Sunday, July 26, 2015

Shit Storm

Hello guys, how is it going? How was your lebaran long weekend last week? Pretty good I hope. As usual, I don't have anything interesting to say, but it's been a shitty week, you would have known if you read my twitter feed, but there's only so much you can write in twitter, so I am writing a longer outpouring of emotion and thoughts here, though perhaps it's not the wisest thing to do.

So I've been reading The Martian by Andy Weir. Oshie said he stopped reading it because the writing wasn't so sophisticated. Well the parts where it's from the point of view of the stranded astronaut, Mark Watney, was pretty good but then it turns out there were chapters from the point of view of everyone else and yes those were not very captivating. This week I reached the part where the rocket that NASA built went kaboom in space because they did it in such a rush, without adequate testing and evaluation. Reading those made me think if it's a prophecy for me. I had a very rough week. One time in french class, in Manu's class, we're talking about our ways to cope with stress. I answered, je mange, I eat. This week I reached a new kind of stress level where I really didn't have any appetite to eat. I just lost it. I didn't feel like eating during lunch and I wasn't hungry during dinner. By the second day of me having to deal with the shit storm, I had to force myself to eat, especially since the night before I think I didn't sleep. I thought I needed to do my best to make sure I won't fall sick. It's all just so shitty. I prayed a lot and God did was nice to me that he helped make one thing that I really dread to be rather painless. It's still not clear blue sky right now. I'm still very worried. I find it very bad to think very badly of people, but right now I really lose trust on some people. Even worse and as much as I don't want to feel this way, I feel that some people may just have bad intention in them. It's very bad and mean to think this way, but that's where I am right now. I'm also thinking of how big is this shit storm really is, are there more people whom I cannot trust, who are not making things easy for me. Again I really don't want to think this way. It's better to think the best of everyone, but I just can't shake this off. Maybe what's happening to me it's a result of my bad karma or perhaps I need to experience this to accumulate some good karma ahead in the future, I don't know. Everyday I pray to God and I ask for calmness, mental fortitude, and kindness. He's the only one I got and indeed He's the only one who can help me. Well, so that's it peeps, that's the shit storm that's been surrounding me.

On other news, I haven't been to the movie because there aren't many good movies these days. I did go to watch Ant-Man last weekend. I didn't want to, really didn't want to watch another superhero movie with the emphasis on explosion and stuff, but there wasn't much choice. It turned out to be not so bad, it's not obnoxious and that alone makes it quite pleasant. I always like Paul Rudd, he and his crew in this movie are very likable and they make for a very charming likable movie. I've also been watching The Following every day. Season 1 was shown on local tv here, of course with a lot of censor, so now I'm catching up on season 2 on my own. It's perhaps very unwise and unhealthy for my stress level when I watch stories about psychopathic and sociopathic serial killers every day especially with the days I've been having, but I'm glad to report I haven't been tempted to get a knife and start stabbing people. There's a cult called Korban, I don't know where they chose this name from, but if it's from the Indonesian word, I would have liked it if they pronounced it correctly. They pronounced it in the westerner kinda way and it's just disappointing for me to hear. Though season 2 is rather messy, I do love watching Kevin Bacon a lot and also the Mike Weston character. On a lighter news and definitely much better for my stress level, I have been watching movies with Matthias Schoenaerts in them for 3 weekends in a row now. I watched A Little Chaos, Suite Française and Far from the Madding Crowd. Maybe next week I get to watch Rust and Bone. When I google his pictures, I don't think he's the most handsome man around, but in films there's just something about it, maybe it's the eyes. I just love watching him now, there's something very comforting :P

So that's about it peeps. I'm going home for the National Day long weekend. It's the big 50 birthday for Singapore this year and yet this is the year I decided to skip town. Well, I was here for the last 14 birthdays, so as much as this year would be bigger and more amazing, I just have no interest. I am looking forward to go home, to eat home cooked meal, to just be safe and away from everyone. As usual, I wish you guys glorious days ahead. Buonanotte!

:) eKa @ 8:32:00 PM •