"What I want is not what I should want", said Eka

Had the afternoon off today. Been looking forward to it for a long long time. Been feeling very bored, uninspired, and so want to get out of the merda hole. I suppose it's the usual same old whining. Too bad today's solitary has to be over. Hopefully I won't be rude again tomorrow. I just got agitated this morning and ended up becoming quite vicious. I have issues, I have things that come and haunt me and stir my inside, giving me questions and bringing back memories. All that I tried to ignore and shut away, but they're in everything, in everywhere that I am. It doesn't help when you are bored because an unoccupied mind is such an easy target. I guess I have to deal with some of the issues and on others I just really have to bury them deep. The past is indeed really in the past, a past that is so long ago. No such things will happen again (or so it seems) and I should just stop doing what I just did, putting "or so it seems" inside a bracket.

Anyways, so yeah, I used the afternoon to do some stuff. I can't say I accomplished much. Obviously I used the afternoon to watch something. After fussing if I should watch something lighter, I ended up sticking to my original choice, The Hunting Party. The background of the movie based on the synopsis I read was the war in Bosnia, so I was kinda wondering if I would get bored. It turned out to be quite a nice surprise. Entertaining simply because of the witty lines and the good actors, like Richard Gere and Terrence Howard, whom I found did really really well. The story felt so unbelievably unbelievable at times, but the movie was actually based on a real life event, though it seems that the similarity is just a teeny weeny bit. It's really a nice movie, too bad it didn't get much publication and so not many people know about it. I do recommend this to you especially if you get annoyed with the brainless movies showing currently. The Hunting Party is not the least bit boring, it's very interesting, and the ending was quite happy one for me, so overall it's quite a good watch.

Actually if I have my way, I would have liked to watch The Band's Visit which is showing today as one of the movies for the Israel Film Festival. Unfortunately it doesn't really have much showing and it's booked out from like 2 weeks ago. So that's a real disappointment for me. I've been wanting to watch this, since perhaps last year when I first saw the trailer back home. Maybe I should get some help in getting this movie. Anyway, the Israel Film Festival seems to have quite a number of interesting movies, like its main movie Noodle. However no such luck if you are thinking to watch it because it's all sold out and yes from around 2 weeks ago *sigh* I think they are only showing the movies at the Picture House. I feel they should have made it more available for commoners to go and watch it. I just feel that with the little showing, the people who watch it are perhaps people from the embassy or the Israel society here or the Singapore Film Society. It's not really inviting for the normal ordinary people.

Kinda don't feel so good right now. Do want to get a mild sickness so that I can stay at home. Yes, I know that's a really bad thing to say, especially in the light of la Gioia being hospitalized for appendicitis and she's still there, and it's almost a week now. Poor her, she couldn't eat and that's kinda worrying. I do feel thankful that whenever I got sick, I have never gotten so bad that I needed to be hospitalized. I just couldn't imagine going through that here alone, without my family. Went to see her with RH on Saturday. I couldn't help thinking that months ago, it was me and la Gioia who visited RH in the same hospital. The illogical and superstitious me was wondering if my turn would come. KNOCK ON WOOD! KNOCK ON WOOD! I couldn't let that happen. So I guess peeps, I just want to tell all of you, to say a little prayer and take care of your health, okay.

:) eKa @ 8:27:00 PM •

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