Sunday Recap - 25/11/11

This week hasn't been good. On Monday for some reason I lost the contact lens of my left eye. I don't know how it happened. I was just sitting on my table. Then it was gone. Alright, perhaps I did kinda rub my eye but I wasn't sure when exactly it was gone. I tried looking at it all around where I sat but I couldn't find it. I wondered if it's possible that it got lost in my eye. Googled it and the answer to that question was not really. It wouldn't go to the back of your eye but it may get stuck in your eyelid or something. So me being half blind, made my way the optician. She helped me look for it and confirmed it's not there and now I am waiting for a new one. She's giving me a temporary replacement for the time being. It's a double bad news because my contact lens were actually new. I had it made less than a month ago I think. Even the optician was feeling rather bad about it. I'm not loving the unexpected expense that I have to fork out :( but shit happens.

More shits happen this week but I guess it's a matter of perception. Some people may take it with unbeatable energy and so on but this week I am not taking it well. I am trying to be emotionless but I believe some people find being emotionless is equal to being negative. I think this kinda people should just shut it. I stand by my opinion that I may not do certain things gladly and with a big smile on my face but I'll get it done with my utmost effort. How I feel has nothing to do with how I'm going to do things. Anyway if people want to care about how I feel, they shouldn't be an ass in the first place. But I guess as shit happens, dumbass are all around too.

Another thing this week that made me very very pissed was something that my dumbass cousin said in Facebook. She wrote about how one unknown cousin she's friend with in Facebook has been relaying her status updates to his / her parents and those information come back to her parents. She is like 19 or something so perhaps she should be excused for being brainless and a dumbass but I was very pissed because I thought she was refering to me that I had to ask my mother about it. My mother told me she doesn't want to intrude with other people's dealing anymore since a certain experience with a certain family has scarred our families a lot. I almost wrote some nasty message in the wall of my cousin but thankfully talking to my mom stopped me from doing so. Perhaps I am a dumbass in my own right because I often feel the need to voice out my opinion and when I am strongly against something, I like to make it known even though it may come across as nasty and rude. But I guess we need to rein this kinda thing in and hold certain things back.

Speaking of Facebook. I think this week, they changed the layout the same day Google opened Google+ for all. Personally, I've been contemplating on quitting Facebook or any social network things for some time now. Reason being are all the unnecessary and unimportant things written by my "facebook friends", like my cousin there. I do have Google+ account but I've only had 2 contacts there. I've never post anything there and so I've been just seeing what people wrote. I'm not really sure how to use it. With more contacts in the account, I feel some information overload may happen. The same thing with the new Facebook, I don't like it. So login in to Facebook has kinda become pointless to me. Another thing that annoyed me about Facebook is with how people have used it rather wrongly. Okay about this, maybe I am the idiot one who think more of a person when in fact the person don't think the same way about me or value me as much as I value them. I just feel that when you are close with someone, there are certain things that you should let the person know personally, instead of from Facebook. Imagine knowing something through a status change, with the rest of the 500 something "friends" that the person has. I think it's rude. When I told the story to some people, the first thing they asked, are you close with the person? Well I thought I was when that person had told me some personal stuff, but I guess I am the fool here. We're just facebook friends and seriously for me facebook friends do not necessarily mean we are friends. There are people in my friends list whom I have no intention to speak to ever again. "Why don't you just drop them?", some will say. Simply because I don't care much about Facebook, they can be there or not. Being friends in Facebook doesn't validate the level of your relationship with someone, at least for me. On the example above that I mentioned, it does enlighten me of certain people and people who know me know how strong headed I can be and so instead of dropping that person in Facebook, I just drop them in real life. Loyalty is very important for me in friendships. Some people have the idea that friends come and go. I really don't like that. If I have invested my time and emotion in getting to know someone, I would like the feeling to be mutual. So if someone is gonna be insensitive and self centered then I am just the fool, aren't I? Why would you put someone on the top of your list of people when they don't do the same? I know it sounds selfish and insincere but I dare anyone who thinks they can do it. I think if there's such person, it's what the definition of "loser" is. Don't be anyone's door mat. You deserve better! So if someone is only gonna charge to you when they are sad and all and never share their happiness with you and never listen to you when it's your turn to be sad, then that person is not worth your time. In the case of me, I would rather be all alone and extremely lonely than having to wait around for this kinda people.

On other news, this morning Ms. J flew to Bali and so there goes my lunch partner for the coming week. I wonder how this coming week gonna be for me. Oshie also flew home today, I think he might already have reached home. It's for good. He went through with the plan which he had concocted for some time now. I felt rather heartbroken when he told me but I guess most of our interaction are done online so in that sense there are not much changes. He's been using his last week meeting people around, having his last meal. I got the lunch time slot on Thursday. It was rather sad waving goodbye. Even though we are not amazingly close, it really feels like losing one of your comrade. He asked me if it's never in my mind about going home for good. Oh well it is. In fact the deadline is approaching really fast and as it approaches, I'm torn if I really gonna do it. I'm not extremely fulfilled here and I'm pretty sure I will not be extremely fulfilled at home as well. But as Oshie said, you'd never know. We've given Singapore 11 years and we don't feel belong here so why not give home a try and see what it's like. For my own life, I have no answer for this. I am hoping God will just throw a curve ball or something and just make things clear for me. So that's today's musing guys. I'm gonna spend the rest of weekend with Grey's Anatomy and Fringe now. Hope your week will be splendid!

:) eKa @ 7:02:00 PM •

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