Saturday, April 23, 2011

One Hundred Years of Solitude

Hello peeps, how have your easter weekend been going? My mind goes to my primary and junior high school days. We always had celebration for easter and it's really fun. Do you once awhile miss your childhood days? It would be fun to be decorating some eggs now.

Moving on. The title of the post is from a book which I recently finished, One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez. I got it as a christmas present for myself. Well some people may think it took a long time for me to finish it but I think it's pretty fast for me :P The book got me thinking and doing stuff which I'm not gonna elaborate here. It's a pretty interesting book, especially the ending because I totally didn't see it coming. I guess I was expecting some enlightening ending like in Paulo Coelho's books but the ending of this book wasn't like that. There's like a twist in the ending and I thought it was really good and sad at the same time. The story is about the different generations in a family, from when they began to when they ended. It's pretty sad because I think each of the characters had a very sad and tragic ending in their lives. The family just seemed to be experiencing one bad thing after another. One character that struck me the most was the main matriarch, Úrsula. She's so awesome. She's such a strong woman both in characters and mind and she's simply stronger than any of the male characters though they get more focus in the story. I'm glad that Úrsula lasted longer in the book. I admire her a lot, her strength when she chased after her son who ran away, when she confronted his son who abused his power, when she tried to keep her family together in such turmoil, and her comfort and openness in instilling good values to her children, grandchildren, and great great grandchildren. It's an interesting book and at times I can relate to the characters who felt restless in their lives. Somehow I feel that no matter how old I'll be, whichever stage my life is, I'll always have that feeling of restlessness. Some of the characters in the book buried themselves in some kind of work but I don't think it eased their racing mind and it just felt sad :( On other part, the story ended with the fact that the whole story of the family had been written before it even began. All the family members had in one point or another tried to decipher the notes but they couldn't to. It was revealed at the end when the last surviving member of the family was dying. I wonder if such things are not meant to be known. I mean if you have known how your whole entire life story is, you would perhaps have tried to change its course, no? It got me thinking on my way home today. But still I would like to know about one part of my life, I'm just wondering if I'll be okay :( Hmmm ... I've just been in a rather downhearted mood these days, since last week actually :(

Anyways, today started with the last class in this level. We had a test. Mr. M was super nice, I'm not really sure why he's that nice actually. I wonder if all the whining really got to him or he just wanted us to do amazingly well, which we all did. Everyone is like scoring 90 and above. First he allowed us to do the writing part at home. With the help of a dictionary and my notes, I actually made so few mistakes that I was totally in awe. I managed to go through many lines without any mistake, so that's amazing for me. Then he, as many of the teachers I have had, left the class for some time, so that allowed people to "discuss", but the worst possible thing (I think) was that people eventually just openly discussed the questions and answers when he was actually sitting in the room. I don't really know how to comment on this. I felt bad but perhaps it really didn't matter to him. Oh well. We'll be having Mr. C after this. I'm not sure how he's like. Hope he's cool. We have reached advanced actually and it's unbelievable. I remembered the day when we were getting the book we're using currently and I wondered if I was actually gonna get through it. I actually did. Time really flies? I'm not sure if our french knowledge warrant us a place in advanced class. I think we're not that good. I don't think I'm that amazing. I still don't understand most of my teachers when they speak and listening comprehension is almost always devastating for me. I'm trying to recall how it was like when I was studying Italian. I think though perhaps I couldn't understand a movie or a listening exercise, I could always kinda understand my teachers. I hope I get better but sometime all the memorization are too demanding for the lazy me. It's hard to push my brain to store all these information :(

Anyway it's a one-week break for my classmates. Except for LM, everyone seemed to be on board and I'm happy about it. I'm sad though that LM will not be in the class anymore, because she's kinda been my constant, but she does have her bundle of joy to welcome. I'm so happy for her considering all she's been through. One-week break, but it's a longer break for me. I wonder if I should elaborate it here, but perhaps I should. For my 29th birthday present this year, I'm getting myself a chance to cross the number one thing on my life list currently, which is to go to Barcelona and see La Sagrada Família. So that's the plan :) I'm leaving next Friday and this time it's not a solo trip. Mau asked if she could join me and I said yes. It makes sense economically and it allows me to cover more area. So this time around, I'll be going to France (staying in Paris, Avignon, and Marseille), Spain (staying in Barcelona), and Italy (staying in Milan and Rome), and I'll have a 7-hour plus transit time in Amsterdam which I hope gives me enough time to go to the Keukenhof garden. I really look forward to be back in Italy again, mi manca tantissima!!! We'll hoping to visit other cities and areas along the way. All are already planned and I really hope all will work out well. I'm looking forward for it but as usual I have other things to deal it. So until next Friday, I'm just gonna keep it cool and focus on the tasks that I have to deal with. Though Mau will be with me on this, there'll be time when we'll be on our own different paths. It kinda made me nervous but I'm also looking forward to it. Somehow when you have other people to think of, you perhaps get too comfortable and rely on the fact that someone else would be there for you but the truth is and this is what's really important for me, I should always be able to do things on my own. That comfortable feeling made me rather nervous and worried about doing things alone, but I have to fight through it. I know I would have loved the experience of exploring alone. Anyway, there's a crazy person starting fire at La Sagrada Família a few days ago :( I really hope they will not close the church because that would mean I don't get to go inside it!!! That would be heartbreaking. Though the list did say, just go to Barcelona and see La Sagrada Família, I would really really really want to enter it and see its inside, so please please God, please!

So can we talk about my feeling now, please? I've been feeling rather heartbroken. It's really stupid actually. I've seen it happening on other people and I have listened to people pouring their heart out on the same thing and now it's happening to me. It's stupid!!! I can remember the day it all started and I remember thinking that I'd be fine because there's no way I was gonna fall for this guy and in the end I did and it's so unfair!!! I remember Astley once told me that I had this huge wall that made it hard for people to enter and yet this guy managed to tear it down easily. As usual with my luck, nothing is gonna happen and I can't help wanting to scream, WHY??!?!? WHY GOD? I just hate this heartbroken feeling that I have right now, this feeling when your heart is in pieces :'( Still, I couldn't help feeling that God's timing IS perfect. In my last Italian trip, I got to get away when my closest allies were leaving. This time, I have this Europe trip to get me out of the mess I've made. I don't know how I'll be when I come back. I'm thinking I'll be more depressed but we should just be hopeful, right? I mean what else can we do but be hopeful. Be hopeful that something perfect and amazing will come our way and even if they don't, we're still gonna be alright. I'm way too heartbroken right now to be able to say that with any conviction. So I'm just gonna stop now. I hope you guys are having better days. If not, just take comfort that another long weekend is coming next week. Take care 'aight!

:) eKa @ 10:35:00 PM •