The Way Way Back

Forced myself to roll out of bed at 8.35 ish this morning and then rushed to get out of the house by 9. It was hard and I wonder how on earth did I manage to go for all my Saturday classes for many many years. 9 was when french class started. Yes, I was most of the time late but I made it there. My laziness is so worrying since I am planning to get back into classes next month. Not sure yet what and when the timing will be, but I would rather it be a morning class. Anyways, what's with the early morning start? A movie was planned, but then as I was in a battle of whether or not I should get up, I reached a point that the movie wasn't necessary. It's weird how my head was filled with so many movies that I thought I wanted to watch, but when the time came to make a decision, I found myself not interested with any of the movies anymore since I couldn't make any decision. In the end I thought I could make it. The early part was necessary because I wanted to pray first. The thing I missed the most, perhaps the only thing I miss about my previous chapter, was that the temple was just a short walk to the back. It was really useful to kinda help me calm down a tiny bit, to kinda tell myself that there's hope, that things will be taken care of. I often went out of it feeling slightly better because I have told God my worry and request for help. Of course you can always pray anywhere anytime, but really I feel that there's a whole different feeling you get when your prayer require you to physically do stuff. Like the muslims having to stand and go down on their knee and bow, the catholics having to kneel and making the sign of cross or using their prayer beads, or the buddhist having to hold the joss sticks and stand, those things really help you to be more focused and use that time to really say your prayer solemnly. It's a whole different feeling than when I sit on my bed every night and pray and to be honest I don't feel better after I pray before I go to sleep. I often get more anxious and perhaps that's the reason why I don't sleep well on most nights :(

It got me thinking how atheists in my situation and feeling the way I feel deal with their issues. What do they do? Another thing that got me thinking is that even though I rarely have a good cry, I actually shed tears really easily. Every time I watch something, it's very easy to find me tearing up. I wonder if my compounded issues do manifest in this way as well. Like, it's not just that I don't sleep well, I also become easily moved by the smallest thing that I cry. Maybe it has something to do with having to keep the facade that I'm alright. I know, though perhaps everyone don't or don't understand the magnitude it, that I'm not fine. I'm really not fine. Anyways, I teared up a few times during the movie which I ended up watching today, The Way Way Back. I love the movie and glad that I watched it. It actually has a lot of famous people in it. The story is about this awkward boy who went on a summer vacation with his mom, mom's boyfriend, and mom's boyfriend's daughter. The summer house belong to mom's boyfriend and apparently the people in that neighbourhood had known each other for a long long time and often meet for the summer. Mom's boyfriend's was played by Steve Carell who at the beginning of the movie, asked the boy if he had to rate himself between 1 to 10, what number he would give himself. The boy said 6. Steve Carell's character said the boy is a 3, because he's not putting himself out there and he was telling the boy to not hang around the parents so much and he needs to play more with the kids his age during the summer. It was kinda sad hearing that conversation but I was still ambivalent by that scene alone if Steve Carell's character was gonna be good or bad. Could it be he's the type of character who appears bad but has very good intention. In the end, his character turned out to be bad. Anyway, that got me thinking what I would give myself. I wanted to give myself a 9, but then I thought perhaps 8, since I'm not beautiful. The most interesting thing about me is that I am actually pretty interesting. It's just some people are not, so we don't gel. Then I thought perhaps it's just me thinking that way, like the boy. Perhaps people do think of me as a 2 or 3, because like the boy I just can't seem to mix with people.

That of course changed when the boy finally found his so called world. Crazy people who could accept him because he's weird too. He ended up working in this outdated water park after he got to know Sam Rockwell's character whom I think was the coolest character there. He's so funny. Second to him was Allison Janney's character. Anyway, the boy began to look happy and not so sad anymore, until of course the climax of the movie. However things still had a happy ending for the boy and his mom. At least that's what I hope. They had to end their summer and they did leave it on a good note, however there are issues in the boy's life and real world is different from the fun playful world filled with people he gets along well. So perhaps if the boy comes back to the water park each summer, then its impacts would really be taking a hold in his life. If not, he will just eventually go back to the sad boy he was. Why on earth am I analyzing the character of the movie after it ends? I guess I am just always drawn to that awkward alone sad people, because I am one and I do so very wish for my own happy ending. It got me thinking why the title is The Way Way Back. I think going back seemed to apply more to the boy's mother. Could it be it's the way way back to the boy in a sense that it's a way way back for him to find a way to be happy? As I said, I do relate to this a lot.

Anyway, another reason for today's post is to put some pictures from Gardens by the Bay's Mid-Autumn display which I visited last week. I managed to squeeze in a visit before the road closure period due to the F1 race. The F1 race does demand a lot from down town Singapore. Anyways, I thought the flower dome would be more interesting, but there weren't really any lanterns display inside it. It is quite a nice thing to visit the 2 domes after dark, with not many people being there, but yeah since it's dark you can't really see the beautiful colors of the plants and flowers. They should lower entrance fee after sundown. Anyway you can see more pictures here. Below are the simple lanterns inside the flower dome and one of the smaller dragon fly in the main flower display.



Outside there are some lantern displays. I'm not sure what's the the theme, if there is a theme. There's the cute swans and also the hardworking ants, but there were also dinosaurs and the western zodiacs. I did feel that sometime it felt tacky, but I suppose it's alright, maybe kids really do like these kinda things, or perhaps not.



This below is from the bridge that connects the compound to the main street. It has beautiful lights on it which I do think quite fancy. So anyway, that's it guys. Take care!

:) eKa @ 8:47:00 PM •

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