Saturday, September 16, 2006

Saturday at the Park

I normally switch off my phone at around 09:30 pm or perhaps earlier when I don't want to be disturbed. As such, any sms that was sent to me after that hour only reach me when I wake up in the morning. I'm glad to say that such things do not happen everyday. Thursday morning I woke up with a message from (I wonder if I should write his name, was thinking of using eeYORe, however let me just say it) Roy. He has left and of course there's that tinge of sadness. I knew he was going to leave a year ago. There were times back in the Uni days when we used to talk over the msn quite often. Then there was the girlfriend, the different opinion we had, and basically the different life that we carried. So we drifted apart (as what normally happen to friends as the Mr said). We didn't really stay in touch, but he remembered me and actually sent me a message thanking me for everything (everything by the way took place around 3 years ago) and told me to take care *sigH* I was already sad when he told me he would be leaving a year ago. I should be happy for him and wish him all the best, which I really hope for him. However, the fact that people move on just freak me out because I am still here. Another thing that freaks me is his planning took him a year until he finally left and I don't even have a plan now! I may not be able to get out. Oh God, help me please. Anyway, I wish Roy all the best. Of course there's the envy in me because he gets to see other part of the world. Thinking about it, I wonder if we would ever see each other again, ever. Since I am the pessimistic one, I think it is possible that I wouldn't get to see him ever again. Either way, as he said to me, I want to say "Stammi Bene, mio caro amico".

This morning I woke up and around 4 messages from La Gioa forced me to really wake up. I went to my usual Saturday engagement. These last few Saturdays had been alright. Since I have so many unfinished business, I went to the park afterwards. I don't know if I expected anyone to be there, however there was only 1 pet there. It was pretty good to have him there. We talked during my starbucks lunch (today is really a junk food day, in summary it was mcdonalds - starbucks - KFC, I am very stressed people). The pet told me about Mandy. How stupid and ironic, I thought it was a love found, however it was a love lost and it's pretty sad. Seriously my life is pretty plain. I have yet to have much life experience. I left at around 6 plus and I decided to go to the Church. I hadn't been going there for a long time, more than 1 year plus I think. There were many people in the Church. I think the last time I was there, there weren't many people at the Saturday mass. I have had people asking me my religion direction. They think it's pretty weird. However for me, it's about believing in God and talking to Him (though you suppose to listen to Him more than complaining to Him).

I'm pretty tired now. I still have so many things to do. I don't know if I could survive it all. This week, I got very very sad because of a very stupid thing. I couldn't get something out of my system (still not yet). I can only say "Damn it!". I really do think I must smash my head to something. Yeah Mr, you should really knock my head. I'm just a freaking idiot! Ah! I should not go into details, I'm just gonna be more screwed up. I'm sorry for not being able to tell more interesting story people. Mr, I just don't have time, so sorry for not being able to talk to you. I may collapse and break down really soon.

:) eKa @ 10:31:00 PM •