C'est Mars ... Mon Dieu!

It's March ladies and gentlemen. Oh God? I didn't like it when this month rolled into town because it's my birthday month. I've never liked getting older even since I was a young girl. This time around, I felt it pretty bad. What's worse than being 30? Being 31. It feels so final. That's it, you are getting older and older. Of course the usual phrase people utter to people who dread their birthday will be something many of you will say to me. Age is but a number. How old you really are is not defined by your age. Yeah whatever! How old you are physically is still defined by your age, no? So is the physical change of being older is what freaks me out? Perhaps. My cousin had her birthday some days ago and I'll have mine next week. I had a few plan about it. Nothing fancy, actually it involves doing errands. I do hope it will go much better than it went last year, which was pretty bad for me :(

Anyways, the kind la Gioia contacted me and told me she wanted to treat me for dinner on my birthday. I asked her for today instead :P It's been a long time since I spent some time with a person where we can have conversation face to face (anything text-based over the internet or phone doesn't count for me). I couldn't even remember when was the last time I spent time with people. All those movies I told you I watched, I pretty much watched all of them on my own. So anyway, today we also went to watch Oz the Great and Powerful in Imax 3D. It's a first time for la Gioia to try an Imax cinema. We didn't have a good experience actually because we got dizzy watching it. I know I will end up in a 3D cinema again sometime in the future, but seriously I feel it's not really that worth it to watch a 3D film. It's more expensive, it does not necessarily enhance your viewing experience, and more often than not it becomes a torturous experience that ruins the movie for you :( That being said, I still love James Franco very much and Oz the Great and Powerful is not a bad movie. The scenery of Oz is slightly reminiscence of the landscape in Avatar. I love the flowers. The munchkin's song was also reminiscence of the Oompa Loompa's songs in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and that can be explained by the fact that the composer was the same guy.

I think the reason why I cannot say I love the movie wholeheartedly is the fact that I didn't really like the story much. It has a happy ending depending on which way you look at it. It's just I sympathize so much to Mila Kunis' character. Yes she's bad but it's somewhat not her fault. Once she ate the apple, all her kindness disappeared. Also she became that way because she was heartbroken and James Franco's character was not exactly that morally upright. Yes he did good in the end, but I didn't see him trying to explain things or say sorry for being quite a jerk. I just feel he didn't exactly atone for his mistakes and yet in the end he got fame, glory, and love. Another thing, when you are dropped in a foreign land and there are 2 parties saying they are the good side and the other side is the bad side, shouldn't you kinda be a bit more skeptical and research things through rather than just follow along? I wonder if I am the only one who think this way. Actually no, I am sure there are other people in this world who would sympathize with Mila Kunis' character and think James Franco's character is quite an ass (a little bit). I wonder if we are wrong to think that way.

What else to share? I've been feeling sickly. Haven't been able to sleep since from back in Indonesia. Got really weak with flu some days ago that I put so many drugs into my body. They helped me fall to sleep but darn, even them cannot help me to sleep through the night into the morning :( I seriously doubt I'm the type of person who can sleep less than 6 hours a day and be all ready to go. In fact, I'm pretty fatigue in most of my days :( Not really sure what I can do about it. I think it's all mental but yeah I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to talk about life because my life ahead still looks gloomy for me. I do have this thought formulating in my head that perhaps God wants me to do things on my own. I wonder why people can't do nice things for me, but today la Gioia did something nice, so my thoughts on things like that are often negated. Still, I don't know. I really feel God wants me to venture out on my own. It's scary but if you put things into context, it'll get easier to see it through. I know it doesn't make sense to any of you. I have so much things inside my head and heart that I don't tell anyone. When I was back at home in Indonesia, my aunt came a few days before I went back to Singapore and she said that she felt I kept a lot things inside and didn't share them out. I didn't argue to the fact that I feel the many people whom I would like to sit down and listen to me say things, don't really give time to sit down and listen to me. I get it that people have their own woes and it's mighty hard to hear people moan and complain and be all sad. I mean it's such a downer right, but somehow I wish they could just. I mean, I've listened to other people that left me feeling exhaustive after the "session". I wonder why the universe didn't give me someone in return. I guess the key is as the Indonesian says it, don't expect anything in return.

Okay peeps, I'm gonna stop now. I'm feeling dizzy. I've taken 3 different types of medicine since I reached my room, but the headache pill doesn't seem to be kicking in :( You guys take care 'aight. Since it's March, it's time for Águas de Março, whatever version you may have. I actually have only listened to it for the first time this month today. This could be my favorite bossa nova song. I am hoping that one day there would be an Indonesian version of it :P My only Italian version is actually the one of Mina. The title was changed to say rain instead of water. There's also the french version, Les Eaux de Mars, of which the one from Stacy Kent is pretty and the one from Sergio Mendes and Zap Mama in the Encanto album is interesting.

:) eKa @ 6:44:00 PM •

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