Troubled Heart

I was wrong in my last post when I wrote that I had like 20-30 pages to go in The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. Turned out I had like 100 pages to go but hustle I did and I finished the last few pages today. It was really really good, vividly written, even though the few pages at the beginning weren't that captivating and the last few pages at the end wasn't so easy to read. The last few pages had nothing to do with the story but more about thoughts from the main character, like things I write here in this blog, but his thoughts were much intelligent I suppose. Anyway the title of this post is in relation to the main character of the book, Theo Decker. The story began kinda at the end and then it flashbacked into the beginning of when Theo's life changed at 13 years old. He was with his mom in a museum when there's a bomb attack. His mom died and he ended up getting out of the museum with a small painting. The story then continued to when he had to live with his estranged father in Vegas, made friend with a Russian boy at school, Boris. His story had accompanied me throughout many lunches alone when I quickly finished my food and checked in on him. I was sad at how his life turned with Boris, they got high and stole things, pretty much wasted their potential especially since both of them seemed to be smart. Then Theo's dad died and he decided to go back to New York and the story progressed and we met adult Theo. He did more drugs and became not a really good person because he cheated on his business. Towards the ending another big trigger in his life was when he met Boris again and they had to deal with the painting. Boris had became a criminal whom you perhaps don't really hate much because he just came across as fun and loyal and he was really loyal through and through so that's admirable. I had my disapproval about Boris but the ending reminded me that Theo had also been a dishonest person. He's perhaps more hidden in his illegal dealing but he and Boris were both criminal. Reading how Theo's life progressed, I had sadness about how he was becoming and also because he's so troubled. I guess I'm a sucker for people with a very heavy heart because though it's not the same situation, I can understand the sadness, despair, restlessness. We're kindred spirit in a way. There are other things happening in the book, but I don't want to spoil it for you. I really want to see this made into a tv series because then it won't be contained to 2 hours and such if it's a film. Boris would be a really interesting character. I would love to see this gregarious character comes alive, though I cannot picture anyone playing him. I imagine someone like Nicholas Hoult for the role of Theo. Anyways, so that made it 7 books this year, did more than the mission of 5 books, well done me :D

Went to watch Seventh Son today. Went to watch it knowing nothing about the premise except for the fact that Prince Caspian (Narnia reference there, actor's name is Ben Barnes) was in it. He looked good with shorter hair. Turned out Jon Snow (Game of Thrones reference, actor's name is Kit Harington) was in it too. Too bad he died like within 5 minutes of the starting of the movie. Yeah, Prince Caspian is the main character here. I found it to be quite boring despite of the many famous people in it. I was sleepy watching it but it could be because of the McDonald's hot cakes I had for breakfast. McDonald's breakfast always make me sleepy. It's annoying that there aren't many good movies to watch in this period especially since I have a 2-week break from Japanese classes. I should be consolidating my notes and finished up my homework and yet I haven't done any of that. I found myself to be really struggling to keep my head afloat in Japanese classes :(

This end of the year is of course not a happy one for Indonesia. It's really sad what happened with AirAsia 8501. Yesterday news that some wreckage and dead bodies were found gave me mix feeling. Relieved that there's clarity and it's not like being in the unknown like MH 370, but I was feeling really sad because it's such a tragic news. It's really really sad. Hearing the story of some of the passengers, it's really sad. This also makes me feel rather ungrateful that I don't think much about flying. It's so random and can happen to anyone. Around 7 planes were in the area when the plane found trouble and this was the plane that didn't make it. The flight path and the area where the plane got into trouble is similar to the flight path from Jakarta to Singapore, the flight that I've taken the most. I have been safe in all my travels so far and yet very often I think nothing of it and didn't thank God for the protection. It's very very sad and this AirAsia flight hit me harder than what happened to MH 370 or MH 7. On a side note: the Indonesian search and rescue team seemed to be doing a good job. They seem to be very organized and capable. It must be a difficult job for them especially with the bad weather, but they seem to be going strong and so committed in their effort and that's good to see.

So it's the last day of 2014. As usual a new year freaks me out because I'll be older. I reckon this week will still be okay. The last 2 weeks have been pretty okay, yes okay even though in the last post I sounded sad. I'm not looking forward for next week. Told my cousin about it and she said with the new year we should have new drive and spirit. I don't know where she gets her positivity from. She was born 9 days before me, so we have the same chinese sign and we're both pisces, but our outlook in life is so different. What's wrong with me?!? Okay enough sad depressing ranting. Chanced upon this song like maybe last week in Radio Rai and been hearing it a few times since. When I listened more to the lyrics, it's like a sign for me to be brave especially when I feel rather scared on doing something. I'm building up that courage and I think I will make this song as the first song in the soundtrack playlist for the plan I hope to execute. Some parts of the lyrics that spoke to me:
There's a place I go to where no one knows me
It's not lonely
It's a necessary thing
It's a place I made up
Find out what I'm made of

:) eKa @ 8:50:00 PM •


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