Tuesday, January 10, 2023
I think it was yesterday during lunch that I overheard 2 girls talking about how they're feeling positive about the start of the new term in the university. One of them said strangely she felt full of life and her friend agreed, that she was too. They were feeling optimistic. Hearing that, I was like (I guess) rolling my eyes. They're at most 21 I think, maybe not even 20 yet. I know no matter how old you are, it comes with its own set of problems and benefits, but I guess hearing them there's jealousy at these people being young *sigh* I, on the other hand, was already feeling drained on the first week of January :( I actually got quite a good stretch of break at the end of last year which allowed me first and foremost to sleep longer and relax a bit, but as the new year and real life were approaching, anxiety just started coming back pounding and as mentioned, in that first week a truckload of shittiness was conveniently dropped on me, arrgghh.
In Indonesia, I think you may often hear tahun baru, semangat baru. I would translate that as new year, new vigour. That, I positively (maybe better negatively?) do not have. It annoyed myself having to start the new year getting pissed with people. Like so much anger and frustration, but such is my situation and maybe my temper and emotion that I couldn't control. Don't ask me about new year resolution, I never have one. I do look forward to going home for Chinese New Year, though the still expensive ticket price annoys me too. Many things annoy me - inflation, the increase in goods and service tax among other things :( I feel life is getting harder here in Singapore, but I guess everywhere else in the world there are many people who would be saying the same thing. Anyways, as usual nothing interesting to report. I think the more I write the more negative it'll become anyway, so I'll just stop here. Hope your 2023 has started with you feeling full of life and it's going splendidly ahead :)
:) eKa @ 8:40:00 PM •
bluesky.
I don't take being here for granted, it might be the last one. It's really beyond my imagination that God has taken me to all these places and back - oh the journey we did together, thank You God
made a mistake today and I only have myself to be disappointed with :( I wasn't raised this way and somehow I become this :( thank God the merciful still gave me a good alternative
finally a little bit of sun and blue sky and it's most probably the only one I would get here - side note: feel quite sad about Pope Francis, such an inspiration to be humble and down to earth :(
adieu Paris, je ne sais pas s'il y a une prochaine fois - si non, je pense que je suis contente :)
knocked my tea all over the table, but a girl quickly came to help me clean up and even said sorry about my tea - it gives me hope about these kids
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from the poem 大阿蘇 (おおあそ) by 三好達治 (みよしたつじ):
もしも百年が
この一瞬の間にたったとしても
何の不思議もないだろう
that line is just ... it stucks with me
a good present - bought a cake and getting a slice of cake for free - I know the universe has love for me :)
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photos.
archives.
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