know, it's been awhile since I'm a teenager and when I was a teenager time was really different than now. I feel he needs to find his center and be anchored a bit and not have his mind float all over the place. Am I asking too much from a teenager? I'm not sure I fully agree with how his aunt deals with him but it's not my place to say anything. I just hope that the boy is not too damaged and all will be good between them. As I said yesterday when we were all sitting at the table, it's like a battle of will power among them and the aunt was really sure she has stronger will power. The boy agrees as well but it's just been less than 3 months so we'll see. Anyway I do have my paranoia having him around. It could be nothing, just my paranoid self, but I could also be right as my senses usually are. Anyway, I can only say prayers to God so that what I fear will not happen *please God!* I seem to have written such personal stuff about someone else here so perhaps I should stop. Let's hope for a great week ahead *amen!*
:) eKa @ 7:24:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, September 25, 2011
This week hasn't been good. On Monday for some reason I lost the contact lens of my left eye. I don't know how it happened. I was just sitting on my table. Then it was gone. Alright, perhaps I did kinda rub my eye but I wasn't sure when exactly it was gone. I tried looking at it all around where I sat but I couldn't find it. I wondered if it's possible that it got lost in my eye. Googled it and the answer to that question was not really. It wouldn't go to the back of your eye but it may get stuck in your eyelid or something. So me being half blind, made my way the optician. She helped me look for it and confirmed it's not there and now I am waiting for a new one. She's giving me a temporary replacement for the time being. It's a double bad news because my contact lens were actually new. I had it made less than a month ago I think. Even the optician was feeling rather bad about it. I'm not loving the unexpected expense that I have to fork out :( but shit happens.More shits happen this week but I guess it's a matter of perception. Some people may take it with unbeatable energy and so on but this week I am not taking it well. I am trying to be emotionless but I believe some people find being emotionless is equal to being negative. I think this kinda people should just shut it. I stand by my opinion that I may not do certain things gladly and with a big smile on my face but I'll get it done with my utmost effort. How I feel has nothing to do with how I'm going to do things. Anyway if people want to care about how I feel, they shouldn't be an ass in the first place. But I guess as shit happens, dumbass are all around too.
Another thing this week that made me very very pissed was something that my dumbass cousin said in Facebook. She wrote about how one unknown cousin she's friend with in Facebook has been relaying her status updates to his / her parents and those information come back to her parents. She is like 19 or something so perhaps she should be excused for being brainless and a dumbass but I was very pissed because I thought she was refering to me that I had to ask my mother about it. My mother told me she doesn't want to intrude with other people's dealing anymore since a certain experience with a certain family has scarred our families a lot. I almost wrote some nasty message in the wall of my cousin but thankfully talking to my mom stopped me from doing so. Perhaps I am a dumbass in my own right because I often feel the need to voice out my opinion and when I am strongly against something, I like to make it known even though it may come across as nasty and rude. But I guess we need to rein this kinda thing in and hold certain things back.
Speaking of Facebook. I think this week, they changed the layout the same day Google opened Google+ for all. Personally, I've been contemplating on quitting Facebook or any social network things for some time now. Reason being are all the unnecessary and unimportant things written by my "facebook friends", like my cousin there. I do have Google+ account but I've only had 2 contacts there. I've never post anything there and so I've been just seeing what people wrote. I'm not really sure how to use it. With more contacts in the account, I feel some information overload may happen. The same thing with the new Facebook, I don't like it. So login in to Facebook has kinda become pointless to me. Another thing that annoyed me about Facebook is with how people have used it rather wrongly. Okay about this, maybe I am the idiot one who think more of a person when in fact the person don't think the same way about me or value me as much as I value them. I just feel that when you are close with someone, there are certain things that you should let the person know personally, instead of from Facebook. Imagine knowing something through a status change, with the rest of the 500 something "friends" that the person has. I think it's rude. When I told the story to some people, the first thing they asked, are you close with the person? Well I thought I was when that person had told me some personal stuff, but I guess I am the fool here. We're just facebook friends and seriously for me facebook friends do not necessarily mean we are friends. There are people in my friends list whom I have no intention to speak to ever again. "Why don't you just drop them?", some will say. Simply because I don't care much about Facebook, they can be there or not. Being friends in Facebook doesn't validate the level of your relationship with someone, at least for me. On the example above that I mentioned, it does enlighten me of certain people and people who know me know how strong headed I can be and so instead of dropping that person in Facebook, I just drop them in real life. Loyalty is very important for me in friendships. Some people have the idea that friends come and go. I really don't like that. If I have invested my time and emotion in getting to know someone, I would like the feeling to be mutual. So if someone is gonna be insensitive and self centered then I am just the fool, aren't I? Why would you put someone on the top of your list of people when they don't do the same? I know it sounds selfish and insincere but I dare anyone who thinks they can do it. I think if there's such person, it's what the definition of "loser" is. Don't be anyone's door mat. You deserve better! So if someone is only gonna charge to you when they are sad and all and never share their happiness with you and never listen to you when it's your turn to be sad, then that person is not worth your time. In the case of me, I would rather be all alone and extremely lonely than having to wait around for this kinda people.
On other news, this morning Ms. J flew to Bali and so there goes my lunch partner for the coming week. I wonder how this coming week gonna be for me. Oshie also flew home today, I think he might already have reached home. It's for good. He went through with the plan which he had concocted for some time now. I felt rather heartbroken when he told me but I guess most of our interaction are done online so in that sense there are not much changes. He's been using his last week meeting people around, having his last meal. I got the lunch time slot on Thursday. It was rather sad waving goodbye. Even though we are not amazingly close, it really feels like losing one of your comrade. He asked me if it's never in my mind about going home for good. Oh well it is. In fact the deadline is approaching really fast and as it approaches, I'm torn if I really gonna do it. I'm not extremely fulfilled here and I'm pretty sure I will not be extremely fulfilled at home as well. But as Oshie said, you'd never know. We've given Singapore 11 years and we don't feel belong here so why not give home a try and see what it's like. For my own life, I have no answer for this. I am hoping God will just throw a curve ball or something and just make things clear for me. So that's today's musing guys. I'm gonna spend the rest of weekend with Grey's Anatomy and Fringe now. Hope your week will be splendid!
:) eKa @ 7:02:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Watched Contagion today. I thought it was good. I have to say that the draw of this movie for me was the cast however I do think overall the storyline was pretty good. I wonder how close it is to actual life. I wonder if such event should ever happen, there will be an actual draw to determine who's gonna get the vaccine first. I actually thought that that kind of system was rather inefficient and perhaps unjust. Another part which I felt was rather cut short was the resolution of the story for Marion Cotillard's character upon knowing that the Chinese village was given placebos. I thought her storyline was rather interesting. I thought she had Stockholm syndrome. I know some people would think I'm heartless for saying that :P I thought the cast were great but most particularly I like Kate Winslet's character. It's really sad to see her die. It's quite an enlightening movie to see how the world react to an epidemic though the focus of this is only the USA. I don't know how the HongKongers feel with them being portrayed as the source of the virus, like as always. Looking at the map that they were showing to illustrate the spread, I thought it's kinda nice to be living in islands. You're kinda contained to yourself. If you block all flights in and out, you kinda can be fine. The map didn't show much spread in Indonesia though I do have to admit that it's perhaps rather unscientific. The cosmopolitan Jakarta will surely get infected pretty fast, with many of its population travelling to Singapore. Anyways, as I said, it's quite an interesting movie. I'm thinking what will be the next movie I should watch.On other news, if I have to rate this week, it's actually been quite a good week. Though it is not exact, but it kinda marks a year of me truly leaving a life which has taken quite a big part of my life, 6 years or so, and settling in to a new one. This week should indicate that life is better for me now. I am grateful for it especially if I look at what I left behind but I haven't stopped feeling restless. I still feel that often, so I guess I'm not in a place where I want to be. Either that or I'm just such an ungrateful child.
Other musing right now as I look at this week is also about someone who sticks to a path he's been planning since last year and finally making the jump. If I think about it, I actually get sad so I'm not gonna elaborate it here until I really have to. Another thing was, someone told me about something rather bad happening to her family. She was really really calm about it. In fact it came out rather out of the blue. It wasn't the first thing she told me when we met. Perhaps on one side, she wants to keep this personal thing private but I think it's more of the other side that she doesn't want to make many people worried. I thought she's really strong about it but I guess one needs to be strong for people who are currently vulnerable and need all the support they can get. For all these people, I hope only good things will come to them and that things will be better and better. As for me, I guess my life has been rather okay, so I should just be thankful for the fact that in the eyes of many people, my life is awesome. Allora, buonanotte tutti! Spero che la tua settimana sarà meravigliosa :)
:) eKa @ 7:39:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Sunday Recap on the 10th 911 Day
Hello peeps. How are you guys doing? I'm feeling rather lazy. Well it's Sunday, I should be relaxing and stuff but I have stuff to do and I really don't want to do it but I think I really should :( So maybe I'll do my recap as fast as I can. By the way, I feel the weather is rather cold now. I think it's a good thing I feel that way. I was down with flu this week and to not feel cold is I think a good thing. I'm not totally well yet but I think I'm okay. I'm still not looking forward for this coming week though.This week has had certain things. Hmm, I'm not really interested to talk about some of it. I think this week I realize that certain things or feeling that you thought will never pass will eventually pass. As cliché as this may sound, time does really heal. Well perhaps it doesn't really heal because certain things can't just be forgotten, however you just simply kinda don't feel the same thing or with the same intensity anymore as time goes. So even as you don't feel so well now and you don't know how you'll be able to feel okay anymore, one day you will feel okay. You just gotta get yourself to that day. On the contrary of that, this week I also realize that there may be certain things that you want to last for a long time but again you can't help that these things will just slip and slide and it will be gone no matter how hard you hold on to it. It is rather sad however I think that's just the way time works. It takes from you the good and the bad.
On other things this week. I did watch a movie, The Smurfs and my God, it was horrible. I can't even begin to describe how bad it was. It was really for kids, maybe below 10. I don't know even know if this movie can capture the attention of a 10-year old long enough for them to last the whole movie. I like Neil Patrick Harris in this movie though and Jayma Mays, my goodness isn't she just the cutest sweetest thing :P Storyline, it's so weak. They had this one part of Sofia Vergara's and Tim Gunn's characters plotting with the evil Gargamel and it became pointless because it wasn't addressed even more. It's like a waste of time. I also think that sometimes the live actors wasn't believable when they're acting with the smurfs. It's kinda sad because the world of smurf is something that I am sure many people want to escape to. Perhaps they should focus on that rather than bringing them into the real world. I do have to say that it was rather smart of them to address the smurfs as a myth with the wikipedia reference, etc. Still, I think there are better movies out there to watch.
Other thing that I managed to do this week was to check out the lantern festival in Chinese Garden. It's been absent for some years so it's kinda nice to see it back but it wasn't so good. The only one I'd been had a Sanrio theme. I'm not one who's into Hello Kitty and stuff and yet I do feel they made a more interesting and cuter festival than this year's. To see pictures, you can go here.
:) eKa @ 8:01:00 PM •
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Hello peeps. How are you guys been doing? Today I went back to the cinema after almost one month without watching anything. I guess I've just been having other stuff to do and so though there were some movies which I wanted to see, in the end I decided not to. Some was also on the ground that I should save some money and perhaps I could watch it back home through my bro's dvds. Anyway, finally today I went to watch something. It's Crazy, Stupid, Love. which I watched with la Gioia and YeeMaggio. The reason why this movie attracted me was Ryan Gosling. Then I read the review for the movie and it was good so I thought this movie has much credibility. It was really so.First off, I need to start with how I really really like Ryan Gosling :D When others first noticed him from The Notebook, it was Half Nelson for me. A movie which I really like. His other movie that I watched was Lars and The Real Girl. Those movies were obviously heavier than Crazy, Stupid, Love. and so it's really nice to see him play a different role where he can just be fun and hunky :P Story wise, it was pretty okay up to the point when a twist happened. I really didn't see that coming and I think the whole cinema was gasping and saying "oh my God!". That moment made the movie really great :) I think all the cast were really good that I really couldn't choose anyone who eclipsed the rest. I do have to say that I think Steve Carell and Ryan Gosling are great but perhaps I am bias :) Steve Carell's character's son was also an interesting one, he's so cute. I also have to comment that it's rather amazing that they managed to make Josh Groban so ordinary and not so handsome in this movie :) I really really recommend you to watch it. Ryan Gosling is really handsome :)
Starting this post, I felt that I should write more in details about the movie. However I'm pretty hungry right now and I'm talking to someone in msn. So my thoughts are being splitted into 2 screens. It's weird how you can feel sad about certain things that have very little connection to you. I wanted to elaborate more, I even have typed it out but I erased them all simply because I thought it's just too much personal information. So what can I talk about which is not too personal? Not much really. I mean there's certain opinion I have on certain people which I cannot write here. There's also personal stuff which people told me which I also cannot disclose. So I should stop here? Yeah my own life is pretty same old same old. Like today, class started again. My alarm didn't ring and so I woke up late and got out late and yet it didn't stop me from having a proper breakfast which caused me to be later than my usual late when I arrived in class. I didn't have much time to read the texts Mr.C asked us to read and when I asked if I could read one more time, he told me to arrive on time :P Today a realization did come to my head that I should really be putting more effort in his class. For some reason, there were many times I actually forgot that we had homeworks and so I didn't do them. I really can't explain why. He normally found it funny when I get a bit flustered in class upon finding that we did have homework. Anyways, I think I should really try harder. There's only so much a teacher can teach you, the other part comes from you yourself. So I really need to actually try. I know as much as I was gung ho about it when I left class, that spirit may just die down as I enter class next week. However since I don't have much time left, I should really make all the time I have now really matters. Hmmm, that's it for now peeps. Buonanotte!
:) eKa @ 11:05:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Hello peeps. Today is the last day of my french class for this term. We're having a break next week *yay* Today in class we had quite a political discussion. Life / class with Mr. C is laden with heavy topics but I think this is the first time that I feel compelled and really really interested to talk about the discussion, simply because it got me thinking about a lot of things. I have to say it's been several hours since class ended and as usual thoughts come in and out of my brain randomly that I have formed opinions and came to certain realization which didn't occur to me in class.It all started during the break when the Chinese boy (from PRC) next to me finally found out where I'm from and he made a remark something along the line of, oh I like Indonesian chinese but not the rest of Indonesian. Mr. C was walking in when he was making that comment and he heard that and Mr. C made a comment along the line, hey I don't want to hear that kinda comment in my class, it's awful. I have to say that Mr. C could come across as very stern in making comments such as this and it kinda could make you feel a bit shocked, like being reprimanded by your teacher when you were young. Yes, he IS our teacher but I guess in the age that we are now, to be receiving comments in such tone do make us a bit uneasy. I told him, it's fine, it's okay, no? In which he said, how is it okay to say that? By the way, I have to tell you that this conversation happened in english. His argument is, as french, the way things are done in his country is to eliminate comments such as I like certain race / culture / religion, they are better, the others are not. To be honest I didn't get what the fuss is all about at that time. Now that I think about it, it's perhaps because I'm Indonesian chinese so I didn't feel offended. I pointed to the Singaporean classmates that I had a discussion with a friend in which we felt Singaporean Malays are nicer than Singaporean Chinese. Okay I have to admit that this discussion was with an Indonesian friend. However I did say truthfully what we thought when days later it so happened that a Singaporean Chinese guy I know asked me how I find Singaporean. In answering his question, I did tell him it's such a thorny question but I told him the sentiment that me and my friend shared. For the record, I think that Singaporean Malays are generally nicer on first meeting simply because we are Indonesians who share certain similarity in language which cause them to tend to be friendlier to us than the Singaporean Chinese, but this is a generalization. There are really really nice Singaporean Chinese aunties and uncles out there. Anyway, in class my point is if a Singaporean Chinese found out that they are at the bottom of the scale on which race is the nicest in Singapore, shouldn't they ask why. What make you think this way and try to use this to reflect on how they project themselves to foreigners. That was my point in class.
After many hours later, I do realize that such comment can be hurtful. If the guy has said, I hate Indonesian Chinese because so and so. I don't know if I can be all calm about it. Come to think of it, if I had been a better Indonesian, I should have argued to try to clear his point of view. I should have argued on the basis that I should see myself as an Indonesian, not Indonesian Chinese. Anyway, Mr. C said such comments is banned in France and there is a law about it. Remember John Galliano's case? This got me thinking what if such comments have been made in Indonesia? I'm pretty sure we don't have such law. I'm pretty sure if a non Indonesian Chinese makes a hateful comment to an Indonesian Chinese, the Indonesian Chinese will not fight back and will just walk away from the situation without making much comments. Perhaps there are those who will stand up and fight such comments but Indonesian Chinese are generally trained by their parents to give in in a conflict with non Indonesian Chinese, simply because we're out numbered and we are not going to win this conflict even though we are on the right side. However if such hate comments is made between the Indonesian Batak or Javanese for example, I am sure it could lead to the machete being drawn or rocks being thrown. Each will stand their ground. This leads to a question, the Indonesian Chinese don't have a ground in Indonesia? Yes there have been a lot of talk about respect and acknowledging Indonesian Chinese as just being Indonesian like the rest and being part of Indonesia, especially during Chinese New Year. However I think for many Indonesian it's just a political talk. If a riot like 1998 targeting Indonesian Chinese should happen again, will the rest of the Indonesian stand to protect the Indonesian Chinese? I know for sure that my parents, aunts, uncles have scepticism about this. It is perhaps our fault that we choose to be a victim. I agree and disagree to that partly. I remember hating so much when my mother didn't do anything when a boy at the end of the street was throwing rocks at me when I walked by simply because I was chinese when I was really really young. The hatred and injustice feeling were really strong but I understand now that even if we had lodged a complain, we would not have won that argument. So is there still discrimination for Indonesian Chinese in Indonesia? Since I don't live there, I don't know. I have a feeling there's still might be a bit. Indonesian Chinese get bullied more perhaps in their business. I'm not sure though. Either we have become acceptant with how things are and have adapted to just rise above it or there's isn't any major discrimination currently happening on us, that right now I don't think there's a major change that Indonesian Chinese demand to see in Indonesia.
Mr.C said one should stop talking about these differences and see each other to be just the same. However I think in Indonesia, we are just simply proud of our cultural identity, not necessarily for our religions but more for our ethnic groups and for this, I don't see why we shouldn't accentuate this about us. Yes, emphasizing on the differences can lead to problems because you may get carried away thinking you are better than the others. However I like to think that we're unique because we are different and we shouldn't hide that we are a certain way because of our cultural identity. Of course I'm coming from the point of view that people should be respectful of these differences and find it as something interesting rather than something that separate us. He said he was surprised that when he arrived here, he had to fill in the race column in a form. Only then did he realize he's caucasian. He didn't see the importance for this. Even more surprising for him was a religion part in a form. I commented, c'est normal, non? He was flabbergasted and argued, how is this normal? What is normal? Again in France, these type of information is irrelevant to who you are and as such, such questions should not be asked, and I think it's in the law that you shouldn't demand for this information. While I agree that I don't like the race column because based on the Indonesian experience, it's racial profiling which specifically target the Chinese, it's something that I have come to term with. Why do I say it specifically target the Indonesian Chinese? Because with the so many ethnic groups in Indonesia, the options will take a whole entire page. While the Chinese boy today said there are 50 something ethnic groups in China, there is apparently around 300 ethnic groups in Indonesia. So anyway, I think that column in an Indonesian method to see if you are Indonesian Indonesian or Indonesian Chinese. Now as for the religion, since the first foundation of Indonesia, the belief in God, this is something that is ingrained in us. We believe in God full stop. This lead to the second part of the discussion.
This part is in French so I may get understood wrongly since I couldn't really say what I wanted to say clearly and I may also not get the question correctly. A Russian girl asked a question (which I think) how about atheist in Indonesia? I told her, do not say you're an atheist in Indonesia. Okay, perhaps this is my perception and perhaps I do not know Indonesia well since I only spend less than 1 month a year there however I really do think that Indonesian do not accept this belief (can you use the word "belief" for an atheist?) or this notion of there is no God. Again, this is a generalization because I did some googling before writing this and it seemed the number of atheist in Indonesia is increasing but even them said that it's not easy to come out in the open and say I don't believe in God and as much as they want to push for this freedom, they also understand that at this point, it just doesn't seem possible. The first time I heard anyone declaring they're a free thinker and don't believe in God was in Singapore and it shocked me greatly. Over time I came to accept it's something common in Singapore but it didn't stop me from feeling a certain sad emotion hearing that, for example when this Russian girl declaring proudly that she's an atheist. I guess perhaps in Indonesia, out of courtesy, just don't declare you're an atheist to an Indonesian because perhaps it will make the Indonesians uncomfortable and awkward. I like to think Indonesians are nice enough to be non-judgemental and start lecturing you however I cannot guarantee this. The Indonesian law guarantee the freedom of practice and expression based on religions or beliefs. This law combined with our country's foundation does not factor in atheism and I told them we are not evolved enough to accept there are atheist out there.
The Chinese boy whispered to me, so what if you don't have a religion. I said you choose one which is closer to you. Many Indonesian Chinese choose to state that they are Buddhist. I pointed that in my case this is what's written in my identity card even though I'm not a "true" buddhist. Mr.C asked, because you don't practice it? No, not because of that, but because I'm not a buddhist the way my brother, cousins, and Richard Gere are. There were only 5 options during my time, so that's the closest we had. The thing is you grow up in a family that since your grandparents time has had religion, so even if you don't practice and follow it, you just choose that option in your identity card. The Russian felt this is wrong, there's no freedom when you cannot acknowledge the atheists. It's discrimination, it's violation of human rights. While perhaps she is right to a certain extend, I wouldn't stand on her side. If there's a certain group who tries to push for atheism to be acknowledged in Indonesia, I will be against that. Does that make me an extremist? Having a religion is not something which is important to me. God knows, I'm mixing my religious upbringing and my religious education in my life. However I think the belief in God is important. I do agree alhough the first thing in our country's foundation is the belief in God and while all Indonesian can say what their religion is as stated in their identity card, we are not the holiest country in the world and our government is for sure far from being clean. However for me, giving the option that you don't believe in God, when God is often time our moral compass and the guide in our life, will be more dangerous. Where is that moral compass then? Christians often use WWJD in their life and I admit I mock this many times, but I find that this is useful, that this is important. I agree with the separation of state and religion. Just like many Indonesians out there, we don't want to see Indonesian being ruled by one certain religion (even though perhaps it already is). However I want a country in which the people believe in God. I agree that the government cannot push you to have a religion or to believe in God but I do not want a government that allows you openly be an atheist. I know it's contradictory, I know it's a matter of freedom, choices, and human rights however that is just the way I feel and so I like the fact that we are "forced" to have a religion. I feel at the very least, even though right now you don't believe in God, there perhaps will come a day which will make you wonder if He exists and if you want to learn more, you can go to that religion stated in your identity card. Also if atheism is not flourishing, perhaps the influence of the so many religions in Indonesia can influence you to consider your view in God.
It's been a long post, I don't know if I am making logical correlations. As usual I don't know if I am making any sense. I know I am perhaps short-sighted in my view. Maybe I'll change my opinion as I grow up. I don't know if I have written all my thoughts. There were many things said in class which will make this post super long if I write them all. I don't know if I've made rational justification, perhaps not. It's hard to be writing your thoughts without much time to filter them and mull about them. By the way, some articles that you can read (if you're interested) about atheism in Indonesia, I promise you it's in english, you can go here, here, and here.
On other life news. Well nothing interesting. I had a long day yesterday. I was very tired and for some reason there are many ants in my room :( and then I was awoken at 5 am something when Jenny was screaming at the twin (okay, they're not twin). I think it was Maxime that got into trouble now and Chloe tried to argue on his behalf. I don't really know what the problem was, I did hear one line clearly. She was so loud, I was wondering when the neighbours gonna come and complain. I really wondered what the hell happened that such altercation happened at 5 am. I wanted to call mom just because I knew they would have been awoken at 4 am Jakarta time, but I decided not to. Went to class today feeling über sleepy. Met LM for dimsum lunch after it. I'm glad I got to meet her before she pops her baby which from the look of it, it seems it's gonna be soon but she said due date is in the middle of September. I don't want to talk about other part of my life so ciao for now. Hope you have a good week ahead!
:) eKa @ 9:05:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, August 15, 2011
I only know this is sadnessrestlesness
feeling I would rather be elsewhere
the mind moves a million miles per seconds
fleeting to memories I've forgotten
now it's me in that cold
staring at the pond with the ducks
alone
wondering if it's where I should have been
was alone
and yet I'd rather be there
than here
in that cold
I was told to rein this in
to see the sunray through the gray clouds
I've tried to silence this
but it's seeping out
and I just don't want to contain it anymore
I don't know the because
of the question why
or maybe I do
I'm just sad
and I would rather be elsewhere
:) eKa @ 12:58:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, August 08, 2011
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Went to watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes yesterday with YeeMaggio. Why did I choose this? Because James Franco is in it. Seriously, that guy is like perfect, no? There are many handsome actors out there. There are many talented actors. While some are handsome and talented at the same time, to be like James Franco who's really handsome, talented, and actually really intelligent (the guy is pursuing a phd and also teaches in a university) is rare. In fact I cannot think of any other actor who's like him. He's really handsome that I relished everytime he appeared on the screen :P I guess for that same reason, I don't like Freida Pinto's character much and to be honest her character didn't really make much a difference in the movie. I was actually pretty annoyed when they had to kiss before James Franco's character dashed off to talk to Caesar, the chimp. It's not because of the fact they kissed (which wasn't a really good kiss by the way) but more because it was so typical Hollywood to insert something like this just before the climax. Despite of this cheesy part and some other parts which perhaps are totally predictable, the movie was actually pretty good. I think Caesar the chimp was really really cute when it was a baby and when it was so young. It didn't look cute anymore when it was older. I do have to praise Andy Serkis who did the motion capture for Caesar. It was really really good. I'm amazed with what special effect can achieve. The apes all looked totally real. I also have to comment about Tom Felton a bit. He's also one of the reason I wanted to watch this movie. First comment is, he looked pretty handsome :) tall and with his original hair colour. Second comment is, it's a bit of a shame that the role that we see him next fresh from Harry Potter is pretty much the same like his Harry Potter's role :( It's rather disappointing. He should have chosen other thing, so that we can see more range from him. But I supposed to reject the opportunity to work on such big movie like this would be so stupid.I totally recommend this movie. It has a pretty good story and many touching moments brought to you by Caesar the chimp and John Lithgow who played James Franco's dad. The movie also got me thinking about a few things. The first scene of the movie was so moving for me. It showed how poachers hunt these chimps and get them shipped into medical labs in the US. It was really really sad and I don't wish this fate on any animal. I also don't wish a life of being a test subject for any of these animals :'( However I do realize the importance of animal testing. As illustrated in this movie, James Franco's character is trying to find a medicine for alzheimer. It kinda torn me a bit :( Sometime I try to justify things like these using the argument that if there's reincarnation then it is in the karmic duty of the animals to go through this. Yeah, I know it's such a weak argument but I really have nothing more to say. Alright, I'm gonna stop now and relax a bit. It's so hot now in Singapore, I'm really having a bit of a hard time with it :( I wish for rain tomorrow though I know Singapore is hoping for a sunshiny day. Oh well. For all the Singaporeans out there, enjoy your break tomorrow! God bless!
:) eKa @ 9:05:00 PM • 0 comments
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