Saturday, July 07, 2012

Jodoh

Jodoh is the Indonesian word which means soulmate or "the one". However in Indonesian, this word can be used to say something is fated to be and this word is also used for other things not related to love and even for trivial things. At least that's what I, my family, and friends do. I think other Indonesians use the word the same way too. Example of things that Indonesians may use "jodoh" for are things like house, work, car, friends and for trivial things like when you went early to the nasi lemak stall before the queue was long and you saw that there were many fried eggs but when you got there you were not allowed to buy it even though the person before you could buy it, because what were left were already reserved by someone who called for it. So in this case, we could say the fried egg is nggak jodoh (not fated) with you. Yes, even in english to use the word fate in relation to a fried egg is overly dramatic. I remember one time Gascoigne was stunned that I used that word when we were just a few minutes late to a book store and it's already closed. For the malay-speaking him, the word "jodoh" is strictly for soulmate.

So what's with all this "jodoh" talk. This was the post that I had been thinking and wanting to write for sometime but I couldn't. Remember of the wait I mentioned in the last post? Well due to that, I wasn't sure how things were going. However this week, I finally got answers. Let's just say that I am ending a chapter of my life and opening a new one. It feels like it's fated or as the Indonesians would say that despite all the processes and steps which felt uncertain at times, this finally comes back to me, so it's really "jodoh". I mentioned before that I've been in Singapore for 12 years now, I went from a dragon year to a dragon year again. I'm completing a cycle of the chinese calendar and I don't know what fate brings me, but as I go to the beginning of a new cycle or ending the previous one, I am also coming back to the place where I started here in Singapore. As usual, I am filled with fear and anxiety about what will come to me. People around me are excited for me and I guess many are relieved that it works out for me. I, myself, have to admit that I feel pretty relieved 'cause feeling rejected is perhaps the second worst feeling after worry or being afraid for me. I really hope that all will work out well. I guess I will be reading a lot the words of encouragement that my cousin, Marlisa, penned for me. Also, I guess I will be playing Jesus Takes The Wheel (Danny Gokey's version) and Buka Semangat Baru a lot. Also I think I will be praying a lot. I think or I hope all the fear which I am having right now will just tire me out and when the time comes, I will just feel numb. Please God help me.

This is also different from the last time I did this and I guess it's a good thing it's this way. I do wish I could have some time for myself but alas it's not to be, which makes me think maybe it's time to stop asking and just accept things as it is now. It's time to pay my due for all the blessing I have been receiving without working much for it ... perhaps. Speaking of the last time I did this and also perhaps in relation to the last post when I kinda talked about how some things need to happen so that other things can happen, well not much relation actually but I couldn't help thinking that perhaps things need to be aligned for me in some way for things to happen. Yeah it still doesn't make sense as I wrote that. It's just my random brain got me thinking that the last time I did this, Mr. N was my french teacher. He's my teacher again now. However the past few weeks, he was away on a holiday and that's when I had to endure the excruciating wait. Then last week, we finally had class with him again and this Monday I got my news. I remembered telling LM, he's like my lucky star :P which made me wonder how this gonna play out in the future because I am planning to stop attending class regularly this year. Well, I guess he'll be the first to say, "yay! I'm lucky for you but I'm sure you gonna do fine in the future" :)

Speaking of french class. Today me and XF and Phil signed up for DELF preparatory class which gonna takes place every friday evening starting 17 August. I don't know how my brain gonna work from 7 to 9 pm but since I am fearful about the exam, I think I really have to take this class. Phil failed his and he's redoing it, so it's pretty scary. It seemed we'll be getting Mr. V. I was actually kinda hoping it would be Mr. C (well perhaps a tiny bit). As discussed with XF, it's a love and hate relationship with Mr. C but I know he would whip us good. Oh well, let's just take things one step at a time. On other news, this coming week seem to gonna be pretty social. It's weird that when I am social, it becomes very social and when I'm not, it's like I'm always in my cave. Oshie is coming to town for something and we planned to meet for lunch sometime earlier next week. Then Starfish chatted with me a bit yesterday. Man! perhaps it's been 4 years since I last talked or saw him and so we're planning dinner with some of the peeps on Friday in people's favourite place Tambuah Mas. I am so glad of my achievement in making all of them like this place :D We do miss tahu telor :P Hope people will come, seriously why do they have to be so difficult? Anyway the fasting month will start soon, so it may get difficult to meet with Starfish and Gascoigne. So yeah, it'll be nice to meet all of them.

Nothing much else to say about life, same old same old. Watching Opera Van Java Awards now but the connection is not so good :( after which I think I'll be watching Indonesian Idol finale. I got hooked into it last week but I didn't watch it from beginning to end. Watching it, I have to say that the production of it is pretty awesome, especially when I think of Singapore Idol. The finale is between these 2 girls, 10 years apart from each other. Like American idol, most of the winner have been boys. In fact I think this is the first girls final. I think I am rooting for Regina, the older of the 2. I think she's very likable and no doubt the girl has some pipes :) I don't know what time result will be out though. The thing about Indonesian, it's like now people don't even try to be on time and hide the "jam karet" (rubber time) mentality. TV programmes often don't start on the time they supposed to and it changes every day, it could be 8 pm one day, and 8:15, 8:05, 8:10 the next day and so on. As for Indonesian idol last week, that live show ran pretty long, I don't know how they did it and how they had the energy to do it (was it 4 hours?). I have a 1 hour difference so it's hard for me when they end pretty late but I think even for Indonesian standard the late ending can be hard too especially since Indonesians generally start the day super early. Alright then, hope you guys have a great weekend and a great week ahead. Oh yeah, Jakarta is having a governor election next week. It seems to be pretty exciting. Too bad Jakartans living oversea don't get to vote. Okay peeps, take care! Ciao!

:) eKa @ 10:00:00 PM •