Monday, November 19, 2007

That 11 Days

11 days since I last wrote. As you may have expected there's nothing interesting that happened in that 11 days, but let's just write it down anyway.

1. Sunday (11/11/07) - Went for Wei's wedding dinner. He didn't put La Gioia with us, but I got to sit with Ms. Kiera, Mimi, and Mel (surprise, surprise). It was really good to see them again and I'm glad I got to share the table with them. Surprisingly met Aika there. Since I saw her, I was expecting to see others familiar faces but none to be found. I got to thinking how different our circle of friends have become. There I was sitting with people I've known for maybe 2 years or so and I was thinking of all the people whom I didn't stay in touch with, people whom I shared my glorious university days with. Yeah, I am a snob. Told Osh that I met Aika and told him how I didn't know so many things about her now. Osh told me that apparently he hadn't been seeing much of her either. I guess you just meet new people, make new friends. However the realization that it comes with the cost of forgetting your old ones does make it sad. Still, I'm not doing anything about it.

2. So the last time I wrote, I said I would have solitude for a week or so. I did and I loved it so much and I was telling myself that if I have a chance to have an apartment of my own in a city, I would be so happy. I would like that to happen very much! And here I am wondering why I still have noone?

3. A few misfortunes in the past week and today as well. Last week I was rather depressed because there was a possibility that all my files were gone. Seriously when my folder couldn't be accessed in the external hard disk (lucky me, only my folder couldn't be accessed), my head was quickly accessing the damage and I was contemplating how was I to go on. I seriously didn't think I could handle such a blow. I wonder if CC was in a panic mode as well, maybe since I told her not to so she appeared calm because if she was in a panic state, I was surely gonna cry there and then and a tear was actually forming. She stayed on to get all my files in which she succeeded. She actually stayed quite late and I felt rather guilty. I hope Sean was not too upset. I couldn't imagine if Sean decided to get out there and then (Sean is inside CC's tummy). Then just last Friday another misfortune happened. I was quite upset actually and actually I haven't got it all out of my chest. Something you just couldn't tell people *sigh* Then this morning I got an email which made me exclaim "What the FUCK?!?". Yeah I said the F word loudly. I was pissed and still am. It's so unfair and God damn it! Just because I don't complain as much that doesn't mean that everything is so smooth in my life, that I could do everything. I'm tired and frustrated and I seriously begin to hate.

4. Oh yeah, I should mention Tuesday (13/11/07). The day of the Linkin Park's concert and I didn't go. I was in my room feeling utterly bitter about it. I couldn't believe I was in my room writing. Regret.

5. Then today, the D day (Hari H). Was so nervous since morning and I couldn't concentrate much especially after the moronic mail. I was still looking up words and still trying to get as much things into my head but by 1 pm, I decided I had enough. It was so much more difficult than what I had been preparing and I felt rather upset about it. As usual I sucks at the speaking part. It was such a disappointment. I hope I don't fail because of that. That got me thinking, since I'm still not proficient yet, moving to my next plan next year seems rather hasty. However if I don't do it, I wouldn't be able to meet my future plan. Yeah, I do have a small future plan for my life. Though people may say that my "plan" is not really a concrete plan since it's not life changing or as the father of a twin asked me 2 weeks ago, where do you see yourself with it? what are you going to do with it in the future? I hate that sorts of questions *sigh* and yes it's not going to make my life better but I don't know, I just like knowing that I know stuffs, like the capital city of Romania is Bucharest. Anyways, many people had been nice and supportive about today. Starfish actually said good luck many times since long time ago and he was the first one I chose to release my tension after I finished the ordeal. There were many other good lucks (in bocca al lupo) being given and there were some follow up sms as well. Thank you vy, Grazie Carl! So now, we just have to wait and see. We have to wait quite long.

6. Miss home, I miss home so much. Last week, I was thinking that after today I can do another count down, the remaining days 'till home but I'm not feeling all cheery now. Still, I think I can still just look forward for that days at home. Eating my mom's fried noodle. Maybe meeting Rista and Osh (who was sent to Jakarta). I kinda miss Osh now actually. We had some small funny conversation last week. I really need home. I feel like I'm done. It feels like I am really getting towards the end of my chapter this year. I can feel it's ending and I feel my whole entire energy has ran out, maybe just enough (hopefully, it feels barely) to go through the remaining days here. I just want my bed *sigh* A thought just came to my head of how I have to use the holiday to study because if not Gascoigne is so gonna scream at me again *sigh*. I'm tired ... I'm too tired.

However I am taking booking now. Get me before I leave people. Take care!

:) eKa @ 8:39:00 PM •