Monday, August 21, 2023
I got my JLPT N2 result today. Yes, I did finally do the JLPT N2 last month in July. I didn't write about it at that time because I felt quite demoralized after the exam. If you have been reading, you may have heard me mentioning this last year. JLPT stands for Japanese-Language Proficiency Test. There are 5 levels in total. N1 is the most difficult and N5 is like beginner level. I have never taken any of this exam before. When I was ending my japanese class early last year, my sensei told me I should take N2 and I was like that's hard and I think she was overestimating my ability. Most of my classmates at that time had done it and passed and a few were even preparing for N1. I was confident I could pass N3, not perfectly but perhaps without much studying, and knowing that and what my sensei told me kinda then made me think maybe I should try for the more challenging N2 and that became the plan. They only conduct the exam twice a year and I planned on doing it last year, but I just couldn't. I didn't know that registration filled fast so last July I couldn't even apply because it was all filled in maybe like 3 hours or so. Then I wasn't available for the December one. So this year, I was sure to be ready by 9 AM to apply for the July exam.
Being the Indonesian that I am, I prepared for the exam by doing past year papers. Well I think those are past year papers that I did. I had to trawl the internet for them. If anyone reading this and want them and couldn't find them online, email me. I collected the N2 and N3 ones. The JLPT website itself has an example paper, but only 1. Since I was delayed and couldn't do the exam last year, I ended up spending many weekends last year doing the N3 exams. I thought that would be useful to build stronger foundation. I only did the N2 exams regularly every weekend this year after Chinese new year. The first time I attempted the sample paper from the JLPT website, I couldn't even finish within time, so that was scary. It's like you're not ready for this, this is not for you :( Luckily by the next attempt or the next one, I could finish within time but that doesn't mean that I manage to have a thorough read of everything. It also involved not reading even the full sentences of the first 2 parts of the vocabulary part which was about converting Kanji to Hiragana and vice versa. I sometime did need to read the sentence on converting Hiragana to Kanji because sometime I need the context. All and all I did 24 exams every Saturday and some public holidays since I came back from Chinese new year break. The only week I skipped was when I went on vacation, but then I did 2 exams the week I came back. It was quite an effort because I had to remember to wake up early on Saturday so that I could have enough time to do the exam. Then I had to check the answers and being that I am weak in Kanji, I had to check all the words and then sometime I needed to translate the sentences. I was burning not only Saturdays but Sundays too. The less I did on Saturday, the more I ended up losing Sunday :( The Kanji part was the one that I was scared the most because I feel that is my weakest part and if you don't know the word, how are you supposed to understand the passages. I kept an excel file of all the raw score (correct questions / total question) that I did. Surprisingly I felt like I did the best in the reading part except for that one week when I scored so low at 30%. I was so shaken at that time. It was like shit got real, I haven't gotten this. I was getting like 70 - 76% the weeks before and to score that low was seriously I was shooketh. It was the week when I was quite sick, so I thought maybe it's my brain not having the stamina to work, but as I was going through the questions and answers, it was still quite confusing. Seriously there were many moments when I went for lunch after doing the past papers, where I was just like in a daze, like I've been hit by a tornado. I couldn't see if I was improving because it's up and down. Sometime it seemed I was doing better on the vocabulary but the next week I took a dip. Inconsistent result like that really made feel I'm not at that level. Surprisingly, despite me being scared by the Kanji, it seemed I was the most weak on the grammar. My average raw score which I rounded down after all the exam papers that I did was 60.76% for vocabulary, 56.68% for grammar, 60.6% for reading, and 60.4% for listening. I think if your average is at 70% then you can be quite confident in passing and as you can see I was not :( Aside for the past year papers, I did buy one book, Pattern-Betsu Tettei Drill. It has questions on all the components. Since I am weak at the vocabulary and Kanji, the more words I can absorp is of course the better. The grammar part was kinda easy. The listening part was a mix, but normally the problem with this is your own concentration. The reading part has some confusing passages; I should have taken the hint that I needed to be more careful with that. Then I managed to borrow Sou Matome N2 Kanji and TRY N2 from the library. I actually had the PDF of TRY N2, but it's really better to have a physical book. I finished all the books but up to the last week, I thought I was still shaky.
The JLPT itself has a really unclear marking scheme. There are 3 components: vocabulary + grammar, reading, listening. All are multiple choice questions and there's no oral component, you don't even have to write answers which is a huge relief for me because again my kanji is so bad, I will not survive it if I have to write the answers. The no oral part is also quite a relief though it is weird that there's no oral part in a language exam. One may argue just because you pass the exams, it doesn't mean you can speak Japanese well, it just mean you can pass an exam and that is so true. Each of these components have a maximum score of 60 and you need to score at least 19 points to clear the component, without which you would fail. Then as a total, you have to score 90 in N2 to pass. The thing that is a mystery and something that I am really curious about is JLPT uses Item Response Theory to mark the exam. Each of the components has less than 60 questions so by logic some questions worth more points but we don't know which ones and logically your final score should generally end up higher than the raw score if some question has higher points, but this Item Response Theory explanation in JLPT website mentions answering patterns - Scaled scores are determined mathematically based on "answering patterns" of how examinees answer particular questions (correctly or incorrectly). So what does it mean? It's really unclear. The way I imagine it, they have some models that see if an examinee is able to answer for example a group of questions A, then they should be able to answer another group of questions B. If they couldn't answer the group A questions but successfully answer some of the group B questions, they may get less points because the model might think it's a lucky guess. I am really really curious to know how it works, especially because I couldn't find any other exams that mention this. Searching the internet, there's one website that list out the points that they think are attached to each question, but there's also a YouTuber who said don't believe that because JLPT has said it looks at answering patterns. If it's as I thought it is, I would be interested to know how the model is made.
The exam was on a Sunday in Singapore Management University (SMU). I was curious about getting in because I know being right smack in the city without really an enclosed compound, you would need to tap in to get in the campus. So apparently they had staff who facilitated our entries and there were many of us. I was still wearing mask at that time. In fact I was still quite cautious in wearing mask up to JLPT because I didn't want to get sick and I only let go of the mask after JLPT. They didn't ask me to remove my mask though when I did the exam, so that's weird. I was very scared of everything that I prayed for everything and prepared for everything like having 3 pencils at the ready. Then I saw the guy in front of me and he had like 5 sharpened pencils :D Unfortunately for me, the guy to my right kinda made a sound when he read so that's kinda annoying and I just had to tell myself to focus. The guy on my left didn't come so that's 100 over SGD gone. As I looked at the answer sheet, I realized that the total questions for the vocabulary + grammar and reading was less than what I thought it was going to be. Kinda glad upon finding that out but still when the proctor said 5 minutes left, I said fuck. I wonder if there are people who are good enough that they have enough time to review their answers. I always barely made it. The vocabulary part was actually easier than expected, though for sure I made mistakes but it didn't fill me with dread. Then it's the grammar part where I guess it's where I began to go downhill. There's a section where we're supposed to arrange 4 words into the correct sequence and I think I may have gotten all the questions in that section wrong :( Still I was still calm because we know the grammar part is where we're weak. Then it's the reading part where I went in with confidence. If there's any strategy to me doing the exam is that I did the last 2 questions of the reading first. The internet seems to agree the last 2 questions which are information retrieval questions carry bigger points. Generally you have to read a notice or flyer or announcement and answer 2 questions which could be quite easy, so easy you begin to doubt yourself sometime. The thing is sometime you're running out of time so you may miss crucial notes or disclaimer so that's why I chose to do it first. After that I went back to do the reading questions from the beginning and it's just going downhill. The passages were unclear, the options were unclear. There's a lot of nuances in N2 exam, I figure it'll be more in N1 and that's when mentally for me I started to perhaps feel down :( I remember praying after each time I circled my answer telling God I'm really not sure, please let this be correct God. Then it's a 20-min break before listening. Going to the listening part, I was mentally down so I just wasn't sure about anything. At one point I saw my answers and I seemed to be selecting the same option in a row, that can't be right, so I became even more demoralized :(
Finishing the exam, I was quite relieved I did it alone because I saw people discussing answers with their friends and I was like I just needed to get out fast. It wasn't quite fast though because I was confused about where my bus stop was :( I had like plan on what to do after exam that I was going to enjoy myself because it's finally over but since I felt I did so badly, any enjoyment seems unearned :( The next day or maybe the day after or maybe even that evening I saw answers being posted in the Internet by people and I did worse than what I thought I did on the reading. For the passages comparison part which had 2 questions, I only got one correct and I was actually quite sure of my answers :( So now it became even scarier than I may not even meet the required score for the reading part :'( I tortured myself by looking and not looking at the answers. Again we do not know how the scoring goes but if following from the website that shows the predicted mark in each question, I may pass the reading section, barely, maybe. So now it's a matter of making the required total and over here I was kinda in disbelief that I had never thought about how each of the component should contribute to pass comfortably. Now I ended up banking at the vocabulary + grammar component to be the best and I was worried about the reading and listening. I became insecure that I may not meet the required score for listening too :( Everyday I prayed so that I passed each component and I pass the required 90 points for the total - please God, don't let it be 87, 88, or 89, or maybe even worse like I only get 70 something. The thing is if I didn't pass, I would have to do it again and I did contemplate if I should apply for the December one. The thing about the Singapore organization that handles registration, for some freaking reason they open registration before result is out and registration for N2 was already done last week. When I told mom this, she was like you don't even know the result yet. Yeah, she's right so I didn't apply. Then I was also thinking about how I should prepare if I should do the exam again. I couldn't possibly do the same past year papers because I would still remember some of the answers and I don't have anymore past year or exercise papers. Then thinking about all the weekends, geez it was too much. It really made me symphatize now with my classmates who last time did normal class and preparatory class on the same day. No wonder they often didn't do the homework in normal class and didn't write essays. It's a lot and it's the weekends you're burning all those months. Putting myself through that again, oh God :| Then I also asked myself, why am I doing this, I don't need the certificate, and the only answer I could think of is that it's akin to trying to pass a level in a game. It's a challenge which somehow my brain cannot let go and need to conquer. You may think I need to get a life, perhaps you're right.
So today's result day. It's out by 09:00 AM Singapore time. Felt like I waited a long time for this but I was too scared to see it. My heart was racing and my stomach got all twisty. I decided to see it before lunch just so I could have time to process failure. By the way it's one of the reason why I didn't write earlier about me doing JLPT because if I had written I did it, I don't know if I could have been open and written again about failing. I said a prayer before I went to the site, asking God to help me be alright if I were to fail. I got in and lo and behold, I saw I got 105. Told myself, that means I passed right and only after I saw the word passed, I was calmer :D Oh God, praise be to God!
The vocabulary + grammar section was lower than expected so praise be to God that the listening part was good, way much better than expected that I don't even understand how that happened. A for vocabulary was perhaps not surprising because I happened to know a number of the words in the questions and I did feel like I was cruising through. B for grammar was unexpected, so maybe I wasn't so bad. Higher score for reading than expected, but I still feel disappointed because truly during my exercises I did much better so I feel unsatisfied :( In total, I didn't even reach 60% of the total score but I guess a win is a win right? I am very relieved, very happy. Today is like a good day and to celebrate I got myself a lemon mille crêpe cake :D So what's next, though I felt bad after the exam I did do an N1 sample test paper which I printed before the exam and told myself to try. I tried, but no I don't think I can do it. I could finish within time, but the results shows it would be such an uphill battle. My raw score is 60% for vocabulary, 35% for grammar, 68% for reading, and 45% for listening. See, I did not do so bad for the reading. It is very difficult, I do not understand many of the sentences and the passages. The reason why the vocabulary and reading is not so bad I guess it's because my guesses became more educated, but the grammar is atrocious. Almost as if I have never seen those grammar forms before though I'm sure my sensei have taught us those. Anyways, leaving at N2 means being at the same level as with DELF B2 and CELI 3. I passed the exams, but I don't speak all those languages well and I still need subtitles when watching things in all of them.
So what's next is I don't know. I know I won't be learning any new language because I just don't think my brain has enough space for it all. Then financially, I kinda have a much less amount that I can spend now so even previous plan of learning other things are just something that I don't consider now. The plan for now is perhaps just watching something in Italian or French or Japanese every weekend to somehow keep the languages circulating in my brain. I didn't watch any Japanese things to prepare for the listening part of the exam because I didn't have any more time, it's kinda funny I started to do so now. I recently finished watching Giri / Haji which I really really really love. Then I also watched Le Otto Montagne / The Eight Mountains which I kinda love even though the story is not that happy. I think the movie is calming, seeing the mountains and the nice soundtrack. There's no french movie yet to recommend from the ones I managed to watch. Okay it's been one hell of a long post right. I've just been holding this for a long time, it's been months. Good God, it really feels like a miracle - 私はとてもうれしいです。
:) eKa @ 10:13:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, July 22, 2023
I finished reading Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. This is an odd one. I actually watched Pachinko the TV series first before I read the book. I don't recall I have done this for any other book because usually after I watched something that's based on a book, I don't end up reading the original work. On the other hand, if something is adapted from a book that I've read, I'll be sure to watch it. Pachinko the TV series was just so good that I decided to read it. Pachinko tells the story of Koreans during Japanese occupation. Its main character is Sunja, a girl who grew up poor in a fishing village in Korea. Well at that time, everyone was poor. One day a handsome rich Korean man, Hansu, arrived at the fishing village and he took an interest at her and she was interested and then she was impregnated by him, but Hansu actually had a Japanese wife in Japan so he could only make Sunja his mistress. Upon finding this out, Sunja wasn't having it and decided to break off with Hansu. Sunja and her mom had a small inn and one day a sickly Korean christian minister, Isak, arrived. He was so sick, but Sunja's mom and Sunja and 2 other workers in the inn managed to nourish him back to health. When Isak found out what happened to Sunja, he offered to marry her to preserve her dignity, but they will have to go to Japan where Isak was actually on the way to be reunited with his brother. Sunja and her mom agreed, all the while knowing that she and her mom might be separated forever. The book tells these stories up to the lives of Sunja's sons and grandson. While Sunja lives are mostly filled with hardships in relation to lives under Japanese occupation and war, his grandson's story are mostly filled with reconciling with who he was or who he wanted to be. He's a Korean who's born and lived his whole life in Japan and yet the Japanese still saw him as other, not one of them. This reminded me one time during Japanese class when the sensei told us about the concept of uchi and soto, which is basically who's in your inner circle and who's outside. The Koreans in Japan no matter how long they've been there were still seen as outsiders and that's hard to accept. I don't know if it's better now. The grandson also felt he wasn't that fully acknowledged as Korean too when he travelled to Korea because the Koreans there saw him more as Japanese. It can be hard when you're not fully sure where you're belong because of the need to anchor yourself, but some people may argue why the need for that? Who cares if people see you as other right? It's a struggle that his uncle also dealt with.
Anyways, I forget where season 1 of the TV series ended. There's a scene in the TV series that really tugged at my heartstring. During the Japanese occupation, most of the things that the Koreans produced were first and foremost had to be given to the Japanese, so at that time no Korean in Korea could eat rice for example. After Sunja's marriage ceremony and before she was to leave for Japan, her mother wanted to give something good for her as the last thing she could do for her. The way this was depicted in the book was nothing special, but the way it was depicted in the TV series took it to another level. Sunja's mom managed to beg a rice seller to sell a little bit of rice to her. The seller had to do this secretly because otherwise he would get in trouble with the Japanese. The scene that made me cry was when Sunja's mom carefully washed the rice and and cooked the rice :'( I never grew up hungry, rice is always available, but maybe it was the stories from my parents when they're telling us poor people back in the days, maybe their days, couldn't even eat rice that floated to me, that seeing that scene, it really got me. I thought it was the most beautiful scene in the series and comparing it with the book, I am glad they did this, though I think many people may not get the significance of why this was so touching. Then when Sunja arrived in Japan and her kind sister in law served her rice on the first day like it's not a big deal - just like Sunja I cried again.
The book and the TV series have stark differences on some parts which I'm not sure if I like the changes made in the TV series. Hansu got a an episode in the TV series exploring his background, which I thought was good when I watched it, but I come to dislike Hansu a lot reading the book. For someone who had so much power and influence during the war, I thought he perhaps could have done more when Isak was imprisoned. None of the characters questioned this though perhaps they were already feeling indebted when he pretty much saved them during the war. I dislike Hansu so much that I didn't enjoy having him appear more and more. It made me think if the tragedy that happened with his and Sunja's son was a just punishment for him, but it was too sad and it's too heartbreaking for Sunja and I would rather it didn't happen. In the book that I had, one page was hopeful but as I turned to the next page and in just a few lines the tragedy was told, I gasped and had to drop my head and silently screamed whhyyy?!?! Sunja's life really wasn't easy but she and like many others in her era survived and no matter the hardship they rose again and again. Pachinko is really good. I questioned some of the short stories about some of the characters who I thought weren't that necessary to be elaborated. Instead I would rather know more about people like Uncle Yoseb, Aunt Kyunghee, Sunja's mom, what they thought about the events that had befallen the family. I was also curious about when Uncle Yoseb died, was it before or after certain event, and how much did Sunja's other son knew about his brother. All and all I truly enjoyed being immersed in this rich story and I am looking forward to Pachinko season 2 and I wonder how they're going to move forward with all the changes that they made in the TV series.
Alright what else, I guess I want to say how I love The Bear. Finally had time to watch season 2 and it was so so good. I cannot fault any of the episode, I like every single one of them. I want to say it's perhaps not as heavy as season 1 but there were many heavy moments and it ended in an implosion if I can say that. Sometime you think these people just need to say what they're really feeling, their fear and anxiety, put in on the table and move forward from there, but I guess it's not that easy. Even Richie who said I love you in the last episode was like not heard when he said it over and over. By the way, the guy who played Richie, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, like Adam Driver I first saw him in Girls. It often makes me feel good seeing actors in a different role and doing so well in it and he was so good as Richie. In his episode when he said, you want me to fork, I'll fork, you can't help but chuckle. Anyways, yeah The Bear is really really good, 2 seasons in a row filled with brilliance :)
:) eKa @ 11:45:00 AM • 0 comments
Monday, June 05, 2023
Bolo Bun Breakfast with an Old Friend
We're entering June, gosh how time flies. It's really annoying for me that in the past 3 - 4 months, I have been plagued with cold and flu 3 times and it's really dragging me down. I had 4 shots of COVID vaccine and just 2.5 weeks ago I had a flu vaccine and yet I'm down again with flu, aargghhh!!! I haven't been having cold or flu for many years before and to have this many in such short time is just ... well my body is tired, I'm tired :( The long weekend which we just had which I was so excited about turned to be quite a waste because I just felt horrible throughout. I'm still feeling horrible now, but I have to get on with life :( I don't know what's going on with me. I don't think I have enough rest, but I just have things to do and I cannot be sick anymore, at least for the next 1.5 months :( It's also one reason why I choose to write now because I will not have time for the rest of the month.
I did do one thing this past long weekend. My good friend, Dewi and her family, were in town and we arranged to meet for breakfast Saturday morning. I debated myself if it's right to go, because it's irresponsible considering I wasn't well, but then she re-scheduled to 10 AM instead of 9 AM and when I woke up that day, I seemed to be able to move about so I decided to go. I'm really hoping I didn't infect them all with whatever I was having. Anyways, she wanted to try Champion Bolo. I was like, what's that!?! Googled it and found the place and I was like okay. She said there would be a queue so she wanted to be early. I was like, that area is dead on weekend, very few humans. She was right though. On the day they reached about 25 minutes before me and they told me there's a long queue and I was like who were these people!?!? Were they tourists? When I arrived, I was stunned at the many people waiting. Most of everyone in the queue were Indonesians. I was like, what the ... how did all of you manage to find this place. I myself was a bit lost on my way there. Anyways, because they were earlier, they managed to find a table upstairs and by the time I arrived, we're already quite near to the cashier. I think the second floor could fit maybe 30 people or so and it was full and I think maybe only 5-6 people were not Indonesians at that time. I was dead amazed at all of the Indonesians there. The bolo bun was made to order, so we had to wait like 20 mins or so and it's kinda nice to just catch up with Dewi and seeing her 2 sons and seeing them parent :D I have to admit that the bolo bun was nice, I could have eaten two, but I think they're pricey especially if you add drinks, but everything in Singapore is expensive :( and I think standing in a long queue for food is rather silly, so yeah no, I wouldn't go out my way to eat it again.
We left at around 11 AM something which at that point, the queue had subsided somewhat. I commented that wow the Indonesians that morning were ... here I stopped myself from saying kiasu and instead used the word semangat 45. Thinking about it further, it's really a better way to described the eager Indonesians because unlike kiasu which means you don't want to lose and pretty much want to get all, semangat 45 sounds funnier and better. The 45 refers to 1945 which was when Indonesia declared independence and Google translates semangat as spirit, zeal, vigor, gusto, etc. So it refers to the kind of fiery spirit that brought about Indonesia's independence. We use this term, semangat 45, to fire us up when want to attempt something and so yeah I think it's funny when it's applied to this case of trying a bun which was promoted by some influencers on social media. Those influencers do work in Indonesia, I guess. Another thought I had was I often feel that many Singaporeans do not think much of us Indonesians, some may even think we live in some backwater country, but darn it Singapore is actually better with all these Indonesians tourists. These are the people who splurge and would make an effort to haunt these kinda places. Anyways, it's really nice to meet and talk to an old friend and I am thankful that I do have friends as old as this. There's an ease you have talking about your stupidity and it's just comforting.
:) eKa @ 8:49:00 PM • 0 comments
Friday, May 12, 2023
I drafted this early this week about my personal realization that I noted down during the trip, but decided not to post it then because one my of aunts passed away *sigh* The last time I saw her was Chinese New Year this year and she was already looking frail then. As I was thinking about this aunt and her husband who departed earlier, I think they're actually kinda my first adventure. They lived far from me (though still in Jakarta) and when I was young and they didn't have any kid yet, there were times where I stayed over with them during school vacation. I think it was partly for me to just try out new things and them to practice taking care a kid. I couldn't remember much about my time there, aside for them being really nice to me, asking what I want and such. The few things I remember are there was a time when my uncle took me to the cinema and my aunt sew some clothes for a doll for me to play with. Overall I was okay about spending time with them that I did that for a few times until I stopped because I started to cry. I don't know why I started to cry and it's to the confusion of everyone too. Looking back at it now, I think even as a young kid I already had that kind of sudden anxiety overwhelming me and as a kid, all I could do is just to cry. I couldn't explain it well then and even now the words are just not adequate either. It's just fear and anxiety that come as they please. I can't say I cope better now. The only improvement is I guess I don't cry now. When more and more people from your childhood die, it gets really scary and that's another source of anxiety for me when I think of it. I'm hesitating about writing all that's been running in my head about her death, so maybe I should just not and get on to talking about some things that came to my head during the Iceland trip.
I was watching The View one time and Billy Porter was on it and he said God has bigger dream for you than you have for yourself and as I embarked on this Iceland trip, I thought that is so true. I can't say with all conviction it is the case for all aspects of my life because I am losing faith on many parts, but the part where God took me to places, well He really has taken me beyond than what I set for myself, beyond what I thought was possible. I wrote this in my diary as well. When I began to step my toes into the world, there were just 2 things that I wanted and thought I could do. One was to go to Italy and after that the thing that became first on the list was to see Sagrada Família. I did those within two years of each other and each year after that bar the time during COVID, I had been fortunate enough to go somewhere new. It really blew my mind thinking about it. In the past I knew people who had gone to Iceland and I thought it was so cool, but I didn't think it was something that I would get to do because just like what Chris Rock said in his special, I identify as poor :D For me, it means some things, expensive things, are not meant for me, even when financially I could. That dream of travelling to many places is one of those things that I think is far within my reach, but then just like that I found myself going to Iceland and looking at all the other places I've been, like Kenya last year - well, how did all these happen? It really blows my mind. It's like I'm just putting one foot after the other and God is like, okay child, let's go. I really couldn't have done it without Him, truly.
That doesn't mean I didn't have the fear and anxiety. I had all the fears with the full consciousness of knowing how stupid all my anxiety were, but they just kept coming like the waves. So I told myself since you're being an idiot feeling all of this, go ahead then, sit with the fear and there were many nights where my mind raced with all the anxiety and it's the same fears I had in all of my trips, exactly the same things. I told myself, you freaking went to Kenya on your own last year and you're having all this fear again which is like nothing compared to going to Kenya on your own, so what the hell?!?! But there they were haunting me and though I felt annoyed for feeling all that I felt, they just couldn't stop trashing around in my head *sigh* So I just took the tortures and suffered :( I wish I could control my thoughts than having them paralyze me, but I am still failing at this.
When the time to go came, as usual I just had to go. Usually on the taxi ride to Changi, I started to just let go and come what may, but this time around, I don't know maybe it's the thought of being in a long flight in economy seat that got me questioning why I was doing this and it's a shame really because for God sake, you're going to Iceland!!! It's gonna be awesome. I think for this trip specifically, the anxiety started to dissipate when I passed through immigration in Finland and made my way to the train station. It's like there's no longer time for anxiety, because I just needed to go, time to move, execute the plan, put into practice what I had been studying for. So it was really quite joyous when I made it to Sibelius park. The falling snow also made it more special though it was cold.
I would like to acknowledge the 2 Indonesian girls' blog that I happened to stumbled into when I tried to find as much information as possible. By the way, I would just like to say sometimes it gets kinda annoying for me those influencers or people trying to monetize their travels because their blogs usually follow the same structure with the same table of content so it's nice to find people who just write without that objective in mind. I also like to hear what other Indonesians did on their trips. So these 2 Indonesian girls also went to Iceland solo and I think they're much younger than me and it's always inspiring when girls are being brave. One of them cited Taylor Swift's song, 22, as her inspiration to do the trip alone. Both of them went to the Blue Lagoon and that kinda made me think I could be that confident too. Alas I didn't go, but for other reason. The other girl was even more awesome. She went snorkelling in Silfra. This was featured in The Amazing Race and I do think it's very very cool, but I can't swim so that's out for me. Anyway this girl, a funny thing happened to her. To dive in Silfra you have to wear the wet suit provided. Apparently after wearing it, it's hard to move, like there's not much flexibility that she had to ask the guide who's a guy to help her tie her hair :D It's funny, but yeah just be confident and cool about it. I am in awe of them and reading their stories kinda encourage me that this can be done and it's gonna be alright. That's how much anxiety I have. I have travelled to many places on my own, but I still have that much insecurity. I think it's such a shame that as I get older, I get more scared. I think the 20 something me or perhaps the 17-year old me would have had more confidence or could hype myself better. Anyways you never know who's gonna read what you write. I don't think many people read my blog, but if anyone finds it useful then I'm glad.
Thinking about all my anxiety, a thought came to me that it's like the more I do this or the more I get older, the more I see more ways for things to go wrong and that sucks because it keeps on adding to my list of worry when I travel. It's the littlest thing sometime that gets me to, oooh you didn't study for that one. Like for example in Finland when I suddenly realized I might be standing on the wrong side in the escalator. My fellow Indonesians who live in Indonesia will be like, is there a correct side to stand on the escalator? In Indonesia, people use the escalator because they do not want to walk so stand any side you like - like isn't the purpose of the escalator so that you don't have to walk? :D Well here in Singapore you stand on the left and leave the right side for people who want to walk. Now, previously I had made a mental note to watch where people stand first when in a foreign country, but I forgot to do that in Helsinki and it suddenly dawned on me, am I standing on the wrong side?!? Things like that, small and inconsequential as they are, it still managed to rile me up, like oh you haven't got everything covered.
The last thing that I want to write here is about how I am maybe dead inside. It's because I wasn't blown away much in this trip. If I have to be less harsh on myself, I would say that I have been fortunate enough to see many wonderful things that it perhaps takes more to amuse me and also I tend to not be impressed much with waterfalls and I saw many of them in this trip. However the other part of me is pretty convinced that I am somewhat damaged on the inside. It does bother me that I don't get excited much because that's ingratitude and also I think when you start not feeling much to the point you don't see the point to make an effort of just taking one step in front of the other, that is extremely scary. Right now I have been to more places that I have ever imagined I would be and I no longer have a list of places I really really want to go. Don't get me wrong, I do still think there are many interesting places to see but it feels like the anxiety mountain that I have to battle when travelling alone is getting higher and higher and it's really a battle. I haven't even opened up to you about the other bad things running in my head, thinking about life and such. It's a lot, but I do think I have to just go because as I said, when you start to lose that interest to even move, it's scary. I also cannot deny the fact that when I travel alone, I only have me to think of. I don't have to solve problems for anyone but my own and it feels good. The lyric from Van Morisson's song, Days Like This, which was in my playlist feels so apt - when you don't need to worry there'll be days like this, when no one's in a hurry there'll be days like this. At the end of it, it always feels good ending a trip that I did alone because it really feels like a sense of accomplishment. It might be worrying that it gives me more feeling than the wonderful things I saw but it's just what it's like with me.
Okay, gonna end this with something that happened this week that made me like, what?!? Are you for real??! So I was watching Ted Lasso and I tweeted something about it. Yes I still tweet, it's the only social media that I use and I use it to say things to the world that really is unnecessary to be said. I don't use Twitter to follow people to see what they say or to retweet. I do sometime search what people say in Twitter about TV series that I watch because it can be quite fun reading all the reactions :D So basically I use twitter to tweet what I want to say then I'm out, but that evening I happened to go in again and in my notification I saw this.
I was like, is that really Jason Sudeikis??!? What?!? I then furiously googled to know if it's really him and it seemed like it is him. You really never know who would read what you write :D You know how sometime you project the character that the actor played into the actor; somehow for me I can really separate Ted Lasso and Jason Sudeikis. They're really separate entities for me. The only thing that kinda mashed up a bit for me is the part where Ted Lasso is struggling with his separation with his wife; I wonder if that's close to what Jason Sudeikis was feeling when all that mess with Olivia Wilde happened. Speaking of celebrity drama, I really miss Wendy Williams. Okay, I digress way too much. As usual, may your days be glorious. Ciao.
:) eKa @ 9:09:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, May 04, 2023
sunset doesn't last all evening
a mind can blow those clouds away
after all this, my love is up and must be leaving
All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
I first heard of that song when watching The Beatles: Get Back documentary series. George Harrison was playing part of the song and no one thought much of it, it was like in a passing, and I was like wait hold on, it's a really good song. I was glad when I found out later that he did record the song. After watching that series, I think my favorite Beatles is George Harrison :) Anyways, this is the last post about the trip. My flight out of Iceland was in the morning, so I had to wake up early to pack my stuff. My pick-up to the airport was at 06:00 AM so I left the hotel a few minutes before that to walk to the bus stop. I remember thinking that while it's cold, it's surprisingly not that cold that morning so maybe Iceland had started to warm up for the spring and summer. By the way, next to the hotel there's a pharmacy and even though it's closed for the day, it's always brightly lit inside which I found to be strange, but one of the guide did tell me that electricity is cheap in Iceland. It's one of the things that's not affected by inflation. It's because their electricty is mostly generated by geothermal energy and it's renewable. It's very interesting how life can be the same everywhere you go and at the same time can be completely different too. I grew up with parents and family members who'll be like, why are you switching all the lights or why you never turn off this and that or you all use too much electricity - now imagine being in a place where such notion never occurs :D Back to the trip - the ride to to the airport was uneventful. The bus driver to the airport did ask to show ticket but he didn't really check. I guess the check came from the person picking you from your stop to the bus station, because he's the one with the list of people. The bus driver did refuse to start driving when he saw one passenger refusing to put on seat belt due to some issue, a stand-off ensued, but luckily the passenger in the end relented. At the airport, there was practically no queue when I dropped off my luggage but there was quite a queue for security check. My flight to Helsinki this time was on Finnair. Like Icelandair there's no free meal but unlike Icelandair where each seat has its own entertainment system, Finnair has none of those, sigh. I spent the flight listening to my own music and looking out of the window. Iceland was mostly white all over from the sky.
Arriving back in Helsinki, I pretty much knew my way around. That sense of lightness when you can just get off a plane and walk out of an airport without having to bother about luggage or what have you is just so wonderful :D It's only on a few occassions I got to do this and I really like it. First order of business was to get some water but then I was quite hungry, so I then decided to sit down and have salmon soup. The serving was big and not bad, but halfway through it I thought it was really salty. I wonder if the people in this part of the world just have a saltier taste? Because I noticed the same in Iceland. I managed to finish the soup and then it's off to the train station to get my ticket. Looking out of the train window, it was a blue sky day but snow was still on the ground. The plan for that day was to visit Suomenlinna which is this small island or what Google would tell you, a sea fortress, just 15-minute ferry ride away from Helsinki. When I got off the train in Helsinki and started to walk to make my way to the ferry, I realized that I was slower than I expected so I couldn't make it for the ferry that I thought I could get and instead I took the 17:40 ferry. It was cold out and I didn't feel like walking around outside so when I saw people waiting inside, I followed suit. Generally, there's a ferry to and from Suomenlinna every 20 minutes, but it's depending on the hour. There are some hours where it's only one ferry per hour so check the schedule if you plan to visit. The zone ABC ticket that I bought for the train could be used for this ferry too and of course I scheduled it so that it fell within the 90 minutes. The ferry wasn't full and there were obvious other tourists like me. You can actually could go up to the second level of the ferry to really see the view, but it's cold out and no one was doing it, so all of us just sat inside. It's really cold and I'm sure it's gonna be windy, so even if there's someone doing it, I'm not sure I would. This photo below was taken from inside the ferry, so that's why there's that weird glare thingy. I'm not sure if it's part of Suomenlinna.
On arriving in Suomenlinna, my first order of business was going to the toilet so I entered a building which I think was the visitor center. That day being a Sunday, whatever service they had for the day was done. No matter, the toilet was accessible and I was most thankful for that. The taps in the sinks have notice that the water are safe to drink and people are encouraged to try it. By the way, many things are closed on Sundays in Finland and even if they're open, they close early too like maybe by 5 pm. I kinda forget that this kinda thing happens in Europe. That Sunday apparently Finland was having Parliamentary election too. Anyways, I guess when I arrived in Somenlinna though the sun was still out, it was already quite late so it's quiet which I think made for a good visit. For a while I just followed the direction of where the other tourists were walking but along the way I found myself alone on the path. So I just followed the map that I had downloaded. There are people living in Suomenlinna which I don't know if it's a good idea or not. The good thing is that you have nice nature around you. The bad thing is that, you really need to schedule your life around the ferry to so-called go back to "civilization" and there will be times where there are just many tourists? During my trip there, I didn't really see people who I thought was resident. It is possible that most of them live on the other part of the island where it's not touristy. Looking at the map, there are actually 4 islands. The 2 biggest island are where the tourist attractions are. Nothing was written for the 2 smaller islands and those 2 smaller island are connected by a bridge each. To cater for the tourists, Suomenlinna actually has quite a few interesting places. They do have cafes and restaurants, none of them were open when I was there. Again because it was late on a Sunday. Maybe they open longer in the summers. There are also museums which were already closed when I was there. I wasn't interested to go to any of them anyway. My whole purpose for being there was just to spend time walking around it was quite good. The end point for the walk as guided by the map was to reach the King's Gate (last picture below). To reach the gate, there was one section of path overlooking the water below and on the path there were some cannons lined up. You could actually go down the path to the beach but it was cold and I didn't feel like going up and down stairs.
The only thing that caused me a bit of concerns and the concerns came from me projecting things rather than reality was that there were these big groups of teens who were doing I think extra-curricular activities? I don't know if they camped there; it must be awfully cold if they did. Though I think they are teens like maybe 15-17 years old, they're all are taller and bigger than me. They wore like a prison jumpsuit either in white or black with a lot of badges being put it. It felt a bit militaristic and them being all white and blond - again it's me projecting things, I want to stress this point - I was wondering if they are in some kind of far-right, QAnon, and white supremacy group thing which as an Asian walking there alone, there were quite a number of times when they were around, I was like please God don't let them be crazy. I left one area quite fast where there were quite a number of them congregating. Maybe it's nothing like that at all, maybe it's just some harmless teenagers nature group thing, and I was just being paranoid. I get all my international news from CNN and I guess even reading CNN could make me look at white people differently. So anyways, after reaching the King's Gate, I started to make my way back slowly and there's still some things that I didn't notice previously like this submarine below which actually already appeared in one of the picture above. I just didn't notice it then. The submarine is called Vesikko and you could actually enter it, but it's only open in the summer.
As the sun was setting, I really liked how the colours are changing. It made the top red branches red. There's also a pinkish reddish tinge on the clouds. It was getting really really cold and I was just ready to go by that time. Real life isn't great but I was okay and ready for vacation to be over and maybe that's a good thing.
I took the 20:20 ferry off from Suomenlinna. This time around, the ferry was quite full including a group of those teenagers. My flight was actually leaving at 01:25 AM so I still actually had a lot of time to spend. I did think if maybe I should go to the cinema that I found and watch John Wick, but then I thought maybe not because the ticket price was also more expensive than Singapore. So I walked slowly back to the train station taking pictures along the way and passing the Esplanadi park again. It was kinda late, so not many people around.
There was a shop along the along the way that had the Moomins display on its window. I didn't get any Moomins related thing on this trip :( There's actually also a Moomins cafe at the airport but by the time I was there it was already closed for the day :(
Remembering the 90 minutes on the ticket, I decided to just head back to the airport. During the train ride, the train stopped for some time. After awhile of us not moving, I decided to ask the lady in front of me what's happening, but I don't think she spoke English or maybe not well that when she tried to find the words, she just couldn't so I said it's okay. I wasn't worried about time because I had a lot of time and we did start to move again, so it's all good. I wasn't that hungry upon reaching the airport but I thought I should eat and settled on Burger King when I heard Indonesian being spoken. I purposely sat next to the guys who spoke them and asked them in Indonesian if I could use the chair near them for my bag. I was really very curious with them, seeing them sorting out boarding passes and luggage tags. There were 4 of them and they are tour guides. They had 90 guests in total and the next day they were off to Paris. So late that night the 4 of them went to the airport to self-check in all their guests and print all the boarding passes and lugagge tags so that they could just drop off bags and breeze through the next morning. As much as I like travelling and seeing new places, I know I don't have the patience to be a tour guide and seeing them late that night, I do think it's one hard aspect of their work that maybe people do not see. We all talked a bit and then I left them to their work and after walking the one shop that still opened, I decided to just go to the departure area. It was quiet at that time. I might be the only one who was passing through immigration and security at the time when I was doing it. I was quite tired. So when I found a sitting area with soothing nature sound and nature projection on the walls, I just literally lied down and at some point I even lifted my feet up. I personally do not think that is proper behaviour but I was really tired, my feet was tired from all the walk in this whole trip. It was still quite a long wait at the airport and I was just really tired and it took effort to be somewhat alert. I wasn't looking forward to being in a full plane but luckily it turned out my seat on the plane wasn't bad. I chose aisle (always on long flight) and no one was sitting in the middle and the lady sitting by the window didn't have any seat in front of her so she had direct access to get out to the toilet. I dozed off a lot during this flight, in fact also during the Singapore - Helsinki flight that I didn't watch many movies during both flights. I am seriously getting old now that I couldn't stay up much anymore. Alright, let me end here. For pictures from Helsinki, you can go here and for Suomenlinna, you can go here.
:) eKa @ 9:49:00 PM • 0 comments
Friday, April 28, 2023
we're always right place and wrong time
we always wait in the sunshine
and we're always on the cusp, I'll forever put my trust
in silver linings, silver linings
Silver Linings - Easy Life
Honestly, I can't say I'll forever put my trust in silver lining because I can't see the silver lining in the first place. Day 6 was the last day in Iceland and I was spending it all in Reykjavik. The only engagement for that day was something at 12:30 pm. So after a really tiring day the day before, I could just be slow and take my time that morning. After breakfast, I went out to explore the capital starting with going to Tjörnin / the lake. As lake goes, there were many ducks and swans. There's a family that morning feeding them. What's quite interesting was that some part of the lake was frozen and it's quite funny seeing ducks trying to slide walk slowly on ice and it's especially funny when they just flew and tried to land on the ice upright :D I walked around the perimeter of the lake until the other end which I found gave me a more beautiful view but perhaps it's because the sun was out a bit when I reached there.
Then I made my way to Hallgrímskirkja / the church. A paid concert was about to take place at that time, so only audience could enter the church. I just walked around it a bit and then I took the main street in front of the church, taking pictures of what I thought was interesting like the mural arts or arts on the ground (like the picture below). The weather was changing, cloudy with a slight drizzle. It's been like that for the past days, so yeah what can you do about it right?
The main street in front of Hallgrímskirkja brought me to the rainbow street. Entered some shops that looked interesting as I walked. There's quite a number of mural arts in this town, not just in this street but throughout as I had been walking, so it's kinda interesting to be turning a corner and see some art on the wall.
Walking around, I was concerned about where to find a taxi. My 12:30 pm appointment was for a helicopter ride. I have googled the bus, but I didn't have exact cash for it and the ISK / Icelandic Króna that I had should be enough for taxi. By the way, I read a lot that you could go cashless in Iceland and it was so true. You could pay everything tapping your card which is so convenient, familiar, but then I thought this was too easy, like you ended up not thinking if you have spent too much. One time I went to dinner not bringing my bag because I just needed the card to pay and I thought this felt like being a guy because girls usually need a bag to hold our things and most of the time guys just have things in their pocket :D Anyways, I wasn't sure if I could pay the taxi with card and maybe holding some cash would be good so I exchanged 50 euro in Helsinki airport during my transit there. I ended up not using the cash much, so I had to spend it that day. Back to me looking for taxi - I tried to look around to identify a taxi, but couldn't, but by some luck I found a taxi stand with some taxis there. The taxi driver knew where the hangar is, so it's good. There's a partition in the taxi and the driver was wearing a mask. He didn't insist I wore one, but I wonder if it's a requirement. Side note: my mom would say it's always better to wear one, but the thing is in a world where no one wears a mask, wearing one just makes me worried people think I'm weird or I have the disease or worst I would be targetted because of it's a sign I'm a foreigner and Asian at that. Anyways the taxi driver was saying the weather didn't seem to be very good that day for a helicopter ride and I was like yeah, but hopefully it'd work out. When I paid him, he was like so you want change? Good God :| So I asked, do you have one 50 ISK coin? He said he did and he gave me that. I needed the coin for the bus ride back. Arriving in the hangar, they told me it was cancelled precisely do to the cloudy weather. ARRRGHH!!! They said they texted me but I didn't receive it. They said they tried to call, I did see there was a miss call but the number wasn't listed :( I wonder why on earth they didn't email like all of our correspondence. AARRRGHH!!! I tried to keep it cool there. I asked about refund, they said they would of course do that. The refund did come some days later but what freaking annoys me (still present tense) was that due to exchanges or whatever admin fee there is, I lost like 30 SGD. It's not the helicopter company's fault this happened; it's whatever money processing currency exchange system going on in this world - that is hella annoying. 30 SGD is like enough for a meal both in Singapore and Iceland :( The other thing that added to my disappointment was that I was really quite on a fence on doing this helicopter ride because it's expensive. I was tossing between doing it or going on a horse ride, both things I have never done before. Thinking that the helicopter was more awesome, I ended up choosing it even though the timing was not ideal. I was hoping I could do it in the morning so I would have time to go to the Blue Lagoon. When I was given the confirmation, I thought okay maybe God told me to save money and not go to the Blue Lagoon which I was also very much on the fence about going. So that was the thought process and everything didn't work out, aarrghhh!!! Anyways, I already planned to go to Perlan after the helicopter ride. Now that it's not gonna happen, I thought okay, on to Perlan then. The helicopter people asked if I would need a taxi to the city and they would pay for it. I asked a taxi to Perlan instead. So they called the taxi and I used their toilet before I left. The taxi driver was the one who took me there and he laughed when he saw me. Apparently the helicopter people paid him quite generously for a short ride to Perlan which was around 15-17 minutes walk.
I cannot remember how much Perlan cost, but I had nothing to do and it's raining outside so I bought the ticket that encompasses all. Perlan is like a small museum which shows the nature of Iceland. There's a planetarium which has a story about the aurora. I did that one first. Then there's the ice cave which was built using ice that they actually brought in from actual glacier. I was thinking when they did that, wouldn't that ruin that glacier. Turns out the ice cave was small, so maybe not much harm done. They have a section explaining glacier, how they're formed and such. There's also an exhibition about volcano and the different volcanic rocks and there's a wall in which there's a model of what the natural habitat of puffins look like. I was quite interested to see the puffins, but you could only see them in the summer. One of the last thing I saw was the volcano show where there's a video of a volcano erupting. I forget which volcano it was but it was in the winter and it became like a tourist attraction where people could actually come quite close to the lava flow. The room simulates the smell of the volcano erupting. I can't really describe it, the smell was strong and it was quite unique, nothing like what I have smelled before.
Perlan also has an observation deck. I went out there twice, once it was cloudy and drizzling and windy and the other time there were some sun but still windy. It gave a nice view of Reykjavik. Then in the cafe there I decided to have lunch, fish and chip. The cafe is on a floor that rotates ever so slightly. I don't think I completed one whole rotation during lunch. Overall I think Perlan is so so, like if you really really have nothing to do, then I guess you can go there.
Going back to the city, I gave myself some time because though I knew the schedule of the bus, I wasn't sure about the walk there. I have downloaded both Helsinki and Reykjavik map for offline use for this trip, but what I didn't realize was that Google Maps was somehow able to locate my location on the map without data or even during flight mode. I usually deny access to location for the apps in my phone, but apparently I always allow it for Google Maps and it was so so useful. I've travelled to many places for some years now and yet this crucial information was only something that I learnt then. I am embarrassed. So anyways, Perlan is on the Öskjuhlíð hill and I knew nearby there's like an area with trees which would make for a good walk. I found the trail and I thought it was really interesting, the trees were taller and green, but then I also realized, it was stupid of me to be doing this. The weather could change into heavier drizzle which would make the trail muddy, I'm not an outdoor person who does hiking at all so I have no safety knowledge whatsoever except for this one where I understood what I was doing was stupid. No one knew I was going there. I do not know the trail at all. I also do not know any emergency number. If I got hurt or if suddenly someone did something bad to me there, I would just be gone. So I decided as much as it looked peaceful and interesting, I needed to get out. As I was walking out, I saw 2 guys walking the trail dressed very casually. I wondered what they were doing there. Were they there to smoke some weed? That's where my head was going and I also thought just when I thought someone bad could do bad things to me there, I saw other people. Nothing happened, but it's kinda a sign to me that maybe it's better for me to get out.
I got to the bus stop quite early which gave me time to check if the bus would be on the street I was in or the one opposite. Kinda daunting not understanding the bus stop information in the bus, but I managed to get off correctly at the bus stop near Hallgrímskirkja. This time around I could go in. I said a little prayer to thank God for helping me on this trip and to help me with safe travel back.
Then I made my way back to the hotel, taking the rainbow street again. Before I turned in for the day, I went to the nearby supermarket, Bónus, whose symbol is a pink pig :D Got chocolate there. Then I remembered there's an ice-cream shop nearby. It was cold out but I thought maybe I could use my remaining ISK. I thought it was a bit silly going for ice-cream on a really cold day but ahead of me was a close-to-elderly couple going for ice-cream too so I didn't feel so silly and as I was looking at all the flavours, a group of family came in. 2 scoops for 1000 ISK and I thought that was perfect, I could spend my last ISK there. I couldn't remember what flavours I got but it was money well-spent :D Since it was really cold out, I was already planning to have my ice-cream inside. Appparently all were doing the same. It kinda made me happy seeing all just standing around with me by the wall eating ice-cream. It was a good ending, but I have to say that I don't think me and Iceland gel. Somehow we just didn't work out and as ungrateful for me to say this, I'm not that super blown away as many people who have been to Iceland have said or written. Many things didn't happen, that would usually spur people to dream for another visit, but I think I'm good. I could very much be dead inside that I didn't feel much *sigh* that is for another post. When I went back to my room that day, I saw another rainbow from the window. I saw a lot of rainbows in this trip and as I saw that rainbow I told God, I don't know God, I don't understand the reason why things didn't work out. I know I should be grateful for all the good things so I asked for forgiveness that I'm not all that. For pictures from Reykjavik, please go here. One more post to write and that'll wrap up the story about this trip.
:) eKa @ 9:33:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, April 25, 2023
who needs words?
when everything is crystal clear
when happiness is so sincere
across this universe
Who Needs Words - Young Gun Silver Fox
Day 5 was a Friday and I was going to Katla ice cave. I guess I was a bit nervous because I don't know how physical it was going to get. It was a long drive to get to the starting point, Vik, which I had been on the Monday that week. To break the long drive, there was a stop at the waterfalls which I already saw on Monday. What was different was that the landscape was no longer white and covered in snow and instead of blue sky, it was cloudy with a little drizzle. I guess it made it quite interesting for me to see the same waterfalls in a completely different light. First stop that morning was the Skógafoss waterfall. The guide mentioned there's a staircase that we could take to see the top of the waterfall and the river that feeds the water. When I saw it, I was thinking how come I didn't notice it on Monday, but maybe it was closed that day due to the snow. Since I have seen the waterfall before, I thought why not climb these stairs. It wasn't easy, like almost halfway I was thinking, why am I doing this?!? Shouldn't I be conserving energy for the cave? But when you're halfway, you just have to commit to it and I made it. I was quite relieved when I saw a teen boy who was taller and looked fitter than me bending over to catch his breath, because then I know it was really not easy, not just for me who don't exercise :D There was also a dad in my group who took the stairs and he was behind me, he was on the large size and I was worried if he could make it without incident, but he did and I was glad for him :D On top of the waterfall, we could see the river of this waterfall which Google told me is the Skógá river and if you walked a bit along this river, you would see a smaller tiered waterfalls in the river. Now that the cliff around the waterfall was not covered in snow, I saw there were many birds on them. I wonder where the birds went when it was covered in snow.
Arriving in Vik, we only had a small break which was actually not enough to have a proper meal. Before I left that morning I bought a pastry (just one this time) from the bakery near the hotel which I love and so during the break I quickly gulped that down. I was worried that the pastry, big as it was, was not sufficient but we had to make do. I think I lost some weight during this whole trip due to the many steps taken each day; it was more than 10,000 each day and there were even more than 20,000-step days; but I think I have gotten them back now. When we re-grouped, our driver guide divided our group into 2 separate jeeps and that jeep took us nearer to the cave entrance. It was quite a long ride where after the paved road we were on black volcanic dirt. When someone commented that it was bumpy, it reminded me of the drive in Kenya last year :D The jeep then stopped at this one place where we were given crampon. Now I have read about this before coming and was quite concerned about having to put it on. Since I had no experience with winter gears, I had concerns if I had the right shoes. By the way, I got many of my winter clothings from Decathlon because it's just way cheaper than the alternative and I was really thankful that they exist and they're fast. My shoes should be right for the occassion but I was still concerned. When the guide passed me the crampon, he just pointed which part the front one was and that information didn't help at all. He was busy with other people so I couldn't really ask for more explanation, so I asked a girl who was sitting next to me in the jeep and turned out the crampon is like a slip on. You position the toe part first and drag the back part to fit the back of your shoes. Another girl asked that girl if she had her ones correctly, so I guess it's also a new experience for some people too. Other than the crampon, we're given helmet too. The crampon helped a lot when walking on the ice. It made me feel safe. It gave a crunch crunch sound as we walked. Someone in the group said it sounded so crunchy :D It was some walk to where the cave was, but I was just in awe with what I saw. Mind you there was a drizzle, but the landscape was so different.
On booking this trip, I was thinking there might not be many people going for this so I really had my concerns because this was the most physical activity I booked and I was worried if I would be the weaker one in the group :$ but turned out there were so many people doing this. At one point suddenly behind me a group of Singaporeans arrived. I think they're a tour group. I identified them by accent. I didn't say "hi" because, well as bad as I am to say this, I don't think Singaporeans are the friendly bunch especially to one who is not one of their own who comes from places like mine. Anyways, so we're all waiting below this ice arch (picture below) because they could only let a few people at a time in the ice cave. I have to say that the cave I went to was different from the pictures. The guide was explaining that nothing is permanent there, depending on how the ice grow and melt, new caves are formed and some caves may not be accessible. Even the arch we're under was getting smaller. So he said the guides always have to find ways to adjust the trip. He had an ice pick and he said that the water in the blue ice is pure so he hacked some of it and told us we could try it if we wanted to. After many others took the pieces, there wasn't a small piece left, so I didn't. Google told me that the black streak in the ice was of black ash from past volcanic eruptions.
So we're divided into smaller group to enter the cave and it was dark inside, kinda couldn't see much, but it was still interesting and at the same time scary for me. That is because there's like a stream with strong current by our pathways and there's only so little space to walk and this small space had to accomodate people going in and out in a single file. There's rope you could hold on but I became kinda edgy inside and I kinda snapped when someone behind me asked, are we not moving? I had to tell him there's nowhere to go because the people in front of me hadn't left and I proceeded to tell him and his excited group, please can we go slow. I couldn't take many pictures inside because it's dark and because there's people waiting, I chose not to stay long. This picture below was not a good one, but it shows a bit of the stream with the strong current which I was so afraid I was going to fall into. I wonder where I would end up at if I did fall into it.
After that short time in the cave, it was a walk back to where the jeeps were and this walk back was the most memorable thing about the whole trip or even my whole time in Iceland. A good thing about it was there was some time where the people in front of me and behind me were some distance away and I felt like I was the only person in that out-of-this-planet landscape. Yes there was a drizzle, it was cold, but I didn't care. There were some streams around which I think was from the melting ice and I don't know how high we were but there's like a mist or cloud shrouding the landscape and it felt ethereal. You know, somehow seeing the landscape of mountains or black rocks covered in snow in Iceland like below always made me think of a whale. It was truly the best experience I had in Iceland. I may sound ungrateful for not being amazed much with all that I had experienced in the days before but this one thing is truly the most memorable one. It is something I would hold on in my heart as that wonderful blessing God took me to see, a completely new experience, one that I may not encounter again elsewhere. My words are really not adequate to express what it was like to me, the awe and wonder.
For pictures from the trip to Katla ice cave, you can go here. On the way back to Reykjavik, we stopped by Seljalandsfoss waterfall which I also already saw on Monday and so I decided to walk more towards the smaller waterfalls. Turns out at the end there was this waterfall which is quite hidden. I saw the path towards it, but I didn't take it because I was alone (I guess the rest in the group were tired, they didn't really get out) and I don't know how long the path was and I was running out of time. Like the Skógafoss waterfall in the morning, it was quite interesting to see Seljalandsfoss and its friends in a different light without all the snow covering them.
Now, earlier that day I received the message that the aurora tour which was cancelled the day before was on that day. I was hopeful it would all work out, but then the drive to Reykjavik was taking longer and I started to get worried. We're supposed to arrive around 8 pm, but we're not even close. My pick up for the aurora tour was 09:30 pm. I really wished I could arrive as early as possible so that I could clean up a bit and eat a bit. I got dropped off just before 09:00 pm and it was a dash to get cup noodle ready and tripod ready. I don't have a habit of bringing instant noodle on trips but did so purposely for this and since I couldn't find soupy Pop Mie here, I had to settle with Nissin and I prepared for it but it still annoyed me that it didn't come with eating utensils. I mean, what?!?! How are you supposed to eat this supposedly convenient food if the one tool you need to eat it is not provided? *sigh* Well, as I said, knowing that possibility, I have brought the necessary utensils. Somehow I managed to eat, get the tripod ready, and was punctual at the bus stop for pick up. I was worried about this because since I arrived, I have gotten very sleepy around 09:30 pm or so and to stay up until late was something that I wondered I could do especially after a physically tiring day, a day which was also perhaps the wettest and coldest I'd been. A lot of prayers to God to help me through this. We're driven to a place which the map said would be clear enough to see the aurora. There's a lighthouse nearby and the sound of the sea. I have googled the forecast myself so I couldn't blame the guide for choosing the place which other guides also chose because there were other groups as well. When we arrived, we could see the moon somehow covered a bit by cloud but there's reason to be positive because of the forecast. It was really cold, another worry for me if I could make it. The guide gave us hot chocolate and it helped stop my shivering and he also gave us some chocolate too to snack on. Now you see this post and there's no more pictures because the weather somehow completely didn't work out. It was really cloudy, not like what the weather forecast said. The guide tried to go to another place but it's the same thing, then we went back to the first place and the moon was now completely covered. Is it stupid to be driven around in the middle of a cold night for nothing? Yes, but that is what happened to us. I guess if we had seen some, it would have been worth it, but gosh :( I tried y'all. There's nothing else I could do - I got someone to lend me a tripod, I tried to learn how to photograph aurora, I scheduled it as such so that I had options if one day didn't work out though perhaps I should have scheduled it better so that I had more nights available. The forecast was saying it was a good chance we could see something and the weather forecast showed clear sky on the area we're in but that part didn't materialize. It hit me hard, like God why? We have this saying in Indonesian, manusia berencana, Tuhan yang menentukan - human makes plan, but God decides. I don't know why God said no :( but I cannot be that pissed because He had protected me throughout and yes there was that wish to see the aurora but deep inside it was something that I thought was far fetched for me. I even remember saying to the guy who lent me the tripod that perhaps after all the effort, I got to see nothing at all. Maybe I jinxed myself there and then. I know that maybe a no from God is not a no, it's just a not yet, but if it really is a no, it's just one thing among the countless wonderful things and places He has taken me to experience. I was delivered back around 02:00 AM something and in the grand picture kinda way, what really important was I survived that long day. I was okay and I had experienced something that felt out of this world.
:) eKa @ 9:41:00 PM • 0 comments
Friday, April 21, 2023
Day 4 - Golden Circle + Kerið Crater
these things I like to do
they're only worth it when I'm with you
yeah it's true, so do you
do you wanna do nothing with me?
Do You Wanna Do Nothing With Me? - Lawrence
First heard that song on the Stephen Colbert's show and I thought it was really good, the music and the lyric. The lyric itself is kinda me :D So day 4 was spent doing what I think is the most common thing people who come to Iceland do which is doing the Golden Circle route and I chose the trip that included Kerið / Kerid Crater too. Start time that day was later than the rest of the trips so I had more time in the morning and after breakfast I decided to go to the bakery with really good reviews some distance away from the hotel to get some snack for lunch. I like pretty much everything there but settled on bagel filled with cream cheese and peanut butter and a lemon donut (if I remember correctly). They actually don't have the combination of cream cheese and peanut butter listed, so I wonder if they thought I was weird. Alright back to the trip, first stop on the route was Þingvellir / Thingvellir National Park. We're given time to just roam around on our own. It really is a must-visit for tourists because there were many people there. I can't remember much about what I saw. I remember there's like a wall of rocks (for lack of a better word) and that's kinda cool. I really wish I know what the mountain over the water is called.
After that we went to Gullfoss Waterfall which Google told me means Golden Waterfall. It's a waterfall in a river and Google also told me that the river is the Hvítá river. It is very cool because it's rather wide and the current and drop were quite strong.
Moving on to Geysir, on the way we stopped by a place to see some Icelandic horses. Icelandic horses are very cute because they're smaller than the common horse. All the many guides I had in this trip have said, don't call them pony even though they're small. There's also a stable in this short stop which I went in only for awhile because I couldn't handle the smell. I wonder if the horses are really friendly or I am projecting that they're friendly because they're so cute in the small size, but the horses there didn't seem to mind people.
The stop in Geysir was longer because we're also given time to have lunch. I chose to eat first in which I got hot chocolate and had my bagel which was not bad, but I thought it might be better if the peanut butter wasn't the chunky kind. After that I explored Geysir which is this area with a number of geysers. I saw a few people waiting around on one but since nothing happened, I just walked around the area a bit. There were some pools on the higher ground. I didn't put my hand in it, so I don't know how hot it was.
Back to the area where people were waiting, I decided to wait too. I couldn't remember the name of this geyser, but the guide did say it erupts pretty frequently so we should be able to see it in action. From Google, I think the name is Strokkur. Below is a video that I took. Side note: I don't know what's up with Blogger that their video tool is not working, arrggh had to go to Flickr to get it hosted :( Anyways, I waited for some time so it was a longer video, but I cut down the waiting part and I don't like the surrounding sounds so I changed it to music. We're told that if it's going to erupt, the water is going to shake violently, which I don't think the video really shows. It's kinda cute seeing suddenly a blue bulb like shape forming and then it burst :D The burst wasn't very long though.
After that, I decided to wait again for the next eruption so that I could take some pictures. I waited and watched two more eruptions. Other than that geyser, there's also little geyser like this one below.
Last stop of the day was Kerið Crater. I didn't know what to expect going there. I had no knowledge whatsoever about this place. On reaching, I first took the path that leads down to the crater. Then I realized, it's a lake in a crater. I thought it was so so cool. The lake wasn't very big and it was frozen when I was there which made me think it might be so cool to ice-skate there? Though at that time, the ice wasn't very smooth which I think actually made it more charming. You could walk around the rim of the crater but I didn't really do that because it was cold with a little drizzle and windy. I like Kerid crater a lot, I think it's really beautiful. That being said, it may give you a different feel in a different season.
For pictures from the Golden Circle route, please go here. It wasn't a long trip that day which I purposely scheduled as such because in the evening I was planning to go see the northern light, but earlier that day I received a message that it was cancelled because of weather. I was really disappointed and I didn't know then that my disappointment would still grow in my remaining days in Iceland :( Anyways, so arrived back in Reykjavik not too late in the evening and I had a free time, so I decided to walk following the path by the water and see a few things. Below is the Harpa Concert Hall. I only entered it on my way back because I was sure there would be toilets I could use.
The weather was quite clear on my walk which made me wonder why the aurora tour was cancelled :( Disappointment doesn't leave me easily. So anyways, because it's quite clear, the view across the water to Mount Esja was very clear that day, but yeah I see this picture below with so many low laying clouds, it's really not conducive for aurora watch.
When I reached the Sun Voyager, I took a few pictures and then started to make my way back, stopping for dinner which was fish and chip at the place where I had the arctic char days earlier.
Walking back to the hotel, I took a picture of a mural art in one of the building or maybe a house nearby the hotel. Last picture below is of the view from my room where you could see the church, Hallgrímskirkja. Oh the melancholy feel it gives really match my disappointment that day.
:) eKa @ 8:58:00 PM • 0 comments
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