Saturday, May 30, 2026
Day 0 - Banff, by Way of Vancouver - Calgary
easy now, won't you relax baby
'cause I don't like to see you stressed
believe me now, it’s not worth the drama, baby
just take your time and forget the rest
sometimes I know that life is too much
and all you wanna do is run away
Easy Now - Angels of Libra
I was in Canada last week and so here it will begin now the posts about the trip. It wasn't a very long trip because it's expensive - well I think Canada is actually cheaper than Singapore but my accomodation cost was very high that my total cost was high. I was quite scared before the trip, I think because it felt so far away that there's more fear than usual that I had to sit with. I'm back in one piece and all was fine (even when it wasn't) and so I have to thank God almighty for always having my back. I want to begin this post with the visa application - woe the Indonesians :( You have to apply and submit all the necessary documents online and you can find information about the processing time in the country you're applying from. It takes longer in Singapore than Indonesia which kinda confused me because Singaporeans do not need a visa to go to Canada; so you're telling me there's so many non-Singaporeans here in Singapore applying for visa? The only reasonable explanation is that they do not have enough staff here to handle the applications. So anyways, I started my application at the end of January, very early compared to when I usually start. I got the message to submit my biometric pretty fast, less than 24 hours from when I submitted my application. I didn't book an appointment immediately though thinking that I'd have a lot of time. I only went in around 2 weeks after the message and this was before Chinese New Year. The nice thing about applying Canada visa is the only physical thing they ask is your biometrics, you don't have to submit any documents. Even during this biometrics appointment, they do not ask for your passport. So I went home for Chinese New Year thinking by the time I come back, they would have finished checking my application and come to a decision and then ask for my passport. Well that didn't happen and this was when I started to get worried. The processing time was around 40 days in Singapore and this fluctuates but it's always around there and I think with the world cup coming, this timing is increasing, even in Indonesia. This date count is from when an application is completed and I start to think if this actually means when I completed biometric, but the thing is though the portal showed the correct date of my biometric information as when I gave it, it's being marked as processing instead of completed. I googled around and asked AIs (Google and Copilot) about it and it seemed they even check the biometric data against its Five Eyes alliance records (Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the US, UK) - 4 of those countries have my biometrics records now. Anyways, these checks should be computerized and fast and I just don't get why it's taking dang long and so my anxiety about this began :( Side note: both AIs were being positive about this and telling me my timeline was still okay. It was around St. Patrick's Day (oh lucky day) that my biometric was marked as completed. I wondered if this was the start of the processing count down, the over 30 days that I had to wait because the rest of the application check was still in processing status :( Thank God that it was around 2 weeks later, in early April that I finally got a message to submit my passport, kinda indicating that I would get the visa though the portal hadn't confirmed this. This part of the process was fast. VFS (the offices that process the biometrics, handle the documents, and act as an intermediary with the embassy) tried to squeeze money by asking if I want the sms update even though at every step there will already be an email update - lucky I'm quite experienced in this that I could say no. So all and all, it took me more than 2 months from the time I submitted my application, around 2 months from when I gave my biometrics. When I read people's blogs that say the process for them was quite fast ... well it wasn't so for me. The good news and blessed be Canada for being nice and easy, my visa is multiple entry and ends just one day before my passport expires which is in around 7 years from now. If God allows it, I may just visit Canada at least one more time before September 2033.
The flight to Canada was on a Saturday morning which worried me about having to find a taxi so early in the morning, like before 5 AM. Someone asked me, instead of that shouldn't you worry about oversleeping? I honestly didn't think of it because I usually have difficulty sleeping but somehow I think I did sleep because when the alarm rang I was quite stunned, but I woke up, showered, and got all my things together, and I managed to get a taxi quite fast. The whole thing was uneventful. I think it's me getting older that on the 14-hour flight, I did manage to doze off and didn't watch many things. That being said I did complete A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms and was left with 3 episodes of Pluribus which I completed on the way back. Air Canada has really good in-flight entertainment. Anyways, so my first leg is Banff by way of Vancouver and Calgary. Immigration check in Vancouver was easy peasy. I filled in an online form the day before and used the machine in the aiport to complete it by providing my fingerprints. There's like a receipt when we completed this and we handed it to the staff who asked you a few questions, I guess to make sure you're not suspicious. Transit time in Vancouver was less than 2 hours, then it was off to Calgary. I thought this flight would be like budget airline, but no. Air Canada provided snack and there's also in-flight entertainment. By the way, on the flight from Singapore to Vancouver there were 2 meals and a very substantial snack in the form of sandwich; I guess it's because the flight is longer than 12 hours there's the extra meal. In Calgary, it was snowing. I remember thinking it was like Christmas movie snowing. I was prepared for Banff to be colder but the snow was unexpected. I already booked a shuttle to take me from Calgary to Banff, it's around a 2-hour ride, and I booked the 11:30 AM which in retrospect perhaps this wasn't necessary. I managed to get my luggage before 11 AM and could have taken the 11 AM shuttle with another cheaper company. I just thought these shuttles would be filled fast, so I preferred to book it beforehand. I guess maybe it is sometimes, I don't know. So the ride to Banff was in full snow and I remember thinking if these people could understand how wondrous it was for a person from the tropic to be mesmerized with this. My first snow falling experience was in Helsinki and it wasn't as heavy as this one. This time, everything was white and visibility was low, I couldn't see far and all I saw was white and it was just amazing for me.
Arriving in Banff, it was snowing too. I chose a cheaper hotel in my attempt to cut cost, especially because the Vancouver one was more expensive. It's further out from the town center, but at least this Banff lodge gave me free bus day pass. The room was not fancy at all, but it's sufficient. Initial plan was to go up the Tunnel Mountain which I wasn't so sure actually because after a long flight, could I really do it? The snow put an end to it because hiking up a mountain (though a short one as it is) in the snow was not a good idea - even I could see that. Then I thought should I get up the Banff gondola, but I think it was AI who told me the visibility would be too low to make it worthwhile. So I ended up waking around town in the snow. I think they call this flurries which Wikipedia says, intermittent light snow and it was so, light at times but heavy at other times, heavier than the time in Helsinki at least. First stop was the Cascade of Time Garden which I didn't explore much because there doesn't seem much of anything in it. I don't know if it's really significantly more beautiful in the summer. This was perhaps where I took picture of the mountains in the snow.
After that I thought of going to the Bow Falls Viewpoint, finding the trail by the Bow river, all the while in the snow. I was thinking do the locals think it's silly to walk around in this weather, will it be the same as me thinking of people being nuts going for a walk in the drizzles here? It was wet, cold somewhat, but for me it's all so new, so there's excitement. The Bow Falls itself was not very tall. At one point, I reached the shore of the river where there's like a little beach and there's no one around. The snow was getting heavier then and as silly as it was, I just had to stand there and just be in the wonderment. I may have laughed because I really did not expect this at all. It's mesmerizing the way the snow fell and hypnotizing; it felt both fast and slow at the same time.
After this walk, I thought of going back but I saw the sign to Surprise Corner Viewpoint and I thought why not. It was not a very easy walk, there's a bit of elevation and the walk was by the road but luckily there's not many cars. I didn't know what this viewpoint is about and turns out one could see the Fairmont Banff Springs hotel and with the snow and all, I guess it did look nice. Although perhaps my editing is not very good; seriously I don't know how to fix my photos :(
After that, I really called it a day. Went for dinner, but I think I ordered wrong that it was so so. Got to my hotel to get cleaned up and one thing that happened every day during my trip was that I got really sleepy and could really sleep. It's still happening now actually, now that I'm back in Singapore and I know it's not gonna last long, so I really made use of this time when my body could just sleep and shut down. It was a really unexpected day with the snow. Initially I wanted to travel early May but many things were not open yet in Banff and so I opted for a later date where they're on their summer schedule so snow was really not what I expected though the internet did say it's possible. I really did not know what to make of it but I thanked God for what He had in store for me because I know I may not get that kind of experience again, so if that was it, I can only have gratitude.
:) eKa @ 11:23:00 AM • 0 comments
Wednesday, May 13, 2026
I'm about the write about the things that I watched recently and yet the title is about me not having time to slack which kinda contradicts things I suppose, but I was finding myself behind even more things that I usually watch and I have a personal checklist of things I need to and some of it were not done and even worse, I may have forgotten to put things in the list. Will I be alright? The Lord is my shepherd, but the Lord may need me to do right as well. Before Chinese New Year when the nearby mall was decorated with Chinese New Year stuff and they put out forecast for each of the animal zodiac, the writing for the dogs was that it's looking good, but I was thinking what's been happening these past few months have been something that's not really that good. I'm not lacking in things that worry me, make me sad, make me angry and it's really been one thing after another. Though I could also see that there are things to be thankful for. Like last week, something happened (that made the news) and I was in shock and to be honest freaking out, but I'm so thankful that there are others who were there by my side and to have them to go through it together instead of alone in it, well there's gratitude aplenty. But then, of course there's the part of me which was like, why this calamity needs to happen in the first place?!?! I'm tired of calamity and of course it will always be a crisis for me because of how my mind reacts to things not going as they should. So that's one thing recently and since I'm not lacking in anxiety, I'm already looking at June when if I'm not lucky, I will have to make another big change :( Even then though, there's already an option presenting itself, so I might be fine, but I'm just tired you know. It's not even solely the mental; physically I have concerns and I know this is most likely my fault - I should eat more and try to sleep earlier (but even then I may not be able to fall asleep). Like this morning I suddenly had vertigo and AI said it could be pre-syncope too and this happened while I was already out and about in public - it's so so scary that I may just collapse and faint in public which had happened before (ask my mom) :'( Praise be to God that my head cleared up and I made it the whole day. Truly, the reason I am still standing is the good Lord.
Anyways, let's get to the TV things first. I finished season 2 of The Pitt - I really like them a lot. There was a birth in season 2 and I thought the effect in that scene was so cool and I wondered how they did that. I also got reminded that there's a birth in season 1 and watching that then was rather ... scary. That's The Pitt for you - please do not end up in chaotic busy ER. I followed The Pitt with Lord of the Flies which is like a heavy thing followed by another heavy thing. I remembered reading the book and the subject matter is not comfortable so it isn't necessarily an enjoyable or easy read. This TV series was not comfortable too, with the scenes, with the music, and of course with the boys going with their worst instinct in trying to survive in an island on their own. In the book, I was sad when Piggy died but in this TV series, I was more sad when Simon died. It's because the TV series gave some backstory to these kids so I felt more for Simon. The kid who played Jack the so-called villain (but he had issues that made him the way he was) would be playing Draco Malfoy in HBO's upcoming Harry Potter television series and I so look forward to that. After Lord of the Flies, I followed it with The Night Manager which I'm currently watching. I remember liking season 1, but when I watched episode 1 of this season 2, I was thinking maybe these days I prefer lighter things in my spy action drama as influenced by Slow Horses. Anyways, that's the TV part.
For the movies, recently I watched an Italian film, Primavera. The reason I'm writing about it now because I learned new things. The movie is a fiction but there's Vivaldi in it and I found out that he was a priest. I was shocked that I had to pause and googled it a bit. I really didn't know that about him. Something that somehow I also didn't know was that Vivaldi also wrote sonnets for his Four Seasons. So that's very very interesting. The next day, I watched the Indonesian movie Pangku, the english translation of the title is On Your Lap. It's the directorial debut of Reza Rahadian, a well-regarded Indonesian actor. Coming of Primavera, Pangku was another story about women in unfortunate situations. It was a bit hard for me watching it because it depicted poverty. I have watched movies about poor people, but I wondered if it hit me harder because it's Indonesian, like I know there's really people like that. This movie was slow moving that I wondered how non-Indonesians take it, though I remember thinking there's some really really good acting in it. I didn't know how the story was going to unfold and when it unfolded the way it was ... I was like sigh. You can't even be mad at the wife of the man who kept the mistress because damn it's not the wife's fault having to work overseas. This is like the stories of many maids who work out of Indonesia. Maybe it's not the takeaway, but at the end I was quite sad of how difficult it is for people in poverty to lift their progeny out of poverty, like how many generations it would take if it's possible. This is also like a slap in the face, a reminder of how lucky I am. Luck really plays a lot of factor in life. Other mention - I also watched the french movie Bernadette, a fictionalized account of Bernadette Chirac, the wife of the French president Jacques Chirac. Catherine Deneuve was great. The movie was funny. I don't know how much of it are true, like their views of Nicolas Sarkozy. It's very gossipy, the movie :D
:) eKa @ 9:17:00 PM • 0 comments
Tuesday, April 21, 2026
I finished reading The Unicorn Woman by Gayl Jones and since the ending wasn't satisfying for me, I couldn't say this book left much of an impression in me. The book tells the story of a Black American World War II veteran who saw a unicorn woman in a carnival and got very curious about her and so was I. I was with him completely in his attempt to find out more about this woman. Alas the book is not about giving us definitive answer and there's no conclusion in regard to this woman. Though perhaps the whole point is really that; how in life there are some things we will never get to know and we just have to live with it. Anyways, what I find rather interesting about this book is how I feel like this guy is a man of a few words even though in the book we find a whole lot of deal about him. It just seems to me in his conversations with other people, the other people seem to have a lot of things to say and our main character is more of a listener. It's interesting because of all the books I've read (admittedly not a lot), this is the first time I felt this.
Well, I can only write a paragraph about this book. Nothing much else to say. I have some books in the queue for now, but what I'm really interested to read is Project Hail Mary which is not currently in my queue :( I really like the movie and it is rather strange, a reverse usually never happens like wanting to read a book after watching the movie or TV series, but I feel like I really want to read Project Hail Mary. The author is the same one who wrote The Martian and I thought the book was better than the movie which is not the movie fault completely because there's only so much you can put in a movie. Anyways, yeah I guess at some point I will be getting Project Hail Mary the book.
:) eKa @ 9:08:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, March 23, 2026
It's The Deep Mystery, Whether You Want It Or Not
The title above is the English translation of part of the lyric from the song, Águas de Março, by Elis Regina released in 1972, 10 years before I was born. I wrote in this blog about me finding this song and it was back in 2006, so it's been 20 years. In that post I also wrote that Elis Regina died in 1982, the year I was born :( I like that there are different versions of the song like in French and Italian, though the Italian translates the title as The Rain of March instead of The Water of March. I'm extra fond of this song because March is my birth month so when March comes around, I often get a realization that I have to play this song.
Isn't it crazy that 3 months have almost passed in this year? It feels really really fast. Love March but since I get older every March, well that part is ... Though there are things to be thankful for. I realize not many people get to be my age. Not long before my birthday an Indonesian singer younger than me died from cancer - that was really sad and it's really reminding me that I really have to be thankful for the years that I get. The gratitude was even more felt because in the week leading up to my birthday, something was really wrong with my body. There was physical pain, things happening that should not be happening. In my freak out, I prayed so that I wouldn't get an infection or blood poisoning. I sounded dramatic right? But it was rather bad, really really not normal, and I should have probably gone to the doctor, but I didn't because mentally I just didn't have it in me to face the doctor, tell him what happened, and accept the consequences. So I went about my day (thank be to God, there's no fever throughout) and I self-medicated in higher dosage. It took awhile and I wondered if I would ever be okay but by my birthday, there was sign that I was improving, the pain was no longer there, and I could allow myself cake. Now it seems I'm somewhat normal, though my body definitely has some wrong things in them. I do understand me ignoring these issues is torturing my body and making it worse, but I do have the inability to face bad things head on - on this I also have to admit, it's my perception of bad, it's not even necessarily bad thing, it's just something I need to take care of.
Anyways, the usual me, I'm not lacking things to worry about. There is this thing that's currently occupying my mind and there's a part of me which I think is a bigger part that thinks it's gonna work out, but the other part of me who's super worried is louder and it's telling me this may not go my way and this gets me praying everytime it pops in my head. I currently have no alternative plan if this doesn't work out, I just know there will be some financial pain :( While this occupies my mind, the other part of the brain who's still not busy enough it seems tells me there's actually a bigger and more serious issue coming my way and also on this I haven't prepared mentally or planned for bad outcome. Some may argue I think way too much and I need to drop all these worries. I haven't seen the bridge that I have to cross, so why the panic. Stay in the prayers and know that God will get you through whatever it is that may happen. You know, I learned this quote today, we suffer more in imagination that in reality, by the philosopher Seneca the Younger (don't know who that is) and that's what happens to me all the time. This kinda brings me back to the title. Things we don't understand may appear as a mystery, but as a God believer I know that God has His reasons. I don't find it easy when God says no, but God has a plan and we really need to accept it whether we want it or not.
:) eKa @ 8:51:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, March 11, 2026
I finished reading The Vegetarian by Han Kang (winner of the 2024 Nobel Prize in Literature) last week. It tells the story of this woman who turned vegetarian, but we don't actually hear much from her. There are three chapters from the points of view of her husband, brother-in-law, and sister. It begins with the husband describing his wife which he thought to be unremarkable and his freak out when this wife turned vegetarian. There's something about reading, people can read the same line and get different impression and I read it as funny the way this husband was freaking out about his wife turning vegetarian and the ban on meat in the house, when in fact I'm most probably gonna have the same emotional reaction if a decision was just imposed on me without consultation or agreement or accomodation. Reading this chapter on the husband who didn't even try to understand the wife made me think that's why you shouldn't get married just because it's perhaps what's expected of you in life and because the other person is not bad *sigh* The chapter with the brother-in-law was uncomfortable because of the weird sex thing and the last chapter with the sister was rather heart-breaking. I thought the sister was amazing for still being there for her sister after what happened in chapter 2.
This is one of those book where the ending is open to your own interpretation. Logically it will be a tragic ending, but the hopeful you may just be hopeful. In the chapter of the sister, I think it does make you think of the path of still grounding yourself to this life which may have many miserable moments because there are those who need you or the path of just fuck all this shit and do your own thing. I'm not saying good for this vegetarian lady for choosing her path because I think it's quite tragic what happened to her and I don't think she got all the help she needed that I don't know if her choices were sound, but it does make you think that each of this path is not necessarily better than the other. Anyways, I googled a bit about the book after I finished and AI told me there's some controversy about the English translation - this book was originally in Korean. The author didn't hate the English translation, but AI said there are some who pointed out that it made the story quite different. Like in my last post where I talked about how subtitles may lose nuances, well it would be interesting to know what this book is about in Korean, which unfortunately is not in my skill-set.
What else to write. I'm currently watching Bridgerton season 4. When I was home and on the way to the mall with the cousins, one of the cousin said he's watching that too and he also watches Peaky Blinders which I do too :D We touched about the movie which will come out. I wonder what the cousin thinks about this season 4; I kinda really like the girl, Sophie, and that makes me like Benedict (previously I was just ... okay). It's amazing how Bridgerton can really make you love the characters being featured in the season. I found it funny how we both watch Bridgerton and Peaky Blinders - those two are so different. I'm sure there are other people in this world who do too :D What does it say about us? Nothing much I guess. Human have so many different aspects to them and just one commonality of watching these two series can't give you much insight :D
:) eKa @ 8:31:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, February 28, 2026
I was thinking the other night when I got back in Singapore (rather dramatically like in the movies) about mistaking the illusion for the real thing - like where's the real thing and where's the illusion. I spent one week plus back home for Chinese New Year and I guess I just had surrounded myself with a lot more people than usual (the usual being just me), ate a lot, slept a lot more, and I haven't fully processed the whole experience so weird thoughts came. Another thought that came to my head while I was home was that Indonesia is intense. Initially I thought of it when I thought about the food I ate there, things have taste and an intense one at that, but also about how things are, the emotions that people feel. When you watch Indonesian TVs and see how the society is doing, well there's some crazy shits that people do - like are we okay? But are everyone okay, everywhere? Gosh, I turn to despair quite fast? :D
Anyways, time back home was great. On Chinese New Year day, I couldn't help feeling astonished that me and my closest cousins all wore green, like were we unconsciously telepathic? My mom was of course, couldn't you wear something bright and red and I was like no. As expected (and I was really excitedly expecting), there were more babies and toddlers coming. It made me also think, like there's a period in our lives where me and the extended family are just like in the teens and above ages and for that stretch of time, there's no baby. Now all of us are grown and having babies, so we're seeing babies. I hope there'll be more in the years to come, but who knows, again just like everywhere having kids are expensive. We finished Chinese New Year earlier than last year actually, I think by 6 - 7 PM there's no more visitor, but it was really good. My cousin's aunts who I haven't seen in the longest longest time all came and it's funny how it made the house full with their kids and grandkids, but I really treasure this. I will still not recognize them if I bump into them in the mall, but it's great to have this short moment of meeting them. I'm really thankful. Then there's new people. Somehow my mom has made friends with the neighbour's kids and they came too. My mom mistakenly has been calling the son, Kevin, but his name was not Kevin. It's so funny when we found this out when we heard his sister called him. Kinda nice that my mom sometime has these kids to interact with. My mom is really very social, a trait that I wish I could emulate but I'm like my dad. It's because of mom I guess, the neighbours came. I got ang pow from the neighbour's kid who's married, who doesn't even live there anymore, who's way younger than me! Yes, that was kinda embarrassing, but I don't refuse money :D Is it embarrassing that there's a lot of child in me? Yes sometimes, but I cannot help it. One of my cousin's kid brought 3 balloons as she brought her baby and who's excited with those balloons and played with them? Me! :D
So Chinese New Year was on a Tuesday. We knew that Ramadhan was coming after and it started on a Thursday. What I didn't realize was Ash Wednesday was on the Wednesday and some of the Catholics family needed to go to their mass. It's very interesting living in a place where such different events have a lot of emphasis on people's lives all coming at around the same time. Other things that I did while home was getting new glasses done. I think it's cheaper than in Singapore, but now that I've tried it, I don't think it fits me well :( Then of course I met with the BFFs, always good meeting them, and the the conversation was good. It was so great to be able to meet with Indonesian friends, speaking in Indonesian, and they understanding just because we're Indonesians with our quirks and point of view. Then I also went praying with mom - three times. The most memorable was visiting 8 temples on the 8th day of Chinese New year. I didn't know this was a thing, I never grew up with this, but apparently my mother has been doing it for a few years. This was the day before I was supposed to retun to Singapore and since she promised we wouldn't be back too late, maybe around 4 pm, I decided to join her. It was a long day, we got back at around 7 pm :( I was glad that we made it. It was really a thing, we saw other tour buses bringing people like us. On at least two of the temples, I was full on crying because of the smoke from the joss sticks and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I do not understand how my mom was just okay. The temples we visited were the ones in Jakarta and Tangerang. It was quite amazing for me to see these old temples in Jakarta, because the only one I usually visit with mom is the one in Petak Sembilan, so to see these others just tuck into a normal neighbourhood was something for me. I was thinking if I had gone to one of these with my dad when I was young, but I couldn't remember. I didn't have the brain to take note of the temples we visited, but from memory and searching in Google some of the temples we visited were: Vihara Avalokhitesvara (the first one we visited and located at the end of a road) - the temple provided us with porridge for breakfast and snack, Vihara Bahtera Bhakti in Ancol (established around 1650), Boen Hay Bio in Tangerang (established around 1694), Boen San Bio in Tangerang (established around 1689). I cannot find the other 4. Then what else, I also visited Jakarta Aquarium with mom and her friend. I remember being at its entrance years ago with mom and we're like should we go in, but in the end we decided no, we should bring dad next time. Unfortunately that never happened since dad had to go and die. Anyways, it was my first time seeing capybara and I think axolotl, meerkat, and lemur too - I couldn't remember if I had seen them in Singapore Zoo. Was Jakarta Aquarium great? I wouldn't say so - the one lone meerkat made me really sad and upset. I think the previous Jakarta Sea World was better, but for the price that Jakarta Aquarium in - I'm comparing it to Singapore Oceanarium - I think yeah you do get what you pay for, which is also to say visiting these places in both Jakarta and Singapore are pricey.
Last thing to talk about - TV. I happened to be flipping to the Chinese TV channel, CCTV, on Chinese New Year day thinking of dad who most probably would have been watching it and caught parts of the Chinese New Year Gala. This thing is so well produced that you cannot deny that China is awesome. A thing that shocked me was on one part that I caught, I saw Lionel Richie singing with Jackie Chan and I was like what the ... I can't help thinking this is how Trump has actually made China great. It's the contrast. As we're seeing the US under his leadership creating drama with everyone, looking down at other countries, and thinking they're the king supreme; China appears sane, they're embracing everyone and they're so advanced in many areas that yeah China has become cool. Another thing that shocked me was something that I saw on the local TV. I was shooketh, shooketh I tell you, when I saw in Trans7 that they did a retelling of Indonesian folk tales all in AI. I couldn't believe my eyes because when I first caught it; I happened to be flipping the channel and was in the middle of an episode and didn't see that they did write it in the intro that it was all done in AI, so I had to google it and made sure. Here we are still discussing if it's ethical to do things like this and this TV channel just did it. I was also googling which company did this, but according to Google it's done in-house. I am super curious how it's done, do you get the whole finish product by entering prompts? My guess is it's scene by scene and someone put these scenes together because when I watched the episode on Malin Kundang, he looks a bit different in different scenes. Which AI? How much AI was used? Did they even use AI from the beginning to fix the prompts? What's the iteration process look like? I'm super super curious. I felt uneasy watching it, but I had to admit the production is not bad and you cannot deny it will cost a whole lot more if we're using real people on actual locations, BUT I do not, I DO NOT like replacing human things with AI just because it's the easy and cost-effective thing to do. I had to tell my mom things like this are not real, these are not real people and a lot of things she sees on TikTok may not be real too. Oh my God, explaining AI to your older parents is not easy. I also don't think I did a good job explaining to her why AI can be bad and how it's bad for the environment :( I wish she has a better intuition in suspecting if things are AI, but I'm not sure.
Still about TV, just wanna talk a bit about the things I managed to complete before I went home. I finished Alice in Borderland and I can't say I like it. I watched it following recommendation from la Gioia when we were talking about Squid Game. I actually was very intrigued after the first episode, but as it progressed and I found out what it's about, I didn't like it much. I couldn't understand why the Japanese title, 今際の国のアリス, is being translated to Alice in Borderland but as I watched the episodes, I came to understand that the Japanese title represents the premise of the story better than the English. My Japanese level really struck me watching this series - bad as it is, it is not that useless. Subtitles don't always translate what's being said word by word and when I found that I was hearing different than what the subtitles were putting out, I was surprised at myself. It didn't change the story, but I kinda like my understanding of what's being said than what the subtitles put out. I feel nuances are often gone with translation and it always feels good when I understand a bit more than what the subtitles put out watching things in Indonesian, Italian, French, and English. Another thing that I managed to complete before going home was The American Revolution and I love it a lot. It was such a great production and the whole tone of it was kinda comforting that it makes one relaxed. My knowledge of the American revolution is so little and so it was great learning new things. Like how Lafayette was so so young, at 19 years old, when he joined the American revolution. George Washington was of course significant in the American revolution, but reading the letter he sent to one of his general about pretty much going Daenerys on one of the Indian tribe - well it's ruthless, because it's kinda genocide level. Then I have heard the name Benedict Arnold but again my knowledge was so little that when he changed side, I did gasp a little and was like plot twist! Before he changed side, he did a lot, like even going to invade Canada so when he went full on to the British side, I was stunned. Watching this series, I wished such high-level, unbiased, fully researched production could also be made about Indonesian history, but alas I don't think it will happen in my lifetime.
:) eKa @ 7:50:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, January 22, 2026
I finished reading Orbital by Samantha Harvey. Took too long to complete it; as I wrote before one can complete it in like 3 days, but that's not me. It's not that I do not like the book, I actually like it a lot. The book is quite different. There's no one driving plot. It tells the story of six astronauts in a space station over the course of 24 hours. There's no crisis they need to solve, no calamity to befall them. The only things of note are perhaps the Japanese astronaut losing her mother while in space, one of the Russian cosmonauts noticing a lump in his neck, a typhoon they're tracking in the pacific, but overall things are going as usual in the space station. The whole book was about their thoughts, their observations, and it feels quite meditative to me.
Being that they're in space, they don't have the concept of daytime and night-time as we do, but they still need to follow a 24-hour day at which time the space station will orbit Earth 16 times, which means they could see 16 sunrises and 16 sunsets over Earth in the course of a day. I like how this book taught me and made me picture new things. Being that my geography is on the weak side, I had Google Maps on the ready when they're explaining the places they see. They wrote about proof of human existence on Earth is visible during night-time on Earth where lights from the cities shine. You cannot see borders of countries. The only visible border that they could see is during night-time between Pakistan and India because India has installed lights to mark their border - I really did not know this. Truly, I learn a lot. I learn about a Russian cosmonaut, Sergei Krikalev, who lost his country because of the dissolution of the Soviet Union while he's in space causing him to stay longer in space. It's interesting that all throughout Russia and USA disagreements, they all can still share a space station and work together, though the book did mention notice about certain things like the toilet in the Russian or American parts of the space station is off-limit to the others but the astronauts in the book didn't follow this rule because seriously if you're going to be in space with only a few people, in an environment where very few people could understand, in a place where you need to rely on each other, you really do need to be above all pettiness. Also another thing I learn is that astronaut can not return home alone, that's why the Russian cosmonaut who found the lump decided to keep it quiet because if he needs to be pulled back to earth, some of the others need to accompany him back home. Really there are many things I learn, like the shape of fire in microgravity - all very very interesting.
I really like the book a lot. I like the way it made me imagine things. Like I could imagine the fear one suddenly may have when they're doing the spacewalk, the same fear I felt watching Gravity - the unknownness, the dark, the feeling you're in a place where you could float away to nothingness. One night when I was lying on my bed trying to sleep, I somehow also came to understand how gravity can be something to be missed - just the act of standing, the solidness of planting your feet on the ground, feeling weight. I also like how the book has lines that made me feel like I want to highlight them. Lines like: the conquest of the void, a human being was not made to stand still (I still need to think about this one). There's also this observation from the husband of the other female astronaut who says some people have complicated inner lives that they need to simplify their outer things and there are others (like his wife) who somehow manage to simplify their inner lives so that their outer things can be ambitious and limitless. On first read, I thought I'm the first one with complicated inner life but then I thought could I sometime manage to have simple inner life because I do go on my adventures? Like there's moments where I manage to quiet all my noisy thoughts and feelings and go out there into the world. It's a really really good book and I really enjoyed every moment I spent with it.
:) eKa @ 9:13:00 PM • 0 comments
Wednesday, December 17, 2025
Read a bit more than last year, but still not a lot.
- Night Watch by Jayne Anne Phillips
- The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride
- The Bee Sting by Paul Murray
- James by Percival Everett
The last one was James, it won the 2025 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and I like it. In Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, there's a runaway slave, Jim, who shared some time with Huck on his adventures. James the novel told the point of view of Jim or James (as he chose his name to be), how he got to be with Huck on some parts of that "adventure", as well as his contemplation of self, being a slave, being black, white people and slavery. Now, I didn't really know much about the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, though most probably I had watched his story with Tom Sawyer here and there on TV growing up. When I think about Huckleberry Finn and a river, I would think about the song Moon River, imagining him and Jim on the river with the moon. Google told me the song is actually not really about Huckleberry Finn at all. So anyway I had to read Wikipedia first to get a baseline of what happened to Huck during his adventures.
Off the bat with the book, we learn how the slaves code-switched and they taught this skill to their kids. The dialogue when they spoke to white people took some time for me to understand as I read them and after awhile I got it. James was actually a very knowledgeable person, very well-read, but in his role as a slave he had to play dumb because as the slaves pointed out this would make white people comfortable and comfortable white people were safer for them. Not just how to speak, but also how to act, how to convey information to a white person without directly addressing them. Another theme that plays a key in the novel is the idea of passing - mixed race people appearing white enough that they pass as white people. I had watched a movie about this, but I had difficulty picturing these people in my mind when I read the novel. There's one key revelation that got me saying, hold up, wait, what!?!? It was actually already hinted in earlier chapter, but I didn't catch it until it was explicitly said. I was as stunned as Huck when we're told about it. That got me googling the legality of creating such radical backstory for characters from a published work, but before I did that, I remember that most probably the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is in public domain. Google told me yes indeed, so I guess you can go ahead adapt the work as you like. My additional unrelated thought was this was also how Wicked could happen; the original work it's based on is in the public domain. Anyways, one can argue James' ending was a good one, but there's a lot of tragedies along the way. I could dwell on the bad things, but a slave getting his freedom in his own terms, that's like the ultimate, right. Though somehow I feel James himself would continue to feel the weight of those tragedies for the rest of his life. If there's one thing that I'm disappointed about was that the last we see of James and Huck together was not enough for me, especially considering what we learn about them - that kinda made me worried about Huck, but this book is really not about him.
So for now, I am reading Orbital by Samantha Harvey. It's a thinner book compared to James; normal people will finish it in one week or maybe even 3 days and yet I don't think I can finish it before this year's end. It tells the stories of astronauts in a space station and so far I like it because of the way it makes me learn and picture new things in my head. The astronauts need to keep the same 24-hour day in the space station even though they don't have the same daylight markers as us on earth. In their 24-hour day they would see the earth having 16 sunrises and 16 sunsets - time moves fast for them and yet they have to ground themselves to Earth time. I don't know if it's because I am reading this book but I got to thinking of the markers of my days. My day-to-day is governed by 2 terms. There's a feeling of winding down in December where I feel like I could relax a little, breathe a little, and yet my anxiety and melancholy are already filling dread in me thinking of when January comes, we need to again spin fast for a new term to begin. I think of the life before this and I think maybe before without the distinct terms governing my days, I was perhaps not as depressed (though still in general depressed) and fearful about facing January *sigh* For the past few years I have ended the year thinking how I don't think I could do another year and here we are staring the end of this year and it's kinda amazing that it seems like I could actually make it - praise be to God. Apology for being this dark, I do hope that's not what you experience. Happy holidays everyone, may the new year be great for you all.
:) eKa @ 5:25:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, November 01, 2025
I finished reading The Bee Sting by Paul Murray and gosh the ending :| The story is about this family of four and chapters are from the point of view the daughter, her younger brother, her mom and dad. This is not a well-functioning family though on the outside they may look okay but in the inside they all have their own struggles which they're not really dealing well in their own solitude. The book opens with the daughter and her so-called BFF contemplating why a dad in the town over would kill his own family and then himself. The book ends with a possible answer to that that he's doing it for love (or at least that's how I intepreted the last line), and I call bullshit on that. The immediate feeling that I got reading the ending was that it's a tragedy, which made me rather sad because these people with all their miseries worn me down and as they rushed towards each other in the cold dark stormy forest with some sort of clarity that they want to be with their family, I wanted the best for them, but the end though - it made it feel like a close loop to how the book begins. Then some minutes later still dwelling in the ending, the movie / TV loving watching me thought well I watched enough things to know unless a death is spelled out, i.e., we see the actual dead body, then nothing is confirmed. The shot may have missed. Like this week I watched One Battle After Another, which is really good - even there, a guy who I thought yep dead turned out not dead. All bloodied, but still he walked out alive.
From my perspective, at the end of the book at most 3 people died, at least there's one. I trawled the Internet and some people think the dad kills himself which is an interesting take, because I didn't think of this at all. Sometimes a book doesn't end where the last sentence ends, because the readers may continue with their own take about what happens after the last sentence. So different people can have a different take. The optimistic side of me, which in this case hope it would be the case, think the four of them came out of the forest and be a better family. On the other side, if the dad did indeed somehow kill his son and the daughter get killed too - I don't know, I never get the feel the dad would be someone who would kill himself. He most probably would devote his remainding life to take care of his wife who's the most frantic mentally. Chapters from the point of the view of the mom contains no punctuation whatsoever which makes reading quite difficult. Words fly in right after the other, non-stop, which made me think of me and my thoughts going all over the place, but on the contrary when I write my thoughts here I over-punctuate. Anyways, I asked 4 different AI models and all of them said no confirmed death.
Sometimes when I read something, my mind would wander to a different path, like what would happen if instead of this they do this and this also happened when I read this book. The dad was blackmailed by a guy who was described as handsome beautiful - if ever this book is made into a movie or TV series, I wonder who would be cast. So anyways, maybe this is my dark mind, I was like he has to die. Like, how do you deal with a blackmailer? If you cannot blackmail the blackmailer back, then you need to eliminate him. In the book this guy was also hooking up with a girl who was the mistress of another family man. As I was reading this plot point of the blackmail which I didn't really like because of the of-course this was gonna happen and the nature of the blackmail itself which made you sink in your guts, my mind branched out to seeing the movie of what if this dad found out the other man was also blackmailed and they teamed up to kill this guy, but they were inept, and as they planned there's the whole male-bonding thing about why they're failing in their family. I don't know if it's gonna make a good movie. Given the right actors, maybe?
The Bee Sting is a thick novel and when I was buying books that I was going to read after, I began to appreciate it more from the value-for-money point of view. The books that I was getting where way thinner but they cost around the same :( Like right now, I am reading James by Percival Everett and it's half as thick, but cost like a dollar more. Seriously, books are not cheap. I've become my mom who when I was a kid insisted not buying comics because she wanted more words than pictures. On that recent outing of mine I got 4 books and ended up paying more than 80 bucks and I was like, is this right we're doing this :( My heart broke a little. You could get shoes which has actual use, but if I don't read, what will become of me. I suppose I can borrow the books in the library. One of the nearest libraries to me has many interesting books, so many books that there's not enough lifetime (at least mine) to read a whole shelf of them. When I venture to it from time to time, I do get sad sometimes that no one reads these books. They just sit there. I wonder how many people even wander at these shelves.
:) eKa @ 11:23:00 AM • 0 comments
Tuesday, October 28, 2025
I went home for a short trip during Deepavali weekend last week. It was really hot in Jakarta, stifling hot. Most probably the smog had something to do with it. I just realized that there were more tall buildings that could be seen from the balcony in the direction of Central Park - by Central Park, I wish it's an actual park but it's a mall. In the evenings, the lights from the buildings were kinda interesting but there's a haze upon them and I told mom that's the pollution. Anyways back home, I did manage to meet with the good old friends. My anti-social-ness went home with me and at first I was hesitant but then I realize time is precious and the time I spent with them are really so little and my cousin was willing to organize and Dewi and Emil were also willing to make it happen so off we met for lunch. There's also the Sunday I spent with an aunt, uncle, my cousin and her kids. Ate frogs during this meal with them - a bit stunned that this cousin of mine eats this kinda thing like it's no big deal. It's fine though, it tastes like chicken. Apparently Indonesia is the world's largest exporter of frog meat, who knew. In this outing we explored PIK which stands for Pantai Indah Kapuk - pantai means beach but there's no beach to be found. I was looking forward to going to the beach and seeing water touches sand but no :( On one area we visited, access to the sand was controlled by the cafes and restaurants that line up the shore, like you can access it if you order things from them and even those do not touch the water. I do not feel good about this type of commercialization :( Then we went to the Batavia area - more restaurants, more cafes :| I did try Mixue for the first time ever here. At 20,000 IDR for a large kiwi tea with two toppings, I felt it's kinda cheap and I'm not even looking at it from the Singapore glasses. All and all, as much as I had to drag myself to get out from my desire to just sit at home in front of the TV, I do kinda glad that I spent time with these people who are the true my people and I am very much thankful that they also made the time to spend time with me.
That's not to say I did not sit in front of the TV a lot, which I did. I still parked myself in front of the Harry Potters when they came on - it made me realize I really look forward for the TV series. We need justice for Hermione because her contribution with the potion riddle in the Sorcerer's Stone isn't shown in the movie! Then there's also the Friends, ER, The West Wing, Frasiers reruns on top of what's on Animal Planet, Food Network. Back home I try to consume as much of cable TV as I can. Even with the many channels, I still miss TLC. What other things to say - a weird thing, two Jehovah's Witnesses sisters came knocking on the fence and sorry I had to shut them down quick. I didn't know Jehovah's Witnesses exist in Indonesia, I guess they do everywhere. I had experiences with missionaries coming to the house back when I was a kid and so no, I have to decline, not gonna go through that again. This reminded me of something unusual I saw. I didn't buy luggage allowance for this trip, all carry-on, so I took the MRT to get to Changi and when I got off the train I saw two Mormon sisters and this was unusual to me because the ones I usually see in Singapore are the Mormon brothers, in fact I think I even once saw them in a busway in Jakarta too. Seeing the sisters were my first time, but I guess Singapore is harmless, they'll be fine here. By the way, I just googled, Jehovah's Witnesses are banned in Singapore - wow, I did not know that. It's totally okay in Indonesia now though it was previously banned too. You know what I would like talking to these missionaries, is not for me to get the conversion talk but just to ask how they are, what it's like doing what they're doing because I honestly respect what they do. It must be tiring and it takes a lot of guts and it most probably feels futile, but to go on and do the work and being young as they are - I respect that, a whole lot.
Back in Singapore, the down swing was hard to shake and I was thinking about how I need to stay in the moment. Yes, hearing me say that does make me want to roll my own eyes, but I do rush ahead. I rush ahead with my worry for a thing 8 months from now (what's the point of me being so stressed now, every sane person would say). I rush ahead with a thing I want to do next year (although it's good to have something to look forward to). Even on these last few months we have in 2025, I feel like I am rushing ahead with things to do not today. I need to stay in the moment and feel and grasp right now because if not I would be missing it without even having experienced it. I just feel this even more right now. I don't know, it's almost like wanting time to stop or maybe slow down which could be a contradiction in the face of me actually not enjoying my day-to-day, but these moments are also important. We'll see how I do. Talking about wanting to slow down, just yesterday I saw that the bakery where I got my bread from has started selling ginger bread cookies with merry christmas sticker on them. It's crazy, they could have done ones with Halloween theme on them, but no. Human's whole life has become about rushing from one thing to another? *sigh*
:) eKa @ 8:23:00 PM • 0 comments
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