Saturday, October 21, 2006

Il Sabato Libero

22 October 2005, that was the date that I wrote in the first page of my note book. It was really a year ago. A year ago, I started something because one should use one's time well. I started it with every intention to get me somewhere with it. I do learn a lot of things, if it's going to get me somewhere, we will see. Unexpectedly, there's this big possibility of me not continuing doing what I have been doing, well at least for 10 weeks (hopefully only for 10 weeks). I'm not so keen of this happening because I always feel I'm running out of time, so to stop doing something just feel like a waste. However it's for the best I suppose. I'm pretty happy how the 5 of us who are still together are really together. We are very united, and somehow it surprises me. Carl is the one who was with me since the beginning. She sounded very chirpy on the phone when she called me this week though her call started a small mutiny Reading her blog, she has all this frustration inside of her, but for me she always comes across as confident, optimistic, and happy with life. I guess people always have things hidden inside of them. I think most of the time I come across as sad, which I can't deny myself. A lot of sadness, frustration, and worry in me. This week a girl told me that I looked sad that day, when I was actually in full concentration. I guess my full concentration look is a sad look Anyway, Saturdays would be empty now and it kinda makes me sad. Someone suggested to me that maybe it is my time to explore Singapore since I obviously haven't. So who wants to accompany me to Pulau Ubin, Jurong Bird Park, Snow City, etc? Anyone? That actually would require me to open up. Maybe the Mr is right, this is the time now to open up to other people *sigH* The Mr is so right (on other things as well). It would be a waste if his parental skill is only applied on me

So today is a public holiday. So for the first time in a long time, I actually slept last night without setting my alarm. The good news now is that I can spend many Saturdays doing so Got out from my bed really late today (though I think I still woke up early). Then I also took a nap. I think because I'm so freaking lazy, my right shoulders now hurt. Been living unhealthily this week. I know I have a very unhealthy lifestyle but this week is worse. I ate junk today and I ate way too much than necessary this week, too much sugar. I'm not gonna defend or blame myself. Let it be, don't feel like thinking about it. I do give in to sin and temptation way too easy this week. Glad to say that I did something useful and worked my brain today. This morning I was cleaning other people shit. Bloody hell is what I want to say. I think there can only be 2 rationalization for it, one is smart people can have very limited common sense (Donald Trump actually said that in The Apprentice episode shown in channel 5 last week) and two, some people just want to make your life miserable (in this case knowing full well that that person would be me). Okay, I'm being kind, so I throw in number three that some people just don't care or don't have the integrity to do something right and finished, knowing full well that there would be someone else to deal with it (and again in this case that someone else is me).

Take your pick people. Some people purposely make other people life miserable is rather too cutthroat for me, however if you know what shit I am dealing with, you can't help wondering. Anywho, since surprisingly I could fix the things quite fast (Thank God for not making me so dumb), I'm not really in a wanna-kill-someone-and-curse pissed mood. I have this strange feeling that there are some other anomaly though, so my mood can still change. Let me illustrate the situation. It's like there's this small river, you just need to make something for people to cross the river happily and safely. A raft or perhaps a small boat can do, but this smart person made a ship. A posh ship, with great engine and all. However this person didn't check that if you want to make a ship with toilet and all, check if the plumbing works correctly. The plumbing has a leak which causes the passengers to have a bad time (and perhaps unsafe because they can trip and fall because of the water) when crossing the river. This causes the ship to be not that appealing for them to use. Hence it defeats the objective of getting people cross the river safely and happily. I want to say "Bloody Hell" because why can't we just stick to the basic. It may not be challenging however you should focus on the objective first before getting all fancy and miss the target. Okay, enough about that.

I have written long and unimportant things, haven't I? I actually have this list of thoughts that I was thinking of writing in this blog when I have nothing interesting to tell. However since this post is already quite long, I will spare you and I will write those things on a later date. I hope you have a more meaningful day peeps.

PS: I have been writing unimportant stuff for 3 years now. Some things do change for the better but I just feel things have not been improving as much as it can or should be. So tired of feeling like a failure.

:) eKa @ 7:01:00 PM •