Eka's Bottle

Saturday, February 05, 2005

What constitutes the earth? What defines it? Is it the whole round thing, the land + the sea? Is it only it? How about the atmosphere? The clouds? Are they part of the Earth? In one of the meaningless conversations over lunch this week I was telling this people that I will be gone. One person said: Gone would mean you disappear from the face of the earth. I said: Yeah, I would not be on earth, I would be in the sky up there (in a plane). That doesn't count as being gone from the face of the Earth, does it? I wish it could, but maybe one day when I can get to travel to the outer space. Maybe then, I can claim that I disappear from the face of the Earth.

I am...Will be gone from this city for a week, which is actually a very short time, only 100+ hours. Will be going home again for Chinese New Year. I am so excited, but because of the stupid things which have been happening since I came back last time, I kinda don't have much energy to show that I'm thrilled about going home. I am. I really am. 4 years not spending Chinese New Year with the family itself makes this trip so highly anticipated by many. Not just me, but also my family. I know that things are not the same anymore. It's not the Chinese New Year the way I remembered it when I was growing up. There are certain people that I don't get to see anymore but still there are some that I do get to see. Let's just be happy with that. Be happy that we can still celebrate it with the family event though its shrinking. So I'm hyped, I'm so looking forward to this and how I wish I don't have to come back here again.

When I came back to Singapore earlier this year, everything become bearable because I know within 1 month time I will be back home. But after next week, when I come back here again, there's no sight of home in the near future. I can see me being more depressed than I am now. Irony...There are people who are nice to me but at the same I'm facing all these things that I could not stand anymore. It's just...I feel torn, dillemmatic...and maybe it boils down to being afraid to just walk out.

*sigH* Let's not think of it anymore. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna talk to people who gonna make feel at ease. Then I can see things clearly and be strong in whatever it is that God wants me to face. On another sad note. I did something really bad. I think it's because of my carelessness. Hopefully it can still be saved, otherwise I'll be too embarrassed to face someone.

Okay...Take care people. Happy Chinese New Year

:) eKa @ 2:00:00 PM •

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