Saturday, February 18, 2006

Gunung Punggung Patah

Hehe, the title is a bit weird. It's a direct translation of Brokeback Mountain in Indonesian. I may translate it wrongly though Went to watch that movie with some people today The movie was really interesting. Interesting because of my reaction after watching it. Yes, it was quite draggy but I just didn't expect to react like this after the movie. Brokeback mountain as you may have all known, which I'm just gonna repeat again (perhaps in more detail), tells the story of 2 cowboys, Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Ennis (Heath Ledger) who first met one summer when they were sherperding sheeps. One cold night, they ended up spending the night in the small tent. What started off as a way to avoid Ennis from dying because of sleeping in the cold night turned into a sexual experience (I kinda can't believe that I wrote that). Anyway, the morning left them feeling confused and weird, because they're sure that they weren't queer. However the confusion couldn't stop them from continuing on. The gig for them that summer was over and they went their separate ways. They got married and have kids. 4 years later, Jack looked up for Ennis and obviously they still had their fire inside their hearts (Gosh, this sounds so cheesy). They relighted that fire and ended up meeting several times a year for a "fishing trips". Ennis' wife (Michelle Williams) actually found out about it on the first day that Jack came, however she never confronted Ennis. They got divorced, and one thanksgiving with her new husband, Ennis' wife confronted him. Jack was pretty happy when Ennis got a divorce and he suggested again that they should just live somewhere, the 2 of them. Ennis rejected the idea again. I guess because he felt that he could never do it, or in the modern term, just be "open" about his sexuality. So, on and on they carried on with their "fishing trips", of course it has its problems. In the end, Jack died because he was killed and it was kinda sad for me actually.

I like the mountain scenes, with the mountain, trees, grass, and rivers, beautiful view. I felt it was kinda amazing that 2 cowboys could manage so many sheeps (so many!). I think Michelle Williams was pretty good in the movie. First saw her in Dawson's Creek and that image of her as Jenn there really stick in me, however she totally erased that in this movie. The sex scenes was kinda uncomfortable but strangely the sex scenes between the guys felt kinda natural and this is why I think it is so, and also why people have been saying that Brokeback Mountain is a good movie. Again, this is only my opinion.

A lot of time, most people just couldn't comprehend and believe that there could actually be "real love" between people of the same gender. We may just dismiss it as lust or being experimental. Again, it's because we just couldn't understand it. However this movie shows that, Love, no matter if it happen between people of the same gender or not, it's still the same Love. The same feeling that we feel, that we can relate with. Maybe they were great actors that made us believe how they feel. I just sympathize them so much throughout the movie. I seriously feel so sad for Ennis when Jack died, because I just didn't expect a sad ending like that and it was just so so SAD!!! Because it was about missing someone that we love some much. See...Now it has become about missing someone that we love, not so much about having a feeling towards a person of the same gender (I wonder if I'm explaining what I want correctly). Anyway, if you start thinking that I am weird, well let me just tell you that the girl sitting next to me actually shed some tears because she also felt that the ending was so sad. So, the movie is good because it's pretty enlightening, I think especially for people who are skeptical about gay relationship. As the tagline for the movie said "Love is a Force of Nature". It indeed is.

Had a pretty good time with the people I watched the movie with. No names because...well I try to hide myself (identity wise) though there are hints in many places but mentioning names of some people can lead to disclosing about me and what I do with my life. I don't know if I am that open. Had one and a half of brownies and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It was very sweet, there were actually 2 slices of brownies but I just couldn't finish it. All the sweetness makes me feel rather queasy now. Too much sugar. Okay, I don't know if the dessert was the one who caused this.

On other news. Geez, had an unfortunate thing this week. Left my dear Daisy (my external hard disk) somewhere this week. I didn't even realize that until the next morning. Still, I think I should be thankful that I could still get it back. Been thinking that...well, with each new year we are getting older (duH!). I normally claim that I am older only after my birthday pass but this year, strangely I was already embracing being 24. Not happily of course (I hate being older). I don't know, I just do. My dear cousin, Marlisa, said during one of our encounter that she truly felt old now, at this age and I feel exactly the same. 24 is old!!! However, last Saturday made me think this topic quite a lot, how I felt that somehow I get "special / better treatment" because I am young, which I am not! 24 is old. But I don't know, some people see me as being so young. Maybe the way I look, dress, or behave. I know I should just be thankful that people are being nice to me but I can't help feeling that it's a bit unfair (to other people who don't get that special treatment, I mean). I am in one hand maybe being unbelievably mean for not being able to believe that people can actually be kind and nice, maybe I'm just thinking about things that actually not there (I don't know, I am weird), maybe...maybe...maybe...I don't know. But at this age, I should be able to stand on my own feet and manage on my own, and all these times it just felt that I have been getting so much help that make me feel a bit of a failure because it felt like that I couldn't get through without help from other people. As I learned in junior high, human as social being do need other people in life and I could just see it as blessing from God. But still...I don't know why, I have this somewhere in my head that I'm such a loser for always having people helping me out. I am weird and this post has gone longer than what I wanted too. Never mind, I haven't been writing for a while.

:) eKa @ 10:47:00 PM •