Tuesday, March 09, 2004

When It HURTS

Good Morning! *yawn* I'm so sleepy. When it's over, that's the time I fall in love again Okay that song from Sugar Ray has nothing to do with the title. I'm so sleepy, I don't think I'm thinking straight. Anyway, this what has to do with the title. I went to NUS yesterday (after such a long time I haven't been there). I was there to attend this talk from NUS ISCF (Indonesian Christian Fellowship). You can count with 1 hand how many times, I actually participated in any ISCF's activity, so it was very surprising that I went there to attend to talk. That and also the fact that I've kinda been in a hiding all this while and I'm kinda reserving myself for me. When I got the email about this talk "When It HURTS", I just found it to be a sign. I should go, because a lot of things just hurt in my life lately. I mean, you can see that I haven't actually been making positive posts in this blog. If you read my posts, you can see that they're a bit on the down side. So I went to the talk in hope for something to open my mind and maybe to help me see things from a different angle. You can say that maybe I'm hoping for a healing process. Don't actually get that, but the talk itself was interesting, the discussion was eye-opening and some questions which were asked I think will remain unanswered. I feel that some questions are like that, they just will remain unanswered. One of the first question in the discussion was why is it that suffering is often link to the God Almighty is kind? Hello??? Am I the only one who think that there's something wrong in this statement. Maybe some people are so religious that they can see the silver lining in their suffering but aren't there actually more people out there who think that God sucks in their suffering? I think when you're hurting so much,you start to think and question a lot of thing and re-asses your life and what you've been doing and where you are going to. Suffering may make you contemplate more and in a way it changes you. That was also 1 of the conclusion of the talk yesterday. How it changes you, well sadly sometime it's not always for the better. I know what it's like when it hurts and maybe what I feel is nothing compared to what other people feel, but it's enough for me that it sucks the life out of me. I don't think I have learnt how to cope it well, I don't think I'm even coping; so I don't think I can give much of an advice and comforting words.

Anyway, yesterday was fun, to be back in NUS again. It was a big part of my life and sitting in the internal bus, I just felt like a student again It's cool. Was hoping to catch a glimpse of someone but it's just never meant to be Still, I got to see cool people, like JTG, Felis, and Nyile . It was so nice to see them again. It made me feel like normal again. If only I could have stayed a student forever. No way...impossible...you move on...Life.

I received an sms from mom this morning. It turns out I'm getting older, and as always as my father has always asked me to do, I'd better find a boiled egg

:) eKa @ 9:31:00 AM •