Sunday, August 19, 2007
*sigh* I don't know how to begin. Don't know if I can last writing this. Everyone had written many beautiful things about the pet uncle who left us so suddenly. I'm having difficulties writing the sentences.Choose the title of the post because of what the bapak used as the subject of the email he sent us to tell us the news. I thought the email subject was like one of a chapter title from Harry Potter. It's kinda nice actually, kinda had a heroic feel to it. I got the news from the ibu on Wednesday after lunch and I didn't actually cry straight away. I guess I'm just built differently, I don't know. Maybe the news didn't really sink in yet. It took me around half an hour later to cry and yet I didn't cry much, somehow I just felt there's a need for me to keep it strong. Cried so much more than I expected during the funeral. After the funeral, I kinda thought that that was it, no more tear 'cause I have let go but I found myself crying really hard yesterday afternoon. The tears just couldn't seem to stop and now they are forming again. I shouldn't cry, because I don't believe you should cry much for someone who died. It's all in God's plan, so you have to be acceptant about it and I know for sure he would think that I have cried way too much and I am being way too dramatic. It's not that I am not letting go, but memories just come one after another and to write about him means having to remember those times. It's important for me to write this so that I can really move on. So let my memories of him come, how random they may seem.
His funeral was at his hometown and you can see mountains from his house. I thought it was kinda cool and nice. I was thinking that I don't recall him ever telling me that.
I remember seeing him sitting at the front, I think it was his first day. I remember going down the lift with him because we were going to that place in Woodlands. He was telling me his background. I was thinking why the need for such formality. I remember sitting in the taxi with him. I asked him about his name because it sounded so girlie. He told me how it came about, at that time I didn't know the person he was referring to, now I'm gonna try to download the songs. The first "herd" he encountered was mine, a fact that he surprisingly remembered because he mentioned it again in one of our conversation. I remember the BK lunch afterwards. There was a joke he told me which I couldn't really remember the detail, about a prayer before a meal that he had to do because his friends asked him to
I remember the Saturday at the park. The one and only Saturday I have ever spent there. It was in September 2006, we both wrote something about it in our blogs. I remembered sitting down together for my Starbucks lunch and we started talking about life. Found out a few things about him, about his life, and how I was thinking how he had gone through a lot and I am so lacking behind in the whole life experience. He wrote in his blog that he was so happy to see me. So happy! God ... I guess that day I just felt that there's a certain degree of loneliness that we both can relate to, being here alone. From his room, he turned up the volume of his speaker and asked me to identify a song. It's They from Jem. I wasn't really fond of the song but I guess the lyric was really meaningful. I gave him that song.
I was reading our msn log yesterday and it caused me to cry as much as I am now. Our last long conversation there was in April 2007. It started off normal. He asked if he was being protective of everyone and I said yes and he said he wanted everyone to be happy. I believe you can't always make everyone happy but now I realize that you can try, just like what he had done. He said he'd been reading my blog and he said I was talking about moving on. I told him that I always said such stuff. He said that maybe he would be the one who make the first step. He said you'd never know right. Yes, indeed. Feel like shouting at him now and say you idiot!!! How can you leave me like this. I guess if the farewell had been more well prepared, when we get to sit down one more time and have our good conversation and I could give him a cool farewell goodie bag, if we could say take care, everything would be alright, everything would be good in our life, if we had just made each other sure that we'd be alright, then I wouldn't cry this much. But no point thinking of things that we could have done, things we wish we could do. We have to let go, right?
He said he missed starfish. He was saying about the time the 3 of us fight the world. I said yeah, amazingly we did it. Now that 3 people have been reduced to me. Yes, now there are so many others, but God, I still couldn't find that someone that I can go to and just talk. I miss starfish and now I am more alone than ever. He really fought hard for me and starfish. I remember the coffee break in which me and starfish talked about my unexpected finding. He fought really really hard for our well being. I'll be forever grateful. I remember he called me on a public holiday (but I couldn't remember which one) all the way from KL to give me a piece of news which he thought would make me feel so happy. He was excited about it. I remember saying thank you and I was stunned that he made the call all the way from there on a public holiday which he could use for other things. There's just some things that I could only confide to him. I made a call to him earlier this year and he took time out from his dinner to hear me out and reassured me that everything was alright. He thought I killed someone because I said it was quite urgent
In our last msn talk, he confided to me about someone. That time I was laughing hard about it because I didn't expect that he would actually say what he felt and thought and I didn't expect that those were what he felt and thought. I said maybe he thought too much into it. I guess now he knows the truth
He always badgered me for a "he". I was actually quite annoyed about it. One time I asked him "Why do you care so much?". It was quite in all seriousness. I wonder if his answer was well thought of or well prepared, he said because my mom is not here, so he had to nag on her behalf. I wonder if the one thing that made him worry the most about me is the lack of a guy. Well ... I always said what can I do about it? It seems like a task now though, that I have to find that guy. I do hope that I end up with someone and when I do, I'll remember him and say see I end up with a very nice guy and I am as happy as you hope I would be, that I am not so alone anymore. Wait okay, wait for awhile more, or now maybe you can use your divine connection to help me find that guy soon. As you said I was so nice and who wouldn't like your Eka
We celebrated his birthday this year. Irony, he never wanted to celebrate his birthday and this year we kinda "enforced" it on him. I remembered some details from that dinner. A few days later he came to my table and told me he was so happy about it. I said oh really? He said yes, really really yes. I'm glad that he did, that he was really happy. I hope that helped resolved an issue in his life. He then told me about another relationship woes *sigh* Ahh ... this part I wouldn't write it here.
Then we had our last good conversation, May 2007. I mentioned it in this blog. We had a walk. Walking with him would take a different route with what I would usually take with other people. We had a walk and stopped at a place where we once stood also to talk about other stuffs. I forget what was it that we wanted to talk about that day but it turned into another relationship talk (again!)
So that was it, that was my last good conversation with him. If I have any regret, that would be not having another of that good conversation, one last time to make sure that we are all okay and we will be alright. I may not be as close to him as other people are, but I am glad to have known him, to have had the chance to have talks with him, to have had those small private moments with him. Ah I got reminded of the watermelon juice we had on May 15, 2007. It was a big glass and was very sweet. We were talking about the unexpected finding I encountered that morning (what is it with me and the printer)
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this
Jem - They
:) eKa @ 7:07:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Managed to watch Rush Hour 3 alone today. NanSee thought I was being crazy for watching a movie alone, again. However I think she's being foolish. I could perhaps have arranged to watch it with someone, but I think it would rather be a waste of breath. Doing it alone means doing it on my own terms and I don't have to accommodate with people and I love it. Starfish may perhaps shake his head again. On Saturday night he told me that he's been thinking and he thought that I was in danger. To be honest fear swept through me when he said that because life hasn't been smooth sailing for me these days and I thought he knew something that I don't. It turned out he just wanted to point out that my solitary self can be unhealthy and he's worried that it has turned that way. I agree with himAnyways, Rush Hour, it was not bad. Somewhat entertaining. There were many funny moments. I think Chris Tucker is crazily hilarious. Story wise, I think it wasn't amazing but all the funny moments and lines made it not so bad. I quite enjoyed the goofs at the back of the movie, I think that little parts really help making the movie so much worth watching. Alrighty, I can't really say much else. Ciao tutti.
:) eKa @ 8:34:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Finally managed to watch a movie today. Alone as well. I'm sure you know which movie I am talking about, as the title said. It felt quite long since I last watched a movie, but the fact is, it was perhaps only two and a half weeks ago. I really loved the solitude when I watched it alone today but that is actually a contradiction (more about it later). The Simpsons Movie was quite nice actually. Really entertaining. I had quite a laugh. Felt a bit funny though when the movie first started because of the way the animation is, 2D. I guess we've been entertained with 3D animation way too much that it took me quite a while to truly adapt with the whole scenes. Story wise, it was not bad. Very Simpsons I must say. They didn't try to be smart, they were just Simpsons. A good entertainment and I would recommend this to anyone who want a simple and easy thing to watch. I stayed until the credit was rolling as Ms. J was telling me, but I don't know if I had watched all the extra scenes. I left when the Simpsons left. Oh yeah, I wanna say that I was surprised that the pink doughnut wasn't really featured much (Homer wasn't even shown near it in the movie) though it did play quite central role in the whole story. Alright, end of review.So back to the contradiction I was mentioning above. I felt I kinda miss Rista but then I realized it is not her that I miss. I miss the familiarity. I miss being at ease and being the loud and talkative me with people who understand that about me. I miss eating. I don't think I have eaten to my delight these days, okay maybe today's dinner wasn't bad. I miss Vivy and going for dinner or movie or lunch with her. I kinda feel lonely and a bit restless. The irony is, I think there are actually people whom I can spend time with. I mean if I ask them to accompany me to do some stuff, they may actually say yes, but I do not want to. My anti-social mood is very high these days that I kinda feel it's a bit of a torture to hang out with these people. I just feel that I have to adjust myself to these people. The one that I actually want to spend time with, is perhaps not so interested in spending time with me, sigh. I want to go home.
Life has been ... worrying for my mom I guess. She's afraid I'll get sick and last week she was kinda worried with my stress level that she told me to eat chocolate
The people in Jakarta are voting for the governor tomorrow. I wonder if it's only for Indonesians staying in Jakarta. I am not allowed to vote? I want to vote! It's been a long time since I last voted and I want to vote. It's kinda fun though as my mom said it's not gonna change anything. My mom speaking like a true Jakartans. She said the traffic jam will still be horrendous, the flood will still come, it will not make much of a difference. Many will agree with my mom's sentiments. I guess all we can do is pray? Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 9:08:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, August 04, 2007
... Rista!!! Woke up real early just to meet her today. I've been waking up earlier all of this week and to think I can sleep more on Saturday, it wasn't happening. I woke up even earlier today. I slept rather early last night and set my alarm clock to 05:55 am (yes, I like to set my alarm with nice numbers like that)So I waited for Rista and I kinda saw her running looking left and right and we were just happy to see each other. It was quite a funny coincidence that we were wearing pink. I have to admit she looks different than I remember her. The hair was a big difference. The her I know back then always sported short hair. Let me tell you a bit about her. I guess we were 15 when we first meet (a decade ago!!! My God! How we really do get older). We met in high school. She was never a classmate of mine. She was a classmate of a friend I had back in junior high and their class was next door to mine in my first year. I wasn't independent and so introvert back then I suppose that I stuck to the people I knew and I stuck to my junior high friend who sat with Rista in class and hence I got to know and be friends with Rista. She's not a native of Jakarta, only moved in to the city after her childhood and somehow I guess that made her more independent because she had to adapt quick with the changes. Though she may say her 3 older brothers do play a role in making her a stronger girl. Anyway, I always see her as a strong and friendly open girl. She makes friends easily. I can't remember much now but I'm pretty sure we had much fun and laughter, sneaking to the malls and all
Her strong character was further reflected when she chose to study mining in university (a field of study which I think Singaporeans are totally oblivious of, no offence). I admitted to her today that at that time when I heard she chose that, I was thinking what she was gonna do with it. I think the university only accepted around 40 people in 1 batch and out of the 40, there were only 3 girls! She stuck to it and I suppose fell in love with it. Her dream now is to try to work in different types of mine. She graduated and showed again how strong she was when she accepted a job at Freeport in Papua. Papua for God sake! The most east of Indonesia, think of New Guinea people to imagine it. I was stunned hearing her move there. I don't think I could make that leap but she did. I guess partly because she also knew that if she wanted to do and apply what she studied then her options weren't much. After some wiki search, I found out that she was working in the largest gold mine in the world! Grasberg. She sent me a picture of the place once, but I think I lost it. I was so curious and was planning to make it to Papua one day and see her and see how's the place is. Alas, it's not gonna happen because she made her way to Australia around 7 months ago to work in a metallurgic metal mine. She is really a testament of what I believe, that if you want good and big things to happen to you, you have to be willing to endure the trial and tribulation of reaching to that place. I seriously believe this, I seriously think you gotta earn your place and it's really not a matter of showing it to people around you because ultimately it is God that makes your paths so it is about showing to Him that you can withstand the challenges thrown at you. We often dismiss this as luck, but luck is also within God's hands.
I kinda envy her successful life now though she thinks that I am already in a good state myself. I think her life is totally cool though I'm not so sure about living in such a small city where you can see kangaroos and emu hopping and walking about but I guess eventually you could fall in love with the place. She is loving the place, her company, her life now and the whole new world she's experiencing and somewhat that makes her understand what I am feeling. I guess I've known many people who are okay about their life now. None really have that urge to see and experience the other parts of the world. They think they have a good life, they can buy stuff, they are living in a good place and those notions are not wrong. They are right but I just feel it's such a dead end. Seriously, there are places to see and try and it's not about going for holiday, it's about immersing yourself to these places on other parts of the world. Isn't it exciting? Ah, if I think about it, I get frustrated because I'm still here. But here is also a blessing I suppose. I made it out and maybe it will be sooner than I expect (maybe I haven't deserved that break yet) that I can get out again. We both agreed that we have much to be thankful about.
Back to the day today, so she arrived so early that I think Singapore was not totally awoken yet. We headed down to the city with much talks, many many stories. I saw some places that I hadn't seen for awhile of haven't seen at all. Breakfast was at Starbucks at One Fullerton, her treat and I loved my chunky pear tart. We had much talk, much laughter and at some point I was thinking if the few people there thought we were too much noise for their early Saturday relaxing coffee but seriously there were just many stories to tell. I think she managed to brainwash me more than any other people have attempted all these times. She despite of being a priest' daughter is having a good time experiencing all the nightlife there. I asked her if she didn't find it wrong and she said no because it's never in excess, though this is still not something she talked openly with her mother
Moving on with my day with her. Obviously you cannot miss Orchard if you are in Singapore, so we went there. I actually bought more stuff than her. We saw the Indonesian Exhibition in Takashimaya, not bad but we couldn't linger much. Lunch was at Tambuah Mas because I needed nice food. I dragged her for Indonesian food despite of her on her way to Indonesia. She just laughed about it. We couldn't identify which part of Indonesia comes up with tahu telor but she said maybe Surabaya? Then it's off to the Changi again because she needed to catch her plane home. 3 glorious weeks in Jakarta, how I envy that. How I wish I can do that. I can but I have too much restraint in me. We spent around half a day together and it's not really enough. There are still many stories to share and I really hope it's not 5 years from now when we see each other next because it was maybe 5 years ago when I saw her last. I think I only saw her one time after we graduated from high school. She thought how good it was that we can still click and talk happily eventhough we hadn't seen each other for a long time and we don't actually keep in touch through emails. Yeah, I think it was really cool of us
I have a really good day. A real good one and I feel happy and thankful about it because I had a really bad week, whose effects I foresee will still haunt me for days to come. The worst thing to add to all the unfortunate events that I had to endure was that I felt I was judged unfairly. If you had talked to me in the middle of this week, I would have been more explosive than now but since I had a good day today, I'm kinda more easy about it. Doesn't mean that I forgive and forget though because God knows I am not that kind of person. Let me leave you now with a small picture from today (Singapore is a good city) and a quote that Starfish gave me this week. Ah...he and Rista were so nice because they actually stopped me when I was talking about them and said, "okay enough, now about you". They really do care. Anyways, these quotes come from Coelho's book Like the Flowing River which I gave to Starfish and I have a copy of. Page 183. Hearing the page I exclaimed loudly (in msn), it's fated!!! He said it's a sign
As we pedal towards our goal,
we must make a point of asking ourselves:
'What is beautiful about today?'
The sun might be shining,
but if it happens to be raining,
always remember that this only means that
the dark clouds will soon have disappeared.
The clouds do disappear;
but the sun remains the same,
and never goes away.
In moments of loneliness,
it is important to remember this.
:) eKa @ 10:07:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Not much to tell really. Didn't do anything interesting this week. No movie, though I feel like going to watch at least 1 next week (alone hopefully). Did go for dinner yesterday, il Gatto's birthday dinner. I left the peeps before dessert though because I was just too tired. Managed to go and pray this morning and managed to made it in just in time. I am really not in a good spirit that I didn't want a McDonalds breakfast this morning.The weather has been wicked. It rains way too much and I always feel cold. I can feel the wind going inside me and to still be standing is surprising. In addition to being cold, I feel tired and somehow more anti social than ever? I'm just too tired and gosh I hope I will not have to really shout "non me ne frega niente!!!". I simply don't care, I couldn't care less! I don't want to know and I do not want to listen. I want a "me" time. I wish everyone well and for those who ask me to pray, be it for their work or their relationship, I do wish that things will work out for you people. I'm sorry that I do not pray as much as I could, but I do really wish things will work out for you.
Miss the talk with the Mr or the emails at least but I know we both have less energy to do so. Miss the other Mr as well, whom I left a message weeks ago and didn't get any reply. Miss Vivy and can't wait for her to come back because I really need that sensible voice. However to wish for her to come back soon will be bad because given the opportunity to stay longer, she should take it. I am perhaps selfish wanting these people so that I can talk about my misery to them, exactly the things that I hate from the people who are doing it to me. Perhaps these people are already getting tired with me themselves, yes Mr? I miss their sensible and comical comments, even though their truth are hard to swallow sometime but they are right. You are right, Mr.
For now, I just have to make do waiting for Rista to come next week, even only for a few hours. At least I get to talk to someone who is not ... well who at least is an Indonesian who knows me and perhaps has the slightest interest in getting to know how I am, really. I put really in that sentence because sometime I feel the people who asked me how I am (to be honest not many because many are wrapped up in their things) basically just want to know the drama and after half listening, they don't really give comforting and encouraging words. I know because I did try confiding to some people and all I get is basically merda. Take care peeps!
:) eKa @ 11:58:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
People may say I am nuts for writing about this but ah, it's just so inside me so let me just get it out. I've finally bought my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Bought the orange Scholastic one and oh I just think it's oh so beautiful!!! Got it in Borders because Borders is the only place in Singapore that sells Scholastic US edition of Harry Potter. The price was a whooping S$ 62.95, compared to the Bloomsbury (UK edition) that Borders sell for S$ 42.05. That's like 20 dollars more. Now, I do must say that Borders sell the cheapest Potter book, so if you want to get it (though I think you must have owned it by now), get it in Borders because Kinokuniya is selling it at around S$ 53 (if I'm not mistaken), which I think is the actual retail price (I think Times book store also selling it at that price). Popular in Orchard is selling it at around S$ 48 though, because they have some discount going on. I do wonder if the reason that Borders can sell the Bloomsbury one in such a cheap price is because they set such a high price for their Scholastic books, knowing that they're the only place that sell it.Anyway, yes that's all that I want to rant about. There's a sense of happiness and satisfaction when I bought my Potter though I'm not able to read it anytime soon. Kinda wished they had put in the the I've got my Harry Potter at Borders orange paper bag, but I had to settle with their normal black plastic bag. I also didn't get any balloons, not that I wanted it, but I just felt the black and orange balloons were pretty cute when I saw them on Saturday.
:) eKa @ 8:24:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, July 23, 2007
of Being Responsible (or trying to be)
Hello people. Nothing interesting to tell actually. Had a second serving of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix alone last week. Was feeling rather stressed out so I went alone and I loved the solitude. Been having some of those alone moments this week and this coming week as well. It felt rather miserably lonely but right at the same time. Somehow I really feel it is of the utmost importance that I should be able to be with myself. Did have dinner at Manhattan Fish last week with some people though. Don't feel like disclosing the names. After the dinner I ended up waiting for the taxi that never came and ended up in the bus that I didn't want to take. Was very tired. I'm pretty tired these days.Moving on, I haven't gotten my Deathly Hallows just yet and the Mr is not getting it for me, which was not surprising actually
My brother finally graduated from the Uni. Mom and dad went to his graduation on Saturday. I heard it was a long affair. I was thinking that it's pretty cool of my mom and dad to witness 2 graduation ceremonies in different countries. I wonder if a thought came to their head, thinking that they made it, they have managed to bring up the kids from the small babies into 20-year-old something people. I guess another thought would quickly sink in that their kids are still morons. My present for the bro reached home safely but he still hasn't gotten it. He asked for it to be kept at home first. Kinda disheartening to think that that petite pretty thing is still kept in the box and not seeing the light of the day. When I think about how small it is, I'm just loving my big one
Slept at 4 am Saturday night or Sunday morning actually. That's 1 hour off my predicted schedule. Was fixing some stuff and ... oh well ... it was painful but it had to be done. I was thinking of the people I did it for and how they were perhaps awake as well, but instead they were pouring over Harry Potter and I had to clean their mess. Of course in a way, I have to be the adult one and not complaining but one do get pissed off with the disregard and here I am still waiting for the missing pieces which those ungrateful idiots refuse to acknowledge. Ah ... apparently I am in an angry mode.
Jase found out something about me today which prompted him to ask me "So why are you here?". To which I could only reply "Ask God". There were times when I was losing reason. I think I haven't found that "reason" back and the only reason why I wasn't really bugged about it now is because there's just too many other things that distract me. Unfortunately it is very true. I can't find any reason, really. The same way I cannot find any reason why I should stay in Singapore, sigh.
Vivy asked me what was the butterfly-like prints on the sand of the picture I posted for the Bintan trip. It's actually sand balls that the little crabs made when they dig their holes. So there were many little sand balls surrounding their small holes. Magnificent really and I said my head got to thinking to the point of existence when I look at the picture. Why? Because those crabs spent time digging and in the process creating those patterns only to be destroyed hours later by people walking around or by the wave. So what's the point I wonder? But that's just how their lives are? I wonder if they find meaning in it, I hope they do. I wonder if people see me and wonder what's the point of me doing what I am doing. Sadly I won't be able to give them satisfying answer. I just hope that I have done my best because at least doing your best is in God's path. Of course the most worrying thing for me is not being in God's path in the first place because that would make me so wrong regardless of how hard I tried to make it work. Oh listen to yourself, Eka! Take care peeps, a close up picture of the crab's holes.
:) eKa @ 8:27:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Review coming up, but bear with me with a few boring details. I am so tired as I am writing this. Was supposed to do something but then I got back to my room quite late and I had to do some ironing (the chore that I hate the most) and so I'm just very very tired now. Today I have quite a full day. Started it early and I spent around 12 hours out doing a few things here and there. Morning engagement was rather difficult because my mind wasn't there. I was quite sleepy and lazy but Carl as usual did provide laughter and I realized that I really love spending time with all of them. There was talk about the next one and as much as I don't want a break, I think it is perhaps better for all of us because obviously I'm getting lazy, I start to reject a few things, and I do want to sleep more.Afterwards to the post office I went and I think I was a bit rude to the lady who I felt didn't handle me well enough. Then the other lady came to serve me and she was so nice, I felt rather bad. I hope the package reach home safely. All I can say is "Becoming the nicest sister is expensive". Why I did it then? Well I just have my moments when I just feel like doing something out of the blue, like buying 9 ice creams. Then it was Harry Potter with the circle of trust (review is coming, wait for it). After the movie, we went for lunch and then Cheeky Monkey had to leave us and meet his cousin, so it's the girls accompanying Vinny in spending his birthday fund. He bought something which I hope he really likes, because I really like the thing that I bought with my birthday fund. After the shopping spree, it was dessert time, with talk that involved booze, clubs, and a crazy cake. Let's see if they manage to come near in intoxicating me and the flyingNun
I must say, speaking from outside the book point of view, I think the movie was quite well made. I think its story was not bad. However from the book point of view, obviously they had to take out a lot of parts but I think some of the parts that they took out were quite a good choice. Of course there's a few disappointment, like how with the so many characters there, none of them really have the chance to stand out, like Snape, Ron, Neville, Hermione, Kreacher (in order of which I think they should play more role). Take Snape for example, how many scenes he actually got. Even the scene which showed Harry's dad was actually a bully who tormented Snape, it was not featured long enough to give an emphasis that Snape had every reason to dislike the Potter and how badly treated he was. Then there's Ron and Hermione who were just the best friends there whose contribution to the whole adventure were not visible. Neville should have had more limelight in this movie if we followed the book, but he didn't get much air time. Kreacher the elf didn't have lines or story that emphasized his role in the whole plot. Then I felt the climax can be so much better. It just wasn't exciting enough. The fighting scenes were short and I felt it should have been longer and highlighted how Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, and Ginny really helped. The way Sirius died was also rather a disappointment for me. I think he deserved a better glorious send off. The Dumbledore and Voldermort fight was rather interesting but not really super cool.
A few things worth noted though. I'm glad that the Weasley's twin farewell did get some air time and it was crafted quite well, though I wish it could be bigger and better. There were a lot of things being written about this movie and many critics pointed out how Umbridge was nicely played by Imelda Staunton. Yes she was annoying and the smile and the voice and the way she spoke slowly did make you dislike her but of all the new cast, I was particularly amused with the girl who played Luna Lovegood. She didn't appear as nutty as the book depicted her, but her air of strangeness was totally apparent and I personally like how her voice and the way she spoke did sound dreamy just like the book described her. On other characters, I still love Ron. Emma Watson is getting prettier but I think her Hermione is a bit unnatural because she often says her lines in so much seriousness that it does seem like she is acting rather than watching Hermione talking. I love the Weasley twin because they're always a good watch. I don't really like Dumbledore though, because I think he wasn't pictured as wise and as patient as I imagine him to be. Ah, I guess I picture so many of these characters when I read the book that when the movie's character is different from what I imagine, I felt rather disappointed. I almost forget, I have to mention Helena Bonham Carter because her Bellatrix Lestrange (though her scenes were not much) was just freaky, manic, and plain scary. She's really good. I think she's scarier than Voldermort actually
The Rebellion Begins
:) eKa @ 12:50:00 AM • 0 comments
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Went to Bintan with La Gioia and NanSee during the weekend. It was somewhat not planned. I forgot how we began. We found out that iL Gatto was going with his girlfriend and what started out as a joke of us stalking him became a real plan which was put into action in a speedy manner. It took us less than 2 weeks to decide where and when we actually wanted to go and made the booking. A lot of spur of the moment. We didn't really think if we could actually go and the days leading to the trip did prove to a be a testing one for me and La Gioia at least. Anyways, so we took the 8 pm ferry on Friday night (060707), arriving in my dear country at night. Got our room and it wasn't bad. Room number 1, my number 
We didn't stay long though. Next stop was trying the banana boat, in which NanSee screamed loudly and happily which I think made the guy eager to tease us and they started moving so fast and next thing I knew, I fell into the ocean! I who cannot swim. Was pretty scared but I tried to stayed calm. When I resurfaced I was so elated to see La Gioia and NanSee in the water too. They had fallen as well and I was so glad to see them. Imagine how embarrassing it is to say I fell off a banana boat but we all fell together! So that's not embarrassing. I must say it was purposely done by the guy. We were crazy though, I guess after we saw the 3 of us fell together, we became happy and started laughing even as the guy tried hard to get us back on the banana boat We had dinner at (according to what people say) the best seafood restaurant in Bintan. One of the dish we chose were snails and I like it! I remember eating it when I was young and my mom was surprised that I remembered that. I do, I remember stuff, hence I guess people should be more careful with me. Anyways, the food was great. I went back to the hotel feeling tired. Not much thing we did that night because we were tired. Back to the lounge / bar and yet the so called party was really a boring one. I guess it's because there's not much people there anyway.
Sunday morning was spent walking by the beach after breakfast. Saw many interesting creatures. Little crabs that were going back to the ocean and oh the way they moved, it's so like spiders and there were many of them, Ronald Weasley gonna have a freak. Since it was low tide, we could walk to the secluded beach we found the day before without having to go through the rocks and to our horror, the low tide showed how not appealing the beach was. We saw rocks and the shore line was so far away. But I still had fun walking there and looking at all the crabs, their amazing holes, the fish, the clear blue greenish water, the calming blue sky and the cloud. It was depressing to know we were leaving. We still managed to spend some time at the water. La Gioia was teaching us to be happy sleeping frogs and apparently I just couldn't relax. Ah, I'm acceptant towards it and I don't even bother to solve this anymore. I just have issue and I don't let go easily, so what. I carry so much baggage and let it be. Trying to tell yourself to relax is the most tense thing ever, I suppose. So everything is not okay, so accept it. I'm drifting, anyways, so we had a good time there. Then it was time to go home and I guess we finally ran out of luck because apparently our departure time wasn't confirmed. So we tried to negotiate with the "mas" there to help us get on the ferry. They helped us but gave us the wrong timing so we had to struggle again to get the timing that we wanted. We succeeded and we were just relieved. Happy that we got on to the ferry but as I was sitting there, I felt depressed about leaving. Depressed about leaving Indonesia. The same kind of feeling I always have when I have to leave Jakarta for Singapore. I hated it so much and sadness were growing. Back in Singapore, the long taxi ride took the usual route I normally take from Changi, and it gave me the most beautiful Singapore view at night and yet it just added to the sadness.
It was such a good trip. I had so much fun. It was depressing when it ended. The depression carried through Monday and Monday was sucky. I hated Monday and I think I was throwing attitude but I didn't care. Monday lasted quite long for me and I ended up doing something which I didn't like. I just didn't find it calming as promised. Things have not been fun these days, it's been tough and busy and annoying and irritating. There was plan of going home next week, but that's not gonna happen. There are things I do which I don't understand why I do it. Today was a good example of it. It's like a dream in which I feel like I'm just gonna wake up one day and I realize how moronic I have been and I'm gonna stop. It has become less interesting now, but maybe these days it's just hard to amuse me. Ah, let's stop, let's just show you pictures. I made this small, maybe because it's cuter and you can't see the imperfection. As usual, it's photoshop enhanced.
... our place ...
... ah, a lone boat ... me?
... the sand, sea, sky ... 
... the other things ... 
... lastly ...
:) eKa @ 10:32:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Alrighty, let's write the Transformer entry since Ms. Kiera actually bothered to drop by here and hear my say. Believe it or not, I actually wasn't interested in watching it. In the end, after being bombarded by the trailer, I decided that I should go and watch it. Actually the "tagline" A Michael Bay Film is the one which managed to persuade me best. Yes, don't you think that that line is more apt to be said as the tagline than the other official taglines?So, went to watch the Transformer yesterday with La Gioia, NanSee, Gascoigne, and Jase (nickname given by Gascoigne). Jase was actually watching it for the 2nd time. He's such a youngster. The first time we exchanged each other's ages, I seriously felt old. I should begin with telling what this youngster brought us into. He took 3 adults to a haunted house. Apparently there's a haunted house near Orchard Cineleisure. At first, I was quite interested but after a walk which was quite long, I echoed what Gascoigne said, that I couldn't believe we 3 adults actually followed this youngster to see a haunted house. I think if one want to bring anyone to a haunted house, one shouldn't say we are going to a haunted house. Saying that will just make the people nervous and lose courage. The whole introduction at the beginning made me and La Gioia not keen in exploring further, I would say that Gascoigne felt the same but he would probably deny it. Anyway, so yeah, we didn't really go inside the real haunted house, we went inside the other abandoned house where according to Jase a lady burned herself to dead. Didn't see anything. Felt rather weird and I did say a prayer, but it's not because of the aura of the place, but because as I said earlier, the introductory story from Jase made me rather nervous. All in all, we saw nothing and nothing happened. However there was something that happened last night after I got home that did make me wonder a bit if "something" was bugging me. However, no harm done, so I guess I was just being dramatic.
Okay, back to Transformer. I must say that it was a really good movie. The effect was amazing of course, however I felt that the action scenes were too fast that sometime you couldn't see what's going on clearly. I wonder if it had been slightly slower we could see some bad effect, hence they made it so much faster to hide all the imperfectness. Love the robots and really love how they had so much characters, very good script by the writer. The cast were great. Shia LaBeouf was really good but he wasn't the only one who were comical. I must say some of the characters were really interesting and their lines were just great, witty, and comical. I felt the music was really used to build up the emotion of the movie. Some of the comical moments were just straight off plain comical. No brainer there, just laugh at the moment.
Then, perhaps it's just me with my short attention span or perhaps it was rather late (for my brain to function) that on the second half of the movie when they started to find out about the history of these robots and started fighting, I was losing interest. I thought the ending was rather illogical, but apparently I was the only who felt that way
On other news. Finished packing my bag and I'm ready to go (I guess). Wasn't really excited during packing (I'm in a rather gloomy mood). I guess I'm not one who can pack, or just one who are fussy about things, that I ended up with a big bag. So much bigger than necessary. Better safe than sorry?
Life has been ... it should be a nice one, a good one, however been feeling rather anti-social these days. I got an email from the Mr and Vivy last weekend and they made me laugh. Miss them so much and I miss my mother so much as well. Mom and dad are on holiday. Even though I don't live with my mom, I still miss her. We send sms to each other everyday and not getting any word from her just feels so lonely. Funny how you can be so used to something and when it is not there, the emptiness is pretty significant. Anyway, the Mr is perhaps having the most surreal days of his life yet, hence no reply from him. I miss him. I miss him more today because I think he can understand what I am feeling. I miss the other Mr as well because I can imagine him saying things like I'm a strong and capable person, and things will be alright.
As I made my way home today, I just felt so sad, feel like crying kinda sad. I felt the sadness balled up inside of me and I thought it could just burst and I wanted to just call someone and pour my sadness. I didn't. I didn't cry, I didn't call anyone. I don't think anyone can understand. I also felt tired thinking that I have to recount what made sad *sigh*
I decided that I'm not gonna do my il Gattopardo summary. Felt guilty about it but my priority is just on Harry Potter now. Been spending much time reading the book like I'm gonna have an exam on it. Finished The Half Blood Prince and so I am now rushing to finish The Order of the Phoenix. That being on top of my list kinda kicks everything else, things with more importance perhaps. It's so hard, to do the right thing, to be responsible. It takes lots of efforts and time and energy and I just want to let go. But I hate letting go, because letting go means losing, admitting defeat and I don't want to surrender. Of course there's always that voice that say why bother? I guess because I am me. I guess because I'm a moron? *sigh* I want to go home.
PS: oh yeah, the French are back. Haven't seen much of them but saw them when they arrived and Chloe straight off pointed at me and say "caca!". Yeah she had a blast saying that.
:) eKa @ 8:51:00 PM • 0 comments
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