Saturday, April 16, 2005

World Peace

Okay...think of a movie, what movie will pop to your head when you hear the phrase "World Peace"? I went to watch Miss Congeniality 2 with Vivy today. Wasn't planned. Wasn't that interested actually to watch that movie, but I thought I just needed to release certain tension and basically being plain crazy and follow whatever things that came in mind. So we had quite an expensive lunch but I felt happy about it and then we went to watch the movie. I actually really enjoyed the movie. It was funny, so much better than Hitch. I like Sandra Bullock. Her character was so not perfect but she's just an interesting girl. Anyway, I actually don't really know what to write. So sleepy and kinda tired. I finally got Les Choristes from Vivy. I'm so glad that I managed to get this movie, but I don't know when I will watch it. Don't really have the time. I also have 4 episodes of Friends season 10 that I haven't watched. Hhmm...feeling guilty to the person who gave it to me.

Champions league went sad. I think I'm jinx-ing the teams that I support. Actually I started wondering about this last year. The good part is, Arsenal is number 2 in English Premiere League. Below Chelsea, yeah that's sad but I'm just so happy that they are number 2, above other teams!

I guess it was 2 weeks ago Vivy told me that living happily ever after is on a day to day basis. I have heard of this before and it is so true. Not happy, but (was) at peace, and even that doesn't come every day, doesn't even stay sometime for some hours *sigH*

Current heart situation: stirred and shaken.

:) eKa @ 11:52:00 PM • 0 comments

Monday, April 11, 2005

I'm At Peace

Surprise with the title? Yeah, this one is actually going to be quite positive. I need to thank God. I am at peace. It feels really good. I don't know why I could have this peace inside of me this morning. A guy who was so obsessed with hand phones told me this morning with his silly smile that it is good to have peace within you. I know. I know. I don't know how, I can't think of anything but God. I really need to thank Him. Maybe it is also the power of prayers. I know my parent, especially my mom may be praying so hard for my well-being. Who knows maybe other people pray for me too. So thank you, Thank You God. It feels so good. Hhmm...I can't tell much about what happened today, I think I also need to remove an entry in my shoutbox 'cause as you can see as much as this blog can be quite personal, I still hide some of the facts of my life because I am still an introvert by nature. I am off the Linkin Park therapy. I can hear other thing now, listened to John Mayer this afternoon. I think he's the real voice of 20 something people. Anyway this one was made by me. I kinda forget when I made it, if it was before or after a devastating incident, however the wait had passed.

tired once again
sleepy once again

empty
I was hoping for it
but now it comes with a suspense.

Looking at the clock
as if the seconds or minutes will deliver me out of this anxious wait
It will eventually
but not as soon as I want it to

but so is everything else, right

I'm not good at making poems. I wish I can hide the meaning in much better words or sentences but I just can't. Things just come pretty straight forward everytime I want to write things. Anyway, I feel I need to put real poem here to compensate my bad poem. Really into Pablo Neruda now, I don't know why, I'm pretty drawn to his works everytime I go to Kinokuniya or Borders. However, since we are in the topic of Edgar Allan Poe, I think I should put one of his works (though having difficulty in grasping the meaning but this one felt somewhat a bit fit), in respect to the people who I will somewhat miss

To One Departed

Seraph! thy memory is to me
Like some enchanted far-off isle
In some tumultuous sea
Some ocean vexed as it may be
With storms; but where, meanwhile,
Serenest skies continually
Just o'er that one bright island smile.

For 'mid the earnest cares and woes
That crowd around my earthly path,
(Sad path, alas, where grows not even one lonely rose!)
My soul at least a solace hath
In dreams of thee; and therein knows
An Eden of bland repose.

:) eKa @ 9:05:00 PM • 0 comments

Sunday, April 10, 2005

oF Codes and Symbols...and Signs (?)

I have finished reading The Da Vinci Code. Some time ago, a friend's nickname was somewhat filled with criticism about this book. He didn't write the title of the book. Of course me, being smart...okay sharp was able to guess that he was referring to The Da Vinci Code. When I first started reading it, I found the book to be very interesting, you just couldn't stop because each chapter left you hanging when you finished it, you just wanted to move on to know what happened. The book actually kinda gave me the creep. Why? People would ask. Well, imagining a murdered man, a murdered nun, a tall albino with red eyes, and a dark environment just freaked me out. The story was kinda interesting because most of it took place in a matter of hours. Of course, the controversial part of Jesus got married with Mary Magdalene was interesting too. I have to admit something was kinda shifting inside my head when I got to that revelation but in the end I still believe in Christ. I guess the book failed to change me, not that the book was meant to do that. I guess, for me, the book only suggested the possibility of Jesus getting married with Mary. It never suggested that Jesus is not the son of God, born of the Virgin Mary, was raised from the death on the 3^rd day, and was raised to Heaven. I know all the things stated as facts in the book should make us argue all the things above, but for me, it is precisely that Jesus was a man, a common man, that makes somewhat the foundation of my faith in Christianity (if such ever exist) The thing is, Jesus was a man, a normal man, who I believe had the same fear as other. Yet, he was willing to die on the cross, knowing all the suffering that He had to face. That's huge. I believe in God. I need to 'cause I need Him. I can't go through my days knowing that He's not around to help me through. Back to the book. I like to say that Harry Potter is much better because my guesses for what happen next in Harry Potter is always wrong. But for Da Vinci code, man! I figured out the number to use to open the vault in the Swiss Bank. I could read the clue in the first cryptex and I'm not even a Harvard symbologist and also I managed to identify the bad guys. The little twist in the end kinda brought back the excitement of the book, but I guess in the end I just find the book not as much amusing and interesting as Harry Potter I guess, I just like Harry Potter too damn much

OsH thought I had a boyfriend because of my msn nickname No, I don't and not any time soon either (I don't think I'll be that lucky) He was so sweet when he said that he didn't want to see me be jomblo. Nice guy, I really like OsH. Hmmm...just finished watching Chocolat. I couldn't help laughing reading the cast at the beginning of the movie. It might be nothing, pure coincidence, but I like to think that God just wants to laugh with me Yeah, like God has so much free time to joke around with me. But I guess, God is the almighty, know it all, can do all, and He just wants to have some fun with me. Gosh! I love Johnny Depp Okay, need to sleep. Song of this weekend: Lazyboy - Facts of Life. Found it courtesy of Loucee

:) eKa @ 12:43:00 AM • 0 comments

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

SpangLish

I went to watch Spanglish yesterday despite of being tired and despite knowing that I would be more tired when I went home. But I needed the entertainment. I know that the movie will be more of a drama rather than a comedy despite of Adam Sandler being there. It turns out the story was quite interesting. The ending was somewhat open but I guess that's just what happens in situation like that. Was it funny? Hmm...There was an amusing part when Flor (the Spanish woman) wanted to scold Adam Sandler and she had to use her daughter as the translator. Adam Sandler's wife was kinda a freak but when I saw her crying so much towards the end of the movie, I kinda could relate to her and had sympathy on her. Only huge things can make you cry like crazy and at times like that, you need comfort more than anything else. Adam Sandler is actually not bad in this movie, so believable as a good dad and person. I think that's how he is in real life actually. The story is I guess about people, about wanting to do the best for people we love, and the basic of all, about wanting to be happy, don't we all by the way?

How are you doing Eka? I am doing alright, I guess. HaH! No I'm not actually but we must pretend, right? Maybe by pretending to be alright, we will eventually be alright. Trying to hang in there. Some minutes ago, a realization came to me, of being okay about not seeing my crush again, HaHa It's okay. I think he has done his purpose of making me smile. I will be alright. Even if I'm not, a day will change to another and guess what, I think I would still be around the next day

:) eKa @ 11:06:00 AM • 0 comments

Sunday, April 03, 2005

I'm Broken

I guess from the title, it is obvious that I'm going to write something depressing again. Not my fault...I mean things just happen. Where do I start? From the beginning. Hmm...Can I just first say that I finally bought a birthday present for myself. I bought the Linkin Park's book From the Inside last Saturday It was kinda expensive, well S$ 43+ for a book on a band which...well...okay, I did hesitate if I should get the book. But I was kinda so sad last last Saturday (having totally lost my long-awaited long weekend doing stupid things for other people who didn't seem to appreciate it much) that I just felt I needed to reward and comfort myself. Hence, why I bought the book. It's okay, I'm pretty satisfied about it.

My Chinese birthday was actually last Monday (March 28, 2005). In following the tradition that my dad so eager to keep, I got myself a boiled egg and ate it. The aunties actually gave it for me for free. They even offered to peel it off for me. I felt so blessed that people can be so kind to me. However, life as people keep on telling me this week is somewhat hard and on times unfair. On that day, my chinese birthday, which was actually an auspicious day, unfortunate event actually happened to me. Someone said something to me that caused me to kinda fall apart. My last breakdown is less than a year ago. See...It's so sad that I couldn't keep a clean sheet for even a year. Yeah, I do sound like an addict or something like that. To fight addiction, addict needs to get professional help or at least a sponsor like the ones they have in AA meeting or something like that. 2 things that I didn't have. I didn't get any professional help to assess my mental state and help me to see things better and I also don't have anyone who is close enough to really watch over me. Yes, I do know that there are people who genuinely try their best to make me feel better, they are even still trying up until now. However that Monday, when it happened, there was noone. So I cried so madly. I cried to God, shouted for help. I just lost it. It was bad, seriously and I really couldn't take this kinda thing anymore. The tears couldn't seem to stop. I mean after half an hour + you would think that okay, it's done, but the tears kept on coming back. I called home because I needed to. I needed to talk to my mom. Dad was the one who answered the phone. Amazingly he didn't scold me when I told him the story. My dad! Who likes to demand quite a lot from me and show little appreciation. The fact that he didn't say it's my fault and told me not be discouraged instead really comforted me. I cried again of course on the phone. Then there's mom, who told me to be strong and be acceptance towards people who are like that. They made me feel better because then I felt that I'm not totally bad, like I did something right, and I'm not useless. Yeah, you may say that they are bias because they are my folks, but hey, I guess God was just trying to answer to my shouting in the toilet. Anyway, that night ended with quite a swollen eyes but for the first time I slept pretty well. I guess I'm just so tired that day. I still got awoken once in the night and still got awoken earlier than I supposed to, but I just felt somewhat fulfilled when I woke up. The next following days leading to today went quite bearable. Not that they went perfectly fine, but I managed to get through. Someone actually said that I always look happy. Yeah right! She didn't know that I'm such a disturbed girl. The body seemed to handle it differently though. I couldn't really eat much, I didn't even feel hungry sometime. I was having so much difficulty in finishing my breakfast every morning, felt like vomiting each time I swallowed. I actually feel like I'm getting skinnier

Anyway, since I'm pretty...Well let's just say I'm more towards deep sadness and fear rather than anger, I, of course, resolute to Linkin Park Well! I need to be so much more conscious in this difficult time. People do piss me off. I mean I feel like I am being stabbed in the back. I don't think that people can be like that, but I guess they do. Sometime no matter how hard you try, they just don't think you try hard enough, they don't appreciate it, and it really brings me down. I'm questioning if I was useless, if I am the problem. People try to convince me that I'm not and yet I still waver. Rista was saying that she knew me as a strong girl. I don't know if I ever was, maybe I was and now I am getting weaker. You think that by going through things alone and having to take care of myself, I would grow stronger. The truth is I feel that I'm getting weaker. Maybe when that walls of protection from family and closest friends are gone, you kinda get so vulnerable and when you got attacked you just got weaker...and weaker. I'm sorry people. I don't mean to be suicidal, but I am just really tired. Hmm...just wanna say that I'm not really that mad about the people involved because the fear that I have about this situation is bigger than all the dumb things people did. I hope no more dramatic things are going to happen. Man, what am I? Living in soap opera? Anyway...Back to the Linkin Park topic. So yeah, been hearing their songs every morning to prep me to face the day ahead. There are 2 songs that suddenly really jumped to my mind: A Place For My Head and Hit The Floor. I'm just going to put Hit The Floor here. I know the upper hand will never be mine and I should never hope for revenge, so I'm just going to make do with this song to kinda cheer me up

There are just too many times that people have tried to look inside of me wondering what I think of you and I protect you out of courtesy. Too many times that I've held on when I needed to push away. Afraid to say what was on my mind. Afraid to say what I need to say. Too many things that you've said about me when I'm not around. You think having the upper hand means you've got to keep putting me down. But I've had too many stand-offs with you. It's about as much as I can stand. Just wait until the upper hand is mine.

So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies. So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside. So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long. All I know is that all I want is to feel like I'm not stepped on. There are so many things you say that make me feel like you've crossed the line. What goes up will surely fall and I'm counting down the time 'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you. It's about as much as I can stand. So I'm waiting until the upper hand is mine

One minute you're on top. The next you're not. Watch it drop. Making your heart stop. Just before you hit the floor.
One minute you're on top. The next you're not. Missed your shot. Making your heart stop. You think you won.

And then it's all gone

I know I'll never trust a single thing you say. You knew your lies would divide us but you lied anyway. And all the lies have got you floating up above us all. But what goes up has got to fall!

Mean? Well I don't f**king care. Okay the positive thing out of this is that I realize actually I have people that genuinely care for me. It's kinda overwhelming because I don't really get why they would care so much. Thank you God. I'm seriously so thankful for all the people who tried to cheer me up and all. Sorry for still being so depressed. The worries and fear is still there. Hmm...let's talk something nicer My crush HaHa People are actually so interested with this. Yeah, me publicizing it, is asking for questions A guy said that he must be some guy for being able to make me change my nickname just like that. Hhmm...I don't know but I guess he's quite an opinionated person, with brain. Intriguing for me, but again this kinda people maybe too much to handle. Anyway, I think as usual it will go nowhere. I think he has someone It's okay...A girl doesn't live on guys alone

:) eKa @ 12:47:00 AM • 0 comments

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Change of Nickname

WooHoo I finally change my MSN nickname. No more "I'm trying to keep you insight" kinda thing. Kept that nickname for 1 year ++ but now I'm not keeping it insight (anymore...I guess). Anyway people who know the story will definitely be interested in knowing what happened, especially with the short statement that I put in my nick now I think they will also be drawn to ask "Really?" Anyway, I'm just all smiling now, which is good, 'cause I know this spur of happiness is not gonna last long. For now, at least, Thank You God

Happy Easter, everyone

:) eKa @ 12:56:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, March 19, 2005

...that Support System

My first birthday present did come from Dagi. She gave me a lot of things. The most interesting things are the 2 mugs which are filled with haribo jelly and Mozart chocolate balls. I just love the chocolate balls I also finally received my birthday present from the girls. It actually arrived last Tuesday but finally met me this afternoon. They gave me a cat pillow, which I actually want to put inside a plastic and keep it away in my cupboard because it's white on one side (it will get dirty) and also because my bed is already too full (I'm a person who needs a LOT of space). However, the cat has this silly smile on his face that kinda...well kinda make you have to smile too, so I think I'm gonna keep in for a while. God knows I really need to smile. The girls were telling me to hug the cat if I need comfort and I need that a whole lot for the coming days.

Was being told not to be so depressed and negative but today I received a news, which for me felt like a blow, a stab in the back. Other people actually see it as a way out for me. Maybe it is, I mean everything happens for a reason, right? God has a plan for me. I just need to believe that all of this is part of the clues to finding out my purpose here, part of the big puzzle of my life which is gonna be great and beautiful. Man! Honestly, I can't say it in full confidence. I can give you all the beautiful words but how much of it I believe, well...words are just words. Anyway, me, the one who is always looking for meanings in things and almost can actually make a poetic interpretation of things everywhere, think that it's like the weather these days, which is freaking hot. However if you look at the trees, their green leaves are glistening in the sun and flowers are appearing everywhere. Just look at the bougainvilleas on the bridges and the flowering trees, there are lots and lots of flowers everywhere. So beautiful and comforting because I feel it's like one way of God telling us even in such a situation in which you think things are bad, you can actually see beautiful things in it, if you just know where to look, if you just wait long enough for the beautiful things to show themselves.

Hmm...wasn't sure what to put for the title. Getting Dumped came to mind, but I decided to settle with the current title because that's it. That's what I'm so lacking of here. That's why I need to make that phone call all the way home. Just talked to my mom and it's just different. People can say the same thing and yet the feeling you get afterwards is different. I want that support system. I'm getting too tired. Damn too tired mentally *sigH* A great week just ended up in a miserable tone *sigH*

:) eKa @ 11:28:00 PM • 0 comments

Monday, March 14, 2005

Twenty 3

Michael Jordan 23. For me, that's 23. Michael Jordan has immortalized number 23. So if I think of the number 23, I will think of him, the great one So even if Beckham is using his number, the number will never be Beckham's, he's just not good enough to be compared to the great 23 I know people may complain to me for saying this.

Anyway, last night, when I was lying in my bed, I suddenly realized that in a few minutes I was going to be 23. It just hit me. I haven't thought about it. Okay yeah actually I had thought about it, but the funny thing was as the day was approaching me, I just kinda wasn't aware of it. This is despite of my first birthday present actually came last Saturday. I think it's from Dagi, I wasn't there when the postman came, so I have to take it from the post office on Wednesday. Why Wednesday? Because it's the only day of the week the post office open until 8 pm. Anyway, of course the realization of me being 23 came to me when I woke up this morning, after being reminded of it before I went to sleep last night. Also, because of the sms that finally reached my phone after I switched it on. Darren was the first one I love Darren In a friendly way, of course, don't go on speculating! It must take him a lot of effort to remember my birthday Miss him really...miss talking to him...I seriously think of Darren a lot when I am upset because most of the time I would want to punch someone and he's not there, my shoulder to hit on

Anyway, received birthday wishes from several people. Except from the girls (by the way where is Emilia?), I didn't expect the rest to notice, but they did. 2 of them ... well, let's just say, that it would have meant a whole lot deal if they had wished me last year instead of this year, but what can I say? I say "Thank You" Seriously "Thank You". The rest were really nice for remembering. The ones who promised to remember don't remember. It's okay. I want this day to go off quietly. I'm thankful to God for this day. I'm pretty happy today. Not excitedly happy but nobody is making me sad. I just felt a sense of calmness and satisfaction today. Thank you God YOU are the best

:) eKa @ 5:19:00 PM • 0 comments

Thursday, March 10, 2005

HiTcH

From the title, that is actually what I want to write about, but right now I am in deep anger and sadness that I just can't really put myself together. Hmm...I suddenly feel eerie with the unusual thing that I saw early this morning.

Okay, first thing first. I watched Hitch yesterday. I wanted to watch the movie because of Will Smith. Just love him. He's one cool guy. The movie is actually not bad. There were times when I feel that some of the lines are quite cheesy. I couldn't believe that they actually said that. So was it funny? Yeah, slightly. Don't think that they actually banking on the comedy to sell the movie, but yep there were some funny moments. Will Smith is smooth and of course so believable as someone who can win you dates. The other characters...well they are pretty okay too I guess. Not much of a moral value or anything that I get from watching this movie. It was just an okay movie.

Then the other thing. Today was the second day of the week that I really feel like crying in a place that I should not. I just couldn't believe that people can do that. I feel no one understand and ... and it's not the point actually. Having people understand what we are going through doesn't really help, well at least not for me. I want nothing else than to just leave the shit behind but it's not happening. Not yet as people would argue and my God-believing self would argue *sigH* What I really want and what I always want is not to feel or to be gone *sigH*

Okay those were written yesterday (Wednesday, 09/03/05) but just didn't manage to post it yesterday.

Today...well...found out that Arsenal lost *sigH* No comment about that. Barcelona lost to Chelsea yesterday, that was totally sad. But at least Juventus is through, so I'm switching ship We must stand for the other French guy, right? Trezequet is just so cute

:) eKa @ 8:59:00 AM • 0 comments

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Constantine

*Phew* Finally have the time to sit down and write this and put that handsome face there I went to watch Constantine last Monday with Vivy (Finally). Okay, before I dwell on other things, my take on the movie first. Obviously the reason why I wanted to watch Constantine is because of Keanu Reeves. Not a horror-movie person myself, watching this movie kinda took me by surprise. Keanu Reeves played a guy named John Constantine, who had the power to see things which he called half-breed. These half-breed were basically angels and demons who roamed the earth to influence human in their lives. Before you say that this is pretty much fiction, remember the times when you were back in school or in your sunday school when your teacher told you that you have this angel and demon around you (one on your left and the other on your right, or perhaps sitting on your shoulder) and always tell you to do things, bad and good, and your teacher would always tell you to listen to the good. So basically the idea, though it was made much scarier with the special effect is actually something so basic and perhaps so internalized in our lives. So these angels and demons kinda in a way "whispered" to us and influenced us to do things. So John got so freaked out when he was young because he was seeing these things and nobody could understand him, and so he tried to do what most desperate people do to drown all their misery, he tried to commit a suicide. For a few minutes he went to hell, because apparently (especially as believed by the Catholic church) when you commit suicide, you go straight to burn in hell. This is truly something to think about in my head. So our dear John got even more freaked out with hell rather than the things that he saw on earth. Knowing that his little attempt caused him to be one of devil's most loveable potential to delight in his home, John tried his best to redeem himself to God so that he could get a place in heaven. So he did good things. He was on a mission to get rid off all the devils who were doing things which were out of line straight to hell. He thought by doing this, God would acknowledge his good work and granted him a place in heaven. Now our dear John smoked a lot and he was diagnosed with a terminal cancer and he was pretty afraid that he would not get to heaven. So he asked an androgynous angel, Gabriel, what his chances were. The answer was he was going to burn in hell. John was so pissed because he was doing all these good things for human and yet he still couldn't go to heaven. The thing is as Gabriel said, he didn't do this for the good of others, he was doing it for himself. He was not sacrificing himself for others, he was only thinking of hiw own ass. The other thing with John was he didn't actually believe in God, he didn't want to submit to Him, basically because he felt that God was not doing anything for the good of human being on earth, and he was the one who have to do all the shit of sending the devils back. Okay, I don't want to talk about the main story because I just want to focus on John Constantine. The theme for his character is what touch me the most, because in real life, we all do that. We do good so that others will good to us. We do good so that God loves us and be kind to us and gives us more blessing and grants us our wishes. We do good so that we'll get to go to heaven. Also the most common one, we do good thing, because ethically it was the thing that we are supposed to do. I don't even want to go into the people who do good so that they look good in front of others. The bottomline, of all the good things that we do, how many of them was actually done because of full compassion, because it hurts us if we don't do that good deed. I was reminded on the time when osHie gave me a reading about Mother Theresa to inspire me in coming out with a door gift design for MKP (Misi Kami Peduli) introduction. I remembered from the reading something like this (I couldn't remember the exact word), Mother Theresa wanted people to give and help the poor not because it was the right thing to do but because we feel the pain that these poor people were having and their suffering were also our suffering that we need to do something to help them, to make their life better. All comes down to sincerity. I guess, the simplest way to put it is if you strip off all the benefit that you get from helping a person, will you still do it? On another note, another thing that I take from John Constantine character. You may think, WoW God was mean for not letting him in after all the good things that he did. Well, actually just a simple thing to do to gain entry (especially for Christian) to heaven, BeLieVe. Believe in God and acknowledge Him. For Christian, believe in Jesus Christ and submit yourself to Him. Have faith.

Because of the above-mentioned things, I actually think the movie has a good theme. Keanu was ... typical Keanu? Well he is just good in playing a cool guy with some mysterious air about him. He also, as proven in the Matrix, looks good in suits Anyway, truly loves Mr.Reeves now Was pretty surprised to see Gavin Rosdale there. What else, the movie kinda spooked me, well because I never really watch horror movie in a cinema, all dark and with loud sounds. So I was kinda afraid that I couldn't sleep that night, because when I was a kid, after watching something a bit scary, I would not be able to sleep at night and I ended up have to knock at my parent's room and sleep with them. A trip to Lubang Buaya haunted me for 3 days. Knowing that I couldn't take it, I refrain from watching any scary movie, well, mostly refrain from watching movies with a lot of suspense in it. Though now I do try to watch this kind of movie on daylight, on my computer or VCD. For now, I will refrain watching any scary movie in the cinema except if Keanu is in it Anyway, that night, just to make sure I could sleep, I drugged myself with my cough medicine + panadol + 2 capsules of my sore-throat medicine. The panadol was because I was feeling a slight dizziness. Been feeling pretty dizzy all this week *sigH* The cough and sore-throat were from the doctor last week. I actually fell sick the previous will, hence the delay in watching Constantine. It kinda worked, I could sleep. But on Tuesday night, I got the creep back, especially after watching CSI, where there was a scene of a woman dying by hanging *sigH* I'm pretty okay now and I will be having a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend alone Anyway, last week when I was sick, I could sleep really well because of the drugs, that got me thinking about drugs and all. I guess I just need that time when I don't feel anything. I don't get that, not even in my sleep *sigH*

Okay, on other news. Vivy gave me a news which kinda shocked me a lot, but she looked pretty calm in delivering the news. I guess she was pretty determined. Talked to mas Boon Kiat a little this morning. Wah, he could really carry a conversation in Indonesian. I kinda feel proud about it I know he perhaps would like to thank his indonesian teachers rather than us, but I gues we all influenced him right What else? Marlisa's mom went to Bali, that's nice. I would also like to go. I heard there's this unexplainable thing happening in Bali, kinda mystical. But I've only heard it from a singapore paper, so perhaps it is not that big of deal in Indonesia. Perhaps being drown by the sentencing of Abu Bakar Basyir and the fuel price rising. Marlisa's birthday is today. Sent her an sms this morning. I hope she gets my present, last night I was wondering if I actually wrote the address correct. I was in a rush and perhaps quite a blur last week. Marlisa's b'day means my 23 is coming soon too *sigH* The song list is no more fitting and so I must change *sigH* Take care people. Hmmm...gonna see Tommy and Chucky from the Rugrats tonight. Love those kids, my mom couldn't comprehend how her big 22-year-old daughter can still watch this kind of cartoon

:) eKa @ 11:28:00 AM • 0 comments