Saturday, August 28, 2010

Be Columbus

How are you doing peeps? I am actually feeling rather unwell now. I think I might be down with something. I was thinking how I hope I wouldn't get sick but then I think why not? It's a chance to just rest and take it easy. Like today. There's no class today and yesterday evening I was so ecstatic about the fact that I didn't have to set the alarm clock for this morning. I ended up leaving the bed just before 10 am. I did was awoken several times in the morning, I guess it's my body's clock, but I stayed in and that's the wonderful thing about it, I didn't have to get up :D I could just sleep in. It's such a luxury and it's so enviable how some people can just wake up when they feel like to.

So anyways, today was spent with NanSee. We went to watch Grown Ups which is not really an amazing movie or anything but I enjoyed it very very much. The story wasn't really deep so I can't really say much about it. I just love seeing the dynamic of this old group of friends. They seemed to have such a good time doing stuffs and I wish I can do such things with a fun group of people too. I guess I just really really want a holiday? Hmm ... I can't really say much else about this movie. I guess it's a good watch for a lazy Saturday or Sunday?

Since last weekend, I have been spending a lot of money on food :( and as usual, I couldn't really control what I eat, especially dessert. It's like no matter if I am already full, I will still have a full dessert. It's totally not a good week for the wallet as well as the cholesterol and sugar level. I know it's so uninteresting to say this and I don't even know why I feel the need to share this, but there you go. I guess I begin to worry about my financial state when I saw the balance in my account today and also when I foresee more expenses in the near future :( I really gotta stop surrendering to temptation.

Moving on. The title of the post. It's kinda strange, but I think it's kinda cool. It can be a tagline or something. A line you see on t-shirts or something. If it does appear on t-shirts or somewhere, can I claim as someone who came up with the idea? Okay, what's with it. Well my thoughts as you may know or not, jump all over the place. I don't know how it happens. I guess mostly it's when I am totally stressed out or when I haven't been using my brain for anything major. In the case of this one, it's the latter reason. So what does Be Columbus mean? You see, this week I had to make a decision if I want to go back to familiar water or go deeper and further into the unknown. Then the thought on Christopher Columbus just came to me as I was washing my hands in the toilet. Columbus chose adventure, well I don't know what his motivation was, but he sailed and took chances and you know the rest of the story. What I am facing in my life right now is hardly comparable to sailing to the unknown sea with all its danger and the possibility of not returning. Hence I thought Be Columbus, sail away, be brave, go to that unknown. You may fail but you may also not. You may end up discovering something awesome. I've made my decision, but it doesn't come with full conviction and belief in my heart. I guess one would always second guess their decision but I believe making a decision even when it's the wrong one is always better than not making a decision at all. Wrong or not, God is always there when we need Him and I really just need to let go all my worries and march on knowing that God is by my side.

It is really flattering though to know that someone thinks very highly of me and would love to have me around. It's a real blessing to know this because I was pretty much broken by the place that I left. I was made feeling that I am insignificant and unimportant. It's bad enough to question your whole entire existence, now imagine having someone telling you that you are not awesome and you are not good enough and what you do is not good enough. I likened it to having whatever little flicker of fire inside me to be extinguished. If I sound like I'm still emotional and holding grudges about it, I guess in a way I am. When I think about what had transpired, I do still get pretty upset. I AM trying to let it go. It would be good if people would apologize and admit that they made a mistake but I'm pretty sure it's never gonna happen. Okay, talking about it is not helping me let go, so I'm gonna shut up now. Well that's about it peeps. I want to lie down now. Buonanotte tutti!

:) eKa @ 11:32:00 PM •