* dugem *

Only an Indonesian who lives in big cities will know what the title means So I did it last night, with some friends, in a place which is quite well known in Singapore (I think). Ha! If you don't know what the title means, you may not know what I am talking about I just don't want to reveal much, approaching it with caution, just as when I made the decision to join them. Before I elaborate more, I need to say, that my thoughts actually went to several people. Like Stella and Gaby (my ex roommate and neighbour back in Uni days) who wanted to see me do it 5-6 years ago. Carl and P who on our last meeting said they should really take me out and introduce me to interesting liquids. I remember P making an argument saying, don't you want to try something new? There were other people like Mr. Italian Job who once worked in this kinda place, aaahhh... I wonder if they would really smile and clap and say "you finally live"

24 and it was my first time doing it. I seriously don't see the necessity of trying it, hence I was really not enthusiastic about going, really close to not going. All the while thinking it's just not the right thing (spiritually, don't laugh peeps!) to do and mom wouldn't like it, and it's on Mother's day (for Indonesian), I did exactly what would make my mom worried. Gonna call her tomorrow and tell her what it's like. So what changed my mind? Beside the constant telling from people to go? Because it's the girl's farewell also. Now that I think about it, without me, that girl would end up with La Gioa alone, and they would have all the guys

So I was asked, of course, how was it? I would answer interesting. I think using 'interesting' is kinda a politically correct way to answer the question. If I don't like it, then it's a polite way of answering. If I do really like it, then it kinda disguises the fact that I really like it. So do I like it or not? Well, I don't think Eka belongs there. I mean being there, I can just see why the place is just so wrong and being in a place where wrong doing happen, though I didn't do anything wrong, well...just feel a bit wrong for me. If you think that I am being saintly or too freaking serious here, well, one is entitled of one's opinion and view on certain thing, right? However given the same nice people that I went with, I don't mind going again, though I hope the next time it does happen it would be in weeks and weeks and weeks to come. Oh, I should add that Carl, P, and the Brasiliano would be somewhat disappointed with the liquid I took. They would say "devi bere di più"

Okay, enough about that. I wanna write about life in general, and will do so in points so that I don't forget. This gonna be long.

1. There was these words Ms. J wrote in her Christmas card for me, Personal thoughtfulness. I just find it pretty profound. People like her are so nice to me. Recently I also felt so much thoughtfulness from Dagi who outdid herself by sending me my Christmas presents in a box, which size was double of last year. 8 types of German biscuits and chocolates, a moose in a mug, and an agenda. I have to admit she is too nice to me, and it is truly mind-boggling to me, why people can be so nice to me and really care. So it started this whole thought in my head that I need to do the same to other people, like spreading through their kindness to other people. One particular thing that I was thinking of doing was discussed with the Mr. It was a waste of letters typed, because it wasn't meant to be. I think he thinks it's real waste of his breath

2. There was this matter that Ms. J and I have been talking for quite some time. I woke up with 2 sms from her this morning. The 2nd one was written when she was on her way to the airport. She was actually thinking about it though she was on her way for holiday. As if that's not enough, she sent me a mail from the airport telling me that if something urgent happens, she can still be reachable in her phone. I think I will try my darnest not to do that because she needs to detoxify herself also, and this matter may remind her of her situation. Me myself is also on holiday, so I can detoxify myself. Obviously the detoxification in Indonesia didn't really work, because I am back in Singapore where the things are happening. I don't know, I think I am getting used to it, that I think it's no biggie. Though I think the Mr may also be speechless and bang his head if he hears what happened. I think he thinks all this unnecessary complicated things in my life are a waste of time, but again that's what makes him look forward to talk to me I suppose

3. Bought 4 books for me for my Christmas presents All because Vivy told me yesterday of the discount that we can print to get 40% off for 4 books at Borders. The 4 books are all from Paulo Coelho They are: Eleven Minutes, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, The Valkyries and the latest one that I wanted and wrote last time, Like the Flowing River. I still haven't gotten Veronika Decides to Die (out of stock) and The Zahir, so you all can get me that Anyway, if you gave me any of the above books up there that I have bought myself, I would gladly and joyfully accept it. I can use my copies as presents to other people and keep yours for me Ha! I am talking as if anyone would care enough to get me those books. Why am I so obsessed with Coelho? I have no idea, I guess I just like all that he wrote. Hopefully these 4 will not be a disappointment. I can lend you if you are interested, but you need to wait until I finish it, which will be quite some time All in all, I save around 30 dollars and I am happy.

4. Obviously, I am getting broke but that didn't stop me from watching Charlotte's Web today. Didn't plan to but was waiting for my cousin to come to Orchard for dinner, so I ended up watching the movie. So many famous people provided the voices. A very nice film, though I can not say it is remarkably captivating. It just felt it was quite okay. Dakota Fanning is destined to be great, but her performance in this one was just normal. Her character did not have much room to expand anyway. Oprah didn't really sound like Oprah. Julia Roberts sounded so Julia, it took me a while to relate her to the spider. I do must say that she provided some kind of wisdom and commanding respect for Charlotte. I think the moral of the story can be summed up in the last word Charlotte made, humble. It's pretty much in the last conversation between Wilbur the pig and Charlotte.

5. So I went to watch the movie alone. Was planning to do it, but didn't plan to do it on a weekend. I normally avoid watching a movie alone on weekends, because it's more crowded and I don't like the idea of people may be looking at me. So even if I have to, I wouldn't choose popular places. But today I did, and I felt okay and fine, enjoying it very much. Mom is worried with my anti social character. She said that people can not live on their own without some reliance on friends. She is right people, because I did learn back in school that human are social people. They need other people to survive. But so far, I think I'm doing fine. I can do many things on my own and it's okay. It may look and feel miserable at times, but the way I see it, currently it is the way it has to be. Friend may not always be there for you the second you need them and obviously I don't have that one person who would always be there for me. I don't know if I will have one, but as we are finding out, I am still okay with me

6. Finally met my cousin. Had dinner and talk. Arrghh, I have blisters Officially tired now, though I woke up feeling okay this morning despite of getting less than 5 hours sleep, in which I did not sleep soundly either. I guess all the walking today in that short heels did weaken me.

Can't really think of anything else. I'm just tired *sigH* I still have to write again, in other places tired ...

:) eKa @ 10:52:00 PM •

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