Not really sure if that is a real word, maybe I should just say sono stanca morta, aarrgghh. Not having my usual Saturday nap, so the head is really rather heavy now. I guess I just had such a difficult day physically yesterday. Was having a rather heavy flu in the morning. Any other day, I would have taken myself straight back to bed but I had things to clear and so I stayed on. Drank panadol cold (I think it was left over from Vinny), and perhaps my breakfast wasn't substantial enough that the tummy felt really weird afterwards and I had difficulty keeping lunch down. I managed to do a few stuffs and still met Vivy for dinner to pass her some things. Went home rather late, and I stayed up until quite late as well.

Had difficulty waking up this morning that I was pretty late for class. I guess everyone was having a difficult morning. I arrived a few seconds after Q and she was the first one to arrive actually, at around 20 minutes late. She forgot her wallet today. Rae was later than us. Then A.Nobre dragged his sick body in. Everyone were pretty much trying hard to just get through the class. I really miss bigger class. Smaller class just lack the enthusiasm. But I told A.Nobre that I'll continue if they need the number, because actually I don't feel like continuing next term.

Anyway, did have kiwi today as instructed by MarChe yesterday. It was sweet and I really liked it. In fact my carrot tomato juice today also tasted supreme. The carrots were good, they were sweet. Met up with Vivy and Aron for lunch to discuss our financial situation. Very heavy lunch, kinda very bad for the heart. At least they were pretty good though. We had padang food today and I do need my Indonesian food. Currently I feel, the easiest way to comfort me is to give me some nice Indonesian food.

On other news, Rista apparently is not gonna be able to transit here for a long time, she couldn't get the flight. So sadly I wouldn't be able to meet her. However, my good friend, Emilia, will be in town next week with the future in laws. I hope I can see her. The last time she was here, I had fever. If I had known that these people are able to make it in town at this period, I would pitch to watch the F1 races. Oh well ...

Been trying to sort out my life and try a few things. I've been letting my life to go on as is without driving it. I let it run itself and then I wonder and complain miserably why things do not go as I want it to be. So I am making small steps. Apparently small steps need me to walk more outside my comfort zone. Not really what I am hoping for or actually want for that matter but I just feel I have to see what the other options are. On that note, I've also been making an effort to pray to God, actual effort. Seriously I haven't been really making any effort at all all these times, so now I try to make that time to say my prayer and what I want clearly. All are baby steps. I don't even know if I can keep it up but who knows, things may change, I may change and perhaps I wouldn't be so sad anymore and people will be less worried of me.

I'm biting my tongue on things that I feel like saying (writing) out loud *sigh*

:) eKa @ 6:50:00 PM •


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