Stopped

Hello guys. Aguas de Marco is playing in my winamp now. The French version. The original one from Antonio Carlos Jobim and Elis Regina is coming up after this and how I love it. Okay many of you are like lost in what I am talking about, though I've written about this song some years ago, so just go here peeps. This being the month of March, I guess I should relish this song even more. Truly one of my favorite never-can-get-bored-no-matter-how-many-time-I-hear-it song.

So there isn't any movie to talk about though there are a number that I want to watch. Read that Starfish watched Persepolis and I'm kinda envious about that. However timing and people are not in my side currently. I had quite a good day today despite of me being sick. Yes people, I'm finally stopped. I actually made it out of the house today but around 10 am, I called it quit. My runny nose didn't stop so I decided I was not in a good condition to go through the day. I went straight to the doc. She gave me the usual medication. By fate she asked me if I didn't sleep. I said I haven't been sleeping well for a long time and some people suggested asking sleeping pills from her. She said no and I agree with her. I think it would really stamp me as a nutcase if I do take sleeping pills and she said that once I started on that, I would never stop. So thank goodness that we are all logical about it. She didn't give me a day off for tomorrow. She said I would be fine. See, I've told you people, that I have a strict doctor. After talking to her, I kinda feel like I have my mom around. Today I just felt that the doctor was a bit motherly though there were many times when I think she's not too sympathetic. I guess because my own mother wouldn't be sympathetic at me either, she would actually scold me if I get sick

So I actually feel good today despite of the flu and the chest pain, which I am still having now (it's okay, it's rather mild). I got to sleep, thanks to the flu medicine. I love it when my body could shut down during my sleep. I woke up after an hour or so without feeling or remembering anything, like for that hour or so I didn't exist. Unfortunately this very rarely happens when I sleep. I guess my body really needed the rest. I've been feeling off for more than a week and I'm glad that today I'm finally able to stop. Life has been rather tight these days so I guess that's the reason why I kept going on. I guess somehow being sick couldn't fit in the schedule.

What have been happening? Some things happened but I kinda feel numb about it all. I didn't even write about Vinny leaving. He did. Though unlike the girls, some things are still unresolved for him. Being in the middle of the battle field, the first thought that came to my head was that I hope when my time comes to part ways, it will end in good terms. I don't even know who's right and who's wrong and it's tiring for me hearing agitation from both sides. Some people are guided by different things in their life, religion, beliefs, rock bands and such and so those guide you when you make your decision and your stand. I realize I am pretty much the Indonesian in looking at this situation, make that Chinese Indonesian if you want, as such I don't want confrontation. I just want it to be done and if it's me, I would just get everything done so that I can move on. Yeah, it's very difficult to be sincere, isn't it? You want to make a stand but sometime I wonder if the stand they want to make is a good one to choose. How about goodness? Again, I don't know who is right, who is wrong. Lois said everyone is wrong. She may actually be saying something wise.

Dear cousin's birthday was yesterday. So she is 26 and so I will too soon. If you have read the previous posts, I've written that I've embraced being 26 since the start of the year but that doesn't really stop the sadness that comes when I think of my looming birthday. Yes, it is inevitable but the officialism of it all is still hard to swallow. Is there a difference between being 25 and 26? Isn't age is just a number? Yeah for me there is. As usual, I feel like I'm running out time and as much as my life hasn't actually been a total failure, I feel like I've wasted some parts of my life *sigh* Anyways, dear cousin's family is having quite a bad time now. One of her uncles is hospitalized. For me that's another nudge from God that life is precious and the certainty of it is so unpredictable. I feel that's like another nudge for me to do that thing that I dream of doing (I'm scared, God). Anyway, my cousin said that they are praying for the best and I think they are praying for strength to face whatever it is God decides. It's kinda scary for me if I really think about it. It also makes me feel thankful that I have parents, though perhaps I don't have the perfect relationship with them. I think you should too, be thankful for everything that you have.

I gotta go now, it's getting late and my tomorrow is gonna be heavy. Let me leave you with a quote I read today from Henry Ford, "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do". So true, very very true.

:) eKa @ 9:55:00 PM •

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