Sunday, March 14, 2004
2 number 2, sounds like Sesame Street doesn't it? Well, the inevitable comes, what can I say? Nothing really. It feels like a normal day, but I did get some nice wishes from so many great people. Really...I really appreciate the people who sent me sms today. I didn't expect some of them would remember or care but they did and to actually send me wishes prove that they're good people. I do have people who care about meThe biggest surprise was getting a present from my best buddies [Marlisa, Dewi, Emilia] yesterday. It's surprising 'cause it was only this week they were rushing in trying to crack me out and finding what I want. So I thought whatever it was they got me would arrive late, but it was on time. I really appreciate them. They gave me a cool card, home-made (Marlisa's idea), which reminds me that I hardly make anything home-made anymore. You know, it's truly special to receive a home-made card and things like that, maybe I should do this again more often. The girls sent me pictures of the primary school's reunion (which I didn't attend) and as usual I can't recognize many of the people in the picture. I'm totally bad at this, I don't know why
Watching The Parent's Trap now. I remember watching this in the movie, with my cousins (yes, including Marlisa), the good old time when things were okay. Things change but today has proven that things might get better again
:) eKa @ 8:02:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Good Morning! *yawn* I'm so sleepy. When it's over, that's the time I fall in love again Okay that song from Sugar Ray has nothing to do with the title. I'm so sleepy, I don't think I'm thinking straight. Anyway, this what has to do with the title. I went to NUS yesterday (after such a long time I haven't been there). I was there to attend this talk from NUS ISCF (Indonesian Christian Fellowship). You can count with 1 hand how many times, I actually participated in any ISCF's activity, so it was very surprising that I went there to attend to talk. That and also the fact that I've kinda been in a hiding all this while and I'm kinda reserving myself for me. When I got the email about this talk "When It HURTS", I just found it to be a sign. I should go, because a lot of things just hurt in my life lately. I mean, you can see that I haven't actually been making positive posts in this blog. If you read my posts, you can see that they're a bit on the down side. So I went to the talk in hope for something to open my mind and maybe to help me see things from a different angle. You can say that maybe I'm hoping for a healing process. Don't actually get that, but the talk itself was interesting, the discussion was eye-opening and some questions which were asked I think will remain unanswered. I feel that some questions are like that, they just will remain unanswered. One of the first question in the discussion was why is it that suffering is often link to the God Almighty is kind? Hello??? Am I the only one who think that there's something wrong in this statement. Maybe some people are so religious that they can see the silver lining in their suffering but aren't there actually more people out there who think that God sucks in their suffering? I think when you're hurting so much,you start to think and question a lot of thing and re-asses your life and what you've been doing and where you are going to. Suffering may make you contemplate more and in a way it changes you. That was also 1 of the conclusion of the talk yesterday. How it changes you, well sadly sometime it's not always for the better. I know what it's like when it hurts and maybe what I feel is nothing compared to what other people feel, but it's enough for me that it sucks the life out of me. I don't think I have learnt how to cope it well, I don't think I'm even coping; so I don't think I can give much of an advice and comforting words.Anyway, yesterday was fun, to be back in NUS again. It was a big part of my life and sitting in the internal bus, I just felt like a student again
I received an sms from mom this morning. It turns out I'm getting older, and as always as my father has always asked me to do, I'd better find a boiled egg
:) eKa @ 9:31:00 AM • 0 comments
Saturday, March 06, 2004
I went to watch In America today. Had been wanting to do it since last week but I only managed to get my lazy ass to the movie todayGot my new contact lenses today. Got my eyes checked 2 weeks ago. Surprisingly, my eyes are actually flat that the optician feels that I'll be better off with a customized lenses. I didn't have any astimagtism (or cylinder as we call it in Indonesia) and my eyes actually didn't really get much worse. I thought I'll be having -4 (or power 400 as they call it in Singapore?). I promise if I am a bit rich later on in life and my eyes get worse, I'm just gonna have Lasik. My new lenses feel okay (I guess). The optician said that it might need some time for me to really get adjusted with this new lenses. By the way, I found the lenses to be expensive, I got some goodies of course, but the whole thing costed me S$ 180 (Hua....I should not spend so much money). The optician is so nice and friendly, I feel she can sell me anything. She gave me so many solutions that I feel that this whole thing is so troublesome. I remember my first time wearing lenses, I was also given so many solutions, I then happily switched to the multi-purpose solution. However, this new lenses of mine should be able to last 2 years with proper care, so I guess I should really take good care of it, even with my 3 types of solution + protein removal tablets
Yesterday, March 5, 2004, was my dear cousin Marlisa's 22nd birthday. So I just want to say a little shout out for her.
Happy Birthday
I wish her all the happiness and love in the world....miss her much...
:) eKa @ 11:37:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
I don't think I'm a high-maintenance kind of girl. The last few months in 2003 had been pretty rough for me. Everything was tumbling down at the same time (you wouldn't believe the things that went through my head). Remember that I once wrote that everything went wrong at the same time; I didn't know what to think, how to react. Some things are still wrong, but some things are clearing up. I didn't ask much, I just want to feel okay. Right now I feel that I have been receiving too much, that I'm kinda freaking out. I know it's a blessing or luck that I should just be thankful for, but I just feel uneasy about the whole thing. I'm just afraid that getting good things mean that bad things will come (maybe even worse things). I know I'm being paranoid and I should not think about things like that. I should enjoy the ride and say grace each time. *sigh* You're sad and scared when things go wrong and you're still not totally happy and still pretty scared when the good things come ... What do you want Eka?:) eKa @ 9:24:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, March 01, 2004
Yes, today is Monday and people are most probably starting today with "I don't like Monday!!!". I can totally understand why. I just finished replying Rista's email, telling her how I am (Feeling a bit dizzy actually todayAnyway...What's been going on Eka? Well...Last week, I actually kinda understand why I have people being so kind to me. I feel that there are a lot of reasons for that, but last week I just feel that I do have people being so mean to me that maybe as balance God gives me people who are extremely kind. I encountered a few strangers last week who were so kind. One morning I met this auntie who gave me Streats (She took a lot of copies, she felt she couldn't carry all of them so she insisted I took one. We had a good little conversation). There was a morning also where I sat next to a very friendly kindergarten girl in a bus. Man! Sitting with her opened a whole new perspective in my head, try explaining what a country is to a kid and why Indonesia is a different country than Singapore.
Today, I feel that I always get help in a lot of part of my life. I can get through NUS because of the so many people who helped me so much; the people who stayed up late to help me with projects, the people who before they went to bed sent encouragement to me through msn and icq, the people who didn't take the same module as me but gave time to help me out. Why oh why did this people do all of these things, you may ask? They are kind, aren't they? and I am so much blessed. Today I also feel that I still have that kind of people helping me out. It's a good thing you may say, but I just feel how come I couldn't do things on my own by myself. What if one day I really have to do them on my own? or is it the way my life is written that I will always have people helping me out? Well, people who know me know that I am pessimistic. I just can't be that sure.
:) eKa @ 8:45:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, February 23, 2004
wah, never in my craziest thought have I ever thought that I would write about Inul. Inul, What is Inul? Who is Inul? Well if you're Indonesian you will definitely know who Inul is. She's a famous dangdut singer who created quite a controversy sometime ago. So why I am writing about her now? Well, it's just this morning, I couldn't help grinning when there's actually news about her in Channel News AsiaHonestly, I don't like dangdut. I'm sorry for all the dangdut fan out there or Inul fans
:) eKa @ 8:40:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 21, 2004
She brought all her sorrow and trouble with her, sacks of them. She was ready. She took a deep breath and all of the sudden all of them disappeared. She asked for blessing upon her mother, father, and brother. For her family, her aunts, uncles, and cousins. For her best friends and dear friends. For the people that she prayed for at night. (She was running out of time) She said thank you, for her life. For waking up, for having things to eat, for having money, for being given someone in time when she needed them the most, for having many that others didn't.
Imagine that you actually met that genie from the bottle. 3 wishes. Understanding the magnitude of having the chance to get all that you want being granted, you may find that everything that you thought you've always wanted disappear because things that matter most are on top of your personal desire. Perhaps that's why the genie don't grant world peace :P
:) eKa @ 11:04:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 14, 2004
*sleepy*Dewi sent me an sms this evening. She was telling me that she's graduating. Her graduation ceremony will be held in May. I was actually pretty thrill hearing this news. She's having dinner with her family and she will also be celebrating with girls. I also want to join fun!!!!
Burnt some files from my computer this afternoon. I managed to clear up quite a lot of space. It's good. Now, I really can download movies. Trying to download Friends 10.09 since a long long time ago, but it seems that we're progressing now
My horoscope prediction for yesterday (part of it): ...Although not a revolutionary, you'll do anything in the name of your cause. Your strategy is about going over people's heads instead of bulldozing them... I actually think that maybe there's some truth in it. Although I feel that my brother would highly disagree, he would feel that I bulldoze him everytime.
Talked to mom a couple of hours ago. Had a long and nice conversation. It puts me into perspective about a lot of things. Being away from the family (especially now) makes me feel that I miss all the news. If only I had known everything, I might have not done some of things that I did. Anyway...She told me a story about my bro. He was spending the holiday at home and one night he went out to see a movie and apparently he dropped his wallet or something like that. The wallet contained lotsa of important things and not so much money. I imagine that it must be quite a stressful situation for him and my parent (hmm...come to think of that maybe my mom thought well there's nothing surprising about that). Anyway, my bro, he's really into Buddhism that he goes to the Vihara (=temple) at least once a week (I think he goes more that once a week). So he prayed and he prayed and somebody did actually find the wallet and call him and all was cool. So that's something that perhaps we should remember in our time of despair. Pray my friends, things can actually get better
Watched Survivor All Stars yesterday. I actually had some tears when Jenna.M (Amazon) told the tribes that she had to pull out from the game. For the first time, I feel rather sympathetic towards her and feel that...yeah...she's is rather beautiful.
oH yeah. Happy Valentine. What do you actually wish people would have if you say Happy Valentine?
:) eKa @ 11:44:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Guess what? What ?!? This is gonna be a long postGuess what? What ?!? Yesterday night I was watching Boston Public and there was this story about an Indonesian girl who fell asleep in class. I don't why but lately there are some TV series that include something Indonesian in it, like Alias, The Agency, Lizzie McGuire, and last Sunday when I turned on the TV, there was JAG playing and there's this story about rebel in Aceh. I must say that the Indonesian that they try to portray in the TV series are not really the good image of Indonesia and not really Indonesian at all. But yesterday in Boston Public there was actually a guy who really speak fluent Indonesian and it turned out the girl who played the Indonesian girl is a real Indonesian, her name is Tania Gunadi. Surprise...surprise...I know this guy from my old hall, Kent Ridge Hall in NUS, whose last name is Gunadi so I was wondering if this girl is an Indonesian and she is and it seems that she's been doing several things in TV. Wow...maybe someday she'll make it big and be the first Indonesian actresses to get famous in Hollywood
Guess what? What ?!? Good news! My computer can shut down properly now
Guess what? What ?!? My mom came to the rescue
:) eKa @ 7:45:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
So, first episode of SURVIVOR ALL-STARS was aired yesterday. The line up for the survivors was announced weeks ago and since I didn't watch all of the previous survivors, I don't know many of them, especially since many of them are from the first 3 seasons of survivor. Let's see, I didn't watch the first survivor (Pulau Tiga - Borneo) so I don't know all the people from that season. I watched a few final episodes from Australian Outback, so I kinda know Colby and TinaOkay...What else to say? Remember the last time, I wrote a post with the title Changing Tea, I said I was gonna stick with the peach tea. Well, I didn't, I saw the ones with orange flavour and I was kinda tempted to try it out. It's weird and maybe my sensing buds have gone completely mad (I am never good in tasting things actually. My aunt was actually getting desperate when she tried to make me learn tasting meal while cooking), I felt that the tea had some kind of ginger taste in it. It didn't see any ginger in the ingredient list, but I think kinda sense a gingerly feeling. It doesn't give any gingerly heat running through you, so I guess I'm wrong. Of course there's heat but that one comes from the boiling water
One thing has been running through my head lately, it fills my head so much that I don't know if I ever gonna get it out completely. I've been experiencing several things at the same time. You know, it's because being you, you are actually playing different roles. For example in my case, I'm a friend, daughter, niece, cousin, and a girl among other things. In each of those roles you face different things and sometime they all can go wrong at the same time. Yesterday, I was giving a negative opinion about something to someone close to my heart. I said something like this, don't waste your care on those people who don't care about us either. Some people may think that what I was saying was true. However believe it or not, I don't (people may argue about this). Remember once I also wrote in this web that Love should be unconditional, so I just feel that, you know...if you want to care about someone and be nice, just be nice with all your heart and not because you want anything in return. This is in accordance in what my mom often says to me thousands times, not to count on what you are giving to others. But I did say what I said earlier and why you may ask. Sometime it is so hard, people hurt you so much and as much as you try to forgive and forget the same thing happen again and again and in my case I keep it all inside until one day I freeze. One time a friend was telling me not to be dependent on your friends, the only people you can trust is your family. At that time, I thought well she was maybe right. But then, I thought about it again and I thought how sad it is that you can't be dependent to your friends. Isn't it what having friends all about? to help you, to exchange and share each other pain as well as JOY? But if you can't trust your friend, then is it right to call those people your friends? If your friends leave you, are they really friends? And if they don't care about you, should you care too? In any case, if someone who supposedly be there for you leave you, should you waste your breath on them? The truth is I feel that you're never in the spot of asking. If you receive kindness then it is your blessing. You can't actually request that from people. But how can you help not feeling disappointed if the people who you thought genuinely care for you leave you just like that? Should that care you have for them not cease? How to make it not cease? This is only part of the bottle's content.
:) eKa @ 9:43:00 PM • 0 comments
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