Wednesday, March 03, 2004
I don't think I'm a high-maintenance kind of girl. The last few months in 2003 had been pretty rough for me. Everything was tumbling down at the same time (you wouldn't believe the things that went through my head). Remember that I once wrote that everything went wrong at the same time; I didn't know what to think, how to react. Some things are still wrong, but some things are clearing up. I didn't ask much, I just want to feel okay. Right now I feel that I have been receiving too much, that I'm kinda freaking out. I know it's a blessing or luck that I should just be thankful for, but I just feel uneasy about the whole thing. I'm just afraid that getting good things mean that bad things will come (maybe even worse things). I know I'm being paranoid and I should not think about things like that. I should enjoy the ride and say grace each time. *sigh* You're sad and scared when things go wrong and you're still not totally happy and still pretty scared when the good things come ... What do you want Eka?:) eKa @ 9:24:00 PM •
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