Pebbles Thrown

Hello guys. I had quite a horrendous day today though I am much calmer now. I cried 3 times this morning before lunch. Christ! The first one was rather personal and was a bit short. The second one was rather explosive and as much as I sobbed like mad, I was still so called rippling(?) that I cried again when I was calling NanSee. Sigh. Everyone is telling me that if I am so burdened and sad like this, I should leave. Mom didn't say that though. Mom said don't listen to anyone and I should trust myself. She's right. Sigh. You know I guess I'm just emotionally very very weak these days. I do hate myself for being so weak again today. God damn it! I just fell apart again and no it's not PMS as many of the guys may think. It's not. My emotional state now is really that of a pond. Even the smallest pebble thrown will make a ripple and the pond takes a long time to be calm again.

I am okay now. So with such horrible morning I decided to skip the dinner and dance with the rest. I'm angry and sad and so I really can't be all social and chirpy. So when everyone had left, I did feel calmer with all the quietness and the catching up with Starfish did help. I actually manage to laugh. Starfish's phrase of the day was, "I don't give a rat ass". I told him to start a trend instead by saying, "I don't give a worm ass".

So ... sigh. I miss my mom. I have more difficulty ahead. I don't know how to deal with all of this without breaking down. Sigh. So help me God.

On other news, I went to watch The Day The Earth Stood Still with la Gioia yesterday and I love LOVE LOVE Keanu Reeves so much!!! I found the movie to be really entertaining and good even though there were lines and some of the actors' expression that made me roll my eyes. La Gioia amusingly counted how many expression Keanu had in the movie. He is known as the deadpan actor and I have to say that because of that he is perhaps the best actor to play an emotionless alien. I just find him to be really handsome. I was thinking of how many actors out there can look so cool with just a suit like the one he wore in the movie. I could only think of Will Smith actually. Aaahh ... can I get a Keanu Reeves? Anyway, he spoke a few Chinese lines in the movie. People seemed to be laughing so I guess his Chinese wasn't really good Go and watch it peeps. The movie is pretty worth the watch this holiday season.

I've picked up my Christmas present from Dagi today. Less treats this year, but it's okay because all the chocolates made the package quite heavy and I think it actually consumed much of her time preparing me such care package all these years. I got 2 boxes of biscuits, Santa in a snow globe and a small moose. Now I have a big moose and a small moose Small moose will join the farm in my bed while big moose will still have to stay in the mug.

On a different note. There's no homework this week but I like writing. If you know Italian well, you can help me correct my grammatical mistakes.

Il tempo è stato bello. Non ha piovuto. Lui le ha chiesto di parlare al giardino. Semplicemente perchè forse lui è stato un pò preoccupato perchè lei è stata infelice. É piacuto a lei il tempo. Il verde dei alberi. Il sole che non ha fatto caldo. Non è stata una panchina così lei è seduta sotto l'albero. Lei ha visto le formiche vicine a lei ma con lui lì, lei ha sentito in pace. Lei ha rotto qualche ramo quando hanno parlato. É piacuto proprio a lei il tempo con lui. Lui è davvero la sua aria fresca ma non vuole dirglielo. Hanno parlato per qualche tempo e poi sono ritornati. Lui ha detto, "abbiamo ancora tempo, è abbastanza per un bacio" e lui ha mosso più vicino. Ma non si sono baciati perchè lei vuole un tempo più bello per un bacio, un' occasione più bella.

:) eKa @ 8:54:00 PM •


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