Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Hello guys, how's the new year has been for you? I spent the last day of 2013 with 2 movies and a lunch. Watched American Hustle in the morning. I thought the cast were really strong. Interesting story and outrageous outfits :P Then I met up with la Gioia at Wild Honey at Mandarin Gallery which I thought was so so. The place was annoying for me and I'm not interested to come back. They invested on what I saw to be only 2 ipads for the whole customers to browse the menu. Other option is for people to look at the board which doesn't have pictures. I'm pretty sure printing your traditional menu is cheaper and will be more appreciated for your customers. I believe the menu in the ipad is incomplete, there's no drink option there and there's no price and none of the service staff made sure we had all the information. Then customers need to queue up and tell the counter the order and pay up, another turn off for me. I also think that's bad, what if we want to order more? No, I'm not interested to queue up again to place another order. So yeah, totally don't like the place and the food was kinda not enough to make me go to the branch in Scotts which according to la Gioia didn't have such a weird service. Anyway we then had our desserts at Antoinette which brought back memory that the place is strangely super cold and that their servings are pretty big. We couldn't finish our desserts. Then we decided to head back home and got away from the crowd. We did make a detour to the Abercrombie & Fitch store. Since I'm not a shopping kinda girl, it was my first experience in that store and it was ... interesting. Quite a sensory experience. Felt like a maze which at first was an annoyance but it became pretty interesting for me. Love how good it smelled inside. Overall though, the conservative me just felt weird inside the store and now I am dying to know if all Abercrombie & Fitch stores are like that.Reaching my room, I decided to take a nap and then in the evening I decided to keep up with last week strange choice of watching a heavy movie. Found Schindler's List and decided to watch that. I was preparing myself mentally for its 3-hour length. Glad that I could pause and go to the toilet. Liam Neeson and Ben Kingsley were awesome in it. It was seriously moving and I cried quite a lot at the end which is weird because though I was stumped during The Act of Killing, I didn't actually cry watching it. I found out that Schindler's List was released 20 years ago which I thought to be quite an interesting luck for me to finally watch it now. It is seriously quite a big contrast to The Act of Killing. These people were put in situation of power, in the The Act of Killing one chose to ignore goodness and be committed in being bad while in Schindler's List one chose to be good and do the right thing. That makes me think that there's always a choice, you can choose to be good, to be a hero, though perhaps Schindler might disagree that he's a hero since he felt he should have done more. So guys, I do totally recommend you guys to watch this classic.
Last weekend, I managed to spend sometime with one of my cousin, Helen, who was in town. Well Saturday morning was spent by myself first. I decided to go to the 2Degree Ice Art exhibition. It was expensive for the tiny size that it is. 32 bucks for admission and 5 bucks for coat rental. The coat was recycled and not cleaned after being used by other people, but I think the dry cleaning bill for your own coat would be more than the 5 bucks, so just bear with it. I spent around 1 hour plus. It was cold as expected but was manageable for me. I wasn't chattering or feeling like I was going to die. Let's just say it wasn't the coldest I've ever felt. Perhaps it did help that as I went in, I was actually feeling pretty hot from walking to get there in the hot sun. The display weren't all that amazing or big for that matter. There were these frozen branches which I'm not sure if the inside were real branches or wires.
Then there's buildings.
Dinosaurs. I seem to be seeing a lot of dinosaurs in Singapore in 2013.
Me and the cousin went to Gardens by the Bay. Since I'm not a member anymore, I decided to only go to the flower dome and my cousin followed suit. It's not your typical Christmas decoration in the flower dome this time around. There are a lot of vegetables, like this cabbage and bell peppers below. By the way you can see a bit of me in the cabbage picture. Never say I never take a picture of myself.
Then there's also these cute things, the pineapple boy, Ananas, and the strawberry girl, Berry. Ananas is actually looking cuter.
Then there's also the moss covered little car.
To end the day, we watched the OCBC Garden Rhapsody at the supertrees.
For more pictures, you can go here.
:) eKa @ 1:49:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
So yesterday evening, I decided to watch The Act of Killing which I accidentally stumbled into some weeks ago. I forget what I was googling at the time that caused me to end up to this. It's a documentary about the people who committed countless, hundreds of murder of people suspected to be communist during the communism purge in Indonesia in 1965. Before the bloody reformation period in Indonesia in 1998, Indonesian tv actually had to show a propaganda film every year about how the communists were evil and how the military at the time led by Soeharto managed to eradicate them all. That basically gave credence for him to assume power as President. I personally have never watched the film because it's scary and I could never (still cannot) watch any scary movies. I would end up not being able to sleep and had to go sleep with my parents in the middle of the night. I remember a school trip to Lubang Buaya, where the bodies of important military generals allegedly killed by the communist were dumped, gave me nightmares for 2-3 days. So anyway, after 1998 and President Soeharto resigned, all things started to surface in Indonesia, including about a different version how 1965 went down. There's some conspiracy theory like how the CIA basically supported the coup by President Soeharto at that time. So instead of a coup by the communist, it was a coup by Soeharto with American backing. I guess America didn't want to see more countries becoming communists, especially with Vietnam war already in their hands. Was our President Soekarno at that time intent on making us a communist country? My history knowledge is not that deep to answer that. Perhaps he just felt the west was pretty arrogant and so he wasn't friendly to them. Anyway back to the documentary, The Act of Killing, the maker was curious when he met these killers that they were proud and not remorseful about what they did. So he asked if they would like to do a reenactment of what they did for a movie in whatever style and genre they would like. Their ideas were pretty funky. At 2.5 hours, it's pretty long. It seems that if you're in Indonesia, you can download this movie for free from their website. I watched the International version though with English subtitle which I thought wasn't precise at some parts. I think they should have just kept the word "preman" instead of translating them to "gangster", that would make the connection to "free man" more easily understood. That was the first time I heard of that actually. Anyway, this documentary is critically acclaimed and has won many awards. It's pretty draining mentally. As an Indonesian watching it, what I felt was anger and sadness and more anger, basically a lot of anger. Not to what happened in the past (why I was even slightly sympathetic to one of the killers when he felt tormented towards the end of the documentary), but more into how corrupts and morally rotten the people in power are. I was boiling mad seeing the Chinese vendors in the market being harassed for money and this is their reality, that's what happens to them and many others in Indonesia on a daily basis. It's sad seeing that these are the people who are in charge of our country. I think of people like me and my peers who have all these idealistic. There will be times when my generation will be taking over and some of them are already do and I do really hope that we can do better for our country, but I do wonder if being in the system will change who you are. One corruption case in Indonesia that got me really asking this is the case with former beauty queen Angelina Sondakh. I asked this to Oshie once if being inside the corrupt system will just change who you are. I wonder. We need cleaner, more sincere people. This documentary is seriously honest in its approach. The people being interviewed, who openly expressed their rotten ideals knew they're talking to the camera and it'll be in the film and they were pretty comfortable with it all. There's some undeniable truth in this movie. One of the killer said he didn't feel guilty because he's carrying out order and I am the type of person who thinks that if you are in war, you do have to carry out order for the sake of your side. It's just unfortunate that the side he was in is a very bad one. When confronted that he committed war crimes, he explained and cited correct examples (like the war in Iraq commissioned by President Bush) that the definition of war crimes is being made by the winner. Since he's on the winning side, he could say that what he did was justifiable. It's totally correct. It's the way of the world. So while people can be enraged watching this documentary and think how messed up Indonesia is, this kinda thing happens all over the world, not just in Indonesia. That makes you really sad, no? Another thing that was rather troubling was the many anonymous in the crew list. These are the Indonesians whose identity had to be hidden for the sake of their protection. Hope they'll feel alright and satisfied they had bring up a story that needed to be heard.
Casryn said I watched such a heavy movie for Christmas eve. I guess I did. Today I watched something nice though, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Love it so much. It's not really comedic if that's what you expect from a Ben Stiller's movie. It's more drama and for me I did choose to watch it to be inspired. Feeling rather sad having to do things alone but since it's the reality of my life, I really need to go out there and not just hide in my hole just because I don't feel like doing things alone. Ben Stiller is looking pretty handsome here. Well I have always felt he's quite good looking since Meet the Parents. Just checked Wikipedia, darn that movie was in 2000, it's been more than a decade! Altogether now, aaarrghhhh!!! Anyway The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is pretty good and the scenes were all so pretty. I correctly guessed what the final picture would be, but it was more beautiful than I thought it would be. The clue, ghost cat Walter Mitty was pretty spot on. Love Ben Stiller in this and love how first and foremost it was about his character exploring the world and not the love story. Yes his crush to the girl was a source of comfort, but above all it's mostly about him. I find it rather interesting, funny perhaps, that just one small thing can be the trigger to spur you to do extraordinary things and I think more often that not it is the case, the small thing, the so called straw that break the camel's back and speaking of that I was reminded of the version of that phrase in french that Mr. N kindly told us, c'est la goutte d'eau qui fait déborder le vase, the one drop of water that overflow the vase. I do recommend you guys to watch this movie and I personally really feel the lines below that the movie is telling us over and over. Have a good one last few days (in 2013) guys :)
"To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to ... to draw closer ... to see and be amazed. That is the purpose of LIFE."
:) eKa @ 10:23:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Hello guys, writing this using my new vaio which I got yesterday. My old vaio has served me for the past 7 years. I haven't discarded it yet. It's still working albeit slowly at most times, but you know I have a fondness towards it and it did take me some time especially in these last few days to decide if I really want to let it go. I'm not the type of person who change IT gadgets ever so easily, example: I've been using my ipod for the past 6 years. I just think it's a waste when people easily change their IT gadgets, which make me wonder what people do with their not that old things when they get new things. While people may look at me in a bit of a ridicule with things that I own, like my phone (so many people have asked me why I am still using my nokia), I actually take quite a pride that I don't submit easily to following what the mainstream mass is into (for the record, my phone is smart enough, I can make call, send text, browse the net, take picture, and that's enough for me). If any ridicule to be made, it's me looking down at how the "smart" gadget that people have does not necessarily help them to be smarter. No amount of technology can change your inherent nature of wanting to get knowledge. Anyways, I seem to have gone defensive there, so let's talk about this new vaio. Decided to get a cheaper one than the one that I set my eyes first, but I feel happy with this decision. It has bigger screen, the same as my old one so that's one big plus, though this one is smaller in size compared to the old one. The processing power seem to be slightly higher than the one that I initially wanted. The keyboard which I am using to type now is very soft and nice, but I need more time to get used to it. It's black, so yay! Been wanting to have a black one since my first vaio but there wasn't any at that time, though I have to say the silver one for this model was quite good looking too. It's in Windows 8 so that is a HUGE change and I really need to get used to how things are. My previous vaio is in XP which causes my IE to be stuck, not being able to be upgraded to view HTML 5 content and yes before you scream at me for even mentioning IE, I did end up using firefox or chrome to do my browsing, mostly firefox. The chrome seemed to get my internet connection to disconnect all the time in the previous vaio. Again with all my unexplainable fondness, I do have a fondness with IE, so I am typing this post now in IE. It gives me some error though while going to blogger :( I still need to install things, maybe I should make a list now that I think about it. Right now, I just get rather overwhelmed thinking I need this and that. Yesterday, I almost collapsed trying to figure out how to connect the Bluetooth mouse I was given. I had a bad flu yesterday or a bad allergic reaction (I'm not sure), anyway I was sneezing like crazy and the head was getting painful and I tried so many things and yet it couldn't work. The OCD me just couldn't let it go and lie down (side note: yesterday evening as well, I was driven crazy on finding the one sock that I was so certain that I saw with its pair an hour before. With the mouse not working and me getting sicker, it was really hard, but I did find it). I also did manage to make the mouse work *yay!* Thank God, I almost wanted to give up and planned to get a normal mouse with cable today. Would I though? As I said my OCD just couldn't let me just lie down and watch Agatha Christie's Poirot on TV. Thank God all is okay and I didn't faint. So what else to say about this vaio. The screen is a touch screen, I suppose because it enhances the use of Windows 8. I'm not one who like changes, so as much as I think Windows 8 is more user friendly for people who are using the computer for the first time, I am just missing the previous windows experience that I have grown up with. I just found out that my computer only has C drive, which again I think make sense for people who are using computer for the first time. I mean all those partition can be confusing right, but now for me it troubles me somewhat without it. So much things to get used to. Suddenly I am thinking about Sheldon Cooper and Abed having to deal with changes :D With that TV reference, can I just say that Hawaii Five-0 is so promoting Windows 8. Like every time I managed to catch it on TV, there will be deliberate shots where the guys are using Windows 8. Product placement which is too obvious like that just turns me off and Indonesian TV and films these days (imagine films!!!) are so guilty of that. Anyway so I guess that's about it. I'm not one who gives myself Christmas present though I do seem to be always getting myself something near Christmas time. I just want to say that this year, the Christmas present is quite expensive. I do hope it'll last as long as the previous one.Moving on, I finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I love it. Didn't expect the story to be as warm as it is since in the back cover it's written, "Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit' em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird". A lawyer's advice to his children as he defends the real mockingbird of this enchanting classic - a black man charged with the rape of a white girl. So I was expecting something more intense, but it was actually quite a warm story as seen from the eyes of the young daughter of the lawyer. The rape case was perhaps the highlight of that period for the kids and the town, but there are actually other things being explored. The rape case story itself only started almost halfway into the book. I love the book and I'm glad I got to experience it. It has a really meaningful message in it so I get why it's a classic. I do have difficulty imagining the period. I kept thinking it's like in Gone with the Wind period where the ladies are wearing those long gowns, but it's actually more modern since they have cars. Maybe it's before Mad Men era? So anyway that's book number 4, I am short of my 5 books a year goal, so I need to try harder next year. I did get a new book today. I ended up choosing Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan. I was already kinda intrigued by it when I was choosing the 4th book this year. Today I finally settled on it because in the book cover, there's a line written by Erin Morgenstern about how she likes the book. Erin Morgenstern wrote a book that I really love, The Night Circus. So I guess if she likes it, it should be good :)
Other thing that I managed to do today is to wake up rather early and go watch 12 Years a Slave. It's a good sad movie. I think there's no word sufficient enough to describe how awful and unfair slavery is. I was thinking how lucky we are to not experience it but I know slavery is not totally gone in this world. You just need to go to CNN to read about modern slavery. 12 Years a Slave tells the story of a free black man who was conned and ended up being sold as slave. Imagine that, how horrible that must have felt. Horrible is perhaps not a good enough word to explain how it's like. In the end he got his happy ending, but it was truly heart-breaking for me seeing how he had to leave the other slaves who were still have to suffer the injustice :( There's one person free, but for the many others it's an awful existence without hope of an end. It's definitely a strong movie. The cast were great, they would definitely move you, especially Chiwetel Ejiofor who played the main character, Solomon Northup, and Lupita Nyong'o who played one of the slaves. One thing that I found interesting are the dialogues which I would describe as a bit Shakespearean though perhaps it's not the right word to describe it. I love hearing the English being used and it makes me feel how we're so not poetic in the way we speak in this modern world :P
I'm gonna stop now. A few more days to Christmas. Tomorrow is Mother's day in Indonesia which is also tangyuan day for the Chinese. Then it's a few more days to the new year which I know I will dread as the days are passing by. I wanted to do something at this end of the year, but I don't think I'll get to do it, so it's business as usual. The malls have been annoyingly crowded. "How I hate people!", lament I. I haven't been feeling much Christmas spirit, haven't been listening to many Christmas songs, but I am going to leave you with this picture. It's the Christmas decoration in Wheelock Place, one of the malls here in Singapore. For those of you who have started to enjoy the Christmas holidays and end of the year, hope you have great one :) Peace out!
:) eKa @ 10:52:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The (Useless?) Things in My Brain
I was thinking of writing a post fitting of the title during the weekend, but Saturday was spent finishing season 1 of Les Revenants and on Sunday, I had a massive headache caused by a strain in the neck and so I didn't manage to write anything. Now more than 12 hours later since I watched Season 3 Finale of Homeland, I still couldn't shake off the sadness that Brody died :'( and so this post will be about tv and all the things I watched which most probably be too many and will make you think that I seriously have no social life and to that I say you are spot on :) I have no social life but the love for stories are just innate in me. I loved reading when I was young and too bad the many distraction in my adulthood have steered me away from reading more, though I do try. I always love tv, I am the one who sneaked out of the room during nap time to watch tv and how weird that when I was a kid, I detested having to nap and now I am longing for it. I love movies and watched a lot of stuff and yet I still feel I haven't watched many good movies out there. Bottom line, all those love points to one basic and simple truth, I love stories :) I just do. With that, let's do this.Let's begin with Homeland. Hiks :'( Season 3 hasn't been so Homeland-ney if I can say so. I think I wrote before that I thought season 2 was better than season 1. Going to 3, I was like ... err. It so happened, when I got round to watch it, it's on the same evening as The Walking Dead season 4 and I always did it as such that I would watch Homeland first then The Walking Dead and it was a good way to do it because this season of Homeland was rather slow at times (I really do not want to use the word "dull") to the point that if something happened, I was rather excited when in retrospect the thing that happened wasn't that amazing to begin with but when you set it against what's been going on, you just got kinda pleased. It was so in contrast to how The Walking Dead been presenting itself this season; they were bang bang, fast speed on the get go, from the first episode. Either way though, I was still watching Homeland because I remember how much I loved it. This weekend as I was thinking that the season finale is coming soon, I was thinking about how people in the internet have been saying that Brody should die and I was thinking I will not be ready for it to happen. Had I written this post on the weekend, I was already planning to write something like, I hope they didn't kill Brody. They did do and it was so surreal I guess. As the scene was developing, I was thinking something's gonna happen, like Quinn would suddenly already swoop down to Iran to go all badass and save Brody. It would perhaps speak a lot to Quinn's character as someone who really just follows order as he was the one who was assigned to assassinate Brody in season 2. That didn't happen and I thought Javadi would use a body double during the hanging, but that didn't happen. As it really did happen, I was in an okay mood. There was no tear shed, no "Oh my God!!!". Weird. I guess I was in denial, thinking that perhaps he's not truly dead, that it is another conspiracy thingy. It did sink in and I did feel truly truly sad as evident by my tweet after watching the episode. I got even more sadder this morning as I read recaps and interviews with the creator and it added more finality to the whole thing that Brody is truly dead :'( Now going back to the last episode, I feel it was more tragic because Brody and Carrie didn't have their last resolution to how they feel about each other. Yes Brody now knew that Carrie is pregnant with his child, but there was not a last kiss or even a hug. It was all so sad and I personally feel worse because I've taken a lot of liking for this character. You see, in season 1 you have Brody as this bad guy and you really just want to root for Carrie to take him down and just hate him, but then the unpredictable Carrie factor really just changed what should be a straight forward thing, and she managed to turn Brody and you really just start to want a happy ending for him and you began to think it could happen in season 2 until his confession video was released out framing him, arrrgghh :'( From then on, it seems he just didn't have a chance all the way to the end. So sad. I know Brody wants everything to be over but it still is hard to accept his death :'( If he has to be gone, I would rather he's just be alive in exile somewhere. Love Damian Lewis in Band of Brothers and love him again in Homeland. His death really makes me not so excited about season 4 anymore :( Perhaps it could be something that I watch when I have nothing else to watch rather than something I eagerly keep up with each week *sigh* Even the presence of Quinn whom I love in season 2 cannot soothe this sadness :'( and by the way, didn't Quinn say he's gonna quit CIA once all this is over? So why is he still there 4 months later?
So that's that. It's rather weird that I'm feeling this big loss over a character dying. When Hank died in Breaking Bad, I was sad even though I knew there's no way out of it, but in the end I was okay. Maybe if Jesse had died, it would have been a different story, but overall I was okay with how Breaking Bad ends even with Walt dead. Perhaps because it's a series finale, hmmm. Then we have the The Walking Dead mid-season finale, where we also had one of the main character died. The governor died which was good riddance for me since I really dislike him. Then Hershel died, I was feeling sad as it was going to happen, but overall I was okay. The weird thing was that I was okay as Brody was dying, but then after the hour was done, I was feeling really really sad :'( Hiks ... Anyway, looking forward for The Walking Dead to come back soon. By the way, as the boy who plays Card grows, I begin to think there's so much Daryl in him. They kinda look alike too. In this universe of zombie apocalypse, I just see that when Carl is an adult, he's gonna be all badass like Daryl :P
Speaking of the undead, last week I finished season 1 of Les Revenants or The Returned as it's called in English and I do recommend all of you to check it out, asap! I found out about this because I read an article that the Americans are planning to make the american version of it. It's french so I thought I should check it out, hopefully at the same time I could get same french knowledge into the brain. I was ready to watch it without the subtitles but then I found versions with english subtitle and I have to say that my french is super bad and the subtitle is much much appreciated. I guess it's also because they speak in a more casual manner, like for anyone learning Indonesian, they may have difficulty understanding how Jakartans speak because we unconsciously structure our sentences differently. Anyway Les Revenants took a different view of the undead. I guess with zombie, we're just accustomed to see them as something monstrous, but what if dead people can come back and be seemingly normal and not in pursue of eating other humans. This is the theme presented by Les Revenants. The human drama and reaction of the family finding out their loved ones come back were interesting for me. There was the mother who was undoubtedly happy, a twin sister who cannot deal with what's happening (after all if you have tried to cope with a death that ruins your family, being pulled back to like nothing ever happened is a lot to digest), then there's also the guy who cannot accept that his love has moved on with life (it was kinda selfish of him not being able to see what 10 years of having to accept death can do to someone). Of all, I was most taken by the grandpa who's so freaked out that he decided to just burn his dead wife along with his house and then commit a suicide. However the undead will just be undead and so the wife returned back. Also an interesting question, how do you feel if the person you killed comes back, how do you react? While it may seem like it's all human drama, Les Revenants is much more than that. There's a sinister undertone and it's intense and suspenseful without actually shoving blood and scary deformed zombies into our face. One of the character that I'm so curious about is the little boy, Victor. This boy is so cute (when he speaks) and creepy (when he doesn't) that you don't know if you want to feel good about seeing him on the scene. Love seeing him, but I start to feel worried because the thing about child actor is that they grow and if he has to be written out because he's grown so much, it's kinda sad. Anyway, I feel it has a Lost-esque feeling about it with all the mystery, like who gets to come back, and why now, why this village, and where's Victor had been all this time since his first sighting 4 years ago when he caused the bus crash. There are only 8 episodes in season 1. At episode 7, for some reason I felt it was getting weird and going to be silly, but by episode 8, it was so gripping and intense and all without actual violence happening. At the end of episode 8, I feel like, what's going on?!??!!? It's too bad that season 2 is not even in production yet. I hope they're going to be really clever in explaining the mystery.
As I do hope the people in Sherlock will be when they have to explain how Sherlock survived the fall. Yes, that is another thing that I watched. Starting in January, along with Community which I'm quite excited about since Les Revenants made me feel like I need to watch something funny. Before all that, we still have Downton Abbey Christmas special we have to go through. Now that I wrote that, perhaps I'll survive Brody Homeland death just as I have survived the death of Matthew and Sybil. Those 2 were quite hard to take as well. Oh yeah, it's rather amusing for me that Les Revenants in France has a warning that it's not recommendeded for kids below 12. One episode even had a 10 years old and below warning. Yes, there's not much violence, there's nudity which is expected for something french, but still I thought the vibe can be too frightening for teens. After I watched the last 3 episodes back to back, I was wondering if I can sleep alright :P
On other news. Last Italian class last Saturday. Not gonna sign up for the new class. Not sure what I'm gonna do next year. I feel like I should start planning things. Really feel like I should learn another language, but like everything else I don't know what I should be doing :( Anyway, in class, there was an exercise where Sara asked us to watch a muted short clip and try to think about the dialogue happening in that clip. There's a clip when Marilyn Monroe was about to sing Happy Birthday to President Kennedy. Before the clip was shown, there's the black and white image of Marilyn and Sara asked us if we knew who that was and what's happening. I answered it's Marilyn and I guessed it's the Happy Birthday clip. In retrospect, I wonder if my classmates knew who she was, like I wonder if I should have answered with her full name, but seriously who's the most famous Marilyn out there. She can go on a first name basis. Then as we watched the clip, one of the classmate asked which president she's singing it to. I was seriously stunned and I had to tell her it's Kennedy. They were also laughing at my other classmate version of the dialogue which involved her singing happy birthday in a breathy tone. I think they didn't know it was really like that. This got me thinking some things. One, I have so many useless things in my head? I know things like this. However you see, I feel proud and good that I know all this and the evil me do look at these people like they're just not my kind of people. I am an elitist as I think people have tried to allude. I'm not that smart smart though, so I guess I cannot be part of the elitist because they will look at me the way I look at these people. Two, I begin to think, I seriously SERIOUSLY need to be with someone who can match this knowledge of mine. Maybe it is too much to ask, hence I am still alone, but I cannot imagine being with people who don't know stuff. Lastly, I begin to think that perhaps I see myself as too young. I mean perhaps and there's a big possibility that all these girls, my classmates with their ignorant questions are way younger than me. Maybe I look old and I'm denial about it. I wonder if people see me and they straight away think I am 30 something? I guess if these people are like younger, perhaps I can pardon them a bit, but I do wish if they're in their late 20s that they would have more general knowledge. So with that very snobbish and arrogant note, I should end this post before I sounds more like an ass.
:) eKa @ 7:23:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, December 07, 2013
Today in Italian class, the topic was still about movies and I told the class that the last Italian movie that I watched was probably Italy: Love It or Leave It. I said I like the movie because I find it very interesting the different sides of Italy that the movie gives. Usually foreigners will see Italy as this wonderful beautiful place, but this documentary gives a more real view of Italy. I said those in a not very articulate Italian, but basically that's why I love it. It was refreshing for me when I watched this documentary and obviously since the film makers decided to show these sides, they know that these issues exist and it's pretty encouraging that they are bringing to the front things which they deem are wrong or bad because this shows that there are people who are in tunes about things that are wrong and that there are people who are not ignorant. It's important because by understanding things that don't work, only then can we start to find a way to fix them. Now that I wrote that, I'm thinking why I didn't say this when I was explaining why I like that movie. Anyways, another girl has also watched the movie and she didn't like it because she said it showed a lot of bad sides of Italy and for the title of Love it or Leave it, the documentary does not give a balance argument to each side. All seems to point out to leave it. The documentary itself was somewhat came to fruition because the couple who made the movie was at the point of deciding if they want to leave Italy. The couple was this Italian and a non Italian. The Italian was feeling heavyhearted about leaving but as they explored Italy more, they realized it's getting harder to find a way to love it wholeheartedly. In the end though, they chose to stay. I guess it kinda resonates with me too because I still love Indonesia though when I look into it, there's just more and more things that I hate about it, but here I am still keeping my citizenship. I have to say, I think it's easier for me to say I love Indonesia since I'm not living in it. If I live in it and I have to deal with the shit day in and day out, I may say differently.So anyway it got me thinking of how I view things and hence the title above. Does it seem that I am the pessimistic one? I mean I know I am. The glass is half empty for me all the time. I just feel like I prefer thing to be told in all its sides rather than be sugar coated to make it easier to swallow. It's a strange thing to say considering I don't like getting the necessary harsh truth. In fact, I always get stressed out when I have to deal with inconvenient truth. That being said, I don't know, I guess I would still rather choose to know all the bad sides first. It's like the bad sides are more important since that way you would really know what you're getting into. The good sides are more like a bonus. Maybe this only makes sense to me? Anyway, next week is the last Italian class. What are we gonna do next year? I have no idea. In this downward mood, I have no desire to do anything :( This week, there's indication that the thing that I don't want to happen may happen and the stress is building again :( I'm trying to pull it together, but I just can't really control my mind. It's all so screwed up. I often can't sleep on many nights now. Sunday night is not the worst anymore, there are many nights like that these days. Mom wishes for me to be more relaxed. Perhaps I shouldn't be so stubborn in how I read things and take another view of the situation. Obviously the way I have been looking at things only sends me spiraling deeper into the dark hole so perhaps a more positive read on things could lift me up. I always say I can't control how I think or feel. I know for sure it's not correct since many people have testified on their ability to control how they think and feel and the good thing it does to them. It's a matter of wanting to do it and be disciplined about it. I got it right when I used the word "stubborn" up there since I stubbornly holding on to how I have been feeling instead of trying to change it. You know what they say, "if you cannot change the situation, you can change how you feel about it". I don't know why I can't bring myself to be positive or even just try to be positive.
Moving on to stranger stuff. In Italian class today, one of the girls in class said, "I don't know who Anthony Hopkins is". WHAT??!?! Another one then asked who Susan Sarandon is. I know it's rude, but in those 2 instances, I was like openly, "hah?". I mean like, you girls live in a city, come on! Then I was thinking, darn it Eka, there are people like that. No matter how easy it is for them to access information, they will just not use it to fill things into their brains and it's not like these things are that important and you know one of them has a husband, the other has a hot boyfriend (so the class was informed last week) and what do you have Eka? What do you get with all these information in your brain? Yeah, I got nothing. So we're moving on to other topic now. I was ambivalent about it, but in the end I decided to just go watch Frozen after class today. It's just it's been awhile since I've been in a cinema. It's actually only been like 2 weeks. Anyway, there isn't any movie which is like calling to me these past few weeks, but then I thought I should just go and as I entered the cinema hall, I realized how I really do like movies. I want to bring this to your attention, the thing about watching a cartoon in a cinema is that there are many little kids and darn they're noisy! I think the thing I hate more than their talking, screaming, and comments is the parents who let them do it. Arrrrgghhh. I observed that today it's the Asian kids who are doing it all. There were westerner kids and somehow they know to just sit and watch the movie without making noise. What's wrong with these Asian parents?!?!? Though I have to say, the most annoying mom I've encountered was the mom who brought her young kids to watch Midnight in Paris. She let the kids run around in the cinema hall. I was ready to murder her.
Anyway, Frozen was delightfully wonderful. I love it very much. Most surprised with Kristen Bell. She sounded so different. I was in disbelief that it's her. There's not a trace of her Gossip Girl voice. I am also most surprised that she can sing really well. The songs, I have to say, are one of the part that makes this movie great. It really gives a Disney feel to the whole thing, although I have to point out that I have mix feeling about the lyric of the songs and the musical style. I love all the songs, I don't hate them, but I wonder if they're really just gonna be bad without the modernized pop feel in the melody and the lyrics. Like if the lyrics were more poetic instead of more current to adapt to how people these days speak, would they make the songs not as easily loved? I don't know if you get me. Anyway, back to the movie. Totally didn't see the twist coming though as it was revealed I did have an inkling on how the story will be resolved and I was kinda right. Glad that I went to watch it :) Feel like finding the songs so that I can put them on loop :) Okay guys, that's all I have so far. Darn, it's always much better in my head of the things that I want to say but when the time comes to write it, I couldn't pin them down anymore or make a good connection from one thought to another to make a fluid composition :( Hope your days will be great. I hope nothing bad will fall on me, but I can only pray and pray for that :( How I wish I can be happier.
:) eKa @ 8:35:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, November 30, 2013
This week Oshie told me about something rather worrying that may or may not happen to his small family. The way he explained the unwanted bad problem as something that may or may not happen reminded me of the similar way I wrote about something bad that I totally do not want to see happening to me in the future. Another thing that came to mind was of the pep talk that Emilia (one of my besties) gave to us all when I was back home earlier this year. She said that as long as your problems are not money or health related, then there's no need to be so stressed out. It's like when you have both, the other issues can be removed, destroyed, or let go. That talk was comforting, but as usual just as my plane lands in Singapore, I would usually go back to my gloomy side. Anyway being reminded of that and in light of what Oshie may or may not have to face, I do have to admit that as grave as my problem seems to me, it's really not bad compared to real issues, like financial or health problem. Somehow I felt like I was being told to not complain so much (as I always do, complaining and being reminded to not be so whiny), but again the spoilt me would just want to stomp and say, no, no, NO, I don't want this!!! So anyway, my situation is still in the waiting period. When I tried to see whatever options available for this, I get really stressed out and so ignoring it is better for the heart, but perhaps not the best way to face this. As for Oshie, I haven't gotten the latest news, but I do hope it will not be a bad one.Talking to Oshie, I somehow kept on saying that being 30 added urgency to the issue and he had to correct me that we're 31 and then I realized how seriously in denial I am. You see, I seriously think I'm 30. It's like not wanting to move on and accept that I am already over that number. Then this week as I lay in my bed and letting the thoughts just come and go (big mistake!), I got reminded what 2014 would mean. I would be 32 and then there's panic forming. It's the usual stuff of me living my life another year as it has been. A realization came that perhaps it will really be just like this, that nothing will change, that I would just have to accept this. I cannot do that. I cannot bear to live my life as it has been but then as usual I don't know what I should do if not this. If I am to be asked what I want, what would make me happy, the answer will be partly abstract and partly not up to me to make it happen. The abstract part, being abstract that it is, makes it feel like I'm in a middle of a thick fog, not being able to see whatever roads around me that I can take. I hate it when people say do this or that or figure out what you want to do. It seems they do not understand that I just cannot see all the options available. If I think about this fact of me getting older and older and having to do my life this way on and on, I seriously don't know if I can do it. Now, that's another honest depressing thought I am writing here.
So let's talk about other thing. 2 more Italian classes left. I don't think I have improved much. I don't talk much and so far I have only done 1 writing homework, which was short and bad as usual and shallow in content. I tried to be eager in the study, as shown by doing that homework when noone else did, but I don't think all my classes so far are enough to help me improve, especially in the writing part. I can understand things and the listening part is not a major problem, but to express myself or explain what I hear is difficult and not as rich if I do it in English and I believe things like this can only be improved by speaking more and writing more. For example this blog, writing these many entries do help me get my thoughts out in English, both in speaking and writing. The fact that I haven't written a lot these days do have its impacts in my ability to articulate what I want to say in English. The words don't come as easily and as coherently. So just like my Italian and French knowledge, I need to speak and write more and it's difficult to do it myself since grammatically I am not all there, so that's why I need teachers. I really do need to make the most of the last 2 classes left. Anyway, the reason I decided to write about Italian class was actually more to talk about how my memories failed me. The topic today is Italian cinema. The listening exercise today was about these 2 films which Sara asked if we have watched. All said no and then during the listening, I realized that I actually watched one of the film, La Finestra di Fronte. It's disconcerting that I didn't remember at all that I have watched it and how I have forgotten what the story was and only when I listened to the conversation exercise that I remembered some parts of it but not every details of the story. It's disconcerting how I totally forget about something like it never happens and I do know that I completely forget other things too like they never happen as well. For example when my parents came this year, they told me about things that happened during my mom's last visit and I totally have no recollection of that. Then during the train ride today, I began to analyze how I remember things these days and I do have to say, they're not as vivid as I normally remember things. Normally when I remember what someone said, I would remember the situation exactly, who stood where, what people were wearing, but now I don't seem to remember things that way anymore. I wonder if it could be that I have just been reluctant to participate actively in the situations (which by extension means my life) that I don't remember stuff in high details anymore. Either that or my brain is going weak and I would rather not believe it is, though there are signs showing it is going weak :(
So talking about movies, I watched The Hunger Games: Catching Fire last week. It was really really good. It's kinda refreshing watching a movie based on a book without having read the book. I wasn't critical about anything and the twist came to me as something really really good because I totally didn't see it coming, totally unexpected. I really like the movie and I'm pretty eager to watch the next one and re-watch the first one. One of the draw to watch this movie was knowing that one of the main dresses that Katniss wore was designed by an Indonesian designer named Tex Saverio, whose clothes were also used in America's Next Top Model cycle 20's Finale. That dress was used in the early promo pictures for the movie and it does look nice, but I was still quite surprised to see it as really white in the movie because in the promo picture, it didn't seem so. If there's anything I didn't like was the transparent straps that were visible in Katniss' shoulders in the movie. I am quite fussy, aren't I? I have to say that the costumes were great. It's always a delight to see what Effie would wear :) She's really interesting in this movie and surprisingly for me, the most touching moment in the movie came from her when she rallied the group one last time and said that they're a team :) I almost shed a tear. Now back to my memory topic, during the movie I kept on thinking who's the guy who played Finnick. He was quite good looking and I wondered if I have seen him in other movies. I tried to dig my brain, but I couldn't pin point anything. Then as the credit rolled, I saw a name which I don't even really remember now, but seeing that name I knew it's him and I knew where I had seen him. He was the clergy man / priest who fell in love with a mermaid in the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. My brain is a weird one.
The news this evening is about the Thai protest. Coming from a country where political parties and politicians are putting themselves above the people and country, the situation in Thailand is kinda understandable for the Indonesian me. It sucks that the people are being manipulated to fight it out in demonstrations to push each other out. It will just be a game of brawns which will just damage the people and the country. Isn't election is all about avoiding all these clashes? I know it's hard to just sit down and wait your turn when you think that your cause is just, but all these protests which lead to violence, it's just not right. I hate all the threats made on the basis of feeling righteous and in Indonesia, I can point FPI as one of the most annoying thing in my wish list that I really want to see gone. Hmmm ... I try guys to write interesting things in an eloquent manner, but I think I'm failing. So I'm gonna stop now. I'm expecting a good week next week. I hope it will really be and I hope your days be great as well. Bonne nuit!
:) eKa @ 8:17:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Hello guys, so how have you all been doing? Since you can't answer me back unless you would want to write description of how your week went down in the comment section, let's just answer how I have been doing since the last I-hate-God post. I guess there's a false comfort going on. I mean some things still cause me to want to jab the pencil I was holding into my arms because I couldn't just throw things at the person I was in the phone with. Some things still get me anxious though perhaps there's slight improvement that someone noticed my anxiety and attempted to ease it. It was much appreciated. If only other things would fall into their places as I beg God to help me. Yes, after I kinda told God that I was hating all that's happening and think it's unfair, I proceeded to feel guilty and sinful about feeling that way and that was rough, and then I continued to my usual self of pleading that He'll help me out. I don't know how my relationship is with Him now. They say God is the all merciful and so He'll forgive me and such, but I can't help still feeling guilty sometime, I guess because I still pretty much have all this resentment inside.As for the things that spurred me into going all hate mode last week, well I was told that it may or may not happen though the person who told me seems to want it to happen. If it happens, it may only happen after chinese new year. So she told me to just relax for the time being. I can't be relaxed about it or so I thought. I mean if you're telling me something bad for me is gonna happen in the future, I wouldn't be able to keep my cool. However, in the end, I did perhaps let it go. I'd like to attribute it to the fact that I really do have other things to watch, however I think I'm somewhat running away from the issue and this nonchalant attitude is so gonna bite me in the ass. For now though, I have to say that not having that much fear, not crying that much is kinda good. Though I begin to not being able to sleep more regularly now and as felt today I think I still look very very sad. It's kinda nice when I chatted with my cousin this week, she told me that things are harder for me because I'm alone. I know some people think it's no big deal having to do things on your own and basically save yourself from shitty situation, but seriously sometime it's really hard for me and I feel people don't really give me much credit about it. At least my cousin could understand that with no support system in my life here in Singapore, especially a family, things feel harder for me to deal with. I know people like mom is trying to help as much as she can and that's pretty much by offering money as soon as she learned of the situation. Something I don't need, but it's nice to know that there's always a bailout ready for me. She also keeps on telling me to be strong, but you know I don't want to have to be strong because I cannot accept that the shitty things should fall on me. However sometime you just can get away from it. No matter how much you try to prepare, no matter how much to you pray, shit really just happens. So this pretty much how my mental state is currently.
This morning was Italian class. I don't enjoy my Italian class much and I feel kinda bad saying that because the teacher Signorina S was very nice to me. I think it's because I have no friends there and I can't break into the existing groups, so I'm pretty much alone and that makes me not excited about coming to class :( I guess Sig.na S notices that and she tries to make sure I'm okay. I submitted a piece of writing today and though she said molto bene, I felt there are too many mistakes :( Mr. C has kinda screwed me up because he instilled in me that in french, you need the "de" as "to" when you write something like "it's easy to ..." ("c'est facile de ...) and I used that rule in my Italian homework, but it's not that way in Italian, no connector needed, so it's like "è facile ..." and this one mistake riddled my homework. I wonder if I knew that before learning french, I guess I did because that was the mistake I made in french which caused me to remember Mr. C trying to drill the correct form into my head. I don't think I have progressed as much as I want to in this Italian class. I don't speak as much and when I do, there are mistakes and I still fall back to English. Very unkind of me, but I do feel good when I see some of the classmates are struggling with speaking. There are one who speaks really well, perhaps better than me. Then there are those who are my level, but there are also those who don't speak as well. The youngest girl in class tends to answer questions in English and everyone seems to just accept it, which in a way I think I was often like that in my language class, but I thought she should have tried. This brings me to think of how nice the Italian teachers are. Mr. C will never let that fly. He's seriously quite a scary teacher despite of his soft spoken disposition. So anyway, that's Italian class. I think I'm half way into class and I think I have to try harder especially since I'm not continuing next term. I need to get better.
Last week I watched Ender's Game. I quite like the movie though I don't like how the story developed. If the adults in that world would like to use kids to fight battles, the least they can do is do some sort of brain washing to keep these children focused on the goal and not be sentimental on casualty and such. Don't they learn anything from North Korea or a cult or beliebers? So when Ender, at the end of the movie, got tormented and such, I thought it was such a let down. I guess for me it's okay and even necessary to be ruthless in times of war. If you have decided to go to war, you should go at it with the fervor that you're doing it for the well being of your kind. Anyway I do like Ender though it's for a weird reason, which is for some reason I cannot fully like him because I felt uneasy about his character. Him being not that fully lovable for me makes him more interesting and that's why I like him. I don't know if that makes any sense. The actor playing him is really good. He's in Hugo and this kinda makes me wanna watch Hugo again.
Christmas is coming, actually not really. There's still more than 1 month to go, but all the malls and decorations are making you feel like it's coming real soon. Every time I see all these malls, I actually feel a bit of disdain, thinking how shameless all this commercialism are. I'm such a grinch? Yesterday in one of the mall, I saw a tiny carrousel. I wasn't working yet, but it looked like it's ready. As I left they were testing all the so bright lights. I thought it was rather crazy. Imagine you're walking near it and suddenly bright pink purple lights flashed in your eyes. I kinda was bought by this commercial attempt though, thinking how I really do want to ride on a carrousel though I don't think I'll try this one since it's tiny even with the 2 levels. Yes, first time seeing a carrousel with 2 levels. For some reason I had this fond memory of riding a carrousel during night time and that memory pointed to Dufan in Jakarta. I'm not sure if it ever happened. Anyway, it also made me think of the 2 carousels I had seen before, the one in Piazza della Repubblica in Firenze and the one near the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I thought to myself why didn't you try it or at the very least go see it up close. What a shame! Anyway, I really really want to travel again.
One of the Lord of the Rings movies is on tv now and just now there was that dramatic scene when Frodo's friend was telling him not to let go lest he falls into the lava. That made me think of 2 things, the similar dramatic scene in Titanic of I won't let go ... and that very very sad scene in Lost when Sawyer was holding Juliet's hand in the well. I thought the Lost's scene was the best. It was really really REALLY sad and thinking about it can still make me feel how sad it was.
Well that's pretty much all I have to share right now. I feel I should write more but there's the laziness. Writing challenges my brain in a good way and it surely helps me in language learning. I'm just sorry that I don't have any interesting thing to say. Hope things are going gloriously in your life. Ciao!
:) eKa @ 9:14:00 PM • 0 comments
Friday, November 01, 2013
What! No Modern Family this week? I was counting for something to kinda cheer me up. It's been doom and gloom since last week. As if my daily life hasn't been soul-sucking enough, I had such terrible news last week that just got me spiraling down into the dark. I think the face I have now is the face of utter sadness that I often wore in the past. I think I have been sad a lot, since I don't know perhaps since 10 years ago. It's swinging from one sadness to another that I'm not really sure when I was ever truly happy. I guess there were moments when the heart is rather light, the moments when people commented that I look happier. Well, I think this is not the time. I think I look very very sad. I don't know, I did manage to make some jokes and smile and laugh at the things people said. All for courtesy perhaps, like by reflex, 'cause truth be told, when I am alone, when I'm looking out of the window from the bus, all I feel is of sadness and I think it would be visible in my face.It's like things are crashing over me one after another, like never ending waves. I even had a bad flu attack on Wednesday and that was really quite painful. However the thing that got me into quite a spiritual crisis is the news last week of something major that I have to deal with and yet I haven't been dealing with it. Chatted briefly to 2 people about it and they told me to get into action asap. Called mom to tell her about it and I finally cried because I really am so stressed out. She said to wait for awhile. I don't know what to do. I just want to stop, to cease to exist so that I don't have to deal with anything. There was once a dark time in my life where when I cried crazily, there's like another part of me who's telling me to pull it together and everything would be alright. I cannot feel her anymore. Like that part of myself doesn't exist anymore. I can't even console myself. I don't know if it's gonna be alright. Maybe it will. Like mom said, I've been through this and all went down well, so I should be able to get over this hurdle as well. I am a very capable person, so I should be able to weather through this. Maybe I can, but I just don't want to have to deal with this.
So begin, my questioning of WHY??!? Why God? Why do I have to go through this? WHY??!? I even wrote in my diary if this is a punishment and all that does was to make me more depressed. I often think and comfort myself by saying that the reason God gives you challenges is to prepare you for bigger things ahead. Wonderful things. This time around, I begin to think if all that is just bullshit. Perhaps there's no bigger wonderful thing in your horizon. There's no such thing as reaching the horizon anyway. The horizon just keeps on shifting because the world is not flat. So all this talk about challenges make you grow and whatever shit. What if your life is actually just meant to be ordinary. That your life is just full of shits and they do not have any meaning. They are not signs or steps to help you reach higher. What makes you think you're so special anyway? There are millions of people in this world who have more difficulty in their lives than you. They're born and they'll die in that misery, the only thing they know, without ever reaching or doing anything amazing in their life and that's just that. If their lives can be like that, what makes you think and feel God has to give you more for what challenges you face now? I begin to think this is it. This is the way my life would be and how not satisfying it is for me. Yes, I have done some pretty good things for myself, but to see myself having to live this existence years after years, I just cannot accept this.
Now this is the part, where all the self-help books authors will jump out and scream, "So this is the time when you have to change your life! Write your own destiny!". Shits like that. Whatevs. For as long as I have to be responsible for myself, which by extension not becoming a burden to my parents, whatever I do have to be done in a calculative manner. Yes, I am a burden for myself and and yes it's my responsibility to take care myself. I guess I do it the only way I know even when it hurts myself in the process. With this latest punch to my face, I just feel like I have enough. Life if this is a challenge from God, an experiment, a game, or whatever it is, I just don't want to play anymore. I feel like taking myself out of whatever thing this is. Why the hell do I have to deal with this? Why? Ah, as my heart screamed that why, I feel like I can burst into tears anytime now. I really really REALLY don't want to do this anymore. The meanest thing of all this is, this is something that I really don't have a choice in. I have to face it and deal with it. There's no running away from this. Unless that running away involves me finally packing up and going back home for good which means I am choosing to end my life here in Singapore. I think about it. If I have said it, then maybe it's a real sign it should happen. However what end will that mean? Even some of the people I talked to, asked me what kind of life I will have in Indonesia if I choose to go back for good. The only way one will know is to experience it. The prognosis however doesn't seem favorable.
Hello Fear is a song by Kirk Franklin which I stumbled into when in my tough days, I resorted to gospel songs. I am a very sinful person for only going to God in times of trouble. I pray more because my days are rough and I started filling my days with gospels songs. Those apparently didn't really help because God still decides to sucker punch me. It's a very nice song, Hello Fear. I suggest you youtube it. It's nice but I'm not all comforted since I'm pretty much in the grip of worry, fear, and all other negativity. I know throughout it all, God has never failed me yet. He's still here and helping me through every steps. I guess what I am lamenting about now is the fact that I have to deal with this in the first place. Why? Tell me why? This coupled with the fact that I feel like I cannot see the wonderful things in my future, it's all just making me so sad and so childish. Feeling that God is being unfair when I know that my life has been more wonderful than the lives of many other millions of people. When I think about how sinful I have been feeling, I feel even more depressed. So here comes the sad face. The face like I can just cry anytime anywhere and I really can, I assure you that. This time, I really don't feel like asking God to make everything alright. I'm asking God to just let it stop, to just take me out of this storm. I don't want to do this anymore. All this in my life, I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel like this has been the most honest writing about how I feel in a long long time, or ever. I'm such a tormented soul. Okay, let's end this post in am more factual tone. Watched The Butler last week. Didn't know Mariah Carey was in it and oh how different she looks without make up, reminded me how she looked in Precious. The Butler does have so many famous people in it. My draw to it was of course because of Oprah. It was really interesting to see all the different presidents. I was most amused to see Alan Rickman as President Reagan. It was weird, mostly because Alan Rickman has a very distinct voice and way of speaking so it was weird seeing him as President Reagan. By the way, I just love James Marsden, always have since I saw him in Second Noah. Anyway, he's very handsome as President Kennedy, although again I think he looked quite different from him. Overall I thought the film was very good and touching. I teared out a lot, but I am in a very emotional state of mind. After I reached my room, I googled about the movie and then I got really disappointed because many of the parts are fiction, even one of the major character in the movie is fiction and for me I felt like I kinda had been lied to and it's a sad thing that the fiction parts could mar an otherwise wonderful and heartwarming movie. Alright, gotta go guys. I start to have headache now. Buonanotte!
:) eKa @ 10:20:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, October 19, 2013
"Indonesia is the country where everything is possible"
The title of this post comes from the book The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson. The weird me thinks it's quite like fate how a book comes to be chosen and read by me. When I go to Kinokuniya, I try to see as much as I can and read a bit to get a feel of the book. It actually makes it really hard to settle on a book. So when a book is finally chosen and read and the book has something inside it that makes me feel good about having the chance to "get to know it", I often feel it's like fate. This book and The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern feel like one of those fateful encounters, simply because Indonesia is mentioned in it. While The Night Circus perhaps only has 1 line about Indonesia when it's describing the wayang shadow puppet, The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared, a story about exactly what the title says touches Indonesia quite a lot and in fact the story ends in Indonesia. Our current president, Yudhoyono, was even mentioned in the last page of the book. Side note: I hope hope HOPE there will be a movie based on The Night Circus soon. Disney should really get on to do this. Back to The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared, it's such a wonderful book. I happened to watch Forest Gump this week and the movie made me feel that the book is pretty similar in style with the movie. I'm not alone to feel that because one of the one liner reviews (that book always has to boost sale) for this book said, "Swedish black comic novel that reads like a road trip with Forest Gump at the wheel". The book goes back and forth between what happened to the old Swedish man after he decided to leave the old folks home to telling his life story from when he was a kid to ultimately reaching his old age. The author took a liberal approach in putting this old man in some of the important events in history. It's all very amusing. The line for the title of this post was something that the old man said when he managed to bribe officials in Bali to get his plane cleared for landing. It's funny, true, and sad at the same time. It's true because by giving the "right incentive" to the right people, things can get done more efficiently in Indonesia than perhaps in the most efficient country you know. It's sad because by keeping on doing this, the people are giving chance for corruption to flourish in Indonesia :( Anyways, if you happen to want to read a book, I do recommend this book for you :)Maybe it's me, but whenever I read a story, I just automatically picture the scenes like if it's going to be depicted in a movie. This would be one interesting movie. However, I think many of the parts will be cut because if not it will make one long movie. So I started to think if a tv series would be better, but I'm not sure if it's gonna work. Anyway, it took me just over a month to finish this book and last week I've chosen a new book. This time around, I didn't get quite a feel from the books I browsed in Kinokuniya and in the end I decided to just get a classic which I feel is essential to read and know, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Also because the book's cover is simple and nice. It's black with a small bird and also because it's under 10 bucks. Yes, I am cheap. I didn't know that the author is actually a woman. Now it kinda makes sense why the Beckhams named their baby girl Harper. Yes, some of the information stored in my brain are junk. Anyway, I haven't gotten far with the book, only a few pages in, but I think it's gonna be good. Already it has managed to get me grinning with this line, "Jem and I found our father satisfactory: he played with us, read to us, and treated us with detachment." :D It's not a very thick book and though we have just a little over than 2 months left in this year, I think I should be able to finish it. It would be the 4th book this year. It's below the goal of 5 books a year, but since last year I read more, then I guess I should be alright? I'm just making excuses for myself :|
On other news, started Italian class today. Kinda have to do it now since it's the last class of the year. I had been so lazy to put the plan into action. Well if I can make excuses, the last few terms I checked, there wasn't any advanced classes on Saturday morning. Right now I'm in advanced 2, the highest class there is. It's lower than I would like to, but perhaps it's the right class for me. The segretaria (= secretary) was telling me I should take a placement test since my last class was 5 years ago. Wow they actually have the records and check it! When we're communicating about me taking the class, I just got the impression that they don't have a lot of confidence that I can get by in this class. When I told them that I don't want to take the placement test and would like to just try this class, they told me to review the lessons from my old books. I was pretty lazy to dig them (though in the end I did), so I tried to do CELI 3 past year papers. I thought I didn't do so bad considering that my last class was 5 years ago. Going through the exams, I realize that I have lost perhaps pretty much of my writing skill and I have to admit that I was too lazy to even try. The reading comprehension and the listening part weren't a total disaster though. I'm not sure if the preparation for DELF B2 still conditions my brain to handle exams. In comparison, I have to say that CELI 3 is a more difficult challenge compared to DELF B2 exam. In CELI 3, there are 3 articles to understand, 3 writings to be written, another grammar components which is difficult even when I was studying Italian intensively, and then you have the standard listening and speaking. On top of that, they have minus point for wrong answer. That and the so so many parts really test your mental to keep it altogether.
Anyway, I was quite nervous about today's class. Not sure how I can manage getting up early after living it like a lazy bum throughout the year and I was nervous about the classmates. If they're good, then it'll be hard for me, but then I have a feeling that they may not be as good as they should be, just like how me and my friends were when we were in advanced. I have to say they're okay. First of all, I'm quite surprised that there are many of them. Normally the higher the level goes, the less the students are. Today there were 7 in the class including me. Some didn't come. They all know each other and I am the odd one out without any friend to do correction and that made me miss my Italian classmates :'( One of the classmate, Andreas, was pretty nice this morning. We were the first to arrive and he was very friendly, introducing himself in english :) That put me at ease. I know we should be using the language we are learning, but often time those kinda people are such a put off. Anyway, they all seem to be pretty good, but it was okay. I wasn't intimidated. I feel today's class didn't go bad for me. Our teacher is still in vacation so we had Anna Maria for today. She remembers me :) perhaps forgets my name but remembers my face. During break, she told me that my Italian is still good considering that I haven't been taking classes for so long. However, after the break I made mistakes during exercises, so maybe she spoke too soon. That's the thing, I didn't get all the answers correct today and that's a bit sad. We had 2 listening exercises. All felt okay. I didn't feel like a tornado just passed by and smacked me in the face, but still on the second listening part I didn't get all the answers correct. The classmates said the book we're using is a bit difficult. They had gone through 3 chapters, which I am planning to pour over this week. The topic in Chapter 4 is rather annoying, the ever difficult congiuntivo, and it's the imperfetto one! Aarrrggghh!!! Congiuntivo makes me hate subjonctif in french and darn it congiuntivo is actually really important in Italian :( It's a real torture. I seriously have a lot of work to do. I realize I've forgotten most of the conjugation and not just the Italian, but the french too :'( I'm actually planning to pick up a new language next year. Based on experience it takes 3 years to complete all the classes from beginner to advanced. So if I start next year, I figure by 35, I'll know 5 languages and it seems like a cool goal to have. However, maybe the time should better be used to strengthen my Italian and French so that I can really speak well rather than just getting by :( Also because I haven't chosen the 5th language yet. I do think to finally concede and learn chinese as my dad would like me to do and as he informed my mother to tell me when she texted me just now :| You would think it's easy peasy to find a place to learn Chinese in Singapore, but I haven't found any place I am comfortable with and actually, to be honest, I am more intrigued with Arabic.
Moving on, after class, I met with la Gioia for the all important catch up. She found her next step and she's moving on to the next chapter of her life. Her leaving the place where I spent 6 long years and was very formative in my life feels like that chapter in my life is finally closed for real. You see, it's like she's the last connection to that place. With her moving on, I'll get no story, no gossip, so it's like a different entity that I don't know of. Everything will change and everyone has to move, we can only hope that the movement is forward. So anyway, we watched Prisoners today. I didn't have any intention to watch this movie, because I wasn't interested in the theme and story, but there aren't many nice movies this week and since I really don't want to accompany her to watch Insidious 2, I guess at the very least I can compromise with Prisoners. It wasn't a bad movie. I didn't understand one part which I thought was important. I actually cowered and covered my eyes during that part. Paul Dano of course excels being weird and creepy. Overall, I didn't enjoy it much. Then we had dinner, at Tim Ho Wan! Didn't know la Gioia was into dim sum. There was a queue, but it wasn't bad for us. Around 10-15 minutes or so. Was surprised that the menu was pretty short and yet we still managed to order too much. Some I love, some not so much. I have to say, the queue forming outside, the speed your food arrive, and the small place kinda pressurize you to just eat quickly and that's not a good ambience for me. Glad that I finally tried it though :)
So that is life so far. Hope your life is much better. Bonne nuit / buonanotte / night night / malam :)
:) eKa @ 9:53:00 PM • 0 comments
Sunday, October 06, 2013
New Doctors, True Love, Movies, and TV
Went to see 2 doctors this week. New doctors, not my usual one :( It started last Sunday when I had sharp pain in my neck and shoulder and my left side felt a bit weird that 4 panadols for pain couldn't quite help. I practically didn't sleep Sunday night because of the pain. By Monday morning, the pain subsided but I was feeling lazy and thought I deserved the break so I went to see the nearest doctor to me. I had to wait for around 1 hour before I finally met the doctor, all along feeling uncomfortable. The nearest doctor is a guy and he was nice. He gave me muscle relaxant and pain killers, but the pain still comes and goes now though to a lot less extend than at the beginning of this week. The experience of having to deal with this new doctor makes me miss my old doctor a lot, but darn in the case when I really need a doctor, I don't think I can make the substantial walk to her :( I had it so easy last time, I only had to take the lift down back then.Monday evening, I started to developed an itch in my throat. I'm not sure how perhaps it could be that guy sitting at the corner in the doctor's waiting room who seemed like he was about to collapse. He obviously had the cold. It was another night when I didn't really sleep because of pain :( Tuesday came, I felt I had to go about my day as usual. It was painful, but I survived it. By Wednesday, the sore throat was improving a bit, but then I started dispensing thick yellowish mucus :( So I decided to end the day early and go see the doctor, the nearest one to me which was different to the Monday doctor. He gave me flu and cough med and some lozenges for the throat. Coincidentally the flu med was the one that I had been taking and I told him it wasn't helping but he said it's the strongest there is :( No antibiotic and it's quite a bummer. I finished the cough med yesterday. No more sore throat but my nose is still pretty much blocked with the thick yellowish mucus, so conclusion is I'm still not well :( I felt pretty down having to visit the doctor twice in a week. The only good thing about it was that it allowed me to kinda sleep and since I often don't sleep, being able to sleep is precious.
On the visit to the second doctor, the lady at the counter was preparing my document or whatnot and asked me if I still weighed the same. I said I was around 55.5 kg ish. Maybe it was her experience or she couldn't believe I'm that light, she asked me to weigh myself in the machine. It turned out, I'm 57.6 kg now. That was disappointing!!! What the hell? How does that happened? I'm like 5 kg heavier than the weight I was in when I first came to Singapore. I feel like I have to lose 5 kg and I don't know how that could be possible. Do I feel fat? Not really but am I fooling myself? My wrists do seem to be not as small as they used to and my arms are big. I met Whiskey some weeks back and I told her to tell me if I'm getting big huge, like 2-persons-in-1-person-body kind. She said she would tell me that when that happens, but for now I think she thinks I'm the same. The thing is, I don't know how I can lose the weight. I don't eat a lot. Most days, I eat 3 meals a day, but I don't snack. So the amount I take in are pretty necessary to help me get through the day. I know I should exercise but I'm too lazy for that, shouldn't my walking suffice? I know it's futile of me complaining of getting heavier without wanting to exercise. It's just, it's very depressing to know how much I have ballooned.
So that's the health story. Now let's go to the movie stories. On Friday I had the opportunity to watch Habibie & Ainun. I was still feeling weak and having to go alone did make me question myself if I really wanted to do it, but since the ex-president of Indonesia, B. J Habibie was going to be there, I thought I should really go. While waiting at the bus stop, I met Margie who was on her way there as well and she was alone too so we kinda paired up. I lost her after the movie was done though, so I went home alone. There was food but since I was still kinda sick and most importantly because I was not super early when I was there, the food was disappearing, so I didn't eat much of the glorious Indonesian food :( As promised Pak Habibie was there and I guess everyone is there for him. As he walked quietly into the hall (there wasn't any announcement), the crowd just started clapping at the sight of him. There were some words to be given. The second one on stage was the chair of the Mayapada Group who is the sponsor for the event. His name is Dato Sri Tahir and with name like that, me and Margie weren't sure he was Indonesian and I did feel super curious since Mayapada seems to be an Indonesian company. After a quick google, I found out he is Indonesian. He spoke about how he admired Pak Habibie a lot and how he saw true love in the way Pak Habibie talked about his wife. After him, it was Pak Habibie's turn on stage. I was surprised I didn't start crying here. He talked about his wife and it's obvious he's really devoted to her. It seemed he fell into depression after the wife died that the doctors who treated him thought one of the possible outcomes of this would be that he would follow his wife and died soon. He decided to follow the doctor's advice to just write, write whatever he's feeling and he said there were many nights he wrote and cried thinking of his wife. Eventually he finished writing and people encouraged him to publish their love story and eventually a movie was made. The movie itself was okay. I'm not sure how true it was to the book. Now I feel a bit of regret that I didn't buy the book which was signed by him which was sold there. Anyway, if there's anything I hate about the movie, it's the product placement which were done shamelessly. I did shed some tears in the movie. The end scene which was concluded with Pak Habibie's voice sharing how he thanks God for the opportunity of having met and having had a life with Ainun was really really touching. He truly believes that she was made for him and he thanks God for that. I don't know if from now until the end of his life, Pak Habibie will do something extraordinary again, but if one of the last thing people remember him about was his way to tell the world how wonderful his wife was, I think it's quite an amazing tribute for his wife :)
On another movie. I went to watch The Hobbit last week. Again it's because of the cheaper imax offer. It's one dollar more expensive though because of the higher frame rate which I don't know if it makes any difference. I felt slightly dizzy after the movie, I think it's because the cinema was smaller that even though I wasn't sitting near the screen, it was still too near. Point taken to choose the back seat in this imax cinema in the future. It was still quite a bargain at 13 bucks. You see there were just 3 people including me in the cinema. It's like a private screening though the couple behind did still manage to annoy me with their whisperings, aarrrghhh!!! Perhaps they too felt that I ruined their private screening by being there. Overall I thought the movie wasn't bad. The scenes were beautiful and it's an adventure so I should have loved this kinda thing, but somehow I'm just not that into it. I think I can wait for the sequel to appear in cheaper imax than to watch it immediately when it comes out. That way, I'll get my private screening at half the price.
Yesterday, I watched Gravity. Stupid me didn't know that sneak preview means no discount. The movie is really distressing for me. Again the possibility of getting lost in space is impossible, but I really felt stressed out with the whole situation. The movie actually centers on Sandra Bullock's character and I think she was amazing. There was one scene that made me think how on earth she was still alive after that and I was thinking don't tell me it's another Hollywood treatment that disregards the law of physics and such, luckily it wasn't the case. I did wonder about the scene in the water though. After being in space for so long, will she has enough strength to swim? The end scene was interesting because it kinda shows how astronauts have to deal with gravity after days of weightlessness.
Let's now talk a bit about tv. The fall tv series began last week. Breaking Bad ended and I was quite okay with the ending :) I then found out that Downton Abbey started. Wow Mary was kinda a bitch again in the first episode, reminded me of how she was in the early episodes of season 1. I guess she was right when she said that, "It's like all my softness are gone as Matthew died". Eventually with the help of grandma (of course) and Tom Branson, she snapped out of it and got out of the black dresses into purple. At least it's a different color. Other story development that I didn't like was that the maid that had her eyes on Tom Branson is back :( and how strange that after 6 months, nothing really progressed downstairs between Alfred, Jimmy, Ivy, and Daisy. Goodness me! Glee also started. First scene in the first episode of this season saw Lea Michelle's character smiling broadly and being all hopeful and my heart just got squeezed a bit :( Next week's episode is gonna be tough. Modern Family has a new opening sequence. Everyone's so grown up. Luke and Manny are in high school, oh my God!!! Phil is still like the ideal husband that I want to have :P Oh yeah, I also didn't know that Homeland has also started. This week was all consumed with Breaking Bad finale or felina as it would call itself. I actually really look forward for Homeland, but episode 1 was a downer for me. The only part which got my heart jump a bit was the first scene when Quinn seemed to be making a bomb, I was like, "say it isn't so!!!". It isn't so. He doesn't seem to be a traitor. Anyway, I'm still looking forward for how Homeland is going to develop. Hopefully things are picking up speed and getting more interesting soon. Other than that, things that I have watched include How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Grey's Anatomy (yes, I still watch it). Local tv is showing the latest season of Survivor but I have a feeling that things get cut a lot because a gay contestant is competing with his fiancee and I don't get why the tv decided to show something if they're going to cut parts of it :( It's always the case here in Singapore. If they're going to cut stuff might as well they choose other programme to show, right? right?!!!
Lastly, I have to admit that sometime I am jealous of people. People who seem to be living the life that I want to have or the dream that I have. This week I am jealous of my brother. I know he deserves what he's getting and perhaps even more. Sigh. Anyway, he kinda make me think of making plan B for next year. We'll see. My life has been rather rough this week. I hope yours is much better. Ciao!
:) eKa @ 1:16:00 PM • 0 comments
bluesky.
photos.
archives.